I can eat a whole bag of chips! And not a little bag, one of those big 9 ounce bags, in a single evening.
Things are still going okay, I suppose. Still not tracking but trying to eat 'reasonable'. Actually I'm just trying not to binge, which is going to be a lot harder when I head back to work next week.
It's weird, because sometimes I am super-hungry, and sometimes I'm not necessarily hungry but super-craving, and sometimes I have a normal appetite. And I can't seem to link what causes one mood as compared to another. I was journaling for a while, food intake and drinks (water, caffeine, whatever) and emotions and such, and working with a therapist, but I never could figure it out. Very frustrating. I mean, sometimes a tub of ice cream will sit in the freezer so long I have to throw it out because it's gone bad, I just haven't been interested in it. And sometimes I want to scarf it all down over the course of two days. But WHY?
Hi rabidstoat, I can eat a whole bag of ANYTHING that tastes good, even frozen corn. Those chips are DESIGNED to make people eat the whole bag. Millions of research dollars have gone into the science of what keeps us coming back for more. Personally I think heredity determines how susceptible an individual is. To make it even dicier to solve, I'd guess bingeing is often a response to more than one stimulus. Sometimes physiologic hunger, other times emotions, sometimes entrenched habit & cues, etc.
I wonder if it would be helpful to break it into parts rather than trying to do the whole thing at once. For example, you could start out by JUST putting your focus on solving the workplace snacks. All the feelings and thoughts about it what it means to eat and NOT eat those things at work, and also some alternatives to make it easier for you to handle. And not worry about the rest of the day's eating, but just to be observant of how the workplace foods affect your appetites and other aspects of your life.
For so many of us there is no 'aha' moment to figuring out why we do things; if lucky, we may get some dawning awareness. There is SO much labeling of behavior that can force us to frame things a certain way that isn't a good fit & doesn't work. I've experienced this with all of my eating issues but nowhere more than with binge eating. It's important to discard what isn't working or fitting, and trust our intuition as we try out different ideas.
That said, when I read your post about the apparent randomness of 'wanting to scarf' it made me wonder if those urges might be coming from letting yourself get too hungry. I became aware of this annoying phenomenon ONLY after a successful diet. Now it dogs me each and every time I restrict to "quickly knock off a few lbs". I don't think it's impossible to get off unwanted weight, but for us food addicts and/or binge eaters, it's something to navigate with the utmost care.
mars735, thank you for the detailed reply. looking at your meals for a day there doesn't seem to be any grains, do you intentionally avoid things like rice and whole grain breads, pasta, anything wheat based,etc? also do you use sugar at all or abstain completely? sugar has never been a problem for me until now with the 5 tubs of ice cream in a week.
Im thinking maybe i should cut diet pepsi and even sweeteners in general. although there was a point just a month ago where I was perfectly fine eating a wendys combo and that did not provoke a binge so I still don't have an answer as to whether foods/ingredients or state of mind are the triggers. maybe it's a mixture of both with the large amounts of sugar I have been consuming.
ive been meaning to try mashed cauliflower but havent gotten around to it yet, i think i will look into making a big batch to have on hand for side dish. I don't have a food processor but I believe you can use a grater for the cauliflower.
Anyways today was another terrrible day, as I finish this box of cookies, I plan to go shopping tomorrow for healthy food. this is really scary and reminds me of past attempts at starting a new diet every day.
Hi davina, I'd encourage you to savor the cookies and ice cream as much as you can and when you decide you are ready, move gently toward healthy food rather than marching like a POW---it should be appealing to you. Usually I do something like buy a hot roasted chicken at Whole Foods, and maybe some already prepared side dishes from the hot table to get past a binge episode. I don't worry about the ingredients except avoid the overtly sugary entrees like BBQ. The healthy food you shop for should be inviting to your palate. So, if you like grains, etc, go for it. I can take them or leave them. I think from my ultra low carb diet, I got used to not having them and maybe have a little fear, even. I'd suggest the least processed form; rice or potatoes rather than bread or pasta. You could try this for a couple of weeks and see how it feels, then add in bread and pasta and compare, or vice versa. I forgot to mention legume like beans, if you like them. Nuts are fine, too, just not the sugared ones. There should be plenty food, this is not about limiting quantity. If you need to feel stuffed, that's fine. The goal is simply to have an appealing stepping stone away from a binge, not to solve your entire eating style or even provide a weight loss plan, though it might be a side effect.
I'm ambivalent about sugar. Generally I like to have days without it, but know that there will be 'tub of ice cream' days here and there. I do notice how lousy I feel if I do that more than a random day here and there--mentally foggy, moody, and joint pains. But abstinence isn't realistic for me. On the regular days, I'm pretty much sugar free--more because I'm fanatic about non-processed foods than trying to restrict sugar (except for the majorly processed protein sweets).
Re eliminating diet soda & sweeteners...you probably have read all the strong opinions out there on both sides. I'd like to do that but there's only so much I'll do before I feel deprived. I guess I'd be careful about cutting out too much all at once. There are some down sides to carbonated beverages in large volume, though. I never liked the carbonation of diet soda so it's not been an issue. For me, the Mio water flavoring ensures that I get my water in, so even though I'd rather avoid the chemicals, I use it. I used to think it triggered binges, but turned out it didn't--it was restricting calories too much that triggered me.
For mashed cauliflower, you can drop the whole thing into a pot with a lid, put an inch or two of water or chicken broth, and steam it. About 15-25 minutes depending on the size of the head. Just stick a fork into it now & then to see if it's tender. No need for a grater or food processor unless you want to make things like cauli 'rice' or pancake. Maybe consider investing in a good processor--it will open up wonderful options.
It sounds like you are distressed right now. Know that many of us on this thread and others have walked a similar walk, and still struggle with the same things. You are really courageous to share your experience. You are persistent as well. Those things will stand you in good stead. Meanwhile, I hope that the idea of using unlimited 'whole food' can provide you with a tool for dealing with binges. It's helped me to not feel so distressed when I binge because I know there is an escape door whenever I'm ready.
Well, still going okay, but work and the never-ending and visible supply of candy and cookies start tomorrow. I should probably have a plan but I don't. Experience has taught me that 'just having one' is NOT an option in that environment. I'll stock up on some sweet fruit in the morning and hope for the best, I guess. Sort of dreading work anyway since I enjoyed my two weeks off.
In better news, I've gone about 10 days without a binge, and about 8 without any of what I consider sugary treats. I've decided a pint of chocolate milk a week is fine, since I am bad at dairy. But that's been it, and I'm pleased with that progress. But, I've always been okay the first week or two of eating healthy and not binging. It's weeks 3, 4, 5, and 6 where it all goes downhill, so I'll try to keep checking in here.
Five hours into work and so far so good. Man, talk about battles one hour at a time.
Our boss went out to buy 'office snacks' for January. This time he got things like apples, oranges, and those Sabra hummus cups with pretzels. That's what I'm having now, the hummus cups and pretzels, yum!
One-hour-to-go update: So far I've had oatmeal and watermelon for breakfast, a turkey and cheese wrap with mustard and veggies for lunch, some hummus and pita chips as snacks, and an orange as second snack. Not so bad. Oh, and I found a (king size) chocolate bar in my office, that I stuck out in the kitchen for someone else to eat. Probably have enchiladas for dinner tonight, later. Man, I should eat more veggies....
Last edited by rabidstoat; 01-05-2015 at 04:39 PM.
Reason: Updated
good job Rabidstoat (Rabid Stoat? which is what exactly lol?)
I am on a detox. I am craving everything because it is off limits (and because it is-20C and I want a hot chocolate when I come in from the cold like that).
My detox is not calorie counting but it is vegan, gluten-free, sugar free and coffee free (I'll miss that even though I don't even have it every day). I've been trying to eat anything and everything I want actually, so that I don't feel deprived.
First,hot water with lemon and ginger
B - green smoothie
L - big salad with sunflower seeds and a cashew "ranch" or dill dressing (I never eat ranch dressing but this is good whatever you want to call it).
S - coconut meat, nuts
D - chili and raw zucchini noodles with raw marinara. This was not supposed to be my dinner but I had it yesterday and it was really good so I had more today with my chili.
Now I am cooking meatless loaf for my boss for dinner tomorrow. Going to try not to eat it just for the sake of eating. I really am not hungry.
Hi davina, I'd encourage you to savor the cookies and ice cream as much as you can and when you decide you are ready, move gently toward healthy food rather than marching like a POW---it should be appealing to you. Usually I do something like buy a hot roasted chicken at Whole Foods, and maybe some already prepared side dishes from the hot table to get past a binge episode. I don't worry about the ingredients except avoid the overtly sugary entrees like BBQ. The healthy food you shop for should be inviting to your palate. So, if you like grains, etc, go for it. I can take them or leave them. I think from my ultra low carb diet, I got used to not having them and maybe have a little fear, even. I'd suggest the least processed form; rice or potatoes rather than bread or pasta. You could try this for a couple of weeks and see how it feels, then add in bread and pasta and compare, or vice versa. I forgot to mention legume like beans, if you like them. Nuts are fine, too, just not the sugared ones. There should be plenty food, this is not about limiting quantity. If you need to feel stuffed, that's fine. The goal is simply to have an appealing stepping stone away from a binge, not to solve your entire eating style or even provide a weight loss plan, though it might be a side effect.
I'm ambivalent about sugar. Generally I like to have days without it, but know that there will be 'tub of ice cream' days here and there. I do notice how lousy I feel if I do that more than a random day here and there--mentally foggy, moody, and joint pains. But abstinence isn't realistic for me. On the regular days, I'm pretty much sugar free--more because I'm fanatic about non-processed foods than trying to restrict sugar (except for the majorly processed protein sweets).
Re eliminating diet soda & sweeteners...you probably have read all the strong opinions out there on both sides. I'd like to do that but there's only so much I'll do before I feel deprived. I guess I'd be careful about cutting out too much all at once. There are some down sides to carbonated beverages in large volume, though. I never liked the carbonation of diet soda so it's not been an issue. For me, the Mio water flavoring ensures that I get my water in, so even though I'd rather avoid the chemicals, I use it. I used to think it triggered binges, but turned out it didn't--it was restricting calories too much that triggered me.
For mashed cauliflower, you can drop the whole thing into a pot with a lid, put an inch or two of water or chicken broth, and steam it. About 15-25 minutes depending on the size of the head. Just stick a fork into it now & then to see if it's tender. No need for a grater or food processor unless you want to make things like cauli 'rice' or pancake. Maybe consider investing in a good processor--it will open up wonderful options.
It sounds like you are distressed right now. Know that many of us on this thread and others have walked a similar walk, and still struggle with the same things. You are really courageous to share your experience. You are persistent as well. Those things will stand you in good stead. Meanwhile, I hope that the idea of using unlimited 'whole food' can provide you with a tool for dealing with binges. It's helped me to not feel so distressed when I binge because I know there is an escape door whenever I'm ready.
Thank you so much this post is very comforting right now. Thanks also for the tip on the cauliflower, I didn't even realize it will soften up pretty good on its own. this is the recipe i had wanted to try (in case anyone interested.http://www.ibreatheimhungry.com/2012...uliflower.html)
i weighed myself the other day to see and my weight has jumped 6 ish pounds in like 2 weeks. probably more now but I won't look again. ive been eating 2 fast food combo meals(full burger,fries & gravy and coke twice) in a row binge for the last 3 days. It's like my stomach is a bottomless pit again.
Day three back at work. I had a doctor's appointment today because I need to get my birth control refilled, and they want to see me again since it's been a year. Turns out, my doctor moved to an office 20+ miles away without me noticing, so I showed up for my appointment at the old office. Now I have a new appointment with a new doctor, but it's not until mid-February. My prescription ran out in mid-December. Thankfully (or not, ha ha!) I don't have an active sex life now, so there's not that consideration, but I take it for PCOS and irregular cycles and it's really annoying to have to go without for months, grrrrrr.
Other than that things are okay. Avoiding the sweets in the office. I've been eating a hummus&pretzel cup a day, and lots of fruits and veggies that the boss brought in along with the candy this time, yay! Munching on organic apple slices now for a mid-morning snack.
It's going okay, except the scale is going up, not down. I think it's just water weight as I approach TOM, but still a bit demoralizing. I'm trying to remind myself that even if it is a weight gain, it wouldn't be fixed by eating lots of sugary, fatty foods.
Hi rabidstoat, 13 binge-free days is a huge success, more than any number the scale can reflect.
That scale can sure be a cruel mistress! No matter what I tell myself, nothing prevents me from feeling disappointed when it doesn't show the results I expect. It all evens out over time, though. I've found my monthly average weight has reflected things more realistically. As long I kept to my plan, the scale went down every single month, even while fluctuating week-to-week.
As a back up, I tracked measurements, because we sure can use all the validation we can find, lol! Tape measuring a single area (it has to be the exact same spot) shows a more realistic picture than the scale, eg waist using navel as a landmark, or even a single thigh because it's easier. Trying on clothes, too, but it might take a few weeks to be evident. The times the scale didn't drop, my size did, as if my body was taking a time out to re-shape.
Today, I was watching a movie and a character ate a candy bar... now I'm craving one soooo badly. But I know if I go to the gas station across the street for a candy bar, I'll come back with a bag of chips and a tub of ice cream, too!
I don't know why that movie set off my cravings--some days I can ignore a whole cake in my fridge without a problem, and other days the mere concept of chocolate makes me want to quit altogether I had a late dinner, too. Boo, I guess some days are just destined to be bad days...
Hi superherothin, Those unexpected cues can sure turn things upside down. Aromas are even worse, for me. I wonder why some days are easier than others. Posting and lurking on 3FC can provide some great distraction and motivation to get through those tough times. Good for you for visiting the website instead of the gas station! I hope you have an easier time tomorrow.
mars735 I know exactly what you mean, smells ARE way worse. My apartment is above three restaurants, so I can either enter through the south doors and face Chinese and Thai food, or I can go through the east door and face delicious, delicious Mexican food. It's certainly been an exercise in restraint, haha.
I'd encourage you to savor the cookies and ice cream as much as you can and when you decide you are ready, move gently toward healthy food rather than marching like a POW---it should be appealing to you. Usually I do something like buy a hot roasted chicken at Whole Foods, and maybe some already prepared side dishes from the hot table to get past a binge episode. I don't worry about the ingredients except avoid the overtly sugary entrees like BBQ. The healthy food you shop for should be inviting to your palate. So, if you like grains, etc, go for it. I can take them or leave them. I think from my ultra low carb diet, I got used to not having them and maybe have a little fear, even. I'd suggest the least processed form; rice or potatoes rather than bread or pasta. You could try this for a couple of weeks and see how it feels, then add in bread and pasta and compare, or vice versa. I forgot to mention legume like beans, if you like them. Nuts are fine, too, just not the sugared ones. There should be plenty food, this is not about limiting quantity. If you need to feel stuffed, that's fine. The goal is simply to have an appealing stepping stone away from a binge, not to solve your entire eating style or even provide a weight loss plan, though it might be a side effect. 
I had a late dinner, too. Boo, I guess some days are just destined to be bad days...
