[Penny.]

Good morning!

A little off plan the last couple days, and today will probably be too. My oldest son turns 21 today. I let the 15yo skip school and we had a really nice family breakfast of vegetarian biscuits and gravy, eggs, veggies, and vegetarian sausage links. The three siblings never seem to have days off together anymore so it's nice to hear them laughing and enjoying their stolen time together.

The 11yo had to go to school since she has already missed enough days and has a jog-a-thon fundraiser today, for which she somehow talked me into sponsoring her directly instead of the PTA. I might just have to do both.

Bill, that's tough managing other people's kid's behavior on the playground. My go-to line has always been a quick "not for doing" or a quick little "pulling hair is not for doing. thanks." At some point I learned 'not for doing' is a good way of avoiding judgement or explanation. It's just a thing that is not done. Had to laugh when I heard one of my teenagers say "not for doing" in another room the other day. Maybe they were talking to the dog.

Nationalparker, so sad about the baby birds. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Joy, wonderful news for your husband! I hope the cataract surgery is indeed all that is needed.

Curly, I'm glad your dd is starting to feel better already. That must be a good sign it's not too serious.

[karenrn]

Good morning coaches,

Food is on plan and weight down a tiny bit again. I got out for a good hike this morning, big surprise, but I'll take tomorrow off because I'm taking my friend to the doctor and won't have time to come home and get cleaned up. Otis wouldn't walk today because of the bins and I didn't feel like pushing him. I'm trying to make a list of clothing items I want, but don't really want to purchase until I've got a few more pounds off. It would probably be good to go see if I can even find what I want and try a few things on, but I really don't enjoy shopping much any more. I would buy a couple pair of shoes though I can't find the brand of the sandals I saw on a video. I guess I'll go stroll through Nordstrom's and see if I can find them.

Curlyjax Poor dd; that is really a bummer that she's sick. Maybe she should call in for work this weekend. At this point it seems like it would really be demoralizing to get behind right at the start of school.

Bill I don't think I'd be too keen on boys being that rough with my granddaughter, or her tolerating it either. Sausage and peppers on a baguette sounds delicious. I'll admit I probably couldn't roam the world for years either, at least not without having a home to return to, but I'm much more adventurous than dh. I think my ds would be someone who could do that though.

Maryann I'm so impressed with your artistic/creative modifications of your clothing. I'm just awful. It's like, "how can I cover my body and look pretty good? Do I really need something more than hiking clothes, jeans and a few dresses for weddings?" I'm working on getting better though.

Nationalparker I'm sorry to hear about the baby birds. What a sad chore to bury them. My friend had a bird that built a nest and laid eggs in a spring wreath on her door. That's great that dh can sell his car for what he paid for it, especially since he can wait on replacing it.

Waving to Penny, GardenerJoy and OnebyOne. Oops I thought I sent this an hour ago.

[gardenerjoy]

DH's niece is in crisis. But she refuses to communicate via anything but text and really wants nothing except for someone to echo her rage. Which isn’t my strong suit. And, also, not in her best interests in long run.

It erupted last night, so not good for sleep. I took care of a couple of scheduled things this morning. For the afternoon, I'm going to tackle the kind of things that don't require too much brain function.

Exercise +55, 930/1500 minutes for May

[maryann]

Good Afternoon, Coaches.

School was good. I thought of our workers and DH out in 100 degree weather moving pipe and I said a little gratitude prayer. My job seems a lot easier. Well today it did.

Weight is still high. I weighed myself when I got home to convince myself to stick to a protein drink only for the rest of the day. I am closing the kitchen early.

I am also continuing to focus on creating new outfits and actually wear them to school. By doing this I remind myself that while a little high, my pants still fit and I don't want to go higher. Also, in thinking of nationalparker, iI i am not going to wear something to school, it should not be in my wardrobe. I'll do the Kondo "Release with love. It is the rare occasion I go dressier than school and if is not comfortable enough for me to wear , I won't wear it. . So last night I put together a statement necklace. I had bought a 72 inch strand of 8mm faux pearls year ago at Nordstrom. I have worn it maybe once. No matter what I did it always seem too dressy. I also have a beautiful set of Majorica gold, silver and cream large cultured pearls from 15 years ago. Again. Limited wear. Not so in style. So I did some research on how to update. I ended up purchasing "neckalce shorteners" https://www.amazon.com/Infinity-Clip...700478&psc=1to create multi strands ( which is currently "in"). Who knew? I attached the baroque pearls to the longer strand and then made a mix level combination. I wore it with a chambray shirt and dark wash ankle skinnies and ankle suede boots. Not too fancy at all. I also made a pinterest board of a celebrity who has similar measurements as myself and has a street style I like. Believe it or not it was Christina Hendricks of Madmen. Not the same measurements but yes the same proportion and I am only an inch shorter. I like how she dresses ( not the runway stuff.) So I am studying her street style pictures. https://ibb.co/1K9Xq13. My outfit today was inspired by this look. https://ibb.co/tpq4PHp. I added the multi strand pearls and it looked great.

So I am doing all this because i can't seem to attack the food head on. I need to focus on healthy and happy. It is an interesting hobby to me and very empowering. Plus I continuing to whittle away my wardrobe to only things I love.

I know when I retire I will need far fewer clothes.

Wave to all

[nationalparker]

Hello, coaches! It has been a strange day in a way, I feel like I'm playing hooky from working at the in-laws. I know we're going there tomorrow, Sunday and Monday, so why couldn't I just fully relax? Day 22 of my Challenge and I failed today - I could have gotten on the bike but just forgot about it. I did haul all my terracotta pots from the garage to the back patio, and also we had some firewood in a wheelbarrow in the garage for really cold nights to resupply our indoor stack that I moved back to the woodpile. I could have done that a while ago but I saw it but didn't SEE it. Did a little rock painting prepping a few rocks to get started with new designs. A friend lost a family member and has asked to talk to me the past three days over her lunchtime at work, and so I've committed to being there and listening, not doing other things while we talk family dynamics. Tonight we're going to go see the Downton Abbey movie, DH agreed to go with me. I don't mind movie-going alone but he does enjoy "going to the show" as he calls it, and will sit through something he doesn't really enjoy way more companionably than I do. I made a few side dishes as that will help us with meals if we're in a hurry this weekend, and I had Thai Crunch Salad with Peanut Dressing, and I just sub agave nectar for the honey. The dressing is NOT light, but that, and a few chopped peanuts, are the calories of the meal.

Bill - I was going to see if your library had the book "Let's talk about Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect" since it's aimed at DGD age... But I think Penny's line "Not for doing" is SUPERB. I'm going to use that myself because it takes the attack out of it (YOU stop that) in regular interactions with my grandkids. I remember one time my DGS was on a slide and an older kid came down HARD on him and I actually was at the end, taking a photo of his huge smile... and the next photo was a grimace, his hair flying up and the kid's feet jammed in his back. When it happened, I mama beared to the older intruder,, "HEY WATCH IT! You're on a toddler's slide!!" Not my best Nana moment.

Penny - Thank you for that line - and I LOVE that you recently heard it in your home, even if it was for your pooch. Haha. Continued good vibes for feeling better daily!

Joy - Good luck with the DN drama. You seem to do a good job of realizing what you can/cannot offer. Wise!

Maryann - I love how you are really looking at your closet and what makes you feel good wearing. I keep culling things slowly, even if it's a new pair of socks that I know will slide down in boots. (gift). While that seems so minor, it's one more thing. I have vintage Coro costume jewelry from my Mom that I enjoy and now think I should bring it out more often! It always makes me smile ... and I often get questions on it.

Karen - I have made so much use of a feature on my phone that you take a photo of something and then hit "lens" and it tells you what it is, where to buy it, etc. I have taken a photo of an outfit of Jenna Bush Hager on Today and saw where to buy the top. If I could have afforded it, I mean. haha... not sure if your phone has that for the sandals you'd like to find...?

CurlyJax - Good luck with DD feeling much better, soon! Hang in there with the full house!

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Walked, CREDIT moi, stopping by our community garden to see that our Sugar Snaps are about two feet tall fully entwined on their support fence - a lovely site. The tomato plants are nearly one foot tall. The lettuce is small, but colorful and looking salad-ready. The time of hope for a veggie garden.

I loaned my library copy of Gender Queer to a neighbor with a 15 yo DD. Thought she ought to have read the book that is leading the fight for censoring books that her kid might read. It's painful to be lending a BANNED book to a friend - even thought of bringing it over in a brown wrapper, LOL. Not really LOL - SUPER OUCH! Reminds me that we passed around a book in high school that we weren't supposed to be reading. The book fell open to the 'good' part because most folks just wanted to read that. I no longer remember which book.

Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. Dinner of reheated grilled salmon was consumed on trays as DW was an observer of a two-hour Zoom meeting that bored her and I participated in a Zoom meeting of five folks of whom only three made it. Ouch! It's hard to make decisions that will impact a committee with only a few present. The two missing members had valid excuses; life just gets busy and family commitments come first.


Joy (gardenerjoy) - Good luck trying to figure out how to be a supportive Great Aunt who also is helping to move someone out of a rut. All constrained by text messages. Neat notion of doing things "that don't require too much brain function."

maryann - I do admire the notion of reducing the wardrobe to only clothes that are being worn. I seem to confuse my closet with the notion of a mausoleum.

nationalparker – Thanks for the tip about Let's talk about Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect - I just requested it from my library network. Will be helpful to get my head straight. Yay for having a DH who'll sit through a movie that isn't his first choice.

Karen (karenrn) - Good luck with your shopping. It's tough being in that spot where you want clothes for a few pounds lighter.

curlyjax - Such good news that your DD is getting better - especially since she's starting a challenging 18 month program. Neat that you can have a dream of your mom that feels supportive.

Penny. - 'Not for doing' is just the best phrase ever. Definitely will adopt that in dealing with the 6 yo's and maybe other situations. Happy 21st Birthday to your DS. Love the image of them laughing together at a stolen breakfast.

Readers -

Chapter 5 Stage 2 - The Think Thin Initial Eating Plan

Before You Move On

And the longer you stay on the program, the more you will see your rebellious streak weakening as you: . . .

• Experience the advantages from your deck.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 126.

[curlyjax]

Very long day last night. DD is so stressed out about various aspects of nursing school. She really needs to find a way to calm herself down. She did go off to class today on very little sleep. I am also operating on very little sleep but at least it is a shorter day. My task for the next two weeks is to think about arranging her stuff so we can pack it in a uhaul easier. She doesn't have a bureau but will have a closet and there are a LOT of clothes. It is going to be SUPER hot here over the weekend so there's a limit to what I'll be able to get done, ugh.
Dinners are going to be cold chicken and salad. I'm having a challenging time getting back to thinking about what to make for dinner, I'm out of the habit.
Maryann- I'm impressed by your attention to fashion! I tend to wear two colors that don't clash and that's that but my hot weather dresses and skirts are all nice flowery things.
Penny- happy birthday to your 21 year old!

[gardenerjoy]

I'm getting a bone scan today. I was supposed to get it in the spring of 2020, just after I was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism. Fortunately, I didn't break any bones in the last two years. I think they also want this for a base line, so it's time to get it done.

I'll offer to be in-person with my niece after that. But anticipate that I may be turned down. Possibly with rude language. But, at least, it will be a contact.

Exercise +45, 975/1500 minutes for May

[karenrn]

Good morning coaches,

Food was on plan and weight is the same. No hike today but I did get Otis out for a walk and I'll soon be getting ready to take my friend to the doctor. Her daughter from NY is here, but doesn't drive much and is not comfortable driving in traffic.

I did go to Scottsdale Fashion Square yesterday to look at clothes. I tried on some things at Nordstrom, but when I went out to get a smaller size pants my dressing room was taken, so I moved on to a couple other stores. At least I have a vague idea of what size I'm wearing. I finally found the sandals I thought I might like. I never could find the video I found them in and hadn't taken a photo. They are Taos brand. I purchased them online and also purchased some white jeans, a coral blazer, and a black and a white tee shirts with longer short sleeves. Now all I have to do is hope that some of them fit. It was certainly easy to order and they'll all be here within a couple of days.

GardenerJoy Is it a bone density scan you're having? Good luck with your niece. What a difficult situation.

Curlyjax Oh my, I hope dd relaxes a bit after she is in class for a week or so. Will she have room at her apartment for all of her things or do you get to keep some? Good luck with all of that.

Bill Sounds like the garden is growing well. With the warm temperatures it will probably really start growing quickly. We had red lentil Dahl last night and loved it. No baguette though. I think I'll get some whole wheat pita for next time.

Nationalparker Sounds like you got plenty of exercise even if it wasn't the planned exercise. I printed the salad recipe. Sounds good.

Oh I've got to run. Hopefully the remainder of the personals later.

[Penny.]

Good morning!

Yesterday included two celebratory family meals and a dessert. Weight is holding at the top of the better decade and will hopefully start coming back down with jumping back on plan today. That was the last birthday in the family until fall.

Glad to know you like my "not for doing" response Bill and NationalParker. It helps to treat kids like little foreign exchange students who just haven't learned our culture. Lol

Karen and Maryann are inspiring me to want to freshen up my wardrobe. I'm sure I'll be wanting to shop a little when it truly warms up for summer.

Curly, good luck with the move this weekend! Hopefully your daughter's stress level will come down when she doesn't have the additional move and illness adding to the school stress. That's a lot!

Have a great day, everyone!

[maryann]

Super cool multicultural club day. Everything was as authentic as you can get since our school has so many first and second generation immigrants - Afghani, Latina, Punjabi, Mong. Great Sikh boy dancing group. They could be on tv they are so good. Then took a couple hours off for an early weekend. That is the beauty of my job and the deal i made with myself. I will teach longer but take as many breaks as iI need. In honor of multi cultural day my students who had been studing Africa made masks. I did a slide deck on cultural masks. One boy asked "can we do black face?" I immediately docked him precious class activity time. We had deliberately studied African American influence in music which included the history of blackface and how it is reasonable that certain groups are sensitive to the subject. I asked him why he thinks we studied it and why didn't he incorporate his new learning. Sheesh. He was briefly berated by the class. Lesson learned.

Weight down one pound. Not much but ok. I have committed to continuing yoga today after a week's absence. granted, I have been nursing my toe. DH is moving pipe. I will drive down to the ranch with dinner and a movie Hacksaw Ridge which he will love.


BBE: I am now interested in finding out if out library has said book. In my day it was Judy Bloom,'s "Are you there , God, it is me, Margaret."
Penny: I am struggling to get to that better decade. this is the weekend to do it.
Karen: White jeans are fabulous. I bought a wide leg ceam work pant. Coral is one of my favorite color. it allegedly looks good on everyone.

[nationalparker]

Hello Coaches! A good day - physically as well as mentally tired. We went to in-laws after DH's routine dr. appt to check med level, and we loaded nearly a ton of steel and got up to the recycle center, unloaded all of it into various dumpsters as directed, some for "heavy metal" which I thought it was ALL heavy. We got back home just in time to unhitch the trailer from the truck, load up my car with our stuff and head to pick up DGS, a half hour away. He announced, several times, that we took too long to get there. But our "assigned" pickup time was 3 p.m. and that's when we arrived. He is just so close to my heart, a sweet soul. Stepdaughter had said she wanted her granny's good china so I packed and boxed it all up for her a while back and we loaded it up and dropped it off today. She said, "I don't know where you think I'm going to put all of this." I said, "If you don't want it, let us know and we'll sell it to the antique store for the estate." She said, oh .. we'll have a yard sale and if I don't want it, we'll sell it there. Ahhh... now her motivation comes to light.

DGS absolutely loves an egg noodle dish that I make and so, of course, I make it for him. He ate two bowls and wanted more. I worried about him getting sick from being too full (he's 4.5, not a teen ) ... then he finished off his bowl of grapes. His mom has turned mealtime into a battle of YOU EAT THAT and he rebels and doesn't eat much of anything. Here, I do not want any meals to be unsettling. I always have part of the meal be foods that I know he likes, add in some fruit that I know he will like, and ask that he tries a bite of something new. I was very surprised that he tried and liked my Asian cole slaw. He said, "Just an itty bitty piece" so I gave him one shred and said it's made with peanut butter. He went Ohhhh Hmmm...I like that. He looked at both of us during dinner and said, "I'm just so happy now!" Later, when we were playing with the kinetic sand, he did the same thing, "I'm so happy! I love you Nana and Papa!" My heart. I set up our kiddie pool before dinner and he dropped in about 30 fish toys and we put on our swimsuits and I FROZE getting sprayed with the hose and he screamed like a Halloween haunted house visitor when he got sprayed. Just a good time.

Food has been good today. I find it HARD to not snack as much as he snacks. I offer him food now and then between meals because he is on the go. And skinny as a rail. He loves the gold nugget mandarins and would eat as many as I let him each day, so I limit it to 1.5 as his mom asks me to.

Maryann - Oh goodness i remember that book, Are you there god... It went through my sixth grade like fire. We lived in Italy then, and could only get it from the navy exchange (no ordering like now). Funny memories ... thank you. When you wrote about jewelry yesterday, I looked up Coro jewelry and found

this

and then had to show to dh and said I'd buy that choker with tiny white flowers if it was still for sale. I haven't bought any jewelry in probably a decade.

Karen - Impressed at leaving the dressing room "to get a smaller pair of pants" YAY! Good job, as always!

Bill - One of my great joys in life is our library and the ability to put items at other branches on hold and have them delivered to whichever branch I need it to go to. I LOVE that.

CurlyJax - I hope you're able to stave off DD's illness and get some zen time for yourself. I get stressed FOR you when she comes home. I keep waiting for some drama to get whipped up.

Penny - Two fun dinners and dessert sounds like a great way to celebrate! I used to love being able to pick my birthday dinner as a kid. Now DH gets that chance... and this year I was surprised that he wanted spaghetti and plant based meatballs. I never knew that was such a fave of his.

Joy - I hope your scan went well and equally as hopeful that you weren't rebuffed rudely by DN.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Walked, CREDIT moi, to get my hair cut, finally admitting that I looked a tad ragged from any angle except straight ahead in the bathroom mirror. She was glad to see me, as always, teasing me for staying away for so long and sending greetings to DW who also uses her. Excitement was taking a home COVID-19 test; we both registered NEGATIVE - Hooray! I continue to wonder how many folks can, or bother to, follow the multiple steps of the home testing kit. I don't know if the "Control band" will fail to show if the test isn't properly constructed or whether NEGATIVE is the default value. We now have several boxes of home test kits; I finally marked the expiration date of each in large marker. I only recently became aware that they had expiration dates. We've been parsimonious in their use - a long way from my DD's comment that to be useful one would need to be taken every single day.

Evening event was an opera performed live downtown Boston - their third attempt for the opening performance. I wore the accordion mask recommended by Joy (gardenerjoy) and felt both comfortable and safe for the two and a half hours. Was new to me, Champion, an Opera in Jazz, the story of Emile Griffith. Was delighted to enjoy the music, even though it wasn't Bel-canto Italian opera. The cast was all African-American except for the few characters who had to be White in Griffith's story. Unlike Porky and Bess, the audience was nearly half African American. DW went double-masked. We wore masks on the subway ride there and back. Was neat to encounter a real story - unlike most opera stories that use thin characters for allegorical stories.


Joy (gardenerjoy) - Yay for "didn't break any bones in the last two years" - kinda sobering thing to celebrate. Sending supportive thoughts to you and your DGN as she fights her demons.

maryann - So neat that your school has so many different cultures that the kids are proud to celebrate. Ouch for carefully teaching the kids about the pain of "blackface" only to have one ask as if he'd not been there.

nationalparker – Bursting with joy reading, "I'm just so happy now!" You guys provide such a helpful role in that kid's life. I do know the problem of feeding snacks to bodies that need them while passing on them because my body doesn't.

Karen (karenrn) - Congrats for going out to deal with your wardrobe. Whole wheat pita sounds nice.

curlyjax - Good luck packing your DD for nursing school. Hopefully, the angst will reduce when she realizes that she's quite qualified to be there and all the other students aren't more brilliant than she is.

Penny. - Good to have celebratory family meals behind you for a while. Like the notion, "treat kids like little foreign exchange students who just haven't learned our culture."

Readers -

Chapter 5 Stage 2 - The Think Thin Initial Eating Plan

Before You Move On

And the longer you stay on the program, the more you will see your rebellious streak weakening as you: . . .

• Feel virtuous, instead of deprived, when you resist unplanned food.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 126.

[gardenerjoy]

Yes, karenrn, it was a bone density scan that I got, yesterday. Different from the bone scan that DH had last year after his cancer diagnosis. My scan was much quicker and more comfortable than I anticipated.

I got the results last night. My lumbar spine and right hip are in the normal range. My left hip is in the range for osteopenia, but still well above the osteoporosis range. I won't see the doctor until July, but assuming the blood test is fine, my guess is that the treatment will be to continue taking Vitamin D.

I'm also going to make some effort to be aware of which side I'm putting weight on when I stand. I know my habit tends toward the right. If weight-bearing helps make strong bones, then I figure it would be better to develop a habit of shifting my weight to the left to make the left hip do its share of the work.

I got a profanity-laced proof-of-life text from DN yesterday, but no willingness to talk through her situation in person. She wants something that no one is going to give her -- partly because the conclusion she's drawn isn't shared by anyone else and partly because even if it were true, her desired strategy is a poor one. I can't explain that to an enraged person via text, so I just don't respond. I'll keep stating my willingness to talk in person. When she texted yesterday, she was 36 hours into her rage. I can't sustain rage for 36 minutes because it's exhausting.

I wrote out all my thoughts and feelings about the situation, yesterday. It took two hours and more than five pages of typing. That helped me get to a place where I can live my own life while I wait for her to get to a different place in her life.

Exercise +55, 1030/1500 minutes for May

BillBlueEyes: I saw the world-premiere of Champion at the Opera Theater of St. Louis several years ago. A group of us from my book club went to see it. Such a powerful story.
I've been wearing my accordion mask for months, now. I think the mask, itself, is still in great shape. I got the around-the-head band because that helped so much with fit for the cloth masks. The band has begun to wear out. I'm going to replace it with the same mask with ear loops. The mask seals so well that it almost doesn't need support, at all. So, I'm hoping the ear loops will last longer.

[maryann]

Happy Saturday, Coaches.

Last night I brought DH dinner at the ranch and we watched a movie. I gave him a foot rub. He moved pipe for hours and today he is going to load another cord of wood for us to head back up to Truckee. I told him I started registering people into his "circuit training" personal fitness classes. He just laughed. At nearly 60, he is amazing. He had a heartbreaking visit to the jail to see his farm manager. It is doubtful the man will ever get out of prison. The nephew went back to Mexico. DH suspects nephew had something to do with the mess. Now DH is working on his own in the orchard. Still I feel like he is happy he can still do the physical labor although it is ridiculous for him to be doing it . DH is the brains of the operation. We have a saying in AA. I have a God in my hula hoop and DH has one in his. I can't try to mix things up. My job is to deliver hot meals, companionship, and foot rubs.

Weight is down again - two pounds to a better decade. I did yoga and feel much better.

Joy: I applaud your boundary of not engaging in emotional topics through text. It helps no one and is a set up for abuse. I have learned this big time in AA. Woman who want me to sponsor them but only text.
nationalparker: Looked up Coro jewelry on Poshmark. I love the stuff. I just bought a 3 inch similar brooch to "pleat" the back of a coat.
BBE; great that you two could get out and feel safe. i don't even think about it anymore. We are unmasked at school. it is just a part of life. It will will be interesting if my Canada trip goes without a hitch. I have to test before coming back into the country.