Tiger, those pics of your boys are great! Esp the one of them walking out to the stop. You can tell that they're acting like it's no big deal...

Kayla, watch out for that Ryan. Now that you're Miss Entrepeneur he's back on the scene, after he disappointed you before?? I don't think so.

Jo, packing, arrrrrgh! Haven't begun yet. Of course I'm not going NEARLY as far away as you...

Tiffany, girl I hope your back gets better soon!!

Dyan, Woa! 14 more sticks! I know what you're saying about picking yourself up, dusting off and getting back on the journey. It's hard. I'm at that stage now (maybe it's that 3 month thing?) Like Semo said - when I'm good I'm like gold - when I'm bad... I don't feel like I've totally lost control lately which is good. But I sort of wish I had that "almost obsessive" mental edge about it. It disappeared! Without it, it's easy to screw up small and frequently which ends up blowing my plan. But I also think that learning to deal with a WL regimen without the power of all that Angst may help me in the long run. So I'm trying to think of this as another level and learn to live up to my commitments when I'm not holding a gun to my head, so to speak....

*Grumble* Just typed up a big post and tried to attach a picture and it killed my entire post. Doncha' just hate that?

It was all about whatever found it necessary to invent and s. Oh, I'm just mad at myself at the moment.

Anyhoo, I'm experimentin'. If this works this time, Tiffany, it's for you....

I think we all need to take a moment and "reflect" so to speak. We need to realize that this is not a "race". That this is indeed a lifestyle change. There really is no finish line. Once we hit goal, we still have to maintain it.....and that's a whole nother journey....

Sometimes we need to really think about how far we've come. Not how long it took us, or how little or much we've lost, but that we've made a change. Instead of gaining weight, we are losing and or maintaining it. Which is an accomplishment within it's self.

I get discouraged when the scale doesn't seem to move, but I keep going. I don't want to slip back into my old ways and not exercise, but now I seem to be at that point where I can't. If I don't exercise I feel as though I'm missing something, and I just feel like crap for the rest of the evening. I NEVER thought I could or would feel that way, again. When I lost 40 lbs in the past, I was a steppin fool and felt pretty much like I do now. And you know what? It feels good .

Hey hey hey!!!

so i must have missed something......WHERE are you going jello???

Cafe, it was GREG that let me down before...ryan is my friend from camp that is 19 and like a big bro to me! speaking of GREG.......i was in boston pizza with the girls last night for girls night out and IN WALKS GREG with another girl! he like....found her while i was out of town.....he didnt even have the decency to tell me he was no longer interested.....and this may sound petty but i just dont care! SHE WAS UGLIER THAN ME!!!!! i know that sounds just terrible but seriously.......im starting to think there is something really wrong with me.

My mom cried when i went to kindergarten......lol....its kinda funny when youre going into grade 10 and you think about your mother crying when you went to kindergarten...seems like forever ago! lifes too short!!!!!!

My little sister is coming to my school this year....she is going into grade 7 and im going into grade 10 so i have the next 3 years of being in the same school as her to look forward to! crazy!!!


anyways...im going to go get my schedual for this semester and then im headed to the gym i think.......talk to you all later!!!!

luv
Kayla

Hhheeelllooo........Hhheellooo.....
Was that an echo?

Hhhmmm......
Where's all my peeps go?

How dare ya'll have lives, without me! Hmph

Hehe....

I'm bored silly and need someone to talk to. I guess, if I wasn't stuck at work, I'd be off doing other things too. I guess I'll check in with ya'll in a bit

Heelllooo!
I've been outside pulling a few weeds. I stayed clear of the suspected poison itch areas. DH ran the weedeater this past weekend...somehow it leaves more of a mess. Mess for me. Broom'n and rake'n. I stayed out as long as I could. Sweat drip'n off my sunglasses. Whew, 'nuff for me.

Are you sit'n down...
I EXERCISED! Holy I tried the beginners yoga from the library, finally. I just might have to buy it. Rodney Yee, or whatever his name is, is pretty peaceful and easy to follow.

Little one had a great first day of school. I was the first car in line for pick-up.

It's gonna be a 3 pointer for me today...water done, exercise done, food under control...all I gotta do is hold it together for the rest of the day. hmmm, duct tape ya think?

Hi girls!!!
well...if this works....like im thinking it should.....there SHOULD be a picture of me and mr. entrepreneur here when we were getting our awards.....its not the greatest picture but you get the idea! hope you like it...and dont think im TOO ugly!!
if it doesnt work and you WANT to see the pic then drop me a line and ill e-mail it to you!!!
luv
Kayla

([email protected])

yah so it didnt work! send me your e-mail addresses if you want to see the pictures!!!!

Morning all..........

I've been MIA lately, had to take an unexpected trip to Cleveland, OH to get my son, he was having trouble getting home so I flew up there, rented a car and drove to Springboro, PA where he was. I was too tired to post last night when we got home and just kinda quickly skimmed over all your posts.

Hope everbody is doing OK, talk to you all later today.

LJ

Happy Hump Day! Ya know, I thought vacations were supposed to be about relaxing and happy things... : Me, I worry too much. Was up late last night deciding on clothes and packing up dog food, leash, etc. to take up to mom and dad's with Watson. This morning I found myself stressing out over which pants to wear to work because I have to have certain ones clean for packing, etc. Yes, I worry entirely too much about stupid things! Wish I could be more like Rich with his "oh, I'll buy some pajamas and pack when I get home on Thursday night..." kind of attitude.

OK, as of this moment, I'm not going to stress ... much.

Huntress, how'd you like Cleveland!? Hope you didn't have to stay too long. When you're there, it just seems like too long.

I apologize to anyone who's fond of Cleveland. My brother used to live near there before moving to the Dayton area and I visited a few times. Not exactly a "happening" town.

Tiger, let me know how you like that yoga tape. I've been thinking about trying a yoga class at the gym but I'm thinking maybe a video tape is the way to go for me. That way I can do it any time I want.

Say, where's Ms. Tiffany!? It's so strange not to have several posts from her when I come in. Hm, falling down on the job, oh great and fearless leader!! I'm just kidding of course. How'd you like that? Can't even take a moment to yourself with me around!

Had a call this morning from my friend in Scotland. Just checking in to make sure everything's set. I told her I was stressing out but she assured me it'd all be OK. Pretty funny. She asked me if there were any particular foods we didn't care for or would rather not eat.

.... ... you talkin' to ME!?!?!

I said no. Well, it IS a vacation after all.

Guess I'd better go. Time to do some work. Later!

Huntress ~ Glad your back. I was wondering why you couldn't come out and play .

Jo~ So I take it you leave Friday. I hate to say this, but someone's got to worry. If you didn't then nothing would get done the "right" way, and by that I mean OUR (we, the women) way. Okay, so DH and I were taking Cheyenne and Lucas to the Children's Discovery museum and had asked my mom to watch Kaleigha (5 months old). I ask DH to pack her diaper bag, as I was still getting stuff together, you know, snacks for the kids etc.... Well, after a long day, I call my mom and asked her if she needed anything from the grocery store. She tells me that DH had packed 2 WHOLE diapers and 1, count 'em 1 bottle!! We were gone half the friggin day! . I had to ask him the was he thinking. gggrrrrrr

Tiff ~ come out, come out, where ever you are.....

Tiger ~ Congrats, on a 3 pointer day!

Kayla ~ I would love to see your pic. My email address is: [email protected]

Oh yeah.....Goooodddd MMoorrnniinngg Ladies
I'm not quite a wake yet . So DH is flying to Los Angeles next Thursday for a job interview. I am having mixed feelings about it. I do want him to get the job, because he is really unhappy where he's at. L.A. is a little over 300 miles from where we live now. Driving can take anywhere from 5-8 hours, depending on traffic and speed. It's about an hour flight. So anyway, the company where he's interviewing has already sent him a plane ticket and got him a rent a car. We've talked briefly about if he gets the job. I told him that if he gets it, I'm not going to go down there right away. I have a job and am making pretty good money. I'm a contractor and my contract is up in November. I am hoping that they will extend it until May of next year. But with all the lay offs, who knows. So I told him that I want to stay here as long as I have a job. I refuse to move with no money in the bank. Our original plan was to move sometime early next year. We would have some money in savings and would have our tax refund. As far as I'm concerned, I'm sticking to the plan. I called one of best friends and asked her if she wanted to come be my roommate, if/when DH goes to L.A. I need someone to watch Lucas and Kaleigha, while I'm at work. I can't pay her (she's currently on long term disability), but told her that she wouldn't have to worry about rent, food, phone, etc.... I'll try to keep ya'll posted on that front. The ironic thing is that Tiffany (the ex), just told DH that her new boy (the boyfriend), got a job offer in L.A. and that they will probably be moving there! Just when I thought it was safe........wwwwaaaahhhhh .

Okay, better go check on some work stuff. Will check in later Taters.....

Jello - how far is Springboro from where you live? I remembered that someone from here lived in PA but couldn't remember who. Have a great trip! I get stressed for a least a week before a trip. I know you'll have a great time, just go with the flow, if you forget anything you can always buy it when you get there.

I missed you all, felt like I was gone for a week and it was only 24 hrs. I didn't see much of Cleveland, got there at 12:00 in the morning, drove to Spingboro in the dark and drove back through Cleveland in a hurry to get back for my flight. Was too tired to care, in 48 hours I'd had only 6 hours of sleep.

Gotta go, lot's to do today

LJ

Man, you guys need to LIVEN it up a little. For Pete's sake.

Well, Huntress, glad to see you back, I wondered where you were.

Jo, you are just like me, I make lists of what to take, and then obsess over it for days in case I get somewhere and realize that I completely forgot to pack underwear or something.

Well, Miss Kayla, thank you for emailing me the picture, you look like you were the belle of the ball. Completely happy and enjoying yourself! Good for you!!!

I had a ROTTEN day yesterday, I have not eaten like that since May. I literally binged. I don't know why. I couldn't SHOVE enough food in my face.

A Lean Cuisine
2 servings of rice cakes
A can of Tuna
Canned Tomatoes
A chicken sandwich from Arbys
A large order of Mozzarella sticks from Arbys
3 Cheesecake bars
2 egg rolls
An order or pepper steak with onions
A rice paddy full of rice

As you can see, I started out healthy and then went to **** in a handbasket. I had a job interview, but didn't really feel stressed. Actually, I think I know what might have done it. Yesterday, my step daughter wanted Arbys. I said fine, she got the Mozzarella sticks and I drove over to Subway and got a veggie sub. Great restraint on my part. BUT...I ate her one remaining cheese stick, and it triggered me. I thought about it all night and all yesterday morning. I was literally craving it. So, instead of getting a small order and having a salad or something with it, I went completely off the wagon. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even see the wagon anymore. Just the dust it left behind.

Also, it should go without saying, that I had NO water and NO exercise. I didn't want to and NO ONE was gonna make me.

So, what happened this morning? I woke up and felt like crap...BUT I also felt like I remember now why I wanted to change the way I eat. I don't like feeling like I do when I binge like that. I feel so out of control and weak. Soooo...I had officially hit 232 yesterday morning, a total loss of 33 pounds, and after all that food yesterday, I probably set myself back about 2 weeks. How sad is that, to not care enough about yourself to take care of yourself the way you should?

So, with that said and another valuable lesson behind me, I am picking myself up, dusting off and running after that wagon.

This is not perfection, this whole lifestyle change is trial and error and mistakes and success. Every single one of us have our ups and downs, but what makes us GREAT, is that we keep going. Will it take longer to get to goal, with the occasionaly mistakes? Sure, but will we get there? Heck yes, and we will be so much smarter and better for the struggles that we have endured.

I wanted to tell you all, that I am SO proud of all of us. Every single one of us. For being courageous enough to come here and tell our stories, for baring our souls to strangers (who have become like family now) for enduring the pain and anguish that only overweight people can understand. And for finally deciding that we wanted a better life for ourselves and our loved ones and doing something about it.

I was ashamed yesterday and didn't feel like coming here and having to admit what I was doing. Besides, I would have felt like a real jerk coming here and listening to how well everyone was doing with my cheesecake bar in one hand and the eggroll in the other. So, I stayed away and this morning I have re-grouped.

So....moving on.

Tig, Yoga is nice, I bought a tape not too long ago and thought, HA this won't be much of a workout....WAS I EVER WRONG?!!! But, you feel peaceful and serene when you are finished. I would like to try out the Pilates. Wow too on your yardwork. I am jealous. There is so much I should/could be doing outside. LOL....You aren't too far away, you can come here and work in my yard too.

Cafe, you are too right about the obsessive edge. It is great in the beginning, but then eventually we need to learn to just do it, even without the edge. This is part of our learning experience and re-training ourselves after SO much time. I suspect it will take us a while to get it down!

Ok, I have rambled enough. SEMO, where are you?
Talk to you all later,
Tiffany

Oh yeah, there was a chocolate cupcake and another eggroll involved in yesterday's food attack.

Mornin Tiff,

Semo is at her corporate office for a few days.

I'm so glad that you've regrouped. I want so much for all of us to succeed in this journey of ours. The thought that one of us has fallen off the wagon and doesn't want to come and hop back on, is very scary. In the short time that I've been with this group, I have grown to care about each of you. You are like family. ****, I talk to ya'll more than some of my own family. Time for a .

Okay, okay....'nough of that sappy stuff!!

What's goin on with everybody? Yesterday I was so tempted NOT to exercise. I hadn't eaten all day and all I could like about was potstickers. They were calling my name, through the freezer. I wanted them, I wanted to hug each and everyone of them before I devoured it. I kept thinking exercise, smexercise....I need my pppoootttssttiicckkeerrsss. Kinda like and his :donut: 's. With the drool and everything. Even now, I need to wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth. But, I thought about it and said to my self "Self, it's only 20 minutes. Those evil things in the freezer will still be there when your done doing your step." and lo and behold I did it! Got in my 20 minutes, went to pick up DD from preschool and let me tell you....as soon as my feet hit the floor I was off and running towards the kitchen. I kid you not, I ate 10 of them!!! They were so good and it they were only 560 calories for all 10. guess what I'm having again for dinner. I swear when I get a craving, I get a craving.....