This whole weekend has been pretty bad. Absolutely NO exercise and besides school work, I’ve done nothing. Didn’t see any friends, didn’t go out and walk around. The only exercise I got was from walking up and down the short flight of stairs from the main floor to my room.  I binged on cookies on saturday, ate pretty well on sunday, but today was a disaster!!

I was up late putting the finishing touches on my paper so I woke up very late today (early afternoon!) and finished editing my paper before heading to class. After class, I met up with my friend and we walked around the Eaton Centre then walked to Queen St for some more shopping before stopping at Milestone’s. Because of the stress from my paper, I didn’t have time to eat, so I had my first meal at 9 pm and it was a huge one! We shared a pitcher of yummy sangria and I ordered the steak, I think it was 8oz.  It came with a heap of garlic mashed potatoes and a pitiful selection of seasonal veggies–3 spears of asparagus, 4 yellow baby carrots and 4 cherry tomatoes. To top all of that off, I had their divine, and diabetic attack on a plate, chocolate ganache torte. To make matters worse, when I got home a few hours later, I had some pringles that were in the pantry and polished off nearly half the container.

I logged it all into my daily plate and was so disgusted to see I’d eaten double my suggested daily caloric intake. In nearly one single meal.  And I wonder why I haven’t managed to break out of the 150’s…

I feel like justifying this by saying I earned it after working so hard on my paper this weekend, but I know that’s the wrong mentality to have. That’s the exact type of thinking I’m trying to stop.  At the same time, I don’t want to get too frustrated with myself because ever since I started logging my food into My Daily Plate, it’s been eye-opening. Today was a learning experience. I now know what the best choices are to eat at Milestone’s. It’s pretty slim pickings, but I won’t feel deprived. I also must remember that ganache torte is way too rich and sweet and not at all as good as I’ve been imagining it (I’d been craving it for quite awhile).

So, the downward spiral must stop starting tomorrow (technically today). If only I could get my sleeping pattern on track.  I’m just gonna have to force myself to wake up early tomorrow and get some exercise in to work off these calories!

And now that I’m newly unemployed for who knows how long (my union went on strike), I have my evenings pretty free. Except for the nights I have my new class, which starts on Wednesday. Which reminds me, I need to start doing readings for that class…Ugh!

Hopefully the new biggest loser summer challenge will motivate me to get working out and eating healthy again. It can’t start soon enough!

I barely got any sleep friday night and I haven’t even gone to bed for saturday night (it’s sunday morning now). I’m debating going to bed for 2 hrs but I have to be at work by 1, so it’s probably not worth it.

Why have I stayed up all night? Because that friggin report took FOREVER to finish. Well, I probably would have finished it hours ago, but yesterday my computer kept freezing and I lost a good chunk of writing. In my frustration, I binged on chocolate chip cookies. I didn’t even keep count of how many I had but it was probably like 10.  And I’d done so well all day before that.

Of course the lack of sleep means no exercise because I have no energy and I feel like a complete zombie, but on the bright side, after monday I’ll be free!! for a little while.

In any case, I’ll force myself to exercise starting tomorrow. Today, I’ll focus on eating healthy and avoiding binges. I need to buy some dark chocolate.

I wonder if this post even makes sense. I think I’m a little delerious. Maybe I should get some sleep after all…

I don’t think I’ll be getting any exercise in today. I’ve got a huge paper I have to finish by tomorrow and I’ve barely started!!!! I hate school.

I’m also supposed to go to a bbq tomorrow, which adds more pressure in getting the paper done. I don’t even want to go! It’s supposed to rain all weekend.

Plus I just found out tha I may not even have a summer job. I was supposed to be a summer day camp organizer, but apparently my union is going on strike as of Monday if they don’t reach an agreement over the weekend. And who knows how long that will last. I would have started that job on the 29th and I was counting on the money I would earn to pay for my birthday party I’ve been trying to organize for the last week. Now, I don’t know if I should just cancel it to save my money.

Talk about a major downer. Definitely not motivating stuff. Luckily, I’ve been eating well so far today.

I got the 30 Day Shred dvd, maybe I’ll give it a shot later. But right now I’d better get started on my report.

I think I had my first NSV today. I started week 3 of the C25K program and I actually managed to finish it! I was worried I wouldn’t be able to run for 3 min straight and I struggled with the first interval, but the second one was killer. I thought I was going to pass out.

I tried something new with my run today. First, I downloaded DJBeatsmith’s DJSteveBoy’s podcast. Second, I forgot to put my contacts in and my glasses kept slipping off so I just took them off and was too blind to see the timer on the treadmill.

I was so close to giving up on that second 3 min run. I think if I had been able to look at the time, I would have been able to push myself through it a bit easier than just listening to music waiting for the descending tone.  But that’s besides the point now, because I DID IT!!

On another note, the music in the podcast was really great and motivating. I totally recommend it!

Foodwise, I did pretty well today. I already had about 350 calories to spare before my run and then was nearly 600 calories under, but then I went and had some almond breeze, leftover mac and cheese and a Activia yogurt and am only 60 calories under now.

Oh well, I’m done for the day and I drank more water than ususal so I’m happy.

Tomorrow is my weekly weigh-in day. Let’s hope I’m finally (officially) out of the 150’s!

I bought a training package at my school gym for 10 sessions with a personal trainer. I did a few a couple of months ago but then got busy with exams and the start of my spring intensive courses. Plus, my terrible sleeping pattern of having my days and nights mixed up didn’t help me make the appointments. Anyway, I have a few sessions left and went to the first one in a month in a half today. It was BRUTAL!!

Although I’ve been doing the C25k program the past few weeks, swimming off and on, and pilates, I haven’t done any strength training besides the resistance exercises in pilates. The crazy thing was I thought my cardio vascular strength had been built up enough that I would be able to endure running stairs, but it was tough.

After running up the stairs 2 at a time, my trainer made me do squats then walking lunges. My legs were practically jelly and then she told me to run up the stairs again one at a time and I thought my knees were going to give out on me. They didn’t and I made it, but damn I KNOW I’m going to be sore tomorrow.  Which brings up another interesting realization–I haven’t been sore at all after doing the C25k runs. It must be because I’ve been spending time stretching afterwards.

Well, because I had to rush out the door to the gym, I only had time to eat some fruit and then I had to finish writing a paper before handing it in at 6pm so I didn’t’ eat anything all afternoon. On my way home I was craving pizza, but when I glanced into my wallet I didn’t have any cash, just some change. I figured it was a sign I shouldn’t get any but then I passed by the store and I really wanted some! So I went in, dug around my bag and wallet and found a dollar and some quarters. Turns out it was just enough to buy me a veggie square.
It also turns out, as I found by inputting my foods into my daily plate, a square of pizza has 430 calories!!!!! A square. Not a slice (which has around 580). I was shocked (obviously).  I hope it’s enough to curb my pizza cravings. What a waste of calories. Of course, right now I’m speaking after consuming those calories, so who knows how I’ll feel when I’m hungry again, but I’d like to think this is enough of a wake-up call to keep me away. For a little while at least. Pizza is my favorite food.

But my birthday is in 2 weeks and I want to look decent. A little less pudgy, a more angular face. I weighed in today at 149 lbs, but I’m always fluctuating between 149 and 152, so I’m waiting until I hit 147 before I declare myself out of the 150’s. I have a week and a half to get there so I’d better get cracking!

I’ve been inconsistent the last two months and I figured it was about time I got completely serious about losing this weight. I’m having a huge problem with accountability, but ever since I joined 3FC, I’ve gotten a lot better at staying on track. Hopefully, keeping a blog will help me be accountable, remain on track and lose some weight.

My main motivation to lose all the weight is a possible trip to Cuba or Dominican Republic in December over Christmas break. I’d like to finally be able to wear a bikini for that trip!

Also, I’m entering my last year of undergrad and I’d like to get my confidence back by the time I have to start interviewing for job.  I hate that my confidence has become linked to my weight.  I remember in high school and even in first year university, I was so self-assured and I didn’t pay any attention to my weight. Of course, that was part of the problem. In high school, I exercised without realizing it. I walked home from school 30 mins every day, took an hour dance class every week and swam 3 or 4 times a week in between swimming lessons when I was a swim instructor. Then I went off to school and stopped exercising, had to walk only 10 min to classes and ate terrible greasy, fatty foods.

Oh well, I have to stop making excuses and just learn to change. Last year I tried a super low calorie, low carb diet and I lost about 20lbs then gained it all back as soon as I went off the diet. As much as I’d like to try that diet again, I just can’t do it. I’m having too much trouble resisting tempation and giving up sugar. Besides, there’s no point in doing a diet like that only to gain everything back so easily. This time, I intend to count calories and exercise, exercise, exercise!

I’m still adjusting to eating healthy but I’ve started to get an exercise program going pretty consistently. At least I’ve got cardio going. I’m attempting the C25K program and just finished Week 2 day 3!  It’s kind of crazy the way I really struggled with W2D1 and didn’t think I’d be able to move on to week 3, but then by the 3rd day, the intervals were easier and I have some hope for week 3. I’m also trying to swim regularly again, aiming for 3 times a week, but we’ll see how the next two weeks go.

My spring class ends on Monday, but I have a big paper due for it then and I’m going to be spending the rest of the week trying to get it done. Then my summer class starts on Wednesday and I’ll be starting my summer job as a day camp organizer on the following Monday. So everythings just piling up right now and it’s at times like these when I give up on eating properly and start snacking (more like binging) on sugary garbage.

Wow, this has actually been kinda therapeutic. I’ll have to make sure to post regularly. Maybe I’ll even try posting pics of the food I make.  I love bbq season! So much easier cooking on the grill. And fun!

Well, here’s to a No More Pudge summer! Wish me luck!