The rain has now eased, so what did I do after work? Went for a swim of course - can't keep this little black duck away from the wet stuff. Just doesn't work.
We've had an interesting couple of days since I last posted. The (so called) Regional Manager has managed to upset another couple of people including his PA and they have quit. One may return but the other has just vanished and is not answering phones or anything. I walked into the office yesterday AM and the PA was in tears and the other guy was walking around in circles cursing and swearing and then just plain disappeared.
The rain was so heavy that it closed roads due to severe flooding and managed to flood out a couple of houses as well. It doesn't just rain gently up here, it buckets down.
Today is a little drier and that means that we can all go outside and play without the wetsuits and snorkels today!!
Happy, hope that tooth comes right. Mel could be right about the antibiotics. They can affect you until they pass right through the system and even then they kill off the good bacteria along with the bad bugs and it takes days to come right! The SBD is certainly popular. It does seem to have some good ideas though and apart from a bit of bread and a few other carbs missing from your diet, it doesn't seem to be too hard to follow as most other food groups are catered for. That's what I like a plan to be - sensible eating and nothing much is forbidden. I know it has done well for Ruth and many others on the threads. I'm sure you can find something that will be tasty and nutritious for both you and DH. Portion control is the thing I strive for. It is my worst enemy and like in the States, there are places here where portion control is inconceivable. It is such a waste!!
MEL, you really are struggling with this mob for your full retirement plans. Stick with it lady, it will happen. They are stunned at the moment to find out exactly how much you do. I bet if you kept an accurate log of your daily activities you would knock them for a six with your multiskilling talents!.
Teel I hope those flood waters don't rise over your way. It's so awful when water invades your house. Apart from the emotional anguish, there is the smell, the mud, the destruction of much loved items and precious memories. It's horrible. We have a few people in that boat up here today, slushing the water out of their homes.
Well best go check out the journals and then take myself off for a walk down the foreshore and get some fresh air. I went to the gym on Thursday and did some weights and some treadmilling. However the treadmill kept stopping and putting up a message saying I was working the belt too hard!!!! Give us a break, I hadn't even worked up a sweat!!! There were no other treadies free at the time so I gave up and went back to the apartment. It's been to wet to do anything else outside since until today. I'll try to get back to the gym tomorrow morning.
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Hmmm... seems I have to make up some T-shirts for Teel and Mel that read "Never settle for less than you deserve". What colors are flattering to you ladies? I think the older we get the more we have to stand up for ourselves especially in a system where they want more and more and give less and less in return. Just I'll get you all fired up and motivated. I also know all the words to the rallying song "We shall overcome" and we already know that Mel herself is quite the singer. I can't keep on key and can project my voice rather loudly so they may give in just to get me to go away.
Sounds like you have had quite the week Shad with rain and tears and mud and storms of all sorts. I don't think you are odd for jumping in the pool. It's wonderful cardio exercise and your description the other day sounded just heavenly. Besides with your head in the water it's sort of solitary and calming too. Just what you needed. I hope that after doing such a whiz bang job on the selling floor that Mr. Regional Manager does not think he has an ace in his pocket with you as a substitute for those he has worked into a frenzy of frustration. Of course it also sounds like the man could use a good bit of sense delivered in your no nonsense style. If that occurs, have it filmed and I will pay for a copy - import tariffs and all. (And then you can sneak me in a bag of Jaffas - no wait, I can't eat them for a while ) Also got a giggle out of your breaking down the treadmill. I know some of them are in sorry shape at the hotels but in the gym???? Those weight routines of yours must be making you quite the muscle woman
And I think Shaker is still enjoying her holiday weekend. Teel are you and Holly keeping warm and dry?
I did my exercise today shoveling snow. Did most of it right after DH left for work but left a bit till lunchtime as I have no desire to fall over faint in the driveway and have DH think I'm a speedbump in the road. The morning stuff wasn't too bad but by the afternoon it had started to warm a bit and that stuff was wet and HEAVY. The neighbor was out for his walk and said to me, "why bother, it's only going to snow more". And that it will as they are talking about more of the stuff next week. The gutters are iced and when the sun comes out like today they start to drip, drip, drip. We have quite the display around the house. I tried to break some of them off with the shovel but have to be careful not to knock the gutters down completely as I actually did one year - DH blamed it on the heavy ice but we both knew better and he wasn't asking and I didn't tell
Looks like Saturday is take care of chores day. DH wants to go to the Butterfly garden on Sunday. He contacted the museum and sent some of his pictures. They replied back that they are very interested in them for some possible promotions. He wants to take a trip there to see what's "in season" right now and round out his porfolio. I said I'd go too though I know it will be 4 hours of sitting in the steamy, tropical room watching my glasses fog up waiting for him to get "perfect shots".
I have decided after this week of partially following SBD that I am going to skip induction and go right to phase 2. Induction is strict, boring and no fruit at all. It's meant to detox your taste buds from bad carbs and give you a jump start on a rapid weight loss - up to 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I've been pretty much de-carbing since the beginning of the year and I found that after a week without any fruit at all, my system is not happy. I picked up some beautiful strawberries and blueberries at the store yesterday and tomorrow I intend to have a nice breakfast. Berries are allowed on the diet in phase 2 thank heavens. Even one serving a day will satisfy me I think. DH has been good and keeping to plan all week but he said he only lost one pound. I tried not to snicker. All those years of us arguing about me gaining weight and the struggles I've had to take it off when he just would lose 5 pounds with a good sneeze. Payback.
I'm off to bed, hoping you all keep warm and safe and dry and have a fun weekend in between the chores.
Well the sun has come out to play in between the rain we have had for a few days!
I am sorry but I haven't any news really and I am sure I will not have lost any weight when I weigh in on Monday. I can't be bothered at the moment. What a disaster area I am.
Glad you have not been washed away, Shad. The weather sounds gross over there. Not nice you having to work on a Saturday 'cos of nature having a bash. The radio news and weather has just announced that East Anglia may see sleet and snow in the high winds overnight. Wonderful....(not.) It does feel quite cold even sitting in the study
Sorry but I feel like a moan!! back is painful and I have had a bit of chest pain. Not as bad as before Christmas but a nuisance all the same. I see my pain consultant at the end of the week. Hopefully he will have a good trick or two up his sleeve 'cos I'm fed up with all of it at the moment.
I think I had better go or I will send you all barmy!!
Good wishes for the rest of the weekend, everyone, and take care.
7AM and just rolling over when firemen galore start knocking on the door. Bashing would be a better word though! Anyway, we are having problems with the alarm system and it called the fire dept all by itself!! Of course they see no humor in this and I realize they could have been needed elsewhere but...... They were all over the bldg., the alarm men too and everyone finally left a little while ago. So I locked the joint up and hopefully am done for the day. I think the alarm men will be back on Monday as the "boss" said she will call them again. No one found anything wrong after all these hours. OH well..... but the VIEW WAS NICE FOR THESE TIRED PEEPERS!! OH I want to say the eyes are feeling better for 2 days in a row. I'm using the Olay facecloths several times a day and a moisturizer and I think the combo is working. But there are some skin issues that still need attention. 1 dry patch is being stubborn still. Maybe I'm rushing it!!Well I am going to keep !! While this fiasco was going on I moved a small bookcase into the livingroom and filled it with grocery overstock. I suppose I should hide the whole thing with maybe a tablecloth or a small throw. Looks funny seeing cereal and soap, etc sitting next to me but there was no room at the inn! I even got all the recycles together and started cleaning kitchen and bath. Amazing how looking at a bunch of cuties can get me moving all over the place
Shad~ This has been one **** of a trip! I can hardly wait for the next installment!! I have to hand it to you that your exercising has gone so well even with the bumpy roads you've been over this week. It's a b*tch being a multi-tasker huh? Hope you get some fun into the trip too! What exactly were you doing to that belt anyway! They'll be sending you to jail for treadmill abuse!! I hope the person that was crying wasn't a man. I would have started to cry too! I hate to see a grown man cry!
Happy~I look just lovely in blue! Sad to admit but I have never been a big person for saying no to begin with. So this is a long over due life lesson for me. I have been too passive for too long. My Gram was the same and she raised us. Funny how you can be so strong and not be able to say no.
Well this girl is learning the two letter word now. I have seen your hubby's pics and adored them. He had some great shots!! I realized the other day they were his. I had forgotten. (couldn't find a butterfly!) I liked the "gutter" story. Never admit anything!
Teel~ Sorry to hear about the pain situation. I hope you get some relief soon. Is it constant? I don't know all your situation over there. I should have read back a few pages but with the eyes, i skipped that part and just dove in here. Does the winter/rain make things worse? i have pain from tiome to time but it is usually tolerable. I have codeine/tylemnol for the bad times but haven't used many last year and none this year. Maybe I shouldn't brag!! It may jinx me! Snuggle up with a good book? and stay warm. Hope you feel better soon.
Well kids.... I've been in the sandbox playing long enough. Don't want to wear out the welcome! I have more energy to get rid of and there is plenty of things I can use it on! I also need to take a shower and clean off the bed so I can go to sleep tonite!! Have a wonderful weekend and stay well.
Oh *~#^$!! I'll start that again as I lost the first post I had started!
It is blowing a gale here today and thus feels a lot colder than the recorded 6 degrees. Holly seems to like being out in it, although I am not sure it is the fresh air that beckons or the chance to see if the neighbouring felines are out to have a noisy battle with!
My body is being very annoying today. I have had a bout of collitis since 23:50hrs last night, and it is still being a right pain in the you-know-where now.
Mel, you seem to have had a few adventurous hours last evening with hunky firemen charging around all over the place. Shame it was the aggro of a faulty alarm that brought them to your door!!
Shad... you will soon be charged for fitting a new treadmill belt if you keep tiring out the old one :treadmill: Try not to wear yourself, or the treadmill, out!
Happy, did you have a breakfast today? I am too much of a coward to try a low carb diet. I know lots of people have lost huge amounts of weight on the Atkins diet, but I think the SBD is a gentler one to do.
Holly is feeling very misheivous this afternoon, she has asked to go out again but I am being mean and have opened the blinds of the study window so she can look out and survey the garden instead! Every time she goes out she must roll in the grass... she always comes in wearing at least half the lawn
Mel, so you know what I am screaming and shouting about, here is a quick precis of "life in the body of Sheila Monk" (a.k.a. Teel!) I am an insulin dependant diabetic, and have had an Epstein Barr Virus (similiar to M.E.) for 18 years or so. I was born with a scoliosis of the spine and over the last 15 years approx. I have had a lot of pain in my lumbar spine with associated leg numbness and pain which has drastically reduced my mobility so now I can only walk very slowly and not very far. The sensation in my legs is altered after I have been on my feet for as little as 10 or 15 minutes. Because of this, I was given early retirement due to medical grounds. 2years ago I caught a virus which wiped out 74% of my heart muscle, leaving me with heart failure. The optimum treatment is a heart transplant. And so I had to at least 21lb off which I did manage before November 2003, but then disaster struck and I am flailing about in the quicksand. And so every so often I get really badly depressed and have been admitted to a psychiatric hospital a couple of times. And there you have it!
On that subject, Shad, my friend who e-mailed you from The Priory last time, is moving to London.....so I don't expect I shall see her very often now.
Well I think that is quite enough from me...time to wash the sand off my feet and give someone else some room in the sand tub, hee hee!!!
Teel girl you leave me speechless. You've got one **** of a hand of cards to play. My heart goes out to you. I don't understand the "disaster" part. Is that the heart transplant part or something more. Am I too nosy? Just smack me. My Gram and Stepmom used to say that "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride". For many years I never fully understood that cliche then one day it dawned on me. Since then I have tried to live for today and not waste too much of it. I spent too long secretly wishing for a miracle and dreaming. Now when I get depressed I tell myself that "Maybe in my next life I can do....." and I just go on from there. After Jen was born and they told me there was something wrong with "us" I thought I would die right there in that hospital. But since that day I have tried very hard to never look back and to have no regrets. I stick to this as it's the only way I seem to be able to deal with it all. Some days are good and others aren't. I ignore the bad ones as much as I can but I have not got the degree of severity that you have so it's easier to ignore. I can only say that Life is not always fair but I hope you get your fair share of sunshine and happiness. So scream all you want!! I used to really fight it all but...... one night I couldn't roll over by myself and I woke up and cried. I got someone to help me fix a rail thing to my bed till I could get a power bed and the next night it happened again but this time I started to laugh. I don't know why but laughter came to me and has not left me yet. Now when stuff happens, I start laughing at the futility of it ALL. Maybe I'm losing my mind and don't know it but laughter is better than tears and I sure as **** was tired of crying. Why am I telling you this? Guess it's a long way of saying that we all have some burdens to carry. Some bigger than others but know that you are not alone in this world with yours. I send you ((((((((hugs)))))))))) cause I don't know what else to send you. OH and by the way, Holly is a cat?? LOL I thought it was a sister or a friend!
Holly is the dog!!! You'll see a photo of her on the English Tour pics on webshots.
Gotta go, be back later with the fun and laughter of North Queensland.
Hi Ladies, yes I have returned from a long w/end filled with long hot days and stuff... I went to my very first Ice Hockey game on Fri night - 1st game becuase it is not a popular sport here and it isn't advertised much. Anyway the Ice Blacks (NZ team) were playing the Sydney IceDogs (good name for them cause they were!) and boy what an eye opener, was the best fun the kids and I have had for a while, they were riveted to their seats as was I.. couldn't understand any of the rules but figured some of it out as we went along. Was a draw and we went to leave when I thought best check with this man next door and he tells me there is another period to go!!... eeks so we sat back down and enjoyed the rest. Took about 2 hrs to get one hour of play??? Anyway we shall go again we said and take DH this time (he was at work).
So Sat was sports for DS which was good and then DD had her hip hop dance class.. hardcase watching a bunch of 5-6yr olds dance, she loved it and I found it amusing so we will return.. as long as they don't ask Mum's to join in that could be a bit tragic!!!
On Sun we mucked around and were goign to the park but it started raining so just went home and watched the Black Sox win the world champs for Softball, so that was great.. DS wants to play softball for New Zealand so only about 15yrs to go for training..
Shad the treadmill sounds liek fun, perhaps they should run them all past you before being OK'd to hire out to some of us!!... that would be a good job.. I am going to ww tonight for my weigh-in.. I can only say that for me low-carb does make a difference but exercise makes the biggest difference of all.. the week before I stuck to my plan and lost a little bit and this week I have been sticking to the plan and exercising and I know I have lost this week so will be interesting to see the scales...
Teel and Mel hats off to both you ladies, makes some us feel a big insignificant complaining about a few muscle aches and pains when there is some major going down in other places of the world!!! Best fly am off to training for my new role, same place but now am goign to do Project Team Leading.. is OK cause I am the only one in the team..
OK girls I'm off to get washed and dressed!! Leaving in a few hours and want to be good and dry by then!! Hope you all have a wonderful day and take care.
Shaker~ Sounds like the weekend went very well and a good time was had by all! Maybe hop dancing can be your new cardio exercise!!! Of xcourse...We'll have to get pics of you doing this dance! lol
Well I better move the butt and start the routine. Happy Monday to all and stay FOCUSSED!!
Here it is Tuesday already and I am almost missing in action again. So I have stopped work until I get this post away.
Yesterday and today I have been in Innisfail an hours drive from Cairns helping out and doing training here. What a mess this place is. Staff morale (what staff are left that is) is below zero and I am training new people. The cutover to the new system is now only 4 days away and they are losing the last remaining staff member with any length of service or knowledge on Friday. The two new staff members are imminently capable of doing their job, but their knowledge of the plumbing trade is very limited. The showroom is a shambles and the cobwebs make the ones in my spare room pale into insignificance! There is no showroom people here to get it going. There's more bad news as well, but I'm depressed enough about it here so I will go and count Tee Pro-fits in the stockroom to get myself cracking again. Tee Pro-fits??? Well I know what they look like, but have not much idea about what they do apart from the fact that they are connectors!!
Went to gym last night again. This time I got a treadmill which didn't object to my weight or workout. Actually there was a giant of a bloke stumbling along on that treadmill and it never kicked him off at all!!!! Does that say something about me? Anyway I did my weights and 20 minutes on the treadie and find that I can now run 2 x 3min bursts at 8Km per hour (thats about 5miles per hour I think) and do 2.4km in the 20 minute session I allot myself. Don't know if I am losing any weight but I think the shape is changing! Actually there are some strange things happening - like the flab is moving out of small pockets leaving these (sort of) holes in the baggy bits of the hips and back and the skirt of flab that hangs in the front. One breast now appears to be much larger than the other - ones definitely a 16 the other a 14!!! So I feel a bit shapeless but no longer so saggy baggy. Guess there is good and bad in that hey? Anyone have any explanations???
Okay, best go and get these people started on their daily exercises. See you all later.
Be good or be careful.
DO A LITTLE DANCE
MAKE A LITTLE LOVE
GET DOWN TONITE
GET DOWN TONITE!........LA LA LA
Can we all tell Mel is happy?? New sinus meds, zyrtec refill, and new eye drops to try. Also an appt with a NY specialist that comes to NJ on March 3rd. He's supposed to be a top-notch allergy dermatologist. So maybe folks- we are going to get somewhere. My pharmacist is having a fit that they are taking so long and gave me good advice before I left. He agrees with me that the rosacea is moving into both eyes now(on and off) and 1 ear. Today the eyes are bad again But I have great hopes on the combo of pills and new drops. I mean what more can I do?? they say they are treating 3 conditions at the same time with a possible 4th thrown in for good measure. The pharmacist and I agree to give them till the next appt in March and then start screaming to someone new! It's a huge hospital and very up to date. The Head Dr today said it's very complicated to treat this without setting the other things off. This figures! Nothing I ever do is half *ssed!! With me it's all the way or nothing. BUT THIS GUY REALLY LISTENED AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR THAT. HE REALLY HEARD ME. Ok chickies. Better go and eat something. This was not a good diet day!!
Shad~ When I read your posts I miss being where the action is. There is something about being able to "fix" things and working well in a crisis that kept my blood flowing. I will miss that part of it! I always liked being the "one" to always get things going. It was a great high!! But the streess of it was killing me But Im did thrive on it for many years and I have withdrawal symptoms now! If I hadn't made the committment with you to do the healthy eating thing, I would probably be stuffing my face every day with carbs to dull the pain of retirement Accountability is where it's at for me. I needed someone to "report" to! Hope you get their arses all straightened out. and I hope they recognize your worth! Tee connectors!! Even I know what they are!! Have a nice day when you wake up!!
Hi ladies, just a quick post, had a successful evening and lost 600 - for me that is good because I am not far from goal and it comes off very slowly!!! DD came with me again, she is watiting for that all important bookmark you get at the 5kg loss stage.. since she is a bit of a scholar she thinks that is a fantastic prize.. bless that child she keeps my motivation up somedays - just as I reach for the chockie she says to me, well you won't get a gold star this week will you..
Shad you are a good lady trying to up the moral as well as teach, they should give you a medal for what you do sometimes. I am doing the job of 2 people now and love being so busy, although I have realised the only way to get tradesmen to do stuff is hassle them day and night!!!!
Bye for now I have to run - we are going for a smorgy tonight as is MIL's 50th, so have got a good plan to only have soup, seafood and salad.. no desserts.. fingers crossed for me to be a good girl!!
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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Hi ladies,
Sorry I've been MIA. I needed some time away from the computer to get myself back in gear again. And that I have done. I never was a planned, organized person but now I realize that is exactly where I need to be if I am ever going to be successful and content within myself.
Lots going on here over the last few days. Gee, miss a few posts and it's almost impossible to catch up.
First of all I will never complain again. After the last few weeks I have a new understanding of what people must deal with when they are in intense pain like you Teel or just frustrated at not finding the right treatment like you Mel. I am not a person who gets depressed but I can understand how dealing with something that just overtakes your entire waking moments can really put a dark cloud on your whole perspective. It is good to have friends and a support group.
Guess I will start backwards with "catch ups". Congrats Shaker on your loss for the week and getting ever closer to goal!!!! Ice hockey is big on this side of the pond. We have a joke here that we went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. Most people go for the fisty cuffs action. Our friends up north in Canada LIVE for hockey. They are probably the most gung ho fans in the world. I have always wondered how they can be so agile with so much padding on their uniforms. My brother was a very gentle person in life but he became Mr. raving maniac when he played hockey for sport.
Mel, I don't know much about rosacea but didn't realize that it can also infect your eyes. I am so happy that you found a doctor who will listen to you and is willing to try some new treatments. I really, really hope you find some success and relief. And even if you give up on your current job, I'm sure you will make yourself busy finding something else that is more worthwhile of your attentions.
Shad, Ms. Fixer of all things - just WHAT is going on at that company you are at that so many people are leaving. Is it just this area and the result of the poor management of the regional guy? Sounds like you better do your thing and hurry out of there before they lock you in a shower stall and hold you captive until you agree to run the local stores!
Teel my dear, life sure have given you a giant sack of lemons to carry around with you. Must make you wonder at times why you have been given more than your rightful share instead of bits being divied up amongst a whole lot of people. I know it must be hard to keep your spirits up but you must, if for no one else than Holly and this fine group of ladies here that will not give up on you. When I was in great pain I did some hot soaks in the tub with some nice smelling bath salts - close my eyes and do some deep breathing and try to move outside of the pain. I also would light a candle and watch the flame flicker (I don't have a fireplace at home). Would put on some soft music and again, try to relax as everything was tensing up terribly. And I'm also sorry to hear that your friend is moving to London. Perhaps she can go ahead and find some nicer bits for you to tour when you plan your trip in the spring.
I am down 2 pounds for the week and full on the South Beach Diet now. I feel like I'm not getting enough food at times but am trying to sort out true hunger from cravings. I can see the difference already in how I feel cutting out the bad carbs, fats and sugars. And I am having occasional wistful cravings, especially watching the television with all the food commercials. My house is pretty much de-junked so all I can do is think about binges and not act on them as there is nothing to binge on except spinach and veggies. I got some lovely plums at the market Saturday. Can't wait until they ripen as they are one of my favorite treat foods. I still need to get rolling on the exercise though and have made my plans for that.
Guess this is enough for one night. Have a Terrific Tuesday.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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DH said he lost 1 pound. Then he weighed on the weekend and said he lost 3 pounds. Then he said his weight fluctuates I think men don't have the scale fixation that we do. I think part of his problem is that he only drinks about 2 glasses of water a day. I told him how much I drank and he said "no wonder you are always in the toilet". One-der-land is within my reach. I must be good, I must be good, I must be good. At least I know there will be no chocolates on my pillow this Valentine's Day though I do expect I'll be getting some pretty flowers.
I'm back
Give us a break, I hadn't even worked up a sweat!!! 
I'll get you all fired up and motivated. I also know all the words to the rallying song "We shall overcome" and we already know that Mel herself is quite the singer. I can't keep on key and can project my voice rather loudly so they may give in just to get me to go away. 
delivered in your no nonsense style. If that occurs, have it filmed and I will pay for a copy - import tariffs and all. (And then you can sneak me in a bag of Jaffas - no wait, I can't eat them for a while 
) Also got a giggle out of your breaking down the treadmill. I know some of them are in sorry shape at the hotels but in the gym???? Those weight routines of yours must be making you quite the muscle woman 
- DH blamed it on the heavy ice but we both knew better and he wasn't asking and I didn't tell 
in between the rain we have had for a few days!
It does feel quite cold even sitting in the study 
back is painful and I have had a bit of chest pain. Not as bad as before Christmas but a nuisance all the same. I see my pain consultant at the end of the week. Hopefully he will have a good trick or two up his sleeve 'cos I'm fed up with all of it at the moment. 
everyone, and take care. 
Firemen, firemen everywhere!!
!! While this fiasco was going on I moved a small bookcase into the livingroom and filled it with grocery overstock. I suppose I should hide the whole thing with maybe a tablecloth or a small throw. Looks funny seeing cereal and soap, etc sitting next to me but there was no room at the inn!
(couldn't find a butterfly!) I liked the "gutter" story. Never admit anything! 
with hunky firemen charging around all over the place. Shame it was the aggro of a faulty alarm that brought them to your door!! 
Try not to wear yourself, or the treadmill, out!
breakfast today? I am too much of a coward to try a low carb diet. I know lots of people have lost huge amounts of weight on the Atkins diet, but I think the SBD is a gentler one to do.
Teel girl you leave me speechless. You've got one **** of a hand of cards to play. My heart goes out to you. I don't understand the "disaster" part. Is that the heart transplant part or something more. Am I too nosy? Just smack me. My Gram and Stepmom used to say that "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride". For many years I never fully understood that cliche then one day it dawned on me. Since then I have tried to live for today and not waste too much of it. I spent too long secretly wishing for a miracle and dreaming. Now when I get depressed I tell myself that "Maybe in my next life I can do....." and I just go on from there. After Jen was born and they told me there was something wrong with "us" I thought I would die right there in that hospital. But since that day I have tried very hard to never look back and to have no regrets. I stick to this as it's the only way I seem to be able to deal with it all. Some days are good and others aren't. I ignore the bad ones as much as I can but I have not got the degree of severity that you have so it's easier to ignore. I can only say that Life is not always fair but I hope you get your fair share of sunshine and happiness. So scream all you want!! I used to really fight it all but...... one night I couldn't roll over by myself and I woke up and cried. I got someone to help me fix a rail thing to my bed till I could get a power bed and the next night it happened again but this time I started to laugh. I don't know why but laughter came to me and has not left me yet. Now when stuff happens, I start laughing at the futility of it ALL. Maybe I'm losing my mind and don't know it but laughter is better than tears and I sure as **** was tired of crying. Why am I telling you this? Guess it's a long way of saying that we all have some burdens to carry. Some bigger than others but know that you are not alone in this world with yours. I send you ((((((((hugs)))))))))) cause I don't know what else to send you. OH and by the way, Holly is a cat?? LOL I thought it was a sister or a friend! 
But I have great hopes on the combo of pills and new drops. 
I mean what more can I do?? they say they are treating 3 conditions at the same time with a possible 4th thrown in for good measure. The pharmacist and I agree to give them till the next appt in March and then start screaming to someone new! 
I think men don't have the scale fixation that we do. I think part of his problem is that he only drinks about 2 glasses of water a day. I told him how much I drank and he said "no wonder you are always in the toilet". 
