Well....we had an event at work today and I went totally beserk at dinner and went completely and excessively off plan.
I'm back ON plan now - not going to feel sorry for myself or beat myself up. I fell down and am back up again!
I'm so inspired by the folks who stay on plan ALL THE TIME - I am not there yet. But where I am is nearly 30lbs below my high weight and on my way to Twoderville. I just took a little detour tonight. Damn tourist traps!
I've been lurking elvislover I think your doctor will be over the moon!!!!!!!! I feel the need to make my doctor happy. I feel like a disappointment coming in every year at the same or higher weight, makes me not even want to go.
I can't wait to get to the 270s, it's uncharted territory for me, probably been at least 5 years, maybe 7, like middle of high school. I haven't been eating great foods but I've not been eating a lot to compensate. I finally budged this morning from 318.5-319 to 317.4 after not weighing for several days, woooo
Speaking of doctors and weighing in, I had the same doctor from 7 to 27, and then he moved away. He was so supportive - he took care of my dad, and he never made me uncomfortable about my weight. He actively looked for ways to help me deal with it, and I wish I'd put the effort in when he was around.
That being said, I've booked a return visit to my new doctor - I'm going for physicals every few months just to make sure I don't take anything too out of whack - and I'm looking forward to being 70 some pounds lighter than I was the last time I was there!
Here is my post about today's doctor's appointment. It was one of the first times I didn't dread going to my OB/GYN as even though I still have to lose weight, I didn't gain this time!! I think the tech who did my vitals thought there was a typo in the system and I said nope, I'm down almost 125 since my last visit! It was humbling and exhilarating at the same time...
Nat, my scale, friend, and nemesis, has been on an upward climb the past few days but I've also been off plan a couple days out of the last 10.
It's mostly water, if not all water, but I gotta keep an eye on it so I don't say "F it" and give up.
Hoping my overall for the week ends up at my low for last week, but we'll see! Might not be hitting twoderville as soon as I'd hoped but I know it's there waiting for me.
Elvislover - your post was very emotional for me! I definitely feel how elated you must be - you've done so much for your health and I'm sure what has been a rough year or two has been turned into something completely wonderful - you've really taken a hard hit and have become a better person from it. You are such an inspiration!
When I was 20, after it prolapsed through my cervix causing horrible bleeding, I was diagnosed with a precancerous polyp in my uterus along with complex atypical endometrial hyperplasia, which definitely made me feel like a failure (I know a lot about the human body, it wasn't lost on me that all the excess fat increased my estrogen levels, severely elevating my risk for estrogen positive breast and uterine cancers). I still struggle even nearly 3 years later, I hate taking hormone meds but I also didn't want a hysterectomy because while right now my husband and I are enjoying our kid-free life, I know in a few years we'll be more settled and be looking for "something more". I just wish I could lose all the weight, have normal periods again (right now I don't ovulate or have periods and my oncologist said I probably have PCOS complicating everything), be able to get pregnant whenever I decide I want to without needing to seek a doctor, like a normal person. Some people don't know how good they have it with their monthly gift
So I will be praying for you that you are blessed with a little one - and of course we'll all be excited to hear about it.
I'm still at 317.0 this morning despite margaritas and chips and guacamole for dinner - it was worth it though, a good laugh with my best friends at work over all the things that have been stressing us out the last week - I have today off and I'm feeling great
I've been exercising but I haven't been on a food plan. So I'm just going to cut out as much sugar as I can and use better portion sizes for now. Baby steps.
I'm working out 3 times a week, I can feel myself getting stronger but the weight is just not coming off. So yes, time to work on the food.
Just finishing TOM so weights haven't been accurate.
My sugars are high and I'm not sure why. They upped my metformin and a friend who as been dealing with diabetes since forever thinks it's because its too high now because I'm exercising. So I don't know.
I guess its a constant finding the right thing that works.
Thank you, Jolly. Your post made me want to cry!!! You have been through so much more than me and you inspire me to keep on this fight, this weightloss, everything. And you are right about the cycles, as much as I was glad to not have one on my meds, I can't wait for mine to come back now and maybe be normal (I had so much bleeding before my diagnosis, I spent more than half the month thinking it was my period, it wasn't). I was never diagnosed with PCOS but did show some symptoms. I'm having an ultrasound on my ovaries in a couple of weeks for my IVF and I'm dying to know what it shows for a number of eggs.
The only thing I would say to you (and I know you are very smart with all of the medical stuff!) is not to delay it too long thinking you always have time. I tried to find the perfect time to have a little one (able to be a housewife, mentally ready to take on the challenge of being a mom, feeling like I did enough in my life to settle down a bit and knowing the baby will be the focus of my life forever and that we'd be having 2-3 back to back as I'm not getting any younger. We started trying when I was 35, went to the docs at 36 finally saying what is wrong, found the cancer at 37.)
I would never tell anyone what to do, I'm just trying to pay it all forward now that I had my experience. Life doesn't always happen the way we plan it and if I could go back a few years and change things, I would. I know I can't dwell in the past but my heart is heavy and sad when I reflect. And I know I wasn't ready back then so I did what was right at the time, but that doesn't always make me feel better, you know?
Anyways....lots of hugs to you and thank you for your post to me. I have met some wonderful girls on these threads and you are one of my favorites.
This is one of my greatest fears - not being able to have a child. It's twofold right now: My relationship is in a precarious state, and I'm seriously concerned that I've damaged my body irreparably. There is a history of fertility problems on the side of the family I seem to follow the most genetically (Seriously. I don't think I got ANY genetic material from my bone thin, athletic, beautiful and pregnant every time she took off her pants grandmother on my mom's side, while I'm a virtual clone for the overweight one with diabetes and only two children when she wanted five).
I just don't know if I'll ever get the chance, and I really don't want to find out when I do that I made myself infertile because I didn't care for myself.
All I have ever wanted in my life is to be a mother. As far back as I can remember that is all I wanted. I don't think it will ever happen. I am 31 with not even a prospect of a boyfriend let alone husband. I do not have a diagnosis of pcos but I have a lot of symptoms. I also have symptoms of thyroid issues. When I had insurance every dr wanted to put me on birth control for my issues with my period (I either have it every 2 weeks or go months without it) and anti depressants for any other issues and of course say I was blaming my weight on other things. All I really need is to eat less and exercise more. I get so distraught over being alone and never having kids. It breaks my heart. Any man that has ever shown interest in me thought I was easy and desperate because bof my weight. Not the case. I learned it is better to be alone than with the wrong person.
But it is a journey. Not a dead end. There are always options. IVF, donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogates, adoption.
So don't ever give up. Nothing is a done deal.
Thank you, Ian. Everything I am going through is nothing short of a scary miracle. I got different opinions about how far along my cancer was and took a leap of faith that 2 of the 3 doctors said there was a chance I could get pregnant after taking some medicine for 3-6 months. At 3 months the cancer was still there, at 6 months the meds had attacked it all. So now the ticker starts to hurry up as the cancer will grow back (I can't stay on the meds and try to get pregnant at the same time). I will be a mom someday, just not sure what route it will be. But right now, I'm trying my darndest to make it happen naturally or via IVF. My doctors are all miracle workers and then of course there is the Big Guy upstairs that I talk to multiple times a day or more!
I will say, my weightloss is the BEST thing I could have done for my cancer and my fertility issues. And I want to be a skinny(ier) mom! It's going to be hard enough at 38-39 to give birth, he/she will be running like crazy and I will be turning 40! And there is no better way I'd love to celebrate that milestone, a baby in my arms and smaller jeans.
Please keep me in your prayers, I totally believe in prayer power!!
I also fully believe on the power of prayer. The days I pray all the way to work I had good days. I stuck to my plan and they were good days. The days I didn't I got off track and had bad days till I started praying!
elvislover I think your doctor will be over the moon!!!!!!!! I feel the need to make my doctor happy. I feel like a disappointment coming in every year at the same or higher weight, makes me not even want to go.
