I confess that I have been stressed out about starting my weight lifting routine because I'm afraid it is the last piece of the weight loss puzzle for me to accomplish.

I confess that I am afraid of succeeding, afraid of feeling good about myself again.

I confess that it's easy to sit around, pig out on bad but good tasting junk food, and not move all day long.

I confess that sometimes I could care less about losing weight.

It amazes how I've come to cope with my body at this weight. What made me get started was accepting that I was this big and caring about myself regardless of my weight. Now, it's like I have to balance this love-hate cycle inside myself, yet stay positive about coordinating this new life style. Calorie-awareness, prepping my meals, making sure I don't go crazy with food on weekends, making sure I'm not in a negative mood else I'll overeat, making a schedule for cardio and weight lifting, finding other things to do so I don't eat after 8pm.

It takes a lot to continually change my old habits. I know I feel better when I eat clean and exercise, but since the holidays, I've realized exactly how much work it actually takes.

Regardless of the challenges and my confessions, this journey has left me with some invaluable: a positive mood. It's almost impossible for me to look at any aspect of my life and think negatively about it; rather I look for ways to improve the current state of things.

All in all, it's certainly worth it.

I hope everyone is finding the support they need here. Glad to be on this journey with all of you :)

One of the reasons that I'm losing (since it was part of the reason that I gained) is being able to run into my ex in town and have him see how sexy I will look at goal weight and he will regret everything he did and said. Sadly, I avoid entire sections of town because he lives and works in a certain area. I do not want him to see me since I've gained some...only once I lose it and more :)

I confess that I have an obsession with my weight that is all consuming and completely impacts my mental state/mood daily.
I confess that I have had bitterness towards people who never have had to really battle weight and who can never understand what that does to a person and how it impacts a persons life in so many ways.
I confess I have binge eating tendencies and feel it is a battle I may never truly shed myself of.
I confess I dont think I will ever be skinny enough or pretty enough.
I confess I am emotionally scarred from my childhood and growing up overweight, obeses, and morbidly obese. I remember every joke made at my expense, and every negative comment made by family, school mates and so-called friends.
I confess there have been times I just gave up on how I looked because I get tired of having to try so hard at how my body is.
I confess I have shear anger that I have weight problems whereas others around me can just do about whatever they want and not worry about what they eat.

I confess that I was getting annoyed yesterday during lunch with a friend. Before placing our orders, she looked up her meal choice on her phone and announced how many calories her meal would be. She acted surprised. I felt like I was dining with an idiot (she chose what was obviously a high fat /calorie meal).
She ordered it anyway but peppered the conversation with her exercise and diet tips.

I'm not on a "diet". I was looking to meet up with my friend, not be reminded about calories. I admit that she weighs at least 60 pounds more than me, so I drowned out her diet talk.

I forgot that in January, "diets" are in full swing.
Meeting another friend today for lunch and she already asked if we can meet later so she can go to the gym first to burn off the calories.
Lunch was her idea.
Now I feel she will be scrutinizing the menu also for what I order, because that's what people do. Worry about yourselves! I'm going to order what I want to order and I'm not going into a discussion about my food choices with you.

I've been dating a guy and circumstances have made it difficult for us to have sex for the past few weeks. I confess that part of my brain is really worried I'm getting too small and squishy for him to want me anymore. I've lost 25 pounds since we started hanging out and I know I look a lot different, my boobs are deflated balloons. He's one of those guys who likes bigger girls and I almost want to stop losing weight now because I like him a lot... but I know that's very crappy/unhealthy thinking. I'm trying not to be so insecure, but I kind of am :( *sigh*

I feel the need to confess:

My husband must weigh more than me AT ALL TIMES!
At my heaviest, I made him gain weight, just so I could be smaller than him.

I'm scared that I will plateau at 175 and never make my goal of 145.

I really, really miss milkshakes. I desperately want one, everyday :-(

Was your friend openly criticizing you? Do you really think she was covertly doing so? Is it possible that she was just being self-conscious and awkward and wasn't deliberately getting on your case, but just talking about whatever was in her own head? Just wondering because I know that when I'm struggling a lot with my weight, I tend to bristle and take things too personally when people around me discuss diets if I'm in a low mood. Moving past that helped me see my weight loss journey as mine and with other people's opinions as irrelevant. It made things a little more bearable and a little less resentful for me. Just offering an alternative perspective, though, of course, you were there and have the full understanding of it all. If you really think your friend was being snarky, maybe she just doesn't deserve as much of your time...? I find that cutting out people who are toxic sometimes helps me feel more in control in everything, including my diet. Anyway, I'm sorry your friend said stuff that made you feel bad. Hang in there! :)

I confess that sometimes I sabotage my efforts to lose weight, even though I would like a hot body, because being armored inside the fat feels safer and less risky. It lets me hide from life, sometimes. I do not like this about myself.

I confess that sometimes, I really don't care at all what shape my body is in and feel resentful that image counts for so, so much. And, that, at other times, I feel revulsion and disgust toward myself for not being more in control and composure and keeping my body in better shape.

I confess that I'm scared to be starting over again on my weight loss; after I lost like 40 pounds, I got really depressed and gained it back and then lost some more and have been yo-yo-ing for a while because I've given in to my depression a little; what if I can't make it stick and fail, yet again?

I confess that I actually have nothing to look forward to that I can use as motivation to lose weight and that it's hard to do this when the only incentive I have is to just look good, which is a vague and nebulous desire that isn't constantly held in my thoughts anyway.

Wow I relate to say many things said in this thread. Many of them make me quite sad. Here are a few of my own.

I confess that I don't believe in the saying "nothing tastes as good as thin and healthy feel" I could go by no food is worth being unhealthy for, but I can think of a few foods worth being fat for.

I hate that people always say fat is unhealthy, there is plenty of evidence that a little fat is fine and may even be protective.

I often wonder why I'm doing this as my metabolic markers, cholesterol etc is all perfectly fine. Then I have to look back at my goals and remind myself why: to see whether my weight is affecting the severity of my arthritis, and to find a good way of eating and exercising for life so I don't get weight related health problems later on. Also to fly rather than trudge up the mountains I love so much

I guess like a lot of people I worry about becoming an obsessed health nut. I find the whole business of weight loss really boing, but at the same time am compelled to read articles/watch programmes about it, especially when I'm trying to stop food cravings. Afterward I feel guilty because I feel its time I could have spent on something more productive.

I avoid the scale for a weeks if I've been off plan, the number still has the power to make me say hurtful things to myself. So I avoid it.

I've used to be jealous of my thinner sisters body, but recently found out we have the same fat percentage (weird) on reflection I have broader hip and shoulder bones and will probably never be as petite as her. Mostly I'm proud she is so beautiful though.

I'm sick of people looking down on heavier people and the forces in society that encourage us to do this. I'm also tired of women feeling worth less because of weight regardless of what else they may have accomplished in life. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Looking really good is really low on my list of life goals. I try my best to avoid being trapped by vanity, but often am pretty vain. Nevertheless I've decided that vanity obsession has become way too acceptable. I'm all for looking presentable, but its easy these days to go too far.

As much as I love hiking, exploring and exercising, your more likely to find me in bed with a good book or watching some tv on a weekend then out and about. One of my goals for the year is to watch less TV

Thanks Neon_zephyr

Yes I do think my friend was just self conscious and had her "diet" on her mind. I'd like to meet up with friends and not have to listen about their personal diet or tips when I didn't ask for tips and never said I wish I could lose weight.

Anyway, the next day I went out to lunch and a different friend asked if there was mayo in my salad. For some reason this also annoyed me, slightly. I think I need to get better at tuning negative comments out. It was just a question but secretly I think she was trying to point out that it was not a healthy choice. Once again this other friend is bigger than me and I never said I was watching my weight or trying to eat healthy, so her question irked me. Then I ordered and ate dessert. Ha!

I like this!! I agree with so many of you!

Ok My confessions are:

As much as I love my thin friends, I swear if I hear them complain about being fat, hello size 1, I might just scream. I did snap at one of them today for saying it again, She was like, I have such a fat ***, I'm like where? I'm at least a 14, possibly more at 5'3. It irritates the crap out of me to hear these women refer to themselves as fat all the time when I truly am!!

It really upset me the other day when my 9 yr old told me I should get some of those "jean type sweat pants" b/c I like sweat pants so much.. No dear, it's because my large self can no longer fit in anything. But thanks for thinking of me.

I love soda a little too much and am scared I won't be able to do this weight loss thing b/c of that love.

I'm mainly dieting/getting "healthy" to look good again. I used to be that size 2 girl, actually I was smaller than that when my husband met me, but I've had 3 kids, that's no longer a reality. I want to be a 6, possibly a 4, but definitely a 6 again. I like my hips and boobs so a 2 is out.

I did this once, but am not sure I can get there again..

Lastly, I want to do this just to prove to my disbelieving mother that I can. She point blank told me that b/c I've had 3 children now, that I'll never be smaller than a 10 again.. I Want to prove her wrong. Just because SHE and my sister never did, doesn't mean I won't..

Oh and one more, I'm sad I let myself get this far. I'm at my all time heaviest now..

Oh My Gosh! My mother-in-law said to my husband 'What happened to Kaitie, she used to be so gorgeous!' and of course she said this so loud that the entire family and our visiting cousins could hear.

Needless to say, I'm still ticked off about it and that was a year ago. :mad:




On a happy note: I just noticed that I got smiley privileges! Yeah! :D

Lol...This...I don't even like the way I look in clothes these days so i'm waiting until I lose weight and am more confident before I start dating again. :dizzy:

When I lose enough weight for other people to notice, I lose motivation.

I'm scared to be thin and beautiful

I feel like a bad mom because of my weight

Just wanted to come back and post that I'm paranoid! The guy and I finally got some alone time last night and it was amazing!!