I totally understand that.

Initially, I got embarassed that people were freaking out so much, they'd ask how much I've lost and I had to meekly say "15 or 20 lbs". I was still in that 'I don't want you to notice me because that means you've looked at me at my heaviest (eek) and can recognize the slight change'

Once the progress is a little more pronounced, didn't believe anyone who told me they noticed because I was afraid I would get "comfortable", and stop trying so hard.

We celebrate the success, but question the authenticity and duration. Somehow at the same time, we fight the discouragement because change doesn't happen the way we want it to.

Confessions:

Even though I have lost weight, I am more self-conscious than ever of my body. I flattened against a wall the other day in the hallway and the other person passing me asked me what I was doing. The old me would've had to step aside to avoid bumping into them. I felt foolish.

I bought a body shaper to wear under my summer tank tops. It smooths out my uneven bumpiness of my abdomen. I'm so afraid someone will find out and declare me a fraud.

I'm afraid that regardless of how much weight I lose, I will aways look in the mirror and still see my huge belly.

I might be able to help with this one. A pound of fat is worth 3500 calories. If you want to lose one pound you need to create a deficit of 3500 calories below your maintenance level. So if your maintenance calories are at 2100 calories you subtract 500 calories (3500 cal divided by 7 days) then your calorie goal for each day would be 1600.
I hope this helps!

Confessions
 

:(
*I dream of tucking in my shirt and having no pudge above my belt, both in the front and back. And sides.
*I am jealous of my husband who can poop and lose 6#s a day. It's just not natural.
*I am sick of "laughing off" my weight. It isn't funny. But if I don't laugh I cry.
*I am afraid I don't really know how to lose weight. I have gained steadily over time since I was 21. I had2 babies, lost the baby weight, and gained to a point higher than either pregnancy.
*I look at my belly in the mirror, and hope maybe I am really pregnant and just don't know it.
*What if I lose the weight, and am left with a flabby gut that sticks out farther than my chest?

This was eye-opening. I confess:

* When I'm not losing, I feel like it's impossible to lose weight without surgery, and the surgery is both scary and involves a great deal of work on my part, and I don't want this to be the focus of my entire life.
* When I am losing, I am totally and inconceivably "holier-than-thou." The skinny girl that eats the whole pizza and doesn't gain weight? Good for her, but she's not getting the health benefits of the "superior" food choices I'm making and the exercise I'm doing. The fat girl who eats a lot? She doesn't have my self-control. I hate that these thoughts pop into my head, and I don't really believe them. It's so NONE of my business what either or them eat or how much they exercise, but I confess that I think these things.
* I am terrified that I will always and forever be either obsessed with losing weight (and losing out on opportunities to advance in my career, etc.) or that I will be fat and not active enough to be a good parent (and also will be losing out on opportunities to advance in my career). I can't see a middle ground where I will be able to control my weight and do well in other areas of my life.
* I don't see these first 20 pounds as real weight loss. I have never weighed this much in my life, and the 20 pounds were just finishing-law-school stress. They should come off in just a few weeks, right? In fact, why should I have to make any effort at all to get them off?
* As a follow-up confession, I have convinced myself that Slim Fast two or three times a day plus random packets of salmon/tuna and occasional fruits/veggies is a great way to lose weight fast, and maybe even be sustainable for the rest of my life.

And, finally, the big one:
* I have trouble believing that people actually love me / care about me / respect my accomplishments or work ethic when I am this fat. About me - and only about me - I think that fat people can't be smart or accomplished or wonderful. I don't really believe this one at all. In fact, 90% of the time, I'm well aware of how utterly ridiculous it sounds, and I would be beyond furious if someone said it about my sisters or my friends, but I say it to myself all of the time. WTH?

Hmmm... Not sure if saying it made me feel better or worse. But I'm glad I did nonetheless.

I'm back to confess I have been binging, once or twice a week since Easter.

This weekend I started Friday and didn't stop until I literally ate myself sick on Sunday night. I gained 7 lbs in 3 days.

My ticker is completely inaccurate, but I don't want to change it until I have the official number from my weekly weigh in tomorrow.

I am afraid for tomorrow.

- I get frustrated when I plateau
- I LIKE eating junk food
- I have to weigh less than my mom and she's almost at my weight
- I want to wear a smaller size than my sister (1 size more to be the same, 2 to be smaller)
- I hate vegetables
- I have been over-weight since elementary school and considered obese for years
- I am frustrated now

Another that I just thought of:

- I am tired of my feet hurting (I've already had 4 separate surgeries on them) and losing weight will probably help that

I confess:

- That im addicted to the scale (weight myself everytime I go into the bathroom)
- That I want to swim in a vat of icecreams
- That I smell all my husbands food
- That I'll never loose enought weight to be happy

Im not a 30 something (and this isn't my first post here either... I just made a new name that was more anonymous) but I love this thread!

Here goes:
-I want to kick myself for the eating habits I used to have when I was skinny ( I would eat a whole bowl of cream cheese icing and not gain a pound).

-Im jealous of all of my friends because it seems like they lost all their weight after they had their children

-Im ashamed that I am losing the weight this time through a doctor prescribing me appetite suppresents. It works, but I feel like a fraud.

-When I tell people I have arthritis, I feel like they are judging me and blaming the arthritis on me being overweight. I always rush to tell them that I have had it since I was 14 and skinny.

-The reason I am in a hurry to get skinny again is because my sister who has been large her whole life has lost a lot of weight.. I cannot stand the fact that she may eventually get to the same size or smaller than me.

-I feel like the reason that I have struggled with losing the weight post baby is karma. My husband cheated on his girlfriend with me (we were young!!) and she was larger. I would ALWAYS make fun of how big she was and everytime I knew I was going to be around her I would wear the tightest clothes. *Sigh* I wish I could take it all back.

Im a terrible person, but it sure does feel good to get that out :)

I haven't been hungry at all lately for various reasons and worry this may f up my metabolism

I am petrified that someone (in real life, outside this board) will remark on my wt loss. My weight is personal and none of their business.


I worry that I won't be able to start/stick with exercise

I worry that I'll reach my final goal wt and still feel hideously ugly

I miss the built in cushion my buttocks provided for outdoor events. I miss my boobies terribly so. I miss having a easily shaved underarms. I am a little disheartened that I still have no idea how to dress in a manner that flatters my changing form as opposed to knowing exactly what looked good on my old frame.

I totally have this problem. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and still see that girl from 95 pounds ago...and then I'll look at a picture later that day and go "wow, I look pretty damn good."

@ RandomPaige: Labryinth and Star Wars? You rock.

Confession:

Honestly, I am scared at the idea of gaining back weight with a pregnancy if I were ever at the point of having children; so much so that I question if I would ever consider kids.

I'm afraid I won't be able to allow myself cheat days on important milestones like weddings of friends, etc.

I don't know how to dress myself in a way that isn't all baggy. when I do wear clothes that fit correctly, I think I look disgusting.

And probably the strangest: I don't realize my outgoing, "I'm one of the guys" attitude is now looked upon as flirting by a lot of guys.

Confession:
I lost 54lbs in 18wks, got hired to coach other people and in the last year have gained 30lbs.
I HATE that my job is tied to weigh loss but love all my clients.
I eat "wrong" when everything in my world is out of control.
Deep inside I know the reason I gained was to put back the shield of fat so men don't notice me.
Will always have the urge to eat a whole cake by myself.
Want to smack people that eat 3 bites of food and complain loudly how "full" they are.
Some day I want a normal relationship with food.