Today's adventure is taking DH to his new ophthalmologist. We'd been going to the same practice for twenty years. We felt like we got good monitoring from the doctors, but the atmosphere was always chaotic.
Now that we know that DH is going to need four eye surgeries sometime in the next couple of years, we started re-thinking things. The old practice wasn't associated with a hospital and uses a clinic for surgeries. Plus, the chaotic environment didn't give us the feeling of safety and security that suddenly popped to the top of the priority list.
We've decided to go to an eye doctor practice that is associated with the hospital system where he had his previous surgeries (appendix, prostate). My brother goes to that practice and reports that it is a calm environment. So, we're hoping for a good experience that gives us more confidence ahead of those surgeries.
Coaches, I messed up again. too much stress did me in and I just turned to food. first the car engine overheated. when I was at my studio a whole bunch of liquid poured out of the car. The liquid turned out to be coolant . it's getting fixed. I wish we were buying a new car. I ate over that before I knew what the issue was and after. And at the uncertainty of how long our car would really last.
And today is jury day at the potter' guild. we have four rooms of pots put in by potters for the sale and every one of them needs the juror's eyeballs on them. it's a long tedious day. I overate last.night worrying about it. Not only overate but ate off plan and ate super late, after 9:30. ooof. As if doing that can push away the coming day.
Today I am super puffy. Weight is up 7lbs.
And when it was so hot for about 4 days in a row, our apt was 29C. that's when I started drinking full sugar lemonade. dumb. so thats part of the return of the high number. Today is a potluck sandwich day but my tummy is all messed up over jurying.so I won't eat lots plus there are 5 other people around so I won't eat tons for that reason either. I must remember This Too Shall Pass. The day will end, probably around 3 or 4 and after that I will be picking up the car. I hope. The cost of repair is still.mich cheaper than years of.car payments. I just know I will be in the car when it finally.dies. Sigh.
Quick wave. DD appears to possibly have the flu or is dehydrated/exhuasted; she had a temp yesterday and the chills. I stayed home to nurse her. We went to get her a pcr test but I really don't think its covid. I'm hoping to get into work for a few hours this afternoon but we'll see. She had to start her classes yesterday but they were on zoom, and she can rest today and tomorrow. I suspect part of this year is going to be me helping her get thru nursing school by being as PATIENT and supportive as I can, there are a lot of details to deal with.
Off to shower and eat something healthy!
A new day, and I'm starting out a bit cranky and with hurt feelings at home. DH is back to work for these next three days and I'm glad to have alone time even if my To Do list is overly long. I will mix the must dos with things that I want to do. I started to stress about a long list and then thought, my life cannot just be checking things off my dang list. Yesterday when we were wrapping up to leave, DH was on a tractor and said he'd be in soon to wash up. I went back inside and decided to plop down with The Week, and read a few news stories while I waited for him. He came in soon and asked, "Lounging?" I said, "Yep!" On the way home I was telling him about an article in there on microplastics and how illuminating it was for me. It said that humans ingest approx a credit card size amount every week. I couldn't remember week or day, so after he read it I asked him which it was. He said he didn't know there would be a test on it. Now, THAT got me mad. I said, "No, no test, I just couldn't remember which it was and that illustration helped me understand it more." Then I busied myself cleaning off the table. Those two comments now have volleyed around in my brain and I'm mad. Why didn't I say, yes, after 30 hours working out here this weekend, not counting the nine hours of travel time and roughly 1,000 pounds that I've moved myself, I AM LOUGING."
Today will be mowing OUR yard, marketing for healthy fruits and veg and picking up an order of supplies at Sam's, washing sheets and remaking bed and general cleanup. I want to find a good audiobook as I'm on a few duds.
Bill - Yes, we had to pay to dispose of each tire (including the smaller Cub Cadet mower tires) but the cost where we did it was about 40% less than the cost of the one near us that I priced. So turned out to be a lot cheaper there, plus not hauling them here to our bigger city - a heavy load.
OneByOne - Hang in there. I'm on day 14 of a 50 day challenge and my weight is HIGHER now than when I started. I'm ultra disappointed, and know that some is water retention and will drop at some point, but having to look at this as a walk forward in health overall. You have a lot of stress right now! Fingers crossed that the auto repair bill is not high.
CurlyJax - You are so patient with DD. As an adult who will be caring for others soon, she hopefully realizes all that you do for her. On so many fronts.
Joy - Smart to assess the overall care at your eye clinic and realize that a move to another one would be of benefit. Continued kudos for your exercise streaks!
Karen - How was DH's first day at work - I'm amazed that he went back so fast! I'm not familiar with his surgery - is it basically a hip replacement?
I'm going to bolt and get out to the stores now and mow before it heats up too much. Even in the 80s when I'm mowing, I'm groaning that I want a self propelled mower as the sweat pours off me. I used to LOVE the heat. Now I look like I just quit in the middle of a marathon.
Food was on plan and weight moved down a tiny bit. I went hiking this morning with the intention of getting to the top of Bell Pass, but there were so many of the little black bugs that I turned back a little early. I still had over a two hour hike and I think I may put some bug spray on next time and maybe even take my head net for bugs. I think I swallowed one. Otis will not walk today. We headed outside, but then the recycle trucks came into the neighborhood. It's already 85 degrees at 8:15, so it just might not be a walking day for him. I have an appointment for teeth cleaning this afternoon.
Nationalparker Oh the lounging comment would have irritated me too. I'm sure he didn't really mean it, but my goodness you are working so hard. My dh's had a hip replacement on this hip 10 years ago. The material that they put in to replace the ball of the femur was irritating his tissues and he had elevated chromium levels in his blood from the ball. This surgery was to go in and remove the ball (but not the spike that goes down the femur), clean up the area from scar tissue and a pseudo tumor, put on a new ball made of plastic covered ceramic, and sew him back up. It was a longer surgery than the replacement, but he's doing well. He worked 6 hours and even took the stairs. He did take a rest and iced his hip when he got home.
Curlyjax I hope dd is better today and I hope you don't get what she had/has. I hope she has a good supportive group of nursing student friends so they can help each other.
Onebyone Sorry for your stress. I hope you can just put the off plan stuff behind and resume. That always works best for me. Don't beat yourself up!
GardenerJoy That sounds like a very good idea to get well established with a practice you feel comfortable with before multiple surgeries. Good job on being on track to surpass your exercise goals.
Bill The pictures of the poke bowls look really good. I've had them with sashimi before and really liked it. Too bad your walk was shortened by the rain. I've done the same thing at times not knowing how bad it's going to get.
Yesterday was on plan and weight is coming back down.
I managed to do a supplemental grocery run with the help of kids to do the cart pushing and heavy lifting. It still wiped me out!
Today's struggle is the 11yo did not get enough sleep and gerring her off to school was rough. She doesn't want to go to sleep before I do and that keeps her awake. I like to stay up a little late but I guess I will try to go to bed earlier with her. I've never been able to get kids to sleep before me, from toddlers to teenagers who can finally stay up later than me on their own.
Nationalparker, those comments would hella bother me too. I'm sure I'd be petty and mirror them back asap. I hope you get some good recovery time in some of the next three days.
Curly, that always happened in college- as soon as the stress of one challenge (term) was over the immune system would recover and start fighting some cold you didn't know you had, and you'd be sick on your vacation days. I hope it's not terrible.
Joy, you make me aware my own ophthalmologist clinic is quite chaotic. It seems more like a place to hustle overly priced glasses than a doctor's office. That's probably why it doesn't seem weird to order glasses in the middle of a bustling Costco to save $$$. Lol
Onebyone, sending you supportive wishes for a calm day getting through the jury review of your pottery.
Good Day with the kids. I got a little petty at the after school meeting. I had suggested when asked about lesson plans for my friend who is on admin leave, I said we could start with a few movies I have guides for and grow from there. The response is "We don't want to show kids movies for 12 days." People leapt on that and I felt compelled to justify my teaching with "I'd like to make it clear I am not "The MOVIE GAL" who turns movies on and corrects papers. I was prickly about the joking. Why do I care what people think about my teaching. Maybe because I judge other people's teaching. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Or maybe it is the end of the school year and I am prickly anyway. So I am going to chill. Get a manicure. The podiatrist took off most of my umbrella damaged nail.. It is bare and weird looking. The other toe is doing fine he said.
Food is pretty good. No exercise, still conscience of weight bearing on my toes.
the sparkly shoes arrived and are indeed VERY sparkly. I will have to be very subtle with anything else I am wearing them with. I wa looking up some more styling youtubes. I took two pants to be hemmed. It is either ankle pants or wide legs to nearly the floor. Apparently showing your ankles and wrists are slimming. I have cut a sweatshirt with sleeves that bother me and will now hem the old cuff in the new place. That is kind of fun.I also gave away to sweatshirts from Talbots that definitely defined as making me look older. Then I realized I was watching over 40 videos. OMG. I am almost 60. I need the fashion over 60 videos. How did that happen?
Wednesday - US Supreme court affirms "separate but equal" racial separation (1896)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - There are "No Parking" signs on the street for vans for a family to move. Talked to the couple, "Not happening." Turns out they both tested positive for COVID-19; the moving company demands that no one in the house where the workers will enter test positive. Ouch! Another casualty of COVID - one that I'd never heard of before. Now they have to reschedule the movers as well as the street signs for a few weeks in the future. Predicting a time when they, and their three kids, will all test negative. Not a happy family right now.
Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. Salmon grilled on the porch was consumed on separate trays in front of Zoom presentations. I'm so old that I remember when everyone came to dinner where it was served, LOL. The only excitement on the trip to the supermarket was walking briskly wearing my mask wondering if I was now potentially positive since both of us had talked to the neighbors a few days ago - spaced apart, outside, on a windy day. Feel like I'm looking over my shoulder. DW thinks that we have to wait five days to use our home testing kits. I presume that we're supposed to hide under a rock until that's done. Strange times.
Real excitement was picking up from the library and then reading the BANNED book by Maia Kobabe, Gender Queer. It's a graphic novel; read it in one afternoon. A superbly written memoir of the suffering of one teen finding eir (pronouns: e/em/eir) path when e just doesn't have the feelings about boys, girls, and sex that society expects. The discussions about eir body and eir hated period certainly seem age-appropriate for high school kids. I suspect that the near-violent resistance to the book is eir experimenting, as a 20ish yo, with dating a girl. Which e didn't like any more than e imagined e'd like dating a guy. One diagram of eir at the doctor's office showed eir nude - a simple line sketch of the sort used in sex-ed books for fourth graders. My take is that it's a book that I'd have been happy if my kids had been exposed to - even though they are both in cis-gender roles. Not able to get my thinking straight about why it's so despised. As if we can't have a book about someone who thinks differently than we do.
onebyone - Thanks for "This Too Shall Pass" - it's so easy to fail to see that the current crisis is finite in size. Wish you well getting your head back on your path despite all the stuff happening. This juror business reminds me that, as adults, we aren't judged as often as kids who face that every day.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Interesting that you can see that a chaotic practice isn't so desirable when the future hold four planned surgeries. Congrats for thinking that one through.
maryann - Yay for shoes that are "VERY sparkly" - shake up the world a bit. Easy to imagine that you need the remainder of your wardrobe a tad subdued to avoid looking like a teen.
nationalparker – Ouch for the reminder how much a casual remark can hurt. I've done that before when I wasn't aware just how much tension was in the air turning "casual" remarks into hurtful ones. Yay for finding a discount when getting rid of your old tires.
Karen (karenrn) - Congrats for feeling free to cut your walk short of the top rather than suffer those awful little bugs. Always amused at Otis' need to avoid the recycling trucks.
curlyjax - Ouch for your DD's flu at the crucial start of her classes. Yay for Zoom to the rescue.
Penny. - Congrats for feeling healthy enough to do a grocery shopping run. Maybe your 11-yo will cause you to improve the amount of sleep you get.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 5Stage 2 - The Think Thin Initial Eating Plan
Before You Move On
And the longer you stay on the program, the more you will see your rebellious streak weakening as you: . . .
Reduce your cravings for unhealthy foods.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 126.
My boss didn't want me coming in to work until I had the covid negative results for my daughter, which I now have thank goodness. It's been intense family time since friday and I am looking forward to going back to work in person tomorrow! I'll work from home today but zip in to pick up some stuff to prepare for tomorrow. At some point during the night I woke up and started worrying about what if DS or I get sick right when we have to move DD in, but hopefully our immune systems are in good enough shape! I did make a nice salmon dinner last night along with Nationalparker's ferro dish again, modified a bit for the ingredients on hand, so I've had some healthy stuff along with a ton of not healthy stuff. I will get back on track but I'm frankly not worrying about it now.
Wave to everyone!
We were surprised with good news from the new eye doctor. We'd been told that DH needed cataract surgery which, due to his Fuch's Dystrophy, would lead to a need for corneal transplants. The whole process could take six months and DH could be functionally blind the entire time.
The new doctor thinks that DH has mild Fuch's and that modern cataract surgery won't make it worse. So, DH will need cataract surgery but may never need cornea replacement.
We know a few people who had stellar results from cataract surgery. The two people we know who had cornea transplants in the last year had less pleasing final results.
So, wonderful news for both the process and the outcome.
The office visit was less chaotic. I see the problem, now. At the old eye doctor's office, you went through tests with two or three different technicians and visited up to six different exam rooms, waiting in an internal waiting room in between.
In this office, you get one technician to lead you through. A bunch of the tests are done in the same exam room where you see the doctor. Any waiting is done in the exam room. There wasn't much waiting once we got in. They were running late, so we did wait in the outside waiting room -- but we've waited a lot longer at the old doctor's office.
Today's adventure is taking the pickup truck in for service. DH isn't really driving these days because of the cataracts, so I'm using the dealership's shuttle service. I'm disappointed that the dealerships have discontinued the valet service where they pick up the vehicle and bring it back. I would pay extra for that! But it's no longer offered.
Exercise +35, 875/1500 minutes for May
BillBlueEyes: I just requested GenderQueer from the library. I'd heard about it but hadn't realized that it contained exactly the sort of information that I want my old brain to understand about some of my younger friends. I've learned enough to keep my mouth shut when I don't know what I'm talking about, in order to not show my own ignorance as well as to not to harm others. But I don't know enough to understand what it's like to experience.
Food has been mostly on plan with a couple of low calorie snacks today. It's just a hungry day. Food was on plan yesterday and weight inching down from the bump up a couple of days or week ago. I did the same hike today that I did Monday. It's a new one for me and really nice because it is 95% in the shade due to the way it winds around the Phoenix Mountains. I will say in Washington those mountains would be called hills, but they work to make shade that early in the morning. We started at 5.
Otis took a good walk and he is now at the groomer. Of course he shook the whole way there and then I have to carry him in. When dh really does retire I'm going to have him share the duty of taking Otis to the groomer.
I've been kind of lazy and watching a new YouTube video I found called 2GoRoam. It's a couple from England that retired early, sold their home and are traveling the world. Of course they got a bit of a late start leaving because they were in lock down. I'm finding it very interesting, but know my traveling the world will have to be one trip at a time and still owning our home. Dh would never be that adventurous and of course we can't be; we have Otis!
GardenerJoy That is really good news about your husband's eyes. Good thing you changed to the new doctor so you could learn that good news. Maybe dh will get the cataract surgery soon so that he can drive again now that he doesn't have the long recovery time.
Curlyjax I'm glad dd didn't have Covid and hopefully you won't get sick at all.
Bill Your poor neighbors. What a horrible time for Covid to strike.
Maryann I'm glad the doctor said the toe is coming along fine. I don't think I want to watch over 60 videos on fashion. Isn't 60 the new 40?
Penny Good that the kids are helping with the grocery shopping. I would love to have a sherpa when I go to the grocery store. Maybe you've found a new way to get more sleep.
Nationalparker I hope you're having a good day and not having a huge work day at the in-laws again.
I'm in a better frame of mind today. Yesterday just continued to get worse, it seemed, but all relative to truly terrible things going on, so I cannot complain. I was crushed, though, when I was in our side yard and found two dead birds that were too young to fledge yet still fairly large (starlings) ... I was crying as these are babies that we see peeking out of their nest from our living room transom window. Buried them under my spirea. Then when I was mowing, I found the third, and buried that one, amid more tears. I guess I was just primed for emotions yesterday. Then today, I happened to see one of the parents come back to the nest again and spent the longest time looking for the babies (in my mind)... looking out and down this way and that then hopped back in the nest, then out and looking down like, "Where did they go to?" That got me all over again.
Today seemed to speed by, just doing random errands and chores. Feels good to have my own home get in more order. I'm going to have "game night" with my sister on a video call in a few minutes, so that will be good to connect.
DH got an offer for his car for the same amount that he paid for it three years ago, and I thought that was pricey then. So it's making more sense to sell that back and put the money in our "next car" fund, where we save up for the next vehicle. He will repair the truck that he will take as part of his inheritance. He's done a few minor things to the truck his brother wanted from their folks, as DH is much more mechanically inclined. A neighbor will let him use his lift in his huge garage, and so DH will be able to do other repairs much quicker. Every day he is telling me what he thinks the truck needs... I think to set in his mind that it's a good value. He'll put probably $2k into it and should get another 5 years out of it, hopefully. He is right, any trips we do, we take my comfortable CRV. We've put over 5,000 miles on it just to/from his folks house! Not counting any other driving in those months.
Food was just OK today. I had more bread than I needed. (Any is probably more than I need, haha).
Karen - Thank you for the explanation of your DH's surgery. I didn't understand why someone was giving you "the ball" after the surgery... I honestly didn't know what went into a hip replacement to start with, and my brother had one a year before he got pancreatic cancer.
Bill - When I read the first two lines of your post, I thought YOU had told the couple moving that they couldn't put out the no parking signs - "not happening". Not that the move wasn't happening. HA... I thought, WOW! Get 'em, Bill!
nationalparker: great news about padding the "next car" account. I love when that happens. BBE and Joy: I am front and center in the whirlwind of gender fluidity. The rules are changing as fast as my 16 years old change. My standard dialogue is is "Let me know what you need and be as generous with me making mistakes as i am with you on your work in learning history. " All has been well so far. Karen: I am currently in traveling overdrive but DH is in "def com 4" at the farm. He likes that I am busy and don't depend on him too much but he also works too hard when I am gone. Everything is a balancing act. Also, I am grateful a happy, long term marriage breaths into changes and seasons. Curleyjax: Glad your test was negative. Remember to take care of yourself. Less is more.
A good day at school. We had a meeting afterwards with our new department lead. it seemed to go well but I am still a little uncomfortable and over analytical on how I behaved. I just need to remind myself I am just not that important. Noone else is analyzing me. Also, I don't work out of malice so I get to be human. All this overthinking comes from a family of origin where it was unsafe to be vulnerable, or talk too much, or be too smart, or fill in the blank. It reminds me that as kids we make up rules to understand chaos and the rules become bindings and stretcher tables to torture us as adults.
Lighter topic. Food was too much but healthy. I bought samosas from a fundraiser in my Indian Community and will give them to DH for dinner. Yeah to no cooking. I modified a few more pieces of clothing which is kind of thrilling. I shortened bell shaped sleeves and 'pleated" a back of an oversized coat to highlight an hour glass figure. The pleat is simply a few temporary stitches (start with a safety pinned place marker) which will be covered by a brooch I bought on Poshmark. Fun.
Thursday - "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace" released (1999)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - After-kindergarten visit with the (6 yo) DGD started with 30 minutes on the playground with her friends. We weren't happy that two brothers - one with a HUGE crush on her - were poking her and pulling her hair in ways that seemed inappropriate. She said that she didn't mind. Ugh! Broke it up by declaring that it was time to go home. We're used to seeing them out there nearly killing each other all the time, but this was different. We'll have to find a way to deal with it in the future because the two brothers are fixtures of the group. Back at her house, I read DogMan to her - an absurd book whose puns and jokes seemed to appeal to a more sophisticated understanding of English but she liked it. Then she saw the instructions for how to draw DogMan and the cat, Petey in the back. Immediately grabbed pencil and paper and did a good rendition of both. Young talent never ceases to amaze. As well as young self-confidence. She just knew she could draw them.
Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. Dinner was grilled sausages on a baguette with loads of sauteed onions and Green Bell Peppers. Satisfied my yearning for fat, Italian Pork Sausage subs that we used to buy at street fairs but using small, chicken Asiago sausages. Still a lot of food, but maybe half the calories of the street version.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Such good news about your DH's eyes. Congrats to you both for seeking a second opinion. Glad that you're going to read Gender Queer - especially since it seems to be the poster book for the ban-books movement.
maryann - Getting samosas is such a treat - and getting them from a fund-raiser just makes them taste better. Thanks for the gender-fluidity response, "Let me know what you need and be as generous with me making mistakes as i am with you on your work in learning history." Using the Spivac pronouns (e/em/eir) for the one paragraph that I wrote yesterday about Gender Queer stretched my skills; I edited it three times before I finally got rid of all the she/her/hers that I naturally wrote.
nationalparker – Sorry that you had to experience the death of birds that you'd grown fond of. Neat that your DH has found a good way to accept the truck he's going to inherit to your advantage.
Karen (karenrn) - I'm in the group that couldn't leave my house and just roam the world carefree. We once met a couple when we were traveling in England who were on a one-year around-the-world adventure. They were near the end and were growing weary; were ready for the regularity of home.
curlyjax - Ouch for the worry that COVID could prevent you and your DS from helping your DD move. This COVID disruption is so very real.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 5Stage 2 - The Think Thin Initial Eating Plan
Before You Move On
And the longer you stay on the program, the more you will see your rebellious streak weakening as you: . . .
Feel satisfied with smaller portions.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 126.
DD is slowly getting better but is going to miss today's in person class. I'm a bit worried about how she's going to catch up since she's scheduled to work this weekend too but I guess it will all workout. I am going in to work today and I am looking forward to it! I am way off track with doing exercise, eating right etc but I know I will get back to it.
I just woke up from a dream that my mom was in, which was very nice. I miss her so much. I haven't dreamed about her in so long, maybe my brain knew I needed some maternal support! Wave to all!
As an adult who will be caring for others soon, she hopefully realizes all that you do for her. On so many fronts. 
Wednesday - US Supreme court affirms "separate but equal" racial separation (1896)
