Morning all. I'm not happy to be awake at this (ungodly) hour, but I got stuck with an early shift at work. I am working on planning my meals for next week as the realization struck me that if I just plan them now I can shop more effectively and waste less food/save money. I hate wasting food and I don't really eat leftovers so it can be a challenge, but luckily my boyfriend will eat almost anything as a leftover so he usually takes it for lunch the next day.
I've still had trouble getting 100% back on track, but I'm making progress. The going got tough much earlier than I expected with Beck!
Report: didn't read my cards, weighed (no change), ate fairly mindfully though we ordered Thai last night and I didn't really make very good choices. Got very little exercise -- rain rain rain here, and I was helping my daughter with her college application process all day so I never left the house. Contacted my diet buddy.
Too busy for callouts! Probably too busy for the next three or four weeks while my daughter finishes her college apps and the farmers' market winds down, but I'll at least try to get in here to report each day!
I'm not sure where this week disappeared to, can't believe I have not posted since Tuesday. I planned to on Wed night but youngest son was on the computer and it was a choice of wait for computer or go for a bike ride. I am happy to report that I decided the bike ride was more important and knew that all of you would understand my decision.
Have been OP for most of the week and the scale has moved again this morning, 1/2 pound but I'll take it! Read my cards at least once every day, planned my food, passed on both licorce and ice cream and did get some spontaneous exercise. Looking forward to a quiet weekend, a great start to autumn here with temps of 28C forecasted for today and tomorrow (our good summer days are around 24C). Will make working in the garden and pulling out the plants a much more pleasant experience. I'll leave the potatoes, carrots and beets for a few more weeks yet. Once the first frost comes I'll have to think about getting the rest harvested. Zumba class again on Sunday and am planning to ride my bike again. I'm also very happy that our Tues Zumba class resumes next week, I have really been missing the twice a week classes.
Well last day at work without my co-worker here so am just going to tackle one piece of paper or email at a time and remember that it's almost over!!
Have a great day everyone, I really hope to get back for personals over the weekend.
Good Morning, Coaches
OP yesterday. Taught art to DS class. Came home and helped him with his report. I was not as patient as I could have been but I kept "righting" myself and I think it turned out fine. DH is gone with harvest and that is always tough. He will come home to pick up DS so I can write this weekend. I am cranky about that. I don't like needing help. I think I am just cranky over lots today but feelings just are. It is the behavior that counts and I am proud of my behaviors. OP yesterday with a substitution. Credit for pilates last nite and step class this morning. Meal planned. Here we go with the day. pamatga: Googling DWTS. Glad your day was spectacular. Lexxiss: There is nothing more satisfying than working hard on a concrete project and seeing it get finished. In another less busy life, I did tons of projects like that. BBE: I had a veggie sausage the other day. I am grateful for choices we have in restaurants. Valerie: I was at the farmer's market on Wed. Boy, the fruit around now is spectacular. Tazzy: Credit for weight loss and the bike ride. All things build on each other. beverleyjoy: You're still posting despite your disappointments. Credit.
It does seem like people have been much more busier around here these past couple of weeks or so. Could it just be the seasonal change?? Back to school, back to planned activities and just plain "end of summer" clean-up. Probably that and a combination of all those. I miss seeing some of your familiar "faces". For those of you who are just "lurking" or MIA; I want you to know I miss you, think about you, care about you, and hope everything is well with you.
Big Credit: DH was running late again, so I encouraged him to have his big meal of the day on the road (which he did) and I ordered delivery pizza from my favorite nearby place. I do get a vegetarian thin crust light sauce and cheese; which I still love. Hey it's still pizza! I am very pleased to say that in spite of my hunger and not feeling like I really had eaten enough, I stopped before I was full. I put the rest away even though this is my favorite food (of all time!). I reminded myself that it won't go anywhere (since DH is allergic to cheese so he rarely eats pizza) and I need to set some boundaries with this. Whereupon, I walked on the treadmill afterwards then picked up my hand sewing that I have been working on the past couple of weeks and within an hour I had forgotten about it. However, later that evening when I was listening to the downpour outside and I was feeling really empty again, I thought about that pizza in the refrigerator. Once again, I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes then had an apple and got busy playing solitaire on my computer. Maybe not a big deal to any of you but being that I would fight a "hand-to-hand" war, Godzilla and aliens for pizza; it is a huge deal for me. This is what Dr. Beck surely meant when you just plain stare it down sometimes. Thought I'd share.
Still in the afterglow of the huge project I both undertook and finished two days ago. I just walked around smiling. I bet that is how you will feel Lexxiss when your "big project" is finished. We just found a new secret to weight lose and not feeling hungry. Stay so busy that when you do stop to eat, you are just too plain tired to do so. I am going to try and do this more often. I might just have to offer myself for hire before it is all said and done.
Beverlyjoy and Michi702 – Actually, I have been going through a period of all of this just being super tough. Some of the mechanics are now second nature but the need to be constantly applying that effort can be mentally daunting at times. Persistence and Patience--trees and grass. Yup!
maryann - A day without writing for me is a day without breathing. Just can't not do it. Glad you pushed forward.
Bill You're on the mark, as always. My DH always complains about nothing being written in English when it comes time to assemble something but I told him I would rather have one good picture of the finished product any day then poorly written technical jargon.
While in college, I took my one and only factory assembly job. What I learned was invaluable. Have a picture of the finished product by your side. I do not read the instructions and rarely look at the diagram but I look at the finished product picture. Always spread out your parts, count them to make sure they are all there, then put things together as they logically appear to go together and only tighten any joining part "finger tight" because invariably you will have put one part together wrong and this way you won't have strip the screws or anything when taking apart and reassembling because, guess what, you will have to at least once. It has helped me many times over since everything comes boxed these days except (antique furniture-).
Lovely – Great job in visualizing yourself next spring. So, what do you see when you see yourself next spring?? I took a one night seminar on practicing visualization a few decades ago. At the time I hated the job I was working so I spent that evening visualizing what I would be doing if I weren't working there. I guess, I must have really visualized it well because the next day I got laid off! Now, that was "weird".
I think the next step proves to be the hardest for a lot of people; charting out how to get from here to there. It is for me, anyway. Sure, I want to be my goal weight but what do I need or have to do to get there? A lot of hard work!!
Stats for 9/22:
**2129 calories 14 g fiber 3530 mg sodium (pizza!)
**4200 steps (used pedometer for accuracy)
**walked 2-10 minute sessions on treadmill ( one at 1.7 mph)
**F/V-raisins, whole apple, lite cranberry juice, tomato, green peppers
**8 hours of solid sleep
It's a very autumnal evening here--except it's 64F so that's still pretty warm. But it's really rainy and the leaves are starting to change. I am sure on my drive to Ottawa on Monday I'll see big shifts of colour in the trees as I approach the Ottawa Valley. They are two weeks ahead of us season-wise ie two MORE weeks of winter than I'll get here.
Score one for my new place of residence.
I overate yesterday feeling the stress of my trip to see my mom and my sister. This trip is squished inbetween my latest round of shows. I've considered not going but, really, given my sister is coming up from Key West, and my mom is turning 84 on Tuesday, and she has a progressive brain disease (Alzheimer's) really, I should go. Things could be significantly different next year... or not. Such is the nature of this brain disease. I can't just sit back and hope for the best. I need to base my actions and decisions on the here and now so I am driving up Monday and driving back Wednesday. I guess I need to call her tomorrow and start checking in with my mom. I haven't called her in some time. I just withdrew after my last visit. My feelings are really churning around inside. Oh well. It's all hard. It'll be easier with my sister there. I think we may even share a hotel room.
My food has not been great. I weighed in officially this morning at 283.3. *credit* I was sad about that number today, but not sad enough to not eat too much again. I'm recording my food - all of it*credit* and reading my 4 Day Win Book*credit*.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Exercise was walking back and forth from one end of a large Home Depot to the other to find the stuff I needed, CREDIT moi. The surprise was bumping into an old friend in the plywood department. Just boggles my mind all the stuff you can buy to fix or decorate a house.
onebyone - Yay for Fall - I do love my seasons. Good luck preparing yourself for your trip to visit your mom and sister.
maryann - OP is always good. Have you gotten those two kids who cried because their stuff wasn't good enough to accept their own are work yet?
Pam (pamatga) – Kudos for your victory over "Godzilla and aliens" to avoid extra pizza - even though it was both thin crust and veggie. [I do like diagrams of the finished product.]
Tazzy - Yay for all those veggies to harvest; I'm jealous that you'll still have potatoes, carrots and beets for a few more weeks.
Michi702 - Kudos for getting back on track - THE big step in this process. Neat insight that planning can help save money and food.
Val (va1erie) - Yep, Thai has some good choices and some not so good. Good luck with this college application stuff.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 4 Stage 1The Success Skills Plan
Success Skill 5Get Moving
After several more classes, Audi was finally able to fully accept the necessity of exercise - not necessarily because it would help her lose a significant amount of weight any time soon, but because it was essential for her well-being, both physically and psychologically. She was finally able to put exercise in her NO CHOICE category.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg. 71.
Had a great day on Friday. Food was on target. Got in a nice walk on the treadmill. Overall on plan and in control.
I recently started a little challenge that will help keep me on track through the holiday time of year. I had completed a 99 Day challenge over the whole summer and it felt nice to accomplish something one day at a time. (Sometimes one moment at a time.) I'm aiming for similar and I have a feeling it will keep me focused. If nothing else, once again, the main goal is to just be here and continuing on my journey for better health.
I just recently passed a five month "anniversary" I suppose you would call it, even though it's less than a year. Time seems to be flying. Next month I'll be taking pictures at the six month mark and measurements to track progress. I'm looking forward to it, but there's that part of me that wonders "Will there even be a difference from the three month mark?"
Another busy, and emotional day. I overate last night, but hadn't had much all day, either. The most amazing thing was that I noticed a major brain shift. As I was more than enjoying pizza night, my mind didn't engage to that insatiable place where I used to have to just keep eating anything and everything. I overate the pizza, had a large piece of SF cake, and was done. I went to bed and woke up knowing that what I do is get back on plan.*credit* No off and running thoughts. None.
Exercise included hauling the gigantic couch from my childhood out of grandmas house where it's been stored since 1980. Sad for me, because it was once a beautiful piece of furniture sadly neglected. I drove to the Sr.Center yard sale, and even they didn't want it. I drove around town with it in the back...what to do...finally drove to the landfill and paid $25. to dump it. They let me set it aside and when I went up later with another load it was gone. It gets one more life.*credit* moi for letting go. I also took one, each, of the many sets of encyclopedias for the different thrift stores to look at. Each had the same answer-they can't give them away. I tore the hard covers off and sent the rest to recycle. In their own way they will have another life, too.*credit*
ETA-as I reflect on yesterday, I really have to wonder, does letting go of that crutch of a couch, (which BTW needed my mom's permission WHICH I've waited on for YEARS), actually help me to relieve a layer of my food obsession, as evidenced in my not binging last night? It feels like it does.
Report: didn't read my cards, weighed (down 1.3), ate slowly, mindfully, left a bite. Didn't exercise, which was a drag because it was my normal class day when I usually get lots of exercise, but I had a really bad night's sleep. Every once in a while I wake up at midnight and don't get back to sleep again until nearly 4, and I have to get up at 4:45 for my class. So when I finally started to drop off again around 4:30, I unset my alarm and went to sleep. Oh, well. Move on. Today is the market and I'll get tons of spontaneous exercise there. Contacted my diet buddy.
Tazzy -- I'm with you on the disappearing week! I spent another full day helping my daughter get her college applications, etc., in order. Honestly, when I was her age I applied to ONE school. ONE. I've had to set up a SPREADSHEET to keep all her deadlines straight. Yay, you, for putting first things first and getting exercise instead of getting online!
maryann -- I've noticed over the years attending farmers' markets weekly that strangely the crowds drop off during September and October -- probably because people are busy with school and sports -- when the markets are bursting with produce! In May, the market is bursting with people who can't figure out why there's lettuce and kale and spinach but not much else -- I had a guy asking me for PEARS last May! So many of us have lost an understanding of seasonal food.
pamatga -- I actually think it's more than just busy-ness at this time of year that gives us a dropoff in posting in forums like this as summer ends. That's part of it, sure, but IMO it's also a dropoff in motivation, unfortunately. We're putting on more layers, and we feel less exposed. We feel those extra pounds don't show as much...and we lose that incredibly strong desire to look good in shorts, swimwear, etc. In January, when people are making New Year's Resolutions and thinking about the coming warmer weather, the gyms and weight watchers meetings will fill up again, and we'll probably see a lot of new faces here too. It's really too bad, because THIS time of year, when most of us are heading into the Eating Season, is when we need to get MORE motivated, not less. ALL: SO LET'S NOT DO THAT! Let's all make a promise to ourselves right now that we'll INCREASE our motivation. Let's read our cards -- all those Advantages of losing weight are going to feel really important to us again come January when we're thinking about NEXT summer. Maybe we should each make a new response card to the sabotaging thought that "I'll give myself a break now and get back on track after the holidays." RESPONSE: If I don't control my eating now, I'll likely have MORE weight to lose come January. I need to control my eating now as we head into Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Party eating so that I won't have the experience of getting on the scale on January 1st for the first time in months and discover I've gained another ten pounds.
Lovely -- GMTA on visualizing yourself in April!
onebyone -- re: stress eating. Make yourself a response card that reminds you that food can't really provide comfort. Sabotaging thought: I'm so stressed...I deserve this (comfort food.) Response: Eating this food will feel comforting while I'm eating it, but when I finish it the stress I'm feeling will still be here, and it'll be compounded by the stress of having eaten off plan.
Debbie -- Yay, you for stopping the binge before it had really started, and yay for recognizing the brain shift! Thin people overeat sometimes! The difference it that thin people don't think to themselves, "Well, I've blown it. Might as well blow it big." Instead they tell themselves, "Yuck, I'm already overfull. I don't need one more bite." And then they move on. re: the couch. What did this couch represent to you and your mom? Good for you for recognizing a connection between holding onto emotionally-loaded stuff and overeating for emotional reasons. Both are a type of hoarding, I think.
Good Morning.
DH took DS to the ranch until Sunday morning so I can finish my MFA packet. I wrote and wrote yesterday. Same today and tomorrow. Credit for shutting off the voice that says none of it is good enough. I tell myself, "Well, just type a first draft then, it won't count." And I do.
Annoying habit the last two days of eating my dinners standing up in front of the refrig. HMMM! I was able to not eat anything else so the ticker stayed put but I know this behavior is not healthy for me. On track with yesterday. Today I'll take a long walk after dinner. Tom. Yoga/pilates. Valerie: LOL with pears in May except that I would have been the same had I not married a farmer. Everything is late this year so pears are still hanging in there. The sleep thing is tough. I don't know how old you are but being 47 is really shifting some sleep patterns. Although truth be told, Both my boys -DS and DH- were gone last night and I slept like a baby. HMMMM! BBE: Both kids did great. The boy, I now see, is probably on the autism spectrum - something like that, socially delayed. Sometimes I wish teachers would give me a little heads up before I teach. It went fine. The girl did a beautiful finished portrait. They drew their dads realistically and then right next to it, drew an abstract version of him. They turned out cool. Lexxiss: I absolutely think that we have to let go of attachments in order to let go of food - 100% For me it has been less about stuff than about behaviors from my childhood (read throwing tantrums). Good for you for your insight. Pamatga: I, too, think of the people who have come and gone over the last year. It is interesting. The same thing happens in my AA home group. You feel you know people intimately because of the level of sharing but really they are a click away from you never hearing from then again. But that's ok. I have a favorite quote "People are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime." I think people in my life for a reason are there to help me in my recovery for however small a time. And I for them. Lovely: Like the picture idea. My deal is to get into my closet every three months, rearrange, toss, put outfits together. Clothes have become a joy and an incentive. Onebyone: Courage is the word I think about when dealing with aging parents. So much of us is them and when I see their aging, I feel everything in the book.
va1erie and maryann Thank You So Very Much for such insightful posts. There was so much wisdom in your words. I am so thirsty for wisdom these days. I just drink it like a person who just crossed a desert.
Lexxiss Letting go is very freeing but not without some sadness. I have been on this same journey of repeated "letting go" for the past two and a half years. I was telling my DH last night that I still can't believe how much stuff we still have (of course, now "everything has a place, etc.") even after all the many trips to Goodwill, AKF et al. What the Heck was I thinking of when I got all of that?? I look back at who I was then (I felt so empty and insecure). I feel more full these days so I don't have to fill that former "emptiness" up any more. I think that alone is just plain "neat".
My sister, Paula, has been really bothering me to come back to MN and go through my parents' house and take some of their stuff home with me. First of all, why does she think I necessarily want it and, secondly, my Dad and her are still living in the house we grew up in. Don't you think my Dad would think it is kind of creepy to be doing that right under his nose? YES, I do. There are a few things that I would like but not the things she would think I do and certainly not anything that has any meaning except to me. In fact, come to think of it, the only things I want only invoke painful memories so I am not so sure, I want anything.
There might be two gifts I may take back that I gave my Mom that she never appreciated although both were "sacrificial gifts" from my side of the fence. One was a double wedding ring handmade quilt for their 60/65 birthday respectively--- which I saw on their bed once. I was on disability insurance and I spent two week's benefits on it. The other was a beautiful detailed historical accurate Colonial sampler(I still love looking at it) that I hand stitched which caused a huge rift between my mom and I. She ranted about her displeasure with me in not finishing when she wanted it (in spite of the fact I was a full time student and working at the time) in front of a mall store clerk. See what I mean?? See, all those remind me is that from the time I was aware of it until the day she died, my mom never gave me the one thing I always wanted: her approval. I once told my DH, when mom died, so did the hope that I would ever get that approval too. I did forgive her though.
P.S. I gave the eulogy at my mom's funeral. Proverbs 31" A Good Woman". It was genuine, sincere and very heartfelt. Forgiveness is all about "letting go".
onebyone I feel guilt for a different reason. As you can see from above, I am in no hurry to return to MN any time soon. I haven't been there since November 2008 for Mom's funeral. However, I do feel bad for my DH. His Dad had a second heart attack this past winter although it was a mild one. Right now, all three of our remaining parents have "stable" health issues and they are being closely watched by their respective physicians. We have talked about going back for the holidays but I feel I should see my son since he is alone in Philadelphia and I am the only family who comes to visit. We may end up splitting up the holidays and we go our "separate ways" (with each others' blessing, of course). We'll see.
Regarding your food plan: is it possible that you could pack food for yourself to carry along? With it now being cooler, I would think you wouldn't even need to worry about spoilage. When I went to MN in 2008, I packed one entire suitcase of the kinds of foods, spices etc I ate on my SBD. It was hot pink tagged (they do that down here for sharp metal objects--y'know assault with a meat tenderizer!) though because some of the cooking tools I took along. I tell you that I would do the same thing if I knew I were going to be away from home for any extended period of time. There are absolutely NO healthy food choices in the small town where I grew up. NONE!
Bill You are always doing so well, my man. Glad to hear that you are keeping busy still with the house. I swear if you had worn a pedometer while in Home Depot you probably circled it enough to put in miles and miles. Some of these stores like that are absolutely HUGE down here. I was in Lowe's and needed to use the bathroom and a clerk showed me where it was: it was good 6 blocks from where I was standing. I said, "I'll hold it." and I walked away. Side note: Home Depot was started down here in Hotlanta. The man who started the chain gave $800M to build the world's largest aquarium in downtown.(I'm not sure if that record still stands--probably Dubai has something bigger) He thought it would be good for tourism. I think we even have a whale in it. As I said, "super-sizing" is not just Texan. It's also Atlantan.
maryann thanks again for the 12 step saying of "why we are all where we are". I agree 100%. I hope I have given hope, encouragement, love, concern and some humor along the way for all of you here today and for those who were here yesterday. I am thinking and feeling loving towards all of you--lurkers too---.
The Beck Way is the Best Way. Do I hear an Amen? (which literally means "I agree")
Stats for 9/23:
***2086 calories 19 g fiber 2509 mg sodium
**4400 steps(used pedometer for accuracy)
**walked 3-10 minutes on treadmill (1.7 mph)
**F/V:apple, lite cranberry grape juice, green peppers, Roma tomatoes, cooked carrots, spinach, broccoli
**8 hours sleep
Starting tomorrow I am going to see if I can add an additional 1-10 minute session on the treadmill to make that 40 minutes total. I am also going to push myself to get 5000 steps in daily. Wish me luck!!
A quick check in on my official weigh in day, down to 174.6, and cannot remember the last time that happened! So excited to break the 20 pound mark. I'm going to celebrate right now by joining my DH in the backyard to sit and admire our yard on this great fall day we have going. It's 30C in the shade on the front step so such be a scorcher in the south facing back yard.
I'll check in tomorrow for personals. Happy Saturday
It may take a while for me to get to know you all, bear with me.
I picked the book back up today, and need to coach and be coached
Today was a good day. I resisted temptation, and ate well. The big part being that I resisted biscuits my boyfriend made (when I am actually not full from dinner. )
I am weighing more now because I think I am retaining water due to PMS, and I really need todrink more water.
Short post before I hit the hay: weighed in less than yesterday (1.8 = 281.5) recorded all my food; still overeating. Not as stressed about my trip today. I still plan to exercise everyday and still do not do it.
Got very little exercise -- rain rain rain here, and I was helping my daughter with her college application process all day so I never left the house. Contacted my diet buddy.
and did get some spontaneous exercise. Looking forward to a quiet weekend, a great start to autumn here with temps of 28C forecasted for today and tomorrow (our good summer days are around 24C). Will make working in the garden and pulling out the plants a much more pleasant experience. I'll leave the potatoes, carrots and beets for a few more weeks yet. Once the first frost comes I'll have to think about getting the rest harvested. Zumba class again on Sunday and am planning to ride my bike again. I'm also very happy that our Tues Zumba class resumes next week, I have really been missing the twice a week classes.
everyone!
Hey it's still pizza! I am very pleased to say that in spite of my hunger and not feeling like I really had eaten enough, I stopped before I was full. I put the rest away even though this is my favorite food (of all time!). I reminded myself that it won't go anywhere (since DH is allergic to cheese so he rarely eats pizza) and I need to set some boundaries with this. Whereupon, I walked on the treadmill afterwards then picked up my hand sewing that I have been working on the past couple of weeks and within an hour I had forgotten about it. However, later that evening when I was listening to the downpour outside and I was feeling really empty again, I thought about that pizza in the refrigerator. Once again, I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes then had an apple and got busy playing solitaire on my computer. Maybe not a big deal to any of you but being that I would fight a "hand-to-hand" war, Godzilla and aliens for pizza; it is a huge deal for me. This is what Dr. Beck surely meant when you just plain stare it down sometimes. Thought I'd share. 
TGIF once more
Saturday
