I relate to this so much! Last night, when my fiance and I were lying in bed, we discussed how much we've tried and failed together to lose weight. I confessed that I had done this to him, although it wasn't done consciously at the time. I only realized in retrospect what I had done. Stalling his loss was so much easier than dealing with why I had given up on myself! I will never do this again. If I think he is getting lighter than me, then I will just have to examine my own efforts a little more closely.

I confess that I am totally ashamed that I allowed myself to gain all this weight.
I confess that I was a skinny kid all my life.
I confess that I was 95 lbs when I got married and never in a million years would I have believed I would ever had a body that looks like this.
I confess that I shutter and want to change the subject when people at work go on and on about my weight loss.
I confess that I wonder why people are compelled to bagger you about how much weight you lost and when you plan to quit dieting.
I confess I hold myself to higher standards then other people.
I confess I would just like to leave my weight loss in the past and move on in my life.
I confess that I find The Biggest Loser Pathetic and wonder how anyone would allow themselves to be exploited yes they can win money but what about their since of dignity?
I confess I believe in accountability and owning mistakes.
I confess I know as God as my witness I'll never allow myself to be Fat again!
I confess I can't wait to be done with this process.
I confess I am so amazed how people are so quick to judge how someone chooses to lose weight or has a desire to have reconstructive surgery to repair the obvious damage that all the excess weight has done to their body.
I confess when I hear or read someone talking about surgery as vanity I wonder why is that vanity and what motivates someone to be throwing out that passive aggressive barb of Vanity?
I confess I will always miss Junk Food
I confess I would love to eat when I want and whatever I want and not have to think about it!

New to this site but want to include myself..
 

These confessions totally help me feel less alone in my struggle.

I confess, I sometimes resent my sister.. she's received my mom's genes, and I've got my dad's. The bigger side.

I also resent that she feels the need to lose 50 lbs when seriously she looks like she weighs maybe 125 when I say I need to lose 60... it's a fact since I weigh in at 206 right now (lost 2 lbs this week).

I resent my mom sometimes, because i feel like she criticises me with out criticising. I also resent my mom that she tried to set my sister up with a guy who is fit, funny, handsome... and the guy she set me up with... was 250+ lbs... just cuz i'm bigger means what?? that fit guys wont like me? ... I guess I proved her wrong cuz I'm dating the guy she tried to set up with my sister, but I don't think my feelings have ever been more hurt than when she did that to me. To me.. it made me feel like she doesn't think I deserve the same things my sister does.

I confess that I'm worried that once I lose this weight... I'll never maintain it.. but I am going to prove that I can.

I also confess... that I want to be healthy.. I don't just want to be healthy though.. I want to be healthy without having to think about it. I want to know when I'm hungry and when I just want to shove food in my face cuz there is nothing better to do. I want to serve myself normal portions without having to weigh and measure and calorie count everything! (This is my goal)

How did I miss this thread?? It's given me a lot to think about reading through here!!

- I confess I'm in a hurry to get to 175 so I can go back on the pill. I'm 31 and it's harder to get my doc to agree with that now. Depo messed me up for a year, and I am sick of being so terrified of getting pregnant that I have no sex life.
- I confess (and I only thought of this after getting the idea from this thread, heh!) that I dream of the day I can rub my thin-ness in the face of people who thought less of me or downright insulted me for being fat.
- I confess that I want to be thin in case I end up getting married. I wouldn't want to bring my fat into married life, if that even happens. And I would want to look amazing in the dress ;)
- I confess that a large part of this is vanity and wanting to wear beautiful clothes, not just whatever I can find that doesn't make me look TOO awful.
- I confess that I want to be small so that I can visit Japan one day without feeling like the Big Fat Westerner... Our diet over here makes it so much easier to be larger. I hate that. But I also hate McDonald's, so it's not all bad!
- I confess that I won't sit on a bar stool if someone offers me it, as my fat thighs splay out and nearly make me slide off the seat. It's embarrassing to tell someone I'd rather stand, then sit down in a normal chair when one comes up because I can rest my heels on the legs of the chair, so that my feet are on my toes, which makes my thighs look smaller. If that makes sense.
- I confess that I rarely even socialise any more, because I neither recognise nor like the person I've become.
- I confess that I want to be stronger and smaller so that I can do "cool stuff" like the splits, walking on my hands etc... I'd never do this in front of anyone, I think it's because all the fit kids at school could do these things and I couldn't. Speaking of which:
- I confess that I'd love to see people who bullied me at school when I'm thin, and find that they are completely miserable and have done nothing with their lives ;)
- I confess that I won't go some places if I do go out socially, if I can't get a taxi, because walking up a small hill melts my hair and makeup.
- I confess that I want to be able to wear my boyfriend's clothes. He's small, about 9-10 stone of lean muscle and nothing else. He could pick me up at 212lbs! But I want him to be able to pick me up EASILY. While I'm wearing his 30w combat trousers :D

I confess that I am frustrated with myself for gaining back the weight that I had fought so hard to lose.

I confess that my motivation came back when everyone else in the office was losing weight and I became the fattest person.

I confess that i can't change my original ticker from 180 because i am finding it hard to believe that i gained back the weight..

i confess that i have serious self doubt sometimes i believe i can conquer it all other times i am afraid it will never happen

I confess that sometimes i get angry at my fiance because it is so easy for him , he is lean runs marathons and has no excess weight..

I confess that sometimes skinny people are only hot because they are skinny, there is a horrible bossy unfriendly person i work with and a the male co workers think she is hot.. i think its because she is skinny.. because she is not that pretty.. plus her attitude stinks

Oooh, this thread sounds like a good idea.

I confess that I want the male attention that comes with being pretty and thin, and I'm scared for my marriage because I don't know how to handle that attention.

I confess I care more about clothes than my health as an impetus for losing weight.

I confess that I think I'm thinner in my head than I am in real life. In my head, I weigh 40 pounds less than I do now. I haven't come to terms really with my most recent weight gain.

I confess that I'm terrified of what my breasts will look like when I lose weight. They already sag and the aeroles are huge. I'm afraid that is all my breasts will be, and I'll look like a freak.

I confess that I'm afraid I won't like my body when I've lost weight. That I won't like the proportions, the likely loose skin that comes with losing 110 pounds.

I confess that I'm terrified that I can't do this. Even though I'm in a much better headspace than I've ever been in, and this effort doesn't seem like so much of a struggle, I'm afraid that won't last and I'll end up fatter than ever.

That was good. I need to confess more often.

I am scared that I will no idea how to be me when I’m skinny

I also hide behind my weight and worry when I’m skinny I STILL won’t be brave enough to do everything I want to.

I worry about what a deflated me will look like.

I want to feel sexy and have serious envy issues with people who wear outfits I want to wear and lingerie I could never look good in.

I daydream about running into people from my past and them doing a double take.

I have been calorie counting for a few weeks and have almost no desire to eat anything remotely unhealthy and it worries me only because I didn’t have an “Aha” moment and I wonder how this is suddenly so easy and how hard I will fall when I do. (I hope I don’t)

I want people to look at me and really believe that I do hike a lot and that I am an outdoorsy person – not just a fat girl trying to be/sound cool.

I always say I don’t care about fashion, makeup or fancy haircuts but really I just don’t think any of those things will look good on fat me, so I hide as a plain Jane. I have this fantasy of doing a total makeover, moving somewhere different, getting a new job and just starting fresh as a stunner with no fat past.

I worry that my boyfriend will never get healthier and that I will let his habits become mine again. I love him dearly, but I don’t know if I have the strength to be with someone who has all the issues I am trying so hard to overcome. If I succeed and he stays as is, what does that mean for our future?

This is awesome. Thanks for this thread.

I confess that a big motivator for me is too not be so much fatter than all my girl friends. All my best friends are REALLY thin. Like fitness model thin. I want to be able to go hang out at the beach with them instead of making excuses because I know I'll feel like a beached whale. Also I don't like shopping with my friends because they are grabbing size 2's 4's and 6's and I need a 12 and sometimes a 14. I know that isn't insanely large at all, but when standing beside my tiny friends its sucks to be trying on cloths.

I confess that while I do want to be healthy, vanity is usually the first motivator that comes to mind when I think of reasons for losing weight.

If I knew that I could keep the weight off afterwards and knew I could live and eat healthfully and not give myself minds trips by doing so, I would totally crash diet to lose weight fast. I suppose it is good I know it doesn't work for me. (Yes I have been down that road).

Eventhough I feel big, I am in denial about my weight. I cant imagine I was within 10 lbs of the 200 mark. I would have told myself in the past it was impossible that I would get that high on the scale.

I need to ave my annual appointment with my doctor, but I have avoided making the appointment because I know I weighed 15 lbs less last year and I don't want to see any judgment register on the docs face when she sees that.

Looks like it's been a couple of days since anyone posted in this thread, but man am I glad I found it, because it's exactly what I need today!

I confess....that I was determined to make 'healthy choices' at a restaurant last night, and failed, and I am convinced even if i DO lose the 115 pounds that I wont be able to keep it off.

I confess.....that I get really angry that some people can eat anything and never gain weight.

I confess.....that I kind of wish I was anorexic because I have no will power and anorexic people have tons

I confess....that I'm scared I can't do this. :(

Thanks for listening!

I confess I miss eating fried chicken strips; I know I can eat them, but I'm afraid that I will want to continue eating them every day.

I confess I HATE HATE HATE working out; the worst part is getting started, though.

I confess that I should be eating a lot less sugar, but I love my greek frozen yogurt and fruit.

I confess that losing weight is one of the hardest things I've ever had to accomplish. I really nervous about the maintanance phase, but I have a long way to go.

I confess that my top motivator for losing weight is taking my son on vacation for graduation; I don't want him to look fantastic, while I look like a beached whale.

I confess that I got off plan for a couple of months and it was super easy.

I confess that I'm worried about staying dedicated.

I confess that I will be pissed if I don't make it to goal by the summer.

I confess that I have mostly always been a skinnier girl and thought that fat was something that happened to "other people".

I confess that I have mostly thought I was "invincible" when it came to weight and that the things I ate would never catch up to me.

I confess that I used to think that fat was just because people ate too much and were lazy.

I confess that now that I am fat I feel like it's God punishing me for being so stupid with all those ridiculous notions.

I confess that having sex is difficult for me now because I feel ugly and I don't think I'm attractive to my husband.

I confess I think my kids and husband are embarrassed of me because of my weight gain.

I confess that I'm going to work as hard as I can for as long as I have to in order to feel good again.

I confess that I will never have pre-conceived notions about why others have weight issues, and will not presume to know all the answers when I have not been in their shoes.

And most importantly I confess that I will trust in God for the willpower and courage to do make the right choices in this precious life he has given me. Not only when it comes to healthy choices for my body, but with life in general.

HAPPY WEIGHT LOSS!! :hug:

I confess I feel too fat and gross to be intimate with my husband...being one of my main motivators to lose weight

I confess that I miss men, and sometimes women, flirting with me. It's been years since anyone has flirted with me.

I confess that I love clothes and shoes and I'm tired over only having two or three clothing store options

I confess that I've blamed everyone except for me for not losing weight until now

I confess that once I stop dropping five pounds a week because I'm so large and used to a 5000 calorie a day diet that I won't be able to stick with it

I confess that I worry about my boobs getting smaller - it's been the only nice thing about this weight gain...going from a small C to a DD

I confess that I taped a full profile picture of me at my heaviest on my refrigerator in order to avoid the tempation of eating my husband's ice cream at 10 o'clock at night

I confess that I haven't seriously tried to quit smoking because it will impede my weight loss.

I confess that I worry I will lose my empathy for us "fatties" like some of my formerly fat friends have done after they lost weight

I worry that losing this weight won't make me as happy as I think it will.

I miss my husband being able to pick me up.