Just checking in. I overate at my Memorial Day BBQ and today's weigh-in reflected that. Hoping some more water weight comes off soon.
My summer school session starts on Monday and this week is office busyness. I'm feeling anxious about a couple of big projects with hard June 3rd deadlines but - after indulging my anxiety eating on Monday - I'm trying very hard not to let that anxiety translate into poor food choices.
Saef, I have scarcity thinking as you've defined it as well. I've been living alone in my parents' house for the past year and a half or so, but in mid-June I'll be going through some living transition. My parents are moving back to Atlanta and we're going to overlap in the house for about 3 weeks, then I'm moving in with a roommate. I've realized this week that I've been fighting binge thoughts like, "I have to eat like this NOW, because once I have witnesses I can't eat like this anymore." That thought has problems on many levels, no?
Also checking in. Not a good weigh-in. I'm at 152.6.
I've been feeling rebellious and questioning my rigid routines, and the weigh-in reflects this. Relaxing seems to end in regain, but I can't find it in myself to become severely restrictive.
Today I've made a better start. Just two cups of coffee very early, lots of water. Ate an apple because I was ravenous, but that's it. Talked myself out of taking both morning and evening spin classes, seeing that as a form of self-punishment through overexercising, and simply settled for my usual morning class.
Saef, I don't think I can have understood properly. Have you had any breakfast? If I don't have a proper breakfast my day is often shot to pieces.
Complicated family stuff going on at both ends of the country. The good news is I've just planted out some runner bean plants for my ma. Rather late but the weather's been bonkers. They'll get away now.
Good luck today, Saef. I understand the 'white knuckled' feeling.
Birchie - thinking of you, hoping things settle down.
I'm back at 145 today. I went down to 143, popped back up to 147 with TOM starting, back down to 145 now. I've been pretty solidly plus or minus this 145 for about two years now I think. I wonder if this is where I should stay and just accept it.
Finished up with most of the yard work yesterday - bolted the gazebo to the concrete patio, got a propane tank for the firepit, bought an indoor/outdoor rug, some cafe lights to hang. Once those are set up we should be done with the construction phase and can enjoy the fruits of our labor.
Good luck today, Saef. I understand the 'white knuckled' feeling.
Birchie - thinking of you, hoping things settle down.
I'm back at 145 today. I went down to 143, popped back up to 147 with TOM starting, back down to 145 now. I've been pretty solidly plus or minus this 145 for about two years now I think. I wonder if this is where I should stay and just accept it.
Finished up with most of the yard work yesterday - bolted the gazebo to the concrete patio, got a propane tank for the firepit, bought an indoor/outdoor rug, some cafe lights to hang. Once those are set up we should be done with the construction phase and can enjoy the fruits of our labor.
So, when is the Gazebo housewarming party ? I wanna come.
JenMusic: I went through the same thing recently. I had lived alone for about three years (following the rocky end of a long relationship), and gotten accustomed to it. Then my boyfriend, now fiancee, asked me to move in with him this April. The first thing on my mind was oh God, now I have to eat like a 'normal person' again. I can't show that I sometimes lose control around food - it is something that he could never relate to.
That thinking led me to about 18 days of the worst eating of my life (the "this is my last chance to binge!" mindset). I have only now finished undoing the damage, and it was absolutely NOT worth it. Just another example of how fear is my worst enemy. Living together is going fine and the eating thing is really not a big deal after all. I hope things go well for you because you're right, that thinking leads to disaster on several levels.
saef, re; Scarcity thinking...
I think I suffer from Over Abundance thinking. When I shop I am shopping for several days, maybe a week so when I get home and put everything away I have lots of food. Somehow my mind thinks I should eat it all as soon as possible not remembering I won't be going to the store for at least another week. I know I can make another trip to the store but I also know if I do I will start thinking I should eat it right away, why ? Because it is there, readily available.
This is exactly how I think, bargoo! In fact, appropos to that, I just went grocery shopping today. I resisted buying lots of goodies that I wanted really, really bad. I actually had some Cheetos in my cart, the individualized small bags (which is how I justified putting them in my cart: "I can buy them and just have one bag with lunch each day"). But I forced myself to put them back because I know from past experience that I'll just keep opening one bag after another if I'm in the wrong frame of mind. Anyway, what I did bring home, though, was some Stoneyfield Farms Creme Caramel frozen yogurt. It's 520 calories for the entire pint. I had planned to have one portion (130 calories) tonight after dinner. Did I do that, though? No. Instead, I opened the pint, sat at my computer to do some work, and ate the entire pint. While I ate it, I was thinking, "I'll just go ahead and finish this. That way, it will be gone and I won't have to think about it." Argh! I hate that I think that way!
Oh, my. I order my coffee from Gevalia and this month's shipment included a sample of dark chocolate Acai with blueberry. 100 calorie packet (thankfully only 100 calories) with 35 calories from fat (obviously the chocolate). Yummy little nuggets that I will never buy as there is no way I could control myself eating them!
Birchie, thanks, I always have a good breakfast. When I said that I'd had "just two cups of coffee," I was solely counting caffeinated beverages consumed during the course of the day. A two-cup morning is moderate -- as opposed to a six-cup day at work.
We went out to lunch today on Long Island Sound, and I had a salad topped with grilled swordfish, which was really good and not overdone.
This day may very well turn out okay. But it still has almost five hours to run before I faceplant in bed.
I have been carefully refeeding the past two days to try and avert the inevitable "I haven't eaten properly in days" rebound that will come. The excitement of the music festival compounded with too many sugarfree Red Bulls and not enough meal breaks pulled me all the way down to 121.0; I am at 122.6 today and sick with a cold. Had a ton of chicken with avocado, yogurt, eggs, fruit, Quest peanut butter cups, and a couple huge bowls of chicken noodle soup + 1/4 pint of ice cream yesterday.
I did feel a bit weird posting about this not-ideally-healthy cut and the results because I know many are struggling with stubborn gains, and also I am 26 and gain and lose water weight VERY quickly.
Hoping those in NY are doing OK after a series of storms - our area got hit quite hard, Schenectady where my parents live got the worst of it. They had 8 trees down, broken windows, and a caved in roof. My mom seemed in an OK headspace about it and said they went to McDonalds for dessert at 10 PM after the damage had been done. I feel pretty conflicted about that because my father is obese, severely depressed, and hypoglycemic - he is the last person who needs an XL frappe.
I have been carefully refeeding the past two days to try and avert the inevitable "I haven't eaten properly in days" rebound that will come. The excitement of the music festival compounded with too many sugarfree Red Bulls and not enough meal breaks pulled me all the way down to 121.0; I am at 122.6 today and sick with a cold. Had a ton of chicken with avocado, yogurt, eggs, fruit, Quest peanut butter cups, and a couple huge bowls of chicken noodle soup + 1/4 pint of ice cream yesterday.
I did feel a bit weird posting about this not-ideally-healthy cut and the results because I know many are struggling with stubborn gains, and also I am 26 and gain and lose water weight VERY quickly.
Hoping those in NY are doing OK after a series of storms - our area got hit quite hard, Schenectady where my parents live got the worst of it. They had 8 trees down, broken windows, and a caved in roof. My mom seemed in an OK headspace about it and said they went to McDonalds for dessert at 10 PM after the damage had been done. I feel pretty conflicted about that because my father is obese, severely depressed, and hypoglycemic - he is the last person who needs an XL frappe.
Krampus, I'm sorry that you're not feeling well. Your menu seems chock full of nutritious foods that should help you to feel better.
I'm glad that your parents are okay after the storm.
I did feel a bit weird posting about this not-ideally-healthy cut and the results because I know many are struggling with stubborn gains, and also I am 26 and gain and lose water weight VERY quickly.
Krampus, I'm sooo glad you checked in with us, as I was fretting over whether our comments would make you feel uncomfortable hanging out here. I would really miss you if you moved away to another neighborhood.
You shouldn't have to wear a sign around your neck: "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful."
We didn't drink the Haterade. I think it's clear a lot of us on the forum can't help comparing ourselves with others -- there's a post here on exactly that -- and it's because we're really, really hard on ourselves, and seize on others, and you were someone who got, well, seized upon.
You know, I remember you posting somewhere that you were working really hard at the gym but knew you'd have to do a "cut" to see some of your results, but you felt "too lazy" (if I remember right) to do a cut. And I thought, reading your post: "Yeah, I don't know if I could hack that because of how hungry exercise makes me feel."
Well, look. You definitely are not lazy. You just wanted to be motivated. And the right motivation came along.
Here's to a gentle re-entry. And I hope your Dad is doing okay.
I was never able to convince my late father to walk or make healthier choices at meal-time and I'm still sad about it, five years later.
Krampus - no, post anything you want honey. I hope that you can ease back in without triggering any overeating - I know it would be hard for me to do. I'm sorry that you don't feel well, that doesn't help. Glad your folks are okay, and agree with your worry about your dad.
Well, my coworkers just brought me a gift card from starbucks and 6 cake pops for my birthday. They ate two of them, I ate one while they were in here. The minute they left I got an aggravating phone call and ate another one. Then an email, another one. Then a 25 page ranting fax, ate the 4th one. At least they are all gone now.
I had to look up Cake Pops. [Hangs head in shame at her ignorance.]
Wish I hadn't, as the wee things are mighty cute and appealing, and appallingly easy to consume. I think two bites would do it, if I were being ladylike.
