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Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 02-28-2006, 10:29 PM   #1
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This is a new support group where we WILL confess (sometimes in explicit detail) our struggles and triumphs with compulsive overeating/binge eating/bulimia and any other food control problems and issues. All are welcome.

A confession: I went to a buffet today and ate two heaping platefuls of chinese, mexican, and italian food. I also spent a lot of time at the dessert buffet. And then a few hours later, I ate Cold Stone Creamery ice cream.

I'm done with this binge episode. I'm anxious for the arrival of March to begin with a new slate.

I'm setting a mini goal of NO bingeing for 2 weeks (which is a record for me) The longest I've gone without bingeing has been 6 days.

I think we should all set an Ides of March goal. Mine is NO bingeing. Not so much about weight loss, but it's a control goal.
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Old 02-28-2006, 10:42 PM   #2
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My heart goes out to you, Harpo - I've been there and now the feelings of guilt, shame and physical pain associated with binge eating. I applaud your honesty on the subject and I think it's important to share our struggles with this.

I've been suffering from binge eating disorder for years, and have been binge-free since January. What's helped me is identifying my trigger foods (all products with refined sugars - specifically all baked goods including cakes, candies, cookies, pies and also ice cream) and eliminating them completely from my diet. Someone on 3FC said (and it's worth quoting) it's easier to say no to the first cookie than the second.

Another important step for me has been to adequately nourish my body with regard to my activity level. When I'm too strict and rigid with my eating (usually on weekdays), I set myself up for a free-for-all on the weekends. To combat this, I've been careful to identify what I'm really hungry for and eat that (and only that!) Proteins and fats have been a big help.

I'll be checking in often (so long as this thread is going) to check in and offer support as needed. Please be kind to yourself - the cycle of bingeing and restricting is so debilitating mentally and physically.

Big hugs and best of luck!
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Old 02-28-2006, 11:07 PM   #3
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Thanks HungryMonkey!

My trigger foods are also refined sugar goodies and I thought I had solved the problem by switching to a low carb diet, but I only lasted 6 days on it. It did elminate daily cravings, but the compulsion I have to overeat my trigger foods is so overwhelming. I've tried both ways: complete restriction and small allowances. Neither has worked. Before I ate one twizzler and one small piece of chocolate every day and I still fell into binge episodes. And I'm in the throes of another episode after completely restricting all sugar for a week. I don't know what to do. I don't know if there is any kind of happy medium between nothing and under-indulgence. And over-indulgence is giving into my addiction.

I've learned that just having a little doesn't work. And having none doesn't work either. It's always got to be an over-indulgence to satiate whaterver emptiness I have inside of me. I need a level of satisfaction that isn't destructive to my diet, and I don't know if one exists.

I'm addicted to food and it's pure torture being addicted to food. A cocaine addict never has to see cocaine again in his life. We not only have to see our addiction, we HAVE to under-indulge it every day for the rest of our lives. Would the coke addict really be successful if he had to do one line of coke a day? My mom had a rule for any relatives that came into our house for visits: ABSOLUTELY no alcohol allowed, because my dad is a recovering alcoholic. She would have said, "Why the **** are you bringing alcohol into this house, we have a recovering alcoholic here?" Has anyone once every said: "What the **** are you doing bringing food into this house, we have a compulsive overeater here!!" No, that never happens, because food is the only addictive substance that is necessary for the addicts' survival. I'd honestly rather be addicted to heroin. At least I wouldn't have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

Sorry for the rant, but this is SO frustrating!!
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Old 02-28-2006, 11:34 PM   #4
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thats so weird bc im stuck in a binge cycle and ive tried eating little, ive tried eating none neither helps. well here went my day.... 1 thomas bagel , 2 mrs fields cookies, pbj sandwich, 2 cupcakes 4 sl pizza blotted, 1 pkg reeses and a big bowl of edys icecream prob bout 2 cups.

im sorry if im not supposed to post stuff like that here... honestly lately i feel like thats all i hear round here dont post this dont post that(not by mods btw)

anyway, im sorry for anyone stuck in the same cycle as me.....
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Old 03-01-2006, 01:49 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by andreaphilip3
thats so weird bc im stuck in a binge cycle and ive tried eating little, ive tried eating none neither helps. well here went my day.... 1 thomas bagel , 2 mrs fields cookies, pbj sandwich, 2 cupcakes 4 sl pizza blotted, 1 pkg reeses and a big bowl of edys icecream prob bout 2 cups.

im sorry if im not supposed to post stuff like that here... honestly lately i feel like thats all i hear round here dont post this dont post that(not by mods btw)

anyway, im sorry for anyone stuck in the same cycle as me.....
I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't find any kind of compromise. Total and semi-restriction don't work. You know how everyone says "don't deprive yourself of your favorite foods when you are on a diet; consume them in moderation?" Well, moderation doesn't exist for binge eaters. Moderation doesn't satisfy us. And of course deprivation doesn't work. So what do we do when moderation AND deprivation don't work for us? What's left?

I think ellis will be okay with this thread, I did warn everybody that we'd be confessing our binges. ellis said we could start another thread. I think my warning is clear.

Your binges sound a lot like mine: mostly sweets. The only reason I really eat anything else with them because I usually say: "Well I'm ruining today anyway, I might as well have a good meal along with my deserts . . . "

I wrote out my food plan tomorrow and I should be on target. I'm always good with my diet for 5 days (as you can see my diet has been successful), and then I slip into a binge episode. Sometimes the episode is one big meal and then it's over. But sometimes, it turns into a 3 or 4 day binge fest (like right now). If I wasn't dealing with this problem, I'd probably already be at my goal weight. I always say, I've lost over 100 pounds, but I've also had to lose probably 40-50 lbs TWICE.

It's an awful cycle, and I also empathize with anyone also struggling.
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Old 03-01-2006, 08:46 AM   #6
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I do appreciate you starting this thread, Harpo. I'm a little stressed lately, and I woke up this morning thinking, "Darn! I have to deal with that thread problem."
Thank, hon. And yes, your warning is nice and clear.

Andrea, I'm sorry your first thread didn't work out. It's so difficult to satisfy everyone... we all have such differing personalities. ie: Some people are looking for some stern advice, while others simply need a hug. Here's one for you, sweetie...


If it's okay with you, I may join you here on occasion.

I wish everyone the very best in their weight loss efforts.
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Old 03-01-2006, 12:16 PM   #7
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I am recovered(ing, depending on the day) from ED/NOS, which i suffered from between the ages of 13 and 18, which included both extreme periods of restriction, compulsive exercise, and binge eating. If any of you need to talk i'm here. Apparently today i sorta regressed and ate a whole jar of peanut butter, straight, within an hour and a half of buying. *hugs around*
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Old 03-01-2006, 12:45 PM   #8
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I see everyone here focussing heavily on the food - sugar vs. no sugar, small amounts vs. none, but what I don't see is focus on the reasons and feelings behind the binges. I suffered for years from binge eating disorder, and although I still struggle, I will say that binge eating is NOT about the food. Everyone's reasons for bingeing vary, but it stems from deep hurt and emotions on the inside. Once you can work on the inside and what's at the root of your binges, then a lot of these feelings of powerlessness around food will no longer be an issue. I honestly didn't believe this was possible, thinking I'd never be able to stop with just one cookie...but when I'm not using food as a drug or as a way to numb me, then eating one cookie, when I truly want it, is a relatively easy task. It's truly about working on your relationship to food and not using it inappropriately. And keep in mind that it doesn't happen over night. I would strongly advise against goals like "no bingeing for a month." First, once you break that, it's all over the binge cycles will continue with a vengence. Secondly, my binges didn't just stop suddenly. They became less frequent and less severe. Focus on reducing the frequency with which you binge and the amount you eat each time. For me, once I stopped the obsession with food and lived my life, I realized one day that it had been months since my last binge. I still used food inappropriately, often searching for treats for an afternoon "fix" and I am working on making those less frequent too.

I know it's hard, but I honestly don't know anyone whose been successful long term with conquering binge eating who hasn't gotten past the reality that it isn't about the food and that even though certain foods seem to have a power over us, we do control what we eat. I strongly reccommend therapy as well.
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:42 PM   #9
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Hibiscus, I was just thinking about that as I read through the posts... Does anyone else have emotional triggers rather than food triggers? Or is it really an emotional trigger but you accidentally relate it to some specific thing you ate?

For me it's all about the emotion. There's no particular type of food that will set me off. When I was younger I used to pride myself on not showing any real emotion. I was all perky, all the time. I was not allowed to be sad, frustrated, or angry. No one EVER saw me cry, though I did that a lot. That came from never want my stepfather to see that he had hurt my feelings or scared me - if I showed him how upset I was, that meant he won, somehow. So I would say that I had already been hurt so much that nothing could ever hurt me again, I was numb. Well, I wasn't numb, I was stuffing. I stuffed all my emotions away and followed it with mounds of food to keep it down and hidden.

So, if I am bored, or, more specifically, don't have something useful to do to keep me busy, I will graze, slowly, all day long on whatever I can find until I am stuffed and sick. If I am depressed or blue I will specifically go for sweets. I will tear the house apart looking for something or combine bizarre things just to get that sweet. But if I'm hurt or angry - if I want to cry - then Katie bar the door because I am unstoppable. I am SO not allowed to be angry for some reason. I don't want to cook or even think about it; I usually snack hard when I get home, then hit a restaurant and get appetizers, a whole loaf or two of bread, peanuts, a full meal, and then dessert. So far I have refrained from drinking alcohol when I do this, but for some reason I always announce that intention before we go, like, hey let's go get dinner out, I need a drink.

Well, I didn't mean to come in and dump all of my crap... but does that sound familiar to anyone else? I know we're all emotional eaters to some extent, that's why we're here at 3FC to begin with, but is emotion triggering an actual binge for you?

Thanks,

Lala
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:55 PM   #10
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Hibiscus and Lala, I can relate. I suffer badly from depression, and when I'm down I crave carbs/sugar. I'll curl up in my bed with a book and eat four bowls of cereal or 12 slices of toast or a big bag of chips plus a bag of Bridge Mixture.
For some strange reason, I DON'T eat when I'm angry. I feel very "in control", and I clean my house like a crazy person.

Therapy has helped somewhat, but the ready availability of food as a coping mechanism makes binging a hard habit to break.
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Old 03-01-2006, 05:16 PM   #11
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I am not an emotional eater, I don't eat when I'm upset or angry, I cry and NEVER have turn to food. I crawl into bed and usually do some major self-contemplation. That's why I'm so lost about WHY exactly I binge. I know I'm not trying to satiate the physical appetite with a binge, but I can't pinpoint my what is it that is empty inside of me that I'm trying to fill up with food. It's not an emotion (well sometimes it's complacency, because I've been doing so well on my diet that triggers an all out binge, and I say 'I deserve one cookie, it won't hurt')

I do believe the only way I can conquer this is with professional counseling. But I'm terrified of the aspect of learning the reason behind this. For now, it's been buried and I fear it may just be mentally healthier for repressed feelings to remain unknown. I think the reason behind this is going to be too much for me to handle.

It's important to me to control the binges. I need to set goals to make them less frequent. They have been since I started my journey. Before I'd binge 5 or 6 days out of the week ALL day long and now I binge only 1-3 days out of the week. That's half of what it was before, and I feel it's a significant improvement.

I'm getting better on my own, but I wish I didn't have to deal with this at all. It makes dieting so much harder.

Thanks everyone!!!
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Old 03-01-2006, 05:47 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by dalai_lala

So, if I am bored, or, more specifically, don't have something useful to do to keep me busy, I will graze, slowly, all day long on whatever I can find until I am stuffed and sick. If I am depressed or blue I will specifically go for sweets. I will tear the house apart looking for something or combine bizarre things just to get that sweet. But if I'm hurt or angry - if I want to cry - then Katie bar the door because I am unstoppable. I am SO not allowed to be angry for some reason. I don't want to cook or even think about it; I usually snack hard when I get home, then hit a restaurant and get appetizers, a whole loaf or two of bread, peanuts, a full meal, and then dessert. So far I have refrained from drinking alcohol when I do this, but for some reason I always announce that intention before we go, like, hey let's go get dinner out, I need a drink.
Lala, I have the same issues with being bored or not having something to specifically fill my time. Monday through Friday I am *usually* very good about eating properly and at reasonable times and amounts. But the weekend comes, and I will eat ALL DAY LONG It isn't even that I'm hungry. I get so angry at myself, because I will feel full, but still say - oh, there is some food in the house; I'd better eat it! And it isn't any specific food either. If I have sweets, I will eat those, but if i don't, I'll make cheese sandwiches, or cereal, or two pounds of strawberries, whatever we have.

I tell myself while I am doing it that I shouldn't, and that I don't need to, continue eating, but I eat it anyhow, and then come monday morning, cry about how I never lose any weight.

I wish I had answers for us, but I can offer support.
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Old 03-01-2006, 07:09 PM   #13
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Harpo, I totally understand what you mean about wanting to know but not really wanting to know. I've been dealing with these issues for a long time and I usually feel like I've worked through most of my garbage, but I get this feeling that there might be just a little more than I don't even know about yet. But I don't want to dig into it right now. The stuff I DO remember is enough to deal with, most of the time, ya know? So, I know what you mean...

Fishwoman, yeah, weekends... For the past couple of weeks though, well, since I joined here, actually (go 3FC!) I have been doing much better with the emotional eating. I am suddenly more aware of "oh, I'm just bored" or "I'm just feeling blue" and being able to distract myself or get some positive attention from my husband instead of heading for the fridge. I haven't had to deal with an anger episode in a while though, so I don't know 'bout that! Anyway, thanks for the support. I can't believe I've never talked to a group of people about compulsive eating and bingeing before. It's been a real surprise for me...

Good luck to you, and to all of us!

-Lala
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Old 03-05-2006, 11:12 AM   #14
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Hi all,

I guess I'm gonna jump right in. I havent binged per se since the beginning of the month. I did however do some emotional eating yesterday, but kept it at that and didn't lose control. I have been writing down everything I eat in detail in a little notebook I keep in my purse at all times. It's been helping alot so far this go round.
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Old 03-05-2006, 11:38 AM   #15
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Welcome mammasita!! I've been binge-free for 4 days!! My record is 6 days, and if I make it to Wednesday, I'll have broken my record!! I'm going to try to set two week binge-free goals. I have an Ides of March goal and when I accomplish that one, I can set an April Fools goal.

Good luck!!!
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