NELLY ~ DH's doctor(s) told him they don't want him to drive anymore; and the specialist was firm about that. It isn't that he can't drive. Your SM is correct about what she is saying; it is their reflexes in emergency situations that the doctors are most concerned about. It is very possible the neurologist told her this too, becuz her concerns sound the same.
In our case, DH gets out any time he wants; he has 3 bikes to zoom around in. I'm the one who is stuck at home (with my furry boy). I am presently saving up to buy myself an electric 4-wheel scooter, so I can get out and about, but they are expensive and I'm almost there ...
It is hard to judge how someone is doing when you just have a short visit with them; some people didn't notice DH's issues at first either, but once you spend more time with him in the home, or they are tested -- then you see how much they can't recall. Plus, the tests show over time, what is lost.
It wasn't until people spent more time with DH that they started to notice that he couldn't remember simple tasks like measuring; and he can't recall people's names or where they live -- I'm talking about people he knew a long time (actually, he doesn't remember some of them at all). He can't recall phone numbers or addresses, but this has always been an issue for him; it just got worse. He can't even tell you who our Prime Minister is right now or the day of the week. So now he gets up and asks me what day it is and again several times throughout the day; becuz it bothered him that he couldn't recall that.
Yes, we all forget things as we get older, but what your Dad probably means is that he can't remember things that he used to be able to recall. That is the big difference -- DH used to know those things/people by name. Over time, if there is a steady or sudden decline; that is something that has to be taken seriously. It is a sign of a bigger problem.
You know, it is possible that it is your Father who wants to stay at home; maybe HE doesn't want to go out like he used to. Maybe HE is embarassed by his memory problem like my DH is -- he used to ask me not to tell people about it. Maybe the adopted DD thing is just an excuse THEY are using so they don't offend you when your Father doesn't want to go somewhere. I know many people who make up bogus excuses to get out of social situations they don't feel comfortable in anymore.
I hope things go better for them both; she must be worried about herself as well, with that family history. So, I will ^pray^ for them both.
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 07-10-2012 at 07:47 PM.
PRAYER REQUEST ~ BOB BLACKBURN; multiple myeloma cancer for the 2nd time, attacking his back, jaw & hip; presently getting chemo treatments. Prayers for healing grace, peace, comfort & strength for BOB, and his wife, Francine, who is a bit tired from all the trips.
Their beautiful daughter, Katelyn, had green "healing" bracelets made for her DAD (Courage, Love, Hope); and is selling them for $5.00 each, to pay for the cost of the treatment trips -- what a marvellous idea. The first week she sold 250 -- when BOB heard about the generosity of our people, He wept ...
PRAISE GOD: we have awesome people here. A couple of weekends ago, our town held a "Run for Cancer" and raised $58,000.00 in one day. They put up lumieres (lanterns) for cancer victims & survivors we all know along the course. So many of us have been touched by that disease; and the people here are truly amazing ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 07-14-2012 at 01:07 PM.
NELLY ~ DH's doctor(s) told him they don't want him to drive anymore; and the specialist was firm about that. It isn't that he can't drive. Your SM is correct about what she is saying; it is their reflexes in emergency situations that the doctors are most concerned about. It is very possible the neurologist told her this too, becuz her concerns sound the same.
Yes, we all forget things as we get older, but what your Dad probably means is that he can't remember things that he used to be able to recall. That is the big difference -- DH used to know those things/people by name. Over time, if there is a steady or sudden decline; that is something that has to be taken seriously. It is a sign of a bigger problem.
You know, it is possible that it is your Father who wants to stay at home; maybe HE doesn't want to go out like he used to. Maybe HE is embarassed by his memory problem like my DH is -- he used to ask me not to tell people about it. Maybe the adopted DD thing is just an excuse THEY are using so they don't offend you when your Father doesn't want to go somewhere. I know many people who make up bogus excuses to get out of social situations they don't feel comfortable in anymore.
I hope things go better for them both; she must be worried about herself as well, with that family history. So, I will ^pray^ for them both.
Well, I do believe that there might be some things going on with my dad, but when asked point blank what it is that he does, and SM can not give me an example, I am more prone to believe she is over reacting.
And yes, she did say he doesn't like to go places because of his memory. Like going to an annual fall event that he has been going to for years. SM says "it wears him out" to have to think so hard at things like that. But hey, just coming to a family gathering to see his grand children or GREATgrandchild (who he has never met) would not be so hard.... I can understand why he doesn't want people to know.
He is a smart guy, but he has been in a relationship with my SM which I feel has been a controlling one on her part. My dad is very sensitive and rather than risking loosing a 2nd wife to divorce,(I believe) he does all she says....at least this is my perception since he told me more than once "here is the list of things I was going to do when I retired, and raising kids is not on it"
They have had foster kids for over 10 years and adopted 2 of them. He is 81, and has a 2nd grader and a 20 year old adopted daughters. He put a sign on the phone one time that said "NO" (to help SM not take any more foster kids) ... that is about as forceful as I have ever seen him with her....she laughed, turned it upside down and added an "E" to make it a ONE.....
So with this background I feel she is not handling things with him in a correct fashion.
thanks for your prayers. I need to try and figure out something to do. I guess I just need to call or write dad a letter. He was never one to talk much, so calls are really hard, I can hardly make myself do it. A letter would be simpler.
