Harder to change your feelings than your thoughts…

So today no sugarpacked foods are getting into my tummy. No bread, no pasta, no candy, no nothing. All Bran’s is the only thing allowed, because it doesn’t trigger me and fills me up good. Otherwise, I’m going clean.

Now, despite my “revolution against the fatfright!” post yesterday, I’m feeling very self-conscious. In the past I would compensate messing up by eating very little today, but it only makes me incredibly hungry and is another reason why I can never break the binging cycle. But on Tuesday I’m going swimming, and I hate showing myself in a bikini so I would like to eat very little until then just so I can lose as much as possible (even if it’s just water weight). But I’m trying to tell myself how silly it is to hide away just because I weigh a little too much, that I am allowed to go swimming or do whatever I effin’ please to do. I know that, I do, but it’s a very fresh thinking for me (not even 24 hours old), so my old habits of coming up with excuses to why I shouldn’t go is popping up in my head.

It’s just weight, it’s just weight, it’s just weight…

18 Responses to “Harder to change your feelings than your thoughts…”

  1. sunnygee Says:

    Never say never!!! You CAN break the binging cycle; you just aren’t there yet in your transformation! But don’t ever underestimate yourself that you can’t get there, lil’ sister! :)

  2. Sunny Says:

    Where’d you go, darlin? :(

  3. augustine Says:

    Aw, Sunny!<3 Thank you, and sorry I haven’t been here in a while… I’ve been studying and stayed with my dad’s side of the family for a week (=no computer). I can’t believe it’s been two weeks already! Time sure does fly when you’re under stress. I hope you’re doing well, I’m gonna go rea dup on your blog now<3

  4. Sunny Says:

    phew! Just wanted to make sure we hadn’t lost you. ;) :: hugs ::

  5. augustine Says:

    Oh, no, I’m still in it for the win ^^ *hugs back*

  6. Monex Says:

    One of the most important things you can do for your weight loss goals ..is regular cardio exercise….. ……..The past week since I joined the Y I have been lifting weights and doing cardio exercise. The weight of the fat takes up a lot more room than the same weight of the muscle.

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