Hi, everybody! I am still here; I've just been having trouble logging in and staying logged in. My messages have been getting deleted. I fixed my cookie settings after posting a help message to Suzanne, so I am hopeful now things will be better.
Just to let everyone know that hubby finally got the call about his job on Wednesday--HE'S 100% HIRED!!!!!
Thank you, God!! There isn't a set start-up date yet, but he will be called when it is time. He was told to check in at the beginning of February if he hadn't heard anything before then. That is such a load off my mind. I was really starting to lose it
--too much unemployment over the years. I just couldn't take it any more.
I've had another piece of information about my status at my school. I will be teaching there for the rest of the school year. This week some very bizarre events took place. First, I heard on Wednesday the teacher whose place I am taking wants to come back. The principal has told her she must not come back on a part-time basis (what this teacher wants to do), that she has to wait till she can come back full-time. There are various reasons for this, the first of which is the children. The other teacher and I are completely different in our teaching styles, and it would be very traumatic for them to have daily interruption in their schedule. Anyway, she could come back as early as two weeks from now, depending on what she decides. That made me sad
because I have become attached to my first graders, and to the school routine, and even though I will be there full-time next year, I didn't want to leave my little ones so soon. Moving on in the bizarre--shortly after I learned this teacher was coming back, I learned that the teacher who was leaving at the end of the year for retirement (and who I am being hired to replace) had suddenly become very ill and was in the hospital in ICU. I was shocked and sad to learn about this, and at the same time thought that maybe I wouldn't have to leave the school so soon after all (maybe they would need a long-range sub to take her place while she was getting better, or maybe for the rest of the year if she decided to retire early because of her health). I let the principal know I would be available to help if she needed it, and she told me she was already thinking that same way. Later in the day, she did tell me that when the first grade teacher did come back, I'd move to the other classroom for the other lady for the rest of the year. Anyway, here's the really difficult part of the whole situation--later that day, the sick teacher died!!!!! I didn't know her well, but she was a close friend of my hubby's brother's wife, which is how I originally met her a number of years ago, and she had even talked to me about her own retirement and that I should look into the opening at the school. It's so weird that's she's gone so fast, and even more weird that I benefited by her sickness and death. Yes, I wanted a job, and yes, I was glad I wouldn't have to leave the school so soon because I really like it there. But to get a job because someone dies!!!!!--that is very creepy. I don't know how to feel about it.
I guess it's not an easy thing, and one feeling doesn't really cover it. I am very sad and feel the loss of this lady. I feel sad she doesn't get to retire and enjoy her life in some leisure (her hubby died about 2 1/2 years ago). But at the same time, I am glad I get to stay in the school because I feel it's where I belong now, and I didn't want to leave after the first grade teacher came back. I also feel guilty for being happy about my good fortune because it comes at someone else's expense. The only thing that really helps me resolve those feelings at all is when I think of that old song/biblical reference: "There's a time for everything under heaven." I can only look to God's plan and think that it was this lady's time to go home to heaven, and that God was calling me at this time to a new direction in my life, which is this job. I guess it was just time for it all to happen. I feel a very strange mix of feelings though.
The principal is a very sensitive woman, I must say. After school yesterday she came to talk to me to ask me how I was doing. I told her I really didn't know the deceased teacher very well, but that I was feeling very strange at how I am getting this job, not realizing that was what she was referring to when she asked me how I was. She knew it was a very weird position for me to be in. I am glad to have that type of support.
:
Anyway, getting on to food--I've not been doing well at all this week--eating cookies
--not many, but for me any can be too many--cravings. Last night in the middle of the night I had quite a lot of pretzels.
I think it was the stress
of the week, and I had/have a migraine headache
as well. I did discuss with hubby about me going back to my Atkins-like program after he was hired, so I am going to take advantage of that now. I really want to get back on track. Perhaps the new beginning in my life can also include a me who weighs less and feels healthier.
Well, ladies, I am so sorry I have gone on and on like this.
As you know, I am a frustrated writer
who sometimes works out her problems through words.
Thanks for bearing with me, and even if you look at this huge post and think to yourself, "
Oh, my goodness--there she goes again!!----that's too much for me today!"--you've helped me deal with life and food just by the fact that you give me permission to talk. I hope everyone is doing okay. I miss the posts, though I've read from Miki and Cyan. It has to be the winter blahs. I know I feel like hibernating at times myself during this time of year. Take care. Bye for now.
Oh thank goodness its Friday!
I just tried to post and got "unlogged in", and my post was deleted!!!!! 
I spent a long time on it too! 
which I will walk through the urge...so dinner...hm what to have..I think I will have tuna ...we shall see.
its rather lonely in here all by myself.
