I know what you mean about feeling exposed - I used to want the (sexual) attention when I thought I couldn't get any, I'd grab any that I could and go out of my way to attract more. However now that I do feel good about myself and dress like I feel good about myself I feel annoyed when I do get any unwanted attention.
It's strange, because I used to suffer from IBS, and any type of binge episode would usually set it off. Recently when I eat a little bit more than usual I expect to have an attack and that would finish the binge. However, I think my IBS has gone. I ate so much yesterday, I ate TONS of greasy food, and carbs but my guts of iron sorted it all out and this morning I was even hungry for breakfast! Usually I'm still full the morning after! What's up with that??
I still really want that easter egg!
Apologies for all the MEMEMEMEMEMEMememememememe ranting today gals!
I've been MIA for a couple of days (school fundraisers, gardening, etc.) so I have a lot of catching up to do.
I did not weigh yesterday because I am horribly bloated thanks to TOM. No sense in getting worked up over a number that I know isn't right. My calories have been in check but the quality of my food has been less than stellar. I have been exercising harder and more frequently but still not as often as I need to. I've been considering a short fast. Not as a means to lose weight but just to focus on body ques, control, etc. I think one reason I'm having a bit of trouble is because I'm a little out of touch with those things. Journaling, meditating, and the like haven't helped much lately. We'll see.
2frus, you just put into words exactly how I've been feeling. I've felt "off" for a while but could never put my finger on what was going on. You just nailed it. The occasional days of crappy eating do feel more like "me". I am with you in that I refuse to go back there. I simply will not let that happen - even if I have to be a fake to make sure it doesn't. I'd much rather be a healthy fake than a fat real me. Wow. I'm going to have to sit and think about this for a while. Thanks for the insight.
Susan, I'm not going to take new measurements just yet. Next week for sure, though. Isn't it amazing what just a couple of days (or meals for that matter) can do to our overall attitude? My clothes are starting to loosen up again, but after those krispie kreme's the other day I can't bring myself to put my favorite jeans on. I'm just convinced I'm too fat for them - even though I logically know that a couple of donuts can't possibly put me up an entire size. How did the showing go? I remember how stressful selling our first house was. I hope I never have to move again!
Ilene, I'm sorry you don't feel you've done well lately. But, I have to admit, that it helps me keep my faulters in perspective. Don't get me wrong. I never like to here that anyone is struggling but, when I do, I feel much less anxious about my own sturggles. I suppose it makes me feel like we are all in this together and it is nice to know that the things that are hard for me affect everyone - even the people I look up to.
Gayly, what a sweet ballerina! The dress looks great. I've been threatening to get my sewing machine down. So far, though, I'm all talk. It is funny you say you were sick of the dresses by the 6th one. I remember back in high school my sister was a cheerleader and my mom got roped into making their uniforms. She never made that mistake again. I think it was the one incident that taught her how to say "NO". lol.
Daisimae, I bet you will lose weight while on vacation. Seriously. I hope you have a wonderful trip. You are going to look and feel great!
Gonnaloseit, hang in there. It is going to take some time to pull your life back in order. In the meantime, you are doing great. Maintaining your weight while facing such a hardship is a feat in and of itself.
Okay, girls. Hope I didn't miss anyone. I'm off for a very short walk. I have lots of volunteer work with the school lined up today and tomorrow and am not going to get to the gym. Why is it that when my schedule is packed I want desperately to exercise and when I have nothing to do but sit on the couch the gym seems as unappealing as all get out? Weird. have a great day all!
Girls! Have I been in denial about what cardio really is! No bloody wonder I'm almost there but never there or rather there for long.
I went to watch Dr Phil, don't like him much but wanted to see the 700 lb woman and what was going on there. I put on my gadget ( resting heart rate 68 or 70) and started doing Susan's boogying around the TV room. I got up to 91! So for months now, my idea of cardio is a heart rate of 91!
I had to insert weights to get it up over 100 and really step up the bouncy bouncy to keep it there.
Now I'm of two minds about this ....
#1. ach you idiot! look at all the time you've wasted!
#2. by George, I think I'm on to something here.
The one gadget I put off buying until I thought I could afford it ... should have indulged much sooner!
I'm really trying to be "good" for the rest of the day though. I can see I've lost muscle definition and I feel flabby and my trousers are tighter.
I've just had meal #2 with lowest fat low salt bacon and wholemeal bread and an apple. TASTY
I'm hopefully going to be ok for the rest of the day, I think I'll take DF up on his offer of going for a run tonight, now that the nights are lighter. Gotta that man
I've been in denial the past few days of just what I've been eating. I feel like a complete idiot
So I've kicked myself in the pants and I'm getting back on track ASAP, cold or no cold!
Tell you what, 2frus, I'll stay in line today if you will! My summer clothes fit but are definately tighter than they were when I bought them. It is a good thing I got rid of all my 10's because if I had anything to fall back on I'd probably just keep packing on the pounds. I was really, really close to a 6 ta few months back (8's were too big, 6 fit but not consistently depending on the brand). At this point I don't have a choice but to stay on track. Nevermind reaching goal, at a minimum I have to be able to wear the clothes I already have. And don't talk to me about flab! I am certain that losing muscle is one of the big reasons my clothes are tight. Scary.
Susan, I just may check out the heart monitors. Of course, I'd need to actually get off my butt and exercise for it to do me any good.
Today has be great so far. I've managed a walk/run this morning so that is out of the way. I'm still planning to hit the weights at the gym tonight, though. Yesterday ended up pretty bad but I didn't log anything so I don't know just how bad. It was bad enough that I didn't want to put it in fitday though so it had to of been rotten.
I have decided to fast today and, depending on how I feel, possibly tomorrow. I really don't know why doing so appeals to me right now. When I mentioned it to DH he asked me what the point of doing it was and I didn't have an answer for him. I think I just want to see if I can do it. Maybe surviving without food for a day or two will prove that 1500 calories is perfectly doable, even now. I know the reasons that I am NOT doing it - I'm not trying to crash diet or starve myself and I'm not looking for quick results. It is a 100% mental thing for me, I just can't verbalize why. With that said, I warned DH that if he came home for lunch and I ate with him that he was to keep his lips zipped. LOL.
The kids are spending the night with a friend of theirs tonight so I'm cleaning house today. I want to be able to relax tonight while they are gone but if the house isn't clean I'll be compelled to take the opportunity to scrub everything down. So, I'm trying to get it done today so I can enjoy a date night with DH. Have a great day!
I'm sorry, Susan, I never got around to measuring yesterday. Thursday is one of my "long days" where I work my usual office job and then work at the restaurant until about 10:30. Last night was even later because of a last minute customer and I totally forgot about measuring by the time I got home.
I'm going to try to find a few minutes to do it tonight and post so I can see if I gained or lost inches while on vacation. Keep your fingers crossed for the "losing" theory.
yawn! So much for getting off work at 11 and then going to do a little shopping. Work turned into hard work and I'm tired. I didn't take lunch and cafeteria was oi! today. I think I'll grab a little nap before DH gets home and reassess after that.
The physiotherapist told me I need to try to find my resting heart rate as soon as I wake up. So it's not really a nap, it's a fitness test. Ya, that's it! I'm going to have a little fitness test.
I should have qualified that it was my friend the physiotherapist so it wasn't an official type consult. Just chatting. I was telling him that it was pretty hard work to get my pulse up. He wanted to know what my resting rate was because he thinks I might be in better shape than I think I am.
Okay, so I'm finished fasting. It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be but I doubt I'll do it again. Abstaining from food for a while did serve a purpose though. I feel back in touch my "real" hunger ques as opposed to "head" hunger. That was exactly what I set out to accomplish so I feel good about it.
I bought myself a food sealer today. I'm excited about it. I love, love love, kitchen gadgets. I had just finished cutting up my salad stuff for the week so I put half in the usual zip lock bags and sealed the other half. I'll be interested to see if there is any difference between the two after a couple of days. I actually bought it for freezing meats and cooked foods but if it makes a difference for my refrigerated vegetables that will be an added bonus.
I've had a very low calorie day today, which is good because we ate at a chinese buffet last night, which was pretty exciting! And I've also done absolutely nothing today! I've lazed in bed, read my books, had a bath, been food shopping, watched a film, slept some more...
I thought I might make it to the gym today, but I wasn't even up to going out for a ride on my bike so I just went and bought plenty of fruit. I think I'm off back to bed with my book soon! Here's to more lazy days
Lucky ... physio friend's is 58 and he kayaks and all kinds of interesting things. I thought mine was 68 which he said was pretty good, but I did the sleeping thing and it's 62. I think that's pretty good for an old sedentary gal like me.
Was it Meg who just had a physical? She said what hers was too.
Usually I'm still full the morning after! What's up with that??
that man 
and I'm getting back on track ASAP, cold or no cold! 
so I just went and bought plenty of fruit. I think I'm off back to bed with my book soon! Here's to more lazy days 
