LOL! Magic pill...in a reuben sandwich?

You might be onto something, Zoe....The Reuben Sandwich Diet. I'd volunteer to be the first guinea pig, lol!

Hello fellow food addicts,

I hope you're all doing well. Things have continued to be rough for me with my son....some really horrible things....but I'm still hanging on and not letting it all get the best of me.

My weight hasn't really gone down but it hasn't gone up either (it has, here and there for a few days, but I've been able to get back on track more times than not). I sure wish I could get to goal already but at the same time, I'm incredibly proud of myself for being where I'm at, considering the many challenges in my life.

I'm cutting back on the second medication the dr. Rx'd for my anxiety. I ended up with terrible insomnia again and I figured that I was just replacing anxiety with insomnia and so I might as well have a problem without the meds. I'm going to tackle the anxiety with natural methods. I've just never tolerated medication well...which is why I still have daily migraines...it's not cuz I think they're any fun.

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say hi to my addicted friends and to send you all great big bear hugs. I really appreciate the support here and I'm looking forward to hearing about how you guys are all doing.

Luckymommy - Oh, I'm so sorry to read about the issues with your son -- honey that just has to be so, so rough. Sending you healing thoughts and strength and hugs, all that I can spare!

I think you are smart to drop the anxiety meds if they cause major insomnia. Of course, I'm biased right now as the chronic insomnia I had torched my immune system, but man, with everything you've got going on, you NEED your sleep, your body needs that time to heal and rest. Hopefully the natural alternatives will do something to help.

Sending big bear hugs back to you!

Wow, Mrs Snark! You're back! I missed you and I found out on your blog that you've been having a rough time, to say the least!

Thanks so much for your kind words. I really appreciate all the strength and hugs!

I finally hit the high end of my goal a few days ago but today, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. so I'm eating more than I should...but still within reason...although the day's not over yet!

Again, glad you're back and I hope that means that you've recovered.

How is everyone doing?

I made it through my birthday weekend with a few treats but without going over board. It probably helps me that I haven't been able to drink any cocktails in months and months now (migraine trigger and now also conflicts with treatment medications), I have a much more level head during celebrations if I don't have a buzz. How's that for making lemonade from lemons!

Luckymommy -- congratulations on making it into your goal range, your perseverance is inspiring! How is it going? I saw your post in the maintenance forum, have you firmed up your strategy for going forward?

I haven't checked in here in awhile. Congrats, Luckymom on hitting goal range! How exciting! I hope things are going okay with your son and your insomnia/anxiety issues.

Snark, I'm sorry about your migrains. That sounds so awful! Happy birthday and a virtual "cheers" to you.

I've been trying to keep my calories lower, around 1200 to finally get my weight moving down again and it seems to be working. Having food prepped separate from the family has worked beautifully and I don't have any issues with impulsive eating or overeating. Win!

Mars, I hope you're still around and doing well.

It's nice to hear from you guys! I appreciate the congrats but things have been horrible for me since Friday. I went to Las Vegas (my husband loves to go there) and that place is just no good for me food wise. I ended up binging almost the entire time. I got home yesterday afternoon and I still couldn't stop the binging. I just kept stuffing and stuffing myself to the point where I felt truly ill and then I couldn't sleep much at all. I woke up with a food hang over and now I"m going to try to get back on track. If I had to guess, I probably gained 3 to 5 real pounds. We'll see. I won't weigh myself for at least 4 days but it would be best if I don't weigh in for longer.

I'm so disappointed in myself, but there's no point in worrying about the past. I'm going to make this a learning experience. I think I need to just not go to Las Vegas anymore. Also, my birthday is coming up next month and already, my friends are trying to make plans to celebrate my existence. While this is very kind of them, last November is when I was thin and ended up regaining everything because of all the celebrations (it's mostly because I"m an addict, but you know what I mean). I have asked them to please not take me out for meals...that coffee is great or a walk, but they're insisting.

First, I just need to make it through today. My sleep is not going any better, btw but my anxiety has improved a great deal. I think what helped me with the anxiety is doing Pilates. I know it's weird, but somehow it has been a miracle for me.

Oh man, I'm sorry your eating took a detour. What do you do to reel it back in? That's my big worry because as much as I want this to be my last weightloss journey and stop the yoyo, I know there is some kind of mental block or denial that can take over. Ideally, we'd still be able to navigate things like Vegas and celebrations but I'm not sure how. Tracking in my Lose It app on the phone before I eat has helped.

Hang in there luckymommy! Sending you positive vibes!

Thanks CoolMom and Mrs Snark. I finally managed to eat "normally" on Wednesday. I was doing well for a few days and then yesterday, I over ate again. I didn't binge, but I was soooo close to it. I just felt super tired and yucky and just blah. Also, I made a huge mistake: I changed my breakfast. I normally have 1/3 cup of oatmeal (it has other things in it like pumpkin seeds and amaranth, etc.) but I had fruit. My husband is trying a new diet called Fit For Life and a friend of mine told me about it (well, it's actually very old, but it's new to us) and my friend (who is already very thin) lost 4 lbs. in a week and she said she has never felt better. I shouldn't have been lured into this but I was and this morning, I've decided to go back to what I know works for me.

That's the key for me, I think. I just have to eat very similar foods every day. Once i stray from what works for me, I turn into a crazed lunatic who feels lost and doesn't know what to do.

I still haven't weighed myself since Vegas. I want to have a full week of on track eating before I assess the damage.

I also must confess that I"m terrified of the next few months. My birthday is coming in a few weeks (did I already mention this? I have memory issues). Last year, when I had my birthday, I weighed 160 lbs.. By the time April came around, I was around 193 lbs. It started with the bday, and everyone taking me out for lunches to celebrate and even though I wouldn't order cake, they would bring it to the lunch and I'd feel obligated to eat it. I would then binge and binge and my wacky mind would tell me that it's all ok, I'll get back to it the next day...but Thanksgiving came around and then Hannukah and Xmas (I don't celebrate it but I sure manage to get into the spirit, hahaha). By the end of December, I was just lost and out of control, depressed and hopeless. In April I joined OA and that turned things around. I need to just follow what I know and not get lazy in my program (which is what I"ve been doing).

Sorry for this long rant....I appreciate all your support and hope it will help others deal with their own struggles. I thank you guys for being here and wish you continued success.

How do I rein it in?

I wish there was an easy answer, luckmommy.

I feel it is unfair for people to pressure you into eating, of course, and if it were me and I were feeling on the edge I would avoid those meals at all costs, frankly. Whatever it takes, you have a right to put yourself first. Whether that is total abstinence or some other plan of YOUR choosing, you deserve to put yourself first in this regard.

The holidays are tough. We are already surrounded by a hyper-crazy food environment 24/7, and then the holidays come and become the ultimate enablers to overindulge. It's crazy, and very hard.

I wish for you to be able to take care of yourself the way you need to without other people pressuring you to do something different!

Thanks so much Mrs Snark. I appreciate your wisdom and empathy. Based on my prior experience, I'm letting everyone know that I'm not eating sugar and flour. That way, if they do bring something, I'll know that they really don't get it or don't care. Either way, I"ll do my best to avoid it at all costs or else the ultimate cost will be my health and sanity.

I was wondering...do you guys have any issues with the weather getting colder? I feel like that could have had an impact on my weight gain in the past. I have a very difficult time keeping my body warm even when i'ts in thigh 50's! My hands are feet are always very cold and sometimes, they get tingly and numb if I"m not completely vigilant. I also wonder if it's less sunshine. Today, it has been overcast and chilly and I've struggled with feeling a bit down. Just wondering if I'm the only one or if this is more common.

I'm glad you have a plan and I hope everyone will respect your wishes!

Regarding the weather: Mostly I prefer the cooler weather, but then, I'm in Florida, so the winter months are hardly brutal and our summers can be very, very uncomfortable. And it is very sunny during the winter here so I don't get the seasonal disorder.

Physically, I have discomfort even in Florida with cold hands. When I was heavier it was never a problem. But now, my nail beds will turn blue and my hands will hurt quite a bit (I have arthritis in them, though) when it is cool out unless I make special efforts to keep warm. Not a fan.

I do know several people who have the SAD, and they say those special lamps are really helpful in helping their moods through the winter...

Thanks Mrs Snark. I woke up this morning at 3 am with a massive migraine. I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I know this is temporary. On Sunday, I binged yet again. What is going with me? I don't know. The weekends are usually the toughest. I think I need to have more of a routine, the way I do during the week. I ate very healthy yesterday and that makes me feel a lot better. I'm determined to learn from my mistakes. I'm going to do my best to stay on track despite the sleep deprivation and migraine pain.