I know what you mean about the guilt. I sure want to get rid of that. I'm not sure all food is bad so much as how we use it makes it bad. I think you can binge on just about anything. I have been thinking how I have done in the past with most foods. i.e. I have in the past bought something like a bag of candy I wanted. I would eat several pieces (maybe even would be considered a binge) but once I ate what I wanted (not the whole bag) I turned to DH and said, "That's it. I don't want any more of it". Some of those things, I have never thought of again and at this moment I can't tell you what some of them were. They are not part of my life now. I've never eaten them since. May or may not ever again. I saw some thing in the store the other day a candy and I remember thinking that I used to love those, but I have no desire to ever eat another one; I haven't in years. Why? I have no idea. I think this is where IE will help me. If I wanted it, I could have it and move on... no guilt. There is one food that I never buy and may never buy again only because in the past I could eat the whole bag in one sitting. Talk about a binge that was a binge. I will eat them at parties where I can't eat many, but never eat them at home.
Strange you mentioned the religious recovery from guilt and fear control. I have been doing some of that myself. I grew up in a church that knew nothing of salvation just a social group and then I got into a group that you were saved, but you were constantly in fear of losing it and feeling guilty. I listen a lot to Joyce Meyer on tv now and I am reading her book Beauty For Ashes. The wonderful thing I have learned in the past few months is that God's Love is Uncondtional. My relationship with Him has nothing to do with me doing everything right or feeling guilty or fearful. I don't. It is not about doing things right to keep from feeling guilty or being afraid. I have decided it is all about me just loving the Lord and trusting Him to love me whether I do everything right or not. I don't have to fit into the "box" other people have designed for me. I am at this point trying to learn to love myself and to be good to me. I'm supposed to love my neighbor as myself. I can't love others the way I'm supposed to if I don't love me and I can love me if I think God is mad at me all the time because His love is conditional. Just my opinion for what it is worth. While learning to get free in my way of eating, I am also learning to get free in other areas of me life as well.
Amen to that, Patty. "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works lest any man should boast." Eph 2:8,9 "And I give unto them eternal life and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand." John 10:28. Salvation is forever.
That's right Carol. That says it all. Hope you're feeling better and having a great day. This has been my first day of Whole Foods Lifestyle w/IE thinking and it has been a very good and successful day.
Hear, hear!
I am in total agreement. I'm reading a book called People Pleasers, and it falls into the whole category of doing things to make other people happy, including eating and losing weight, etc. And also confusing other people's expectations with God's expectations-- they happen to be a lot different. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. So there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" foods (those labels REALLY irk me-- it takes our focus off of the REAL things in this world that are truly Good or Bad), but just good and bad attitudes toward them (moderate enjoyment versus gluttony). Good stuff to think on.
We ate out yesterday, and I took your advice from last week-- ordered a small appetizer and a salad, not a whole entree (even shared my appetizer with everyone). Then was able to eat some baklava at the end of the meal (a fave of mine) because I had saved room! mmm!
It's curious how things develop-- don't know how, but does anyone here ever revert to the "scarcity mentality"? Meaning if there's something delicious in front of me, I think "I have to eat it ALL, because I don't know when I'll get more of this delicious food, so I have to enjoy it all NOW." The trouble is, the more I stuff myself with it, the less I enjoy it. I guess that's what this whole IE thing really is about. Just telling yourself, "It WILL be there later, and if it's not, big deal! It's just food!" I think this came from the fact that when we put something in the fridge growing up, it was fair game for my dad, so it might not even be there when we came back to get it. So we had to eat it ALL or risk losing it. And for a kid, learning how to be moderate with treats is important. My husband is so much different than my father in that regard, and I used to make fun of the fact that he would leave a tablespoon of something in the bottom of the jar if he wasn't hungry enough to finish it (would drive me nuts!). But now I see the wisdom and moderation in it, and often try to leave a bite, just to remind myself that I don't have to eat it all.
Sorry-- long post. Just had a lot of thoughts this morning. I love Monday mornings. I get to catch my breath after the whirlwind weekend!
The house is now on the market! We still have things to do, but we're ready for visitors. Having your house on the market but no showings feels like having a party and no one shows up... heehee. Just have to trust God's timing.
Last edited by mom2mollie; 12-10-2007 at 12:10 PM.
I really found this thought-provoking : "does anyone here ever revert to the "scarcity mentality"? Meaning if there's something delicious in front of me, I think "I have to eat it ALL, because I don't know when I'll get more of this delicious food, so I have to enjoy it all NOW." The trouble is, the more I stuff myself with it, the less I enjoy it. I guess that's what this whole IE thing really is about. Just telling yourself, "It WILL be there later, and if it's not, big deal! It's just food!" "
It's really true for me in so many cases. I'm trying to break it but it's a habit from long back. Along with it is "that's my share" for desserts, etc - like if I don't have my fair share there is something wrong with the universe. Whether I love the food or not, am hungry or not.
I am finding the more I force myself to leave even one bite behind the easier it gets to let go of some of that. Sometimes it's a VERY little bite I leave, however!
Last edited by sarahinparis; 12-10-2007 at 12:18 PM.
Well there are two ways to have the scarcity mentality. One being as you described and the other to not eat much of the thing at all and to try with almost a reverence, to save it and make it last as long as possible.
That's what I began to do when I bought a carton of Molasses Tipsycake ice cream from the health food store. It was 1. expensive 2. made from goat milk - YAY! 3. not as sweet as regular ice cream 4. tasted like molasses. WOW, it was by far the best ice cream I had ever had in my entire life. And I don't eat sweets! I don't like sweets! I guess there are exceptions though. I had two wonderful bites and put it back in the freezer. Then, I brought it over to a friend's house the weekend of thanksgiving. What a big mistake. He ate it ALL. No more Molasses Tipsycake. I went back to the health food store to get more. No more Molasses Tipsycake. I went back the following week and then just last Saturday. No more Molasses Tipsycake.
There must be a moral to the story here. But I'm not sure what it is. In any case, I didn't have to be concerned about eating too much Molasses Tipsycake.
Oh, Jo, you are so funny. Maybe you should google molasses tipsy cake. ha! I know that scarcity mentality very well with 10 kids and a husband to compete with. Patty, could you tell us about your successful day? I think it was yesterday. It's good to hear how IE works in the life of a real person. By the way, I haven't been very successful lately.
I gues we have all had our experiences with scarcity mentality. I have actually asked people to remove a food we were all snacking on because I knew if they didn't that I was going to eat it all.
I have actually had 2 good days now counting today. After all the years of not eating breakfast as a child and thinking that was how I wanted to do now, I discovered that I actually love eating breakfast which is oatmeal with some kind of frozen berries and flavored low-calorie yogurt. I use Fit & Lite because it has 0 fat, 0 added sugar & 40 calories. Just my preference. There are some yoplait flavors that I like that I might try some time. I am actually happy eating this everyday and actually look forward to it.
DH likes to eat the main meal between 2 & 3 in the afternoon. Yesterday I had a salad with pulled pork and only enough BBQ sauce to color it. Today was tacos which I take mine and make it into a taco salad. Later in the day if I am hungry I might have another salad and put it on WW tortilla or make me a sandwich. I have taken cottage cheese and made a little dessert out of it by using non-sweetened cocoa and sweetner. Tonight I took a small helping of peanut butter and added a small amount of maple syrup just to flavor it and made me a WW PB sandwich. The strange thing is I have eaten a lot less today than yesterday. Seems I am starting to get satisfied with what I eat. Oh sometimes I eat a handful of nuts for a snack. I had a friend back in TX who ate only 1 bite of something every hour to lose weight. The only time he actually sat down to eat a meal was when we all ate together our went out to eat after our Bible Study meeting. So I figure if I eat the oatmeal for breakfast, eat our main meal early afternoon and then just snack every few hours as needed/desired but be sure they are snacks and not full blown meals that I will not be hungry and I will be more in control of what I'm doing. I've resolved in my mind (today) that if I only lose on average a lb a week that at least I will have 50 lbs gone by this time next year and I'll be healthy. I changed my goal to a more realistic goal for my age etc to 130 lbs although DH thinks I would look good at 150 lbs. We will see how that goes. I have time to decide that later.
Any way that is what I've been doing yesterday and today. Try to make most of my choices healthy some times I have a little something I want, but that is how IE works. Talked to some of the people over at Whole Foods Lifestyle and a lot of things we choose to eat is just that our personal choice. I got the impression that some of them may use the IE principles with their WFL.
Just don't get discouraged. We may not be perfect all the time, but as Sara's signature says it is about Progress, not Perfection. I like that and hope I can remember it.
I'm very much liking that idea of having a little bit of whatever we want.
It feels so weird to be trying to lose weight and yet "allowed" to eat absolutely anything. The strange thing is that it's not just cake and cookies that you want with this thinking.
I too love a good oatmeal breakfast. Yum. I have been making muesli the last few days and find it's even better.
Today I was running errands around lunchtime and thought I could have absolutely anything for lunch - what did I want. I made myself figure out what I wanted before I stopped -- I'm sure before I'd have just grabbed something at the first place I passed. Or in "dieting" mode would have searched out a salad. I went to a japanese noodle place and had a big bowl of ramen soup with a side of stir-fried veggies. I left about 1/4 of the ramen and didn't touch the rice, ate all the veggies. It's so liberating to feel not only could I have that, but I can have it again if I want it, so no need to go crazy.
By the way, that molasses ice cream sounds really good. I've never had goat's milk ice cream, but I love goat's cheese, and my favorite yogurt is sheep, not cow's milk, so I'd be game to try it...
Kathleen. I did something really rare tonight......I left food on my plate!!! Maybe I am learning something. My mom was really big on not wasting food. I even made an apple salad tonight so I could use up my last very ripe banana! It's just a hard habit to break. My family gave me a hard time because we have always taught the kids not to be wasteful. I didn't mind. I just couldn't eat another bite!!
I really need to start paying attention to my body. We are in the middle of an ice storm. Many have lost power. Ours was out for awhile but we have been fortunate in having power most of the time. The problem being i have reverted back to my comfort foods. -- Biscuits and Gravy, Chicken Nuggets, Mashed Potato, Hot Chocolate, Just Plain Chocolate,... anyway you get the picture. I have not even been all that hungry just anxious and trying not to think of my anxieties. I am going to try to make a clean start tomorrow. Have any of you ladies had to deal with a problem of very low self-esteem or maybe even non existant self-esteem? I know that part of this eating plan is to not put yourself down or judge but i do it constantly.
Carol - good job on leaving food. This is something I'm working on. I've always cleaned my plate, and it wasn't even a rule at my house growing up. I have a hard time not finishing something, even if I don't love it. Now I try to set apart a portion I wont eat at lunch and at dinner. I don't always make it, but I try. I'm probably at 60% right now. I think it's an important behavior to have.
CherryAutumn - I struggle w self esteem issues constantly. I suspect that I always will. I've made big progress, had big backslides, and am considerably farther along today than I was in the past. One thing that has helped me progress a little is having clear and written goals for the week that are achievable (no 7 days of exercise type things). And then meeting those goals, setting new ones. Seeing that I can do it, have done it, even in just achieving baby steps helps me see I'm capable of change, of accomplishment.
Hello all!
Kathleen, welcome!
CherryAutumn, I heard about the ice storms and power losses on the news. Hope all's getting better there.
The thing about dieting is that it is fraught with opportunities to fail, i.e., opportunities for self-flagellation and subsequent low self esteem. THat's why I like IE so much. I fail so much at dieting, that it contributes to my low self esteem, and it's a vicious cycle. So... it's a learning experience, honestly, and instead of repeating those old tapes in your head that say, "I'm a failure at this" play some new tapes like, "Mmm this tastes good and I will enjoy a bite, but I control the food; the food does not control me. I control my diet; a diet does not control me." Or something. Each of us really has to find what clicks, and keep repeating it, especially when we least feel it.
I remember reading the Weigh Down, and she uses the verse, "He must become greater; I must become less."
Last edited by mom2mollie; 12-12-2007 at 09:41 AM.
You know over the last few years, I haven't even taken the time out to discover what foods I actually like. Everything I "love" has been deep-fried, covered in milk chocolate or dripping with fat. Why is that? Because I was always operating under the "scarcity syndrome"...like I knew there was a diet in my future, whenever I could get myself "under control". So, I ate and ate and ate the worse things I could find for that lifetime of controlled eating that I believed was just around the corner.
I even sat down and figured out a calorie count system for myself and what I could and couldn't eat over the last few days. I waste so many hours doing this kind of planning, even when I know it drives me crazy to even attempt counting or limiting myself to anything. I last a few hours at the most before I am ready to binge!
I don't know if the future holds a me that is under 200 pounds or not, but I do know that I am done beating myself up over my appetite and that I am ready to discover what I really do love.
This has been my first day of Whole Foods Lifestyle w/IE thinking and it has been a very good and successful day.
Kathleen. I did something really rare tonight......I left food on my plate!!! Maybe I am learning something. My mom was really big on not wasting food. I even made an apple salad tonight so I could use up my last very ripe banana! It's just a hard habit to break. My family gave me a hard time because we have always taught the kids not to be wasteful. I didn't mind. I just couldn't eat another bite!!
