Ugh! Reading this makes me sad...sad because I do the same thing to myself. You are AMAZING. You have worked so hard and accomplished so much. Don't deny yourself the credit and respect and pride that you have EARNED. 100 pounds means a damned lot and from the pictures I've seen of you on this site...you should feel sexier because you are beautiful!

I feel like we all get so wrapped up in a goal and then when we reach it, there's hardly any time for celebration because we get so focused on the next goal. On the one hand I guess that's a good thing because we keep moving forward but don't you dare discount what you've done so far.

Radiojane, hang in there! You have been one of many inspirations to me on 3FC. Your posts are always thoughtful and intelligent...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, and you have already shown such strength by losing 100+ lbs! You are a motivator! :)

I don't think I could blush much more you guys. Thank you.

I'll get there. This stall is messing with my mind. But I looked at the pictures of me taken at my nephew's birthday this weekend, and while I'm still really big, I didn't immediately want to cry. That's huge progress for me :)

I confess that it blows my mind that any one can find crazy old me inspiring, and I confess that I love 3FC!

Radiojane
u are doing amazing! and u are looking fab!. Us women are always harder on ourselves then we need to be. but 110 lbs is ALOT to be celebrated. I'm only a province away i will celebrate over here for you !

I can TOTALLY relate to both post ^^^^.
Radiojane..... 100 lbs is nothing to sneeze at, you have accomplished what so many including myself strive for everyday! I know regardless of what anyone says/posts you will have moments like this BUT if it makes you feel a teeny tiny bit better at all, please know you have inspired so many and you are beautiful!

ChickieBoom I know your post was in response to Radiojane but just know that it speaks to many and I thank you.

I love this topic
 

This is a great topic, it seems to really speak to the root of my self sabotage:

I feel "uncomfortably comfortable," an oxymoron, I know but that's how I feel at my current weight :dizzy: because:

the fat seems to be a buffer to preventing me from feeling how I would feel when:

guys may give me more attention when I am thinner and I am partially afraid of being viewed as a sex object or getting hurt again

succeeding at something, including weight loss because it seems like the success breeds expectations and attention

SO, those are the big ones for me!

Good topic!

Thanks...

confessions
 

Wow! I've been reading this thread for HOURS... I didn't make it through them all, and I'm sure I'll repeat some, but really wanted to jump in. My gears are turning, and this topic has helped me to realize SO many things about myself that I hadn't before now.... Whether anyone actually reads it or not, I feel the need to GET IT OUT! LOL ... so here goes:

- I confess that I want to be smaller than my Mom. She has never actually come out and said anything rude to me... but the undercurrent has always been there. And since I have started this journey (again), she has made a few remarks about me getting into a smaller size than her. She's always shoved food at me (and my brothers).

- I confess that I think my dh will be a bit insecure if HE doesn't also lose his weight. He says he's trying to be supportive, but it feels more like he's competing with me. And of course he always loses faster than I do.

- I confess that I am ADDICTED to Pepsi. (which my Mom lovingly keeps stocked for me at her house when I come over) I LOVE food. All food. I like to eat, and some part of me feels like its a punishment to deny food... even though I know that I'm doing something better for myself.

- I confess that I HATE food. It makes me feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, dread, anger, sadness, depression, and it would be a whole lot easier to quit this addiction if I COULD just "quit" it.

- I confess that as a SAHM, sometimes I don't want to go anywhere during the day with my youngest son, because I don't want anyone to see me, and I feel ashamed and bloated with the food I've already eaten that morning.


Ok. That's it for now. Mostly because my husband is getting up, and I don't want him to read this. So that's another confession too I guess. :dizzy:


::::sigh::::: Feels good to get that out. TY !!!

hey I am new here love the concept..

Here I go I confess that although I eat plently of nutritious food though out the day I am constantly thinking of sabotaging myself and diving head first into a box of pizza

I am constantly worried what other people are thinking of me and avoid going out in public because I am worried there looking at me thinking eww she's fat..

I am jelous of my neighbour who lost over a hundred pounds, she reminds me of my failure to never loose the weight im carrying.. I avoid seeing her or her seeing me just so I can avoid the feelings when seeing her..

I confess that I absolutely LOVE being in onederland and that it makes me feel guilty about loving it so much. There are so many people that deserve it more than me and they are struggling in other threads.

I confess I considered wasting $30 of my husband's hard-earned $$ (he wouldn't call it "his" $$ but I do since he works his tail off) to buy a pair of Vera Wang skinny capris that I saw at Kohl's today. I felt downright beautiful in them and the $$ really isn't in the budget where I have been changing sizes (26-14 in 9 months, buying clothes the whole time). If I asked him, he'd buy them for me in a second. And I almost did ask. But I don't NEED them, I just want them. I wish I took a picture of the tag for the exact style number.

Why are you so hard on yourself? Who deserves to be in ONEderland more than you? I DEFY you to name one person! ;)

I am curious about something. Your goal says 195, so you're almost there. Will reaching your goal be as satisfying as reaching ONEderland... given that you just recently celebrated that goal of reaching ONEderland? It seems like it will almost be anti-climatic, if that is possible.

I had that happen to me. I started out at 405. So, getting out of the 400s and into the 300s was no big deal. Heck, I did that in the first couple days of my diet. But the 100 pound loss milestone was a big deal. So, I "celebrated" (for a lack of a better term, I didn't have a party or anything) - my 100 pound loss when I was at 305 pounds. Because of that, when I went from the 300s to the 200s, it wasn't as big of a deal as it would have otherwise been, because I had just "celebrated" the 100 pound loss.

Yeah elvislover324...you ABSOLUTELY deserve to be happy in onederland! Why should you feel guilty? You didn't take a magic pill to get there...you worked your ever slimming tail off!

I feel you about the clothes. The smaller we get the less time we spend in a size and therefore it's hard to spend the money. But don't new clothes that fit well feel SOOOOO good! I always feel so neat and put together now. I hate when my clothes start to get baggy but I love it even more.

I confess that my major reason for losing weight isn't to avoid health issues in the future or to help get rid of the ones that I already have, but the fact that I overheard two guys at an event look at their phones and go "Great shot, too bad about the fat girl at the end" and "Don't worry, I'll just edit her out" right after they had taken a picture of me and several of my noticably slimmer friends. I'm tired of being edited out.

I have to constantly fight the urge to run out of the gym when I first walk in. The feeling usually passes as soon as I head through the doorway, and the people that work and regularly go are the friendliest people ever, but the trip from the car and through the parking lot is full of "You should back up and head home" thoughts.

Every time someone compliments me on how I'm starting to look like I'm losing weight, I feel like I need to go and blow everything by eating as much as I can. This new person everyone is seeing still feels like a stranger to me and I'm deathly afraid that I'll lose my sense of self as the weight keeps falling. I can still be the funny, smart, fit friend instead of the funny, smart heavy friend, but I haven't come to terms with that just yet.

Hey you guys!!! :grouphug: I thought I was alone in the confession booth!!! :D

My goal of 195 is to settle my brain down, doing mini 5lb goals at a time. I had myself so worked up I couldn't see straight. So 5lbs at a time to hopefully 160 or pregnancy! I'll take either of those.

IDK why I feel guilty. I had the best 5 days so far in onederland and I have loved every single minute of it, it's actually motivated me MORE this week than any other week as now I want to get further into the 190s and implant myself there. But I was reading some other posts today where people are struggling and losing hope and really, I did breeze through 129lbs now that I reflected on the last 9 months. I thanked my doctor's office so much for helping me get there on my diet and they kept saying that I did the work, not them. But really, without them and all of you, I couldn't have done it. And I feel bad that not everyone has the wonderful opportunities and support system that I do. :(

I confess that I want don't want to quit smoking because I'm scared of the weight gain.
I confess that I used cigarettes as a diversion from food and as an appetite suppressant.....
I confess that I WANT A CIGARETTE SO DAMN BAD right now.
*ugh-*

These will all be pregnancy-related, but weight loss confessions none-the-less. :^:

I confess that I got outright angry when I was told my shirt made me look "too pregnant" earlier this week. Not just at the lady that should have known better (she knows damned well it's too early for me to be showing), but angry at myself in knowing that I still have this overflowing pot belly even after losing 150 pounds. I'm pretty sure that will be the last thing to go on me, and knowing that it's going to get much bigger before I can work on making it smaller again is more depressing than I care to admit. I've never had a waist that curves in instead of out throughout an entire lifetime of either being obese or worse, and after spending 8 years battling for this, it seems farther away than ever. I've worked so hard in order to be comfortable in wearing this shirt in public! This photo will give you an idea, I've lost an additional 10 pounds since the second image was taken yet I still look pregnant when I'm only 8 weeks along. :(

I resent that the pregnancy has zapped me out of my normal eating routine. I understand that I definitely have to eat about 300 more calories per day on top of maintenance, but I didn't expect to be starving all of the time. I thought I had that issue down, that I was in control of my appetite as long as I ate reasonable amounts at my usual times. Nope, not anymore! :dizzy: I'm so hungry upon waking that I'm nauseous. I eat a full, healthy breakfast and I'm starving again in only 2 hours. I eat a snack, and I'm starving an hour before lunch. And by 3 in the afternoon I'm already wanting to tackle dinner. I know it takes extra calories to build the baby and the placenta but this seems kind of ridiculous. I'm so sick of being constantly hungry!

Not that I resent getting pregnant in any way; I've wanted a baby for years and simply can't wait, and I can definitely put up with all the issues that come with the territory. But I feel guilty for acknowledging how frustrating it gets to have to put the brakes on my weight loss. I so wanted to get under 200 this summer and just be overweight, but I'll likely have to put that off for next summer.