[MaryContrary]

Thanks to all for feedback on whether or not thoughts of maintenance as a way to handle this stressful period are sabotaging or healthy.

I think my concern does stem from the fact that I would probably let this thought be a green-card for giving in to all of my stress-eating. But I like the idea proposed by several members that I keep practicing my Beck skills and just not worry about the scale. And the fact is that I haven't been practicing them to the extent that I should.

Credits (yesterday): worked out (and added a mile of interval); shared some unhealthy food (rather than sneaking about it); resisted late-night snacking; checked in here.

Goals: find my food journal (?!) and record what I've eaten; make a plan for tomorrow; keep my blinders on with stressful emotional situations; check back in with my dissertation plan; exercise

Thanks again for listening. One day I hope to have time for personals!

[4EverLearning]

Thank you so much for the welcomes! Like Val said, she and I are accustomed to just posting to each other, so it will be a different experience for me to participate in a large group, but one that I welcome. I really appreciate the combined wisdom and experience represented in this group. If two heads are better than one, then twenty or thirty or forty must be even better still, right?

BillBlueEyes, I am tickled beyond words to see that you have successfully maintained your weight loss for so long. Every story like that bolsters my hope and confidence. Did you use the Beck skills throughout your journey, or, like me, did you discover her later?

MaryContrary, you are the one juggling the dual demands of a dissertation and being on the job market, right? I remember those days oh-so-well, although they are long in the past for me. Writing a dissertation is such an "exquisite" blend of tedium and torture. To be dieting at the same time would be daunting, to be sure. But don't let the stress in your life be an excuse for not doing what you know you need to do to take care of yourself! What field are you in, and what kind of job are you looking for?

pamatga, I so identified with your post about your mother and your inability to win her approval. I could have written that myself. In fact I think that that was the core issue in my overeating. I achieved a good degree of resolution and closure with my mother when I became her caregiver in her terminal illness. That closure, and the forgiveness that followed, was definitely a big part of the foundation that allowed me to finally begin to address my eating issues (which I promised my mother I would do, on her deathbed). I am sure that you and I are far from alone in having to work through that kind of mother-daughter power struggle so that we can finally be as kind to ourselves as our mothers, for their own reasons, were completely incapable of being.

I had a very long workday today (14 hours), but it was a good day overall. My weight was unchanged from yesterday, I made it a point to concentrate on eating slowly and mindfully despite my crazy schedule, I read my cards (for the first time in several weeks), and I gave myself lots of credit for doing so well in a time of significant stress. Didn't get any exercise today, though; just plain no time.

I am SO looking forward to going to the Beck workshop this weekend. Val, I am especially looking forward to finally meeting you in person!

Robin

[Tazzy]

Hi Everyone,

On plan day today and very happy that my co-worker is back from vacation. I feel like eating now (not for physical hunger reasons) and it's because DH has decided not to talk to anyone in the house today. I'm staying away from the kitchen so I'm not tempted. Maybe an early night to bed would be best for all concerned.

Have a good night everyone.

[gardenerjoy]

Back on top of things at the moment. My eating and weight has been fine, exercise not so much, but I'm working on it. And working on the kind of structure that gets me posting here every day!

WI: -0.45kgs, Exercise: +50 565/1300 minutes for September, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Welcome, 4EverLearning! So, cool that you and va1erie are going to the Beck workshop and meeting each other in real life!

[pamatga]

4EverLearning and BelovedK to our 3FC Beck Diet Solution Group!! How absolutely neat that you will be both meeting each other in person for the first time and you have been to an actual Beck seminar. Please share anything from the seminar in one of your next posts. I would love to hear about it.

Glad to see you pop in missyj Miss your little bookworm with glasses. I reacted the same way when I saw my blood glucose so high. I was very diligent until it got near normal then I forgot about it a lot , tested it one day and went "whoa" and then realized that I needed to be ever vigilant.

Bill That is interesting that you mentioned about shoes. Recently, to celebrate some NSV (non scale victory) I bought some new shoes online. I could have sworn that I ordered my usual size 10 but all three pair were a size 9 and they fit. This is so weird that this happened, I have no logical or rational explanation for it. Obviously, size 9 must have been the default size online and I didn't bother to check to see what size they were when I clicked on them but the fact that they fit was really what "rattled me". I don't have to return them of course but what a very odd coincidence. Since I was ordering them to celebrate going down one size in clothing, I wonder if the Universe was telling me "Well, your feet have shrunk too, in case you haven't noticed!" Hmmm??

Lovely I doubt whether there is a person alive who doesn't love everything to do with the autumnal season. Just saying certain words like "pumpkins, apples, cranberries, turkey...." evokes such strong (and warm) memories.

Tazzy - Sorry to hear about your current discord at home. Credit for not succumbing to the well known "food fix" for the situation.

maryann - Did you ever tell us what your dissertation was on? Do you still have to do oral exams as well?

MaryContrary – as we all know by now "the plan works when we work it". Sorry to hear about the added stress in life. It just plain sucks!

beverlyjoy I can sense that things just are tough right now for you. Keep your chin up and things will get better. I think you are doing great.

I'm posting late at night because we ended up doing some running and then after dinner out (again) we planted our fall garden. Now, we are 10 days later than Daniel, the master gardener, wanted (all of) us to have it in but I was sick for about 8 days and Paul has been super busy covering his workload and another man who injured his back. I got to it when we could. I left one tomato plant from the summer garden which has additional tomatoes on it. It is strong and bushy so I am sure we will have some sun-ripened tomatoes by mid to late October.

Since I was "late" I checked my seed packets and decided to go with the ones who have the shortest growing span so our fall garden consists of: spinach, sugar snow peas, radishes, arugula and swiss chard. All of this should be ready by Thanksgiving. It is going to be so wonderful to have all of these dark green organic, fresh-from-the-garden vegetables as part of our Thanksgiving meal. It was such a pleasure to be out in the cooler early evening breeze.

[P.S. for the newcomers, my DH and I joined a nearby community garden this past spring. We live in Georgia where there are two growing seasons spanning 9 months out of the year. It is an organic garden so we have had to learn how to deal with pests the "natural way", etc. It has been a really "learning" experience. I have thoroughly enjoyed participating in it.]

{P.S.S. I also belong to another online diet support group (Biggest Loser Club) and I am currently in a "Buddy Challenge" so when I post my stats I am sharing with you and them what I did for that day. This one is entitled "Covering the P's" like planning, posting, (being) positive, paying it forward. I have also been sharing some of the Beck Diet Solution notes from my response cards with all of them.}

Stats for 9/24:
**1568 calories 21 g fiber 2530 mg sodium
**2300 steps
**began doing neck exercises for the arthritis in my neck from 1978 car accident injury
**F/V: V-8 juice, raisins, banana, lite grape cranberry juice

Stats for 9/25:
**1760 calories 33 g fiber 3061 mg sodium
**Day of Rest-no recorded activity
**F/V: v-8 juice, eggplant, lite grape cranberry juice, whole apple, banana, raisins
**7 hours sleep

Stats for 9/26:
***2129 calories 28 g fiber 3945 mg sodium
***2200 steps spent time outdoors planting fall garden
***F/V: v-8 juice, lite grape cranberry juice, cooked carrots, corn on the cob, peaches, blueberries

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Again, typing on DW's computer; one grows to expect instant Internet 24/7.

Stood down several urges to eat - all from frustration that the project at hand wasn't going smoothly, CREDIT moi. It was easy to intellectually know that frustration is different from hunger. Harder to convince myself that a little comfort food wasn't just what I needed. Reasonable dinner (CREDIT moi) at our local Thai place.


Joy (gardenerjoy) - Kudos for 50 minutes of exercise from someone who needs to get his exercise act together.

Beverlyjoy - I've gotta try some kale chips.

Mary (MaryContrary) – Kudos for not sneaking food. Seems to me that being open about our eating is key to all the other strategies.

missyj – Yay for a new start on the pink book. Yep, 30 pounds seems reasonable in 10 months . . . at a pace that's permanently sustainable. Fall certainly has that feeling that change is possible.

Tazzy - Yay for having your co-worker back to split the load, with cointinued Kudos for not eating over the stress.

BelovedK - Good use of a coffee shop to read the green book.

Pam (pamatga) - Congrats on a shoe size change. LOL at your story that you just happened to order the lower size - somebody's watching over you.

Val (va1erie) - Kudos for leaving part of that rich soup - I find leaving food at a restaurant still a challenge.

Robin (4EverLearning) - Can't wait to hear about the Beck Workshop, and your mini-meet with Val (va1erie). [I'd lost my weight before I learned of Beck. I had this feeling that I needed something to help me maintain, since I'd lost the joy of watching the scale drop. I knew immediately that Beck's Cognitive Therapy was the right thing for me.]

Readers -

chapter 4
Stage 1 The Success Skills Plan

Success Skill 6 Overcome Hunger, Cravings, and Emotional Eating

You've come to one of the most crucial parts of the Beck Diet for Life Program. I'm going to teach you what to do when you are mightily tempted to eat something you're not supposed to have. If you're like many dieters, you've probably had sabotaging thoughts like these:

• I'm really hungry ... I need to eat.
• I can't resist this craving.
• I'm upset ... I have to eat.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 72.

[va1erie]

report: read my cards, weighed (up 2, but I'd had a couple cups of coffee before I remembered to weigh so that might be part of it), ate slowly and mindfully and made a big pot of mostly-veggie soup last night for dinner. Had my exercise class but it was raining again so didn't walk. Dealt with major daughter-induced stress without reaching for food, yay me. Have my WW meeting today, plan to walk to it. And discovered my cowboy boots are looser! I bought them practically new on ebay a couple years ago and they've always been just a little tight. Not so tight they were uncomfortable but tight enough I needed help getting them off. Now I can get them off by myself easily. Kind of a fun little NSV.

BBE -- yay for not overeating at a buffet! I hate buffets. I've about got myself talked into the idea that buffets are just disgusting. There's always food dropped and stepped on, people are coughing all over it, picking things up and putting them back, the food's sitting there getting old...bleah, right? Yay also for recognizing that food can't actually provide comfort in a frustrating situation. Re: losing the joy of watching the scale drop. Boy, don't I know it. I've lost before and regained. It was demoralizing to know I'd done all that work and regained, and it took me years to restart. Now that I've done all this hard work, I am determined I WILL NEVER have to face the prospect of doing it all again. I believe the skills I learned from Beck, along with daily weighing, weekly WW meetings, and checking in every day with my diet buddy are the keys to that. Necessary but not sufficient, of course -- I still have to eat right and exercise -- but I believe they're what will keep me eating right and exercising.

BelovedK -- so you've started through Beck once before? How far did you get, and how did it go?

Beverlyjoy -- I actually do find that posting daily -- making that a rule, just like I weigh daily -- helps keep me on track. If I'm just reading, even for a couple of days, I start to feel I don't want to post until I can post good news. Kind of like if I skip weighing for a few days and know I've overeaten, and now I'm reluctant to get on the scale again until I've had a good day. It's self-perpetuating for me. So now I weigh every day, no matter how badly I did yesterday, and I post every day even when I don't really feel like it.

missyj -- yay, you for getting back on track! And yay that some of the posts you read here helped you motivate yourself! I love that.

MaryContrary -- Good for you for upping the exercise! All that exercise will help with the stress, too!

Robin -- Yay, you for giving yourself credit during a time when you have no time!

Tazzy -- Good for you for recognizing when it's time to avoid the kitchen and go to bed early.

gardenerjoy -- Yeah, I'm really looking forward to both meeting Robin and hearing Beck speak about her work. And I have a few questions for her! Like this whole Green Book idea that if you can't lose on 1600 calories, maybe you're thin enough. Excuse me? I'm 5'2", female, and 50 years old. I GAIN on 1600 calories. Why are tall, young, or male people allowed to get thin for reasons of vanity but short old women aren't?

pamatga -- GMTA on the shoe size! Yes, your feet definitely will get smaller when your weight decreases. I saw it with both my pregnancies. Oh, I so envy you your fall garden! I'm going to be planting garlic and digging/replanting horseradish soon, but that's about it for me this year.

Val

[Lexxiss]

Hi Coaches!

I haven't been posting...I've been tired and overwhelmed with "stuff".
Credits:
~weigh everyday, eat slowly and mindfully while sitting.
~I've been keeping up with my exercise and have added a daily walk (today Day 3), which I'm trying to find a new balance with
~during an extremely agitated day yesterday, I resisted seeking out donuts and chips.
~after posting, I'm off to prep my salad materials for the next few days.

BillBlueEyes, yay for standing down several urges to eat.

Robin(4EverLearning), welcome! I, too, have core issues w/mom which are central to my food issues and I am presently her caretaker. It's very up and down. Great job concentrating on eating slowly and mindfully DESPITE a crazy schedule

Val(va1erie), lots of great credits, especially dealing with mother daughter stress without reaching for food!

Pam(atga), I'm wishing you luck as you add 10 minutes to your treadmill.

gardenerjoy, credit for persistence which keeps you focused in the right direction!

Tazzy, credit for standing down the urge to eat while DH is grumpy.

MaryContrary, I think with the Beck mindset, it is possible to maintain without it being a green light for giving in to stress eating

missyj, glad you're back checking in! I believe it will help you in your quest to find the right plan and lose those pounds requested by your DR.

BelovedK, welcome back!

Beverlyjoy, Yay for a plan, which includes trying kale chips.

maryann, credit for acknowledging when a new habit is slipping and making an immediate change to get that habit back on track.

onebyone, I hope your trip is going well.

[missyj]

Good morning all! Thank you for your kind words in welcoming me back and encouraging me to get back on track. This is going to be a crazy work week for me, but I am going to try and push through it and take Friday off. I feel the need to get everything more centered in my life and a day off might be just what I need to fully recommit. I need to pull it together, as the month of October is going to be very busy with lots of travel. Too many opportunities for bad choices if I do not have my head back in the game.

Lovely, I saw a post of yours on the WW page and I have to tell you that it really hit home. Your description of how you don't wait for motivation as it is just a feeling, but rather that you focus on commitment as an action resonates with me in a BIG way right now. I am feeling all ambivalent, and certainly not very motivated. But your words hit home, and I am going to commit to getting back on track. Thank you for sharing so openly.

Thank you all for your continued wisdom and support! Wishing everyone a great day!

[Beverlyjoy]

Hi Beckfolks - yesterday was better. I stayed within my plan until bedtime. I loved the kale chips:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/baked-k...ps/detail.aspx

Seems like everyone is talking about kale chips lately. In this recipe the kale chips are actually crunchy. I put on garlic powder and parmesean cheese when they were done.. Very tasty. Mine didn't turn brown, however. I used a little less evoo when I made this recipe. They don't stay crunchy after storing.

I had forgotten that kale doesn't always agree with me. I had a tummy ache - and then remembered from a couple years ago, I can not put kale in a green smoothie for the same reason.

I will keep trying and planning. I must. But, I am in a 'I can't do it' frame of mind. My family is coming this weekend and I am feeling kind of defeated before they even get here. I need to put that out of my mind because I CAN DO IT. I've done it before!!!! I know we will have s'mores at a campfire in the backkyard. Last time we did that, I PLANNED a s'more into my daily plan and there was no guilt.

Valerie said: actually do find that posting daily -- making that a rule, just like I weigh daily -- helps keep me on track. If I'm just reading, even for a couple of days, I start to feel I don't want to post until I can post good news. Kind of like if I skip weighing for a few days and know I've overeaten, and now I'm reluctant to get on the scale again until I've had a good day. It's self-perpetuating for me. So now I weigh every day, no matter how badly I did yesterday, and I post every day even when I don't really feel like it.
I need to tatoo this to my brain. Very very true. I did weigh myself and I am up 2 lbs from last Tuesday.

Thanks to everyone for your support, kindness and wisdom.

[pamatga]

GD everyone!

Beverlyjoy Well, I have already copied the recipe. Did you happen to read any of the reviews? I always do now with anything online. I C/P a lot of "tweaking" that others had done as well. I also have a recipe for sweet potato chips that I haven't tried yet. I have to smile though at how so many people are discovering these vegetables that were standard fare in our grandmother's home gardens.

[Side note:My DH, Paul, tells me Swiss chard is very similar to the taste of kale. I believe it is a cousin to spinach and the other "greens". Again, thank you so much for sharing, Beverlyjoy . I am sure that Paul will just love these!! This is a man who routinely "snacks" on a mound of steamed greens on top of a baked potato. How on earth did I find this man???]

I know that many of us here have such emotionally-charged memories/issues, etc with our nuclear families. I love mine but from a distance. I love my husband's but from an even longer distance. This is not to say that these all aren't very good people but as the recipe says "oil and vinegar do not mix" yet really go well together on top of a "mess of greens". Need I say more?

Lexxiss I am so sorry that you have such a "walk to walk" right now. We are here for you. Credit for walking away from the donuts and chips. Even when I am happy, I love both of those. Now, I wonder if they will figure out a way to make "kale donuts"?

Thank you for the comment about my increase in walking on the treadmill. I have come to another bend in the road in this journey of mine and I had the realization this a.m. that when I calm myself down and say "try today" then I don't get so uptight and "the trying isn't so trying to try". Does that make sense?? That is my goal: increase to 5000 steps and 4-10 minutes walks on the treadmill. I would like to have it be NOW but if it happens 2 days from now or a week from now, that is great too. I am also trying to be flexible along with being realistic. I let my body tell me how far I can push it.

va1erie All of your comments were just "inspiring". I C/P and I am going to re-read them later on. Thanks so much!

missyj You hit the nail on the head about having your head right when in the game. I think that the battle of the bulge is won solely between our two ears. Dr. Beck et al know this. Let me tell you that I also rub shoulders with another group who have not realized this yet and boy what a difference it makes in both how they see this dragon but also how they sidle around it figuring out how to slay it. My new fall commitment is to re-read both Beck books so when the holidays are in high gear, I will be "armed and dangerous".

Bill Good Job in staring down those temptations to eat through your projects. Now, that is mindless eating and I think it used to be called "grazing" too at one time. Isn't that what cows do so they get fatter? Paints a picture, huh??

Well, speaking of exercise, I switched gears and instead of walking on the treadmill, I walked back and forth hauling big buckets of H20 to water our garden. We did some tidying up last night in the cool early evening air. I have left one large bushy tomato plant because there are still blossoms, bees hanging around and green tomatoes!! As long as there is producing fruit, it stays. I fenced it off so the squirrels will leave it alone. It has worked so far and it also gives some of the branches something to climb on.

We planted five "cool weather" vegetables last night: spinach, arugula, radishes, sugar snow peas and Swiss chard (two rows of that since Paul just loves that). The radishes will be ready by Halloween but the rest will be on our table at Thanksgiving. I am so fortunate I have a partner who loves vegetables so much. It has taken a long time (almost 12 years) for it to rub off on me but it came by osmosis and made it easier for me that way. Our plates really look colorful at dinner time. "Eat the rainbow".

Credit: I made frosted chocolate brownies from scratch this past weekend. I cut a couple for us and then I took the rest of the 13"x9" baking dish to church on Sunday. It was gobbled up faster than you can say "Grace" and all I had to bring home was a clean dish. Now, that's the way to do it, ah huh, ah huh. (head bobbing here)

Stats for 9/26:
***2034 calories 28 g fiber 4032 mg sodium [went to our favorite buffet restaurant which is spotless, has fresh produce daily and wonderful fresh fish made right in front of you---yours sounds awful, val. I think you would love ours!]
***2200 steps spent time outdoors planting fall garden
***F/V: v-8 juice, lite grape cranberry juice, cooked carrots, corn on the cob, peaches, blueberries ( 'tis the season!)

[maryann]

Good Afternoon Coaches:
Whoa - nice to see all the postings. Welcome 4everlearning and Welcome back MissyJ. I have been over 200 pounds twice in my life. I had lost all but the last 25. Then I came here and found a way to live peacefully with food. It is an interesting perspective to listen to Mary Contrary about just maintaining during stress. For me right now, four pounds from goal for six months, I have to say that maintaining it is the long term over riding concern. I am making maintenance my priority because that process involves self acceptance. No more "When I lose the weight I will..." Happiness and health start now. I remember being 14 and slimmish (The last time I weighed this weight) I hated myself, I was depressed miserable and less than. Maybe I have to weight this a little longer to learn what I didn't know then.
Anyway, long diatribe. I have to help Dh with homework and then finish my MFA stuff. Pamatga: I am getting an MFA in creative writing. No dissertation just a publishable manuscript by the end of two years. No tests
Food is still frustrating. I am foraging chocolate at work, eating the protein when I get home, skipping dinner and not gaining weight. This is not good. Maybe I will publish what I am eating tomorrow like Beverleyjoy.
Tazzy: The spouse stuff is hard and frightening. Congrats facing it OP
Lovely: I like a box of chocolate cake mix and canned pumpkin. Nothing else. Mix it up and bake. Really good.
Lexxiss: Welcome back.
Hello to everybody else. I have got to go.

[gardenerjoy]

Didn't feel at all well today. The 80% On Plan rating is eating less than I planned. No exercise either. But I've been gradually improving through the evening, so hopefully a good night's sleep will fix whatever is ailing.

WI: NC in kgs, Exercise: +0 565/1300 minutes for September, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

va1erie: yeah, you can ask that one for me, too! I've got height on you, but I can't lose with 1600 calories now either. I may one day decide to maintain at whatever weight 1600 calories gets me, but I would like to at least see what it feels like to not be overweight!

pamatga: chard was and is the star of my garden this year. I expect to continue harvesting it right through a frost or two. I planted lettuce and spinach in hoping to get at least some baby greens before the frost ruins them. I think they will survive some light frost as well, especially if I cover them with a sheet.

[Tazzy]

Hi Coaches & Buddies,

Good day today, OP for the day and just got home from Zumba class. Also woke up to happy husband so we are both grateful for that. Need to find a good snack now before I head to bed.

[4EverLearning]

Val, what you said about reporting every day no matter what, like weighing every day no matter what, struck a chord with me. I have gotten out of the habit of daily reporting, and I think the accountability is really critical. At the same time that the daily reporting habit started to slide, so did the daily weighing. A couple of times I just plain forgot (not surprising considering that my life has been completely topsy-turvy lately), and once or twice I even found myself reluctant to weigh because I was afraid I had gained. That is not acceptable!

So: Today my weight was down .4, I stuck to my plan, I had a great session with my personal trainer, I made it a point to eat slowly and mindfully, I saved a few bites for my cat, I tolerated some hunger, and I gave myself lots of credit. A good day!

Lexxiss, becoming your mom's caretaker, while working through your emotional issues with her, is an emotional roller coaster ride. Remember to take care of yourself, too!

Maryann, I was intrigued by your statement that you plateaued at 4 pounds from your goal for 6 months. What do you think was going on emotionally during that time? Psychologically, it can be difficult to let go of those last few pounds. And sometimes, when you finally do let go of them, you feel a sudden need to lower your goal weight--as if you think you don't deserve to finally reach a goal and so have to pull it just out of reach every time you get close. It's a strange dynamic.

Hope everyone has a great OP day tomorrow!

Robin