Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 03-05-2006, 11:23 AM   #16  
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Originally Posted by HarpoChicoGroucho
I am not an emotional eater, I don't eat when I'm upset or angry, I cry and NEVER have turn to food. I crawl into bed and usually do some major self-contemplation. That's why I'm so lost about WHY exactly I binge. I know I'm not trying to satiate the physical appetite with a binge, but I can't pinpoint my what is it that is empty inside of me that I'm trying to fill up with food. It's not an emotion (well sometimes it's complacency, because I've been doing so well on my diet that triggers an all out binge, and I say 'I deserve one cookie, it won't hurt')

I do believe the only way I can conquer this is with professional counseling. But I'm terrified of the aspect of learning the reason behind this. For now, it's been buried and I fear it may just be mentally healthier for repressed feelings to remain unknown. I think the reason behind this is going to be too much for me to handle.

It's important to me to control the binges. I need to set goals to make them less frequent. They have been since I started my journey. Before I'd binge 5 or 6 days out of the week ALL day long and now I binge only 1-3 days out of the week. That's half of what it was before, and I feel it's a significant improvement.

I'm getting better on my own, but I wish I didn't have to deal with this at all. It makes dieting so much harder.

Thanks everyone!!!

I totally get that sometimes you can only deal with what is in front of you, and the easiest fix is to just not eat the trigger foods. But, the bottom line is what was said, the root of the binging is emotional, and binge eating and compulsive overeating is from emotions. It sounds to me that you may be using food to stuff those feelings that you don't want to be with...

Just remember no on has ever died from having a feeling and that you are a strong woman that is willing to look at triggers and working it which is just as hard as the emotions.......

You are doing great, do what you can, but honestly the sooner you deal with why the binging occurs (and the truth is that food triggers only feed off of that part of us) you will be so much happier. You won't believe how much energy your spending NOT dealing with the feelings...

I speak this from experience..I am not able to binge right now because I am waiting for surgery and food makes me ill right now, so what am I being forced to be with....Feelings....but my favorite binging is on cookies....I kid that there is a law that says you cannot have an open box of cookies in the house. A lot of my skinny friends binge, they just don't keep binge foods in the house. If I really want cookies, now I go to the bakery part of the store and I buy 3 cookies instead of a box...

My personal belief is that we can't deal with these issues alone, we are meant to share and be supported, that is why this site is so successful. OA and other groups are amazing, and sharing and more than that, hearing others struggles will inspire you and make you see the amazing strong person you are...

good luck to you..

RB
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Old 03-05-2006, 12:54 PM   #17  
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Ahhh, thanks RB. I do feel better sharing and venting. I know no one has ever died from a feeling, but I'm hyper-sensitive and have a hard time dealing with any overwhelming emotions. That's why I'm 23 years old and have never gotten close enough to anyone to ever fall in love with them. I'm terrified to death of being that vunerable to someone and giving them the ability to emotionally devastate me. I know I need counseling of some sort (and not only for the food issues), but I'm scared of that too. I'd be forced to trust someone and I can't imagine doing that. Being open and honest on here is actually a first step for me. I've never told anyone anything about my problems with food before. It is easier than talking to a real person. No one can see me and actually try to hug me or anything. But small bites at first, right?

And I'm doing awesome today, because I'm in an empty house full of tempting foods, and I'm not bingeing!! There's a bag full of chocolate kisses and mini bars and I ate only ONE kiss, and I was able to stop there. Usually when I'm confronted with an empty house, I have a free for all. And there are tons of my favorite foods around, and I'm in complete control.
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Old 03-05-2006, 10:09 PM   #18  
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I totally get it.....your doing a great job, and NONE of it is easy. You deserve to fall madly in love, be adored and have lots of wonderful passionate &*( in your life!! You are very lucky to be dealing with this at your age.....because I have friends in their 40's that haven't even gotten to where you are at........
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Old 03-09-2006, 12:57 PM   #19  
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Hi everyone, I'm a binger (yesterday was 4 packs of swiss cake rolls)
I know a lot of it is emotional, my brother and I both have blocked out our childhoods because they weren't that great. Apparently something happened to me when I was 10 because, according to my mother, I completely changed that year. I was a thin child untill then, but have gained weight ever since then. I can usualy lose 20lbs in a matter of days, but then I stop. Or I go to pizza hut. Or KFC I can eat a 9pc bucket in one sitting...
Anyway, I'm keeping a (mostly accurate) food log for my Dr, on new meds and starting an appetite depressent next week. Any tips to keep me from eating an entire package of french twirls at once?
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Old 03-09-2006, 05:30 PM   #20  
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Welcome LChin. Congratulations on your weight loss so far!! You've already taken the first step and proven to yourself that you can do this! It's hard to figure out our emotional triggers when they are hiding from us, huh? Mine definitely are. You say you can lose 20 pounds and then you stop, but you've lost 21 pounds!! You can't stop now; you've already broken that 20 pound barrier. You can't give up now! You are definitely not alone with your struggles.

Are french twirls like crullers? I eat a whole bag of those. The only advice I can give you is not to buy them? I try to not buy bags or packages of anything sweet, or they it will be gone by the end of the day. I've just celebrated being binge free for a whole week. But I also haven't had to go to the grocery store yet, and it always seems to trigger a binge . . . we'll see.

What I'm doing now (since I'm scared to go into therapy) is working on a peace treaty with myself. I've tried for years to pinpoint the problem, but I can't, so I'm focusing on lessening the frequency and severity of my binges. I've been successful; my binges have decreased from 5-6 days a week to 1-3 times a week (sometimes more and sometimes less). I'm also eating less food with each binge. I actively think, "I'm not stuffing myself into uncomfortableness and I refuse to eat anymore." I've got into a habit of throwing away (or pouring bleach or hydrogen peroxide on) my unused binge foods to keep me from going back to them. I also buy less of my binge foods. (I actually sometimes use a price range: like no more than $2 on binge foods and it really helps) I still can't get over the giant Cadbury or Symphony bars though.

Take care and good luck!!!!!
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Old 03-09-2006, 08:30 PM   #21  
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One way that I justify my binges is that I want to eat any and everything I can to get it out of the way because I intend on starting my "diet" tomorrow.

Just one of my thoughts

On another note, I've been binge free for the month of March thus far.
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Old 03-09-2006, 11:30 PM   #22  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mammasita
One way that I justify my binges is that I want to eat any and everything I can to get it out of the way because I intend on starting my "diet" tomorrow.

Just one of my thoughts

On another note, I've been binge free for the month of March thus far.
I can't tell you how many times I used that justification, mammasita. The first six months of 2005 were spent like that for me. I'd say, "I'm starting my diet on Monday, better get in some farewell eating now." That went on for six months. My 2005 New Year's Resolution was to start a diet, and I kept procrastinating all the way until June 1. And in the meantime, I jumped up a size in clothes and 27 pounds because of my countless "farewell" meals. I was bingeing at least 6 days a week. I'd take my trash out once a week, and when I looked in it, and there would be at least 5 fast food bags. One week I remember counting 11. I ate fast food 11 times in ONE week. And then there were the candy bar wrappers, donut boxes, ice cream containers, pie tins, chip bags, and cookie packages. And every week it was the same excuse, "Well I'm starting my diet Monday, this won't matter and it will probably only take my an extra week to take off the weight I'm gaining" WRONG!! It took more than 2 months! For anyone reading this, DO NOT DO THIS! Change your lifestyle today. I ended up some 27 pounds heavier by doing this.

Mammasita, congratulations on being binge-free!! Me too!! YAY!!! Let's make it through all of March!! I had a victory today by going grocery shopping and buying no binge food! I only bought 2 sugar free marshmallow eggs! A nice 180 calorie snack. Now to make it through Friday: probably my weakest day because I always spend it with my mom and she always likes to go to buffets and such (and she gets away with it: post-menopausal and she eats whatever the **** she wants and doesn't gain an ounce, how fair is that?) When I don't lose it on Friday, I can breeze through the weekend.

Take care everyone and stay strong!!
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Old 03-09-2006, 11:45 PM   #23  
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^^ what a perfect description...."farewell meals". YAY to you too for binge free march!

I'm going home next week to see my parents....the root of my ED...it will without a doubt be a struggle. I need to take it one day at a time though.
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Old 03-10-2006, 08:19 AM   #24  
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Mammasita - congrats on the binge-free March and good luck at your parents place. I am actually going TO Virginia to see my dad, also, next week. Just be brave and remember, we're with you!

Happy Friday everyone!

-Lala
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Old 03-10-2006, 10:04 AM   #25  
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Wow! What an awesome thread!!!! I am a BINGE eater!!! I binge in private though! I do ok at buffets and the dinner table. It's when nobody is looking or I'm alone.......I eat myself sick! It seems to me I like (LOVE) heavy foods. Breads, cakes, poptarts, cookies, CHOCOLATE, etc.......I guess maybe they are easy access....no preperation involved. Hmmmmm. I will elaborate (since that is what this forum is for, right?) on my childhood. I "had" a very trying childhood.......or no childhood at all I could say. I don't remember playing or toys or amusement parks or anything like that. My mom was a single mom, my dad was a "player". They divorced when I was 6 or 7?!?!?! My mom re-married to the step father from ****. Of course she eventually saw his "side", but it took many years. So needless to say after many years of sexual and mental abuse I am who I am today. Let me clear some things up. I was a sad, emotional child, early teenage years were tough too. However I did turn to a "nice boy" at 16 who protected me. I later married him because I felt safe. Later (like 6 years) we started a family. Have two beautiful daughters 18 & 14. And, after 21 years of marriage, divorced. My weight during the 21 years was anywhere from 150# to 290#, I ravishly binge everytime I have an "issue"! Money, stress, work, deaths, job issues, memories of my childhood. My poor husband didn't stand a chance. God Bless him for the 21 years of tolerating me. After the divorce, I met a great guy and after 3 years married. Life is good. My daughters love him, everyone has adjusted and became a family again. I STILL BINGE EAT! I just yesterday, ate a 1# box of CHOCOLATE plus numerous other things in a bored rage. NOTE girls *** I work in a CANDY STORE!!!! The old fashion kind, where they have the glass display cases and they make all their candy. Don't ask! I was an administrave asst. at the police department and got tired of the crap so I changed professions all together. I actually love my little job and think that if I didn't have access to it there, I'd find it somewhere else. Right? Well, thanks everyone for listening and sharing your stories. You girls are awesome.
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Old 03-10-2006, 10:13 AM   #26  
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Jeanne, what a beautiful post! (apart from the binging stuff. heh heh) You sound so positive about things (okay, apart from the binging stuff. ). I love that you appreciate the time you had with your ex, and that you emphasize the good stuff in your life.
I'm having a very "up" day, and your post has made me feel even better...thank you.
Sending you hugs and blessings...

Mammasita, I'll be saying prayers for you for next week. I know how stressful family visits can be.
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Old 03-10-2006, 03:42 PM   #27  
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Jeanne, welcome to our little thread! Thank you for sharing your story. I understand what you mean about heavy foods, and I also binge alone, and that's why I've had this problem for 7 years and no one (except in the cyber world) knows about it. The only reason I have ANY control at buffets is that I'd be embarrassed to let anyone see me eat that much food.

Oh, Jeanne you have my dream job and my worst nightmare of a job all wrapped up into one! I've always wanted to own a candy shop (you know the Willa Wonka childhood fantasy). Luckily, we don't have one in my town, and I have to drive 30 miles to get my favorite gourmet chocolate covered apples (and I do but not since September)

Congratulations on your success so far!! Keep in the fight
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Old 03-10-2006, 06:43 PM   #28  
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I think this was my grossest binge:

Saturday, March 4th -
1/2 small veggie pizza
4 large chicken tenders with BBQ sauce
6 Jalapeño poppers with sauce
2 large McDonald's french fries*
12 oz. diet Coke (ha!)

*accidentally spilled bag getting out of car, picked fries off recently-vacuumed floor, from under seat, from seat tracks... put back in bag. Noticed some were rather gritty or fuzzy BUT ATE ANYWAY!

Not shockingly, purged afterwards. Ugh!!!

Well, at least I'm not so into McDonald's fries anymore.
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Old 03-10-2006, 11:10 PM   #29  
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Joining in... I had just had another "farewell meal/binge", and one of my stranger ones, I must admit...

frozen corn
mac n cheese
meatballs
applesauce
cheese puffs

Now I feel disgusting... If I really want to kid myself (which I will) I can tell myself that I'm "carbo-loading" so I can do a great workout in the morning... I'll keep you posted

I really want to be good, but I think I'm just really bored... ugh. How many times can I tell myself that this is the last binge???
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Old 03-11-2006, 03:33 AM   #30  
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NOOOOO! 9 days binge-free and then I ruined it tonight!!! I ate 4 chocolate pudding cups, a bag of popcorn, french fries, a honey bun, 6 mini granola bars, doritos, peanut butter m&m's, 3 cinnamon graham crackers, and a can of regular Coke. Why, oh why did I do this? I had to babysit my 2 nephews and niece tonight, and my sister keeps her house filled to the brim with junk. I planned for this: I brought my yogurt and my diet Shasta and was all ready. And then I saw an open bag of peanut butter m&m's and couldn't resist. I snacked all night and then came home and binged.

This is a one time ordeal!!! I'm not letting it go into a 3 or 4 day binge fest. It WILL not happen. I'm back on plan tomorrow. I was doing so good

Ughhh, I'm so disgusted with myself.

Why did that bag of peanut butter m&m's trigger me? I don't EVEN care for them. It would be different if it had been cheesecake or apple pie, but it wasn't. And I was happy. I was having a great time playing with the kids. They were happy and getting along like gangbusters. No stress, no emotion, and yet a binge was triggered. WHY? What in the **** in my mind that is so deeply suppressed and mysterious? I've always considered myself an incredibly intuitive person, but I guess I'm not. I know so much about everything around me and so little about what's floating around inside my head. My head is like a overgrown gnarled forest and I haven't begun to hack my through it (I don't even know if I should use a saw or a machete) I couldn't imagine what sort of beady-eyed creatures are hanging around in there.

Sorry for the metaphor! I'm not crazy, I'm a writer! (Okay, I'm still crazy)
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