Tammy, just keep telling yourself that your son will be safer with his dad. Once your situation clears up more, he'll be back with you. Meanwhile, you can concentrate on you and your girls. You will get through this. You will. I don't know if you've been able to eat, but try to get something nutritious into your stomach and get some sleep. In the morning you can call and talk to your boy. He'll probably be worried about how you're doing, but relieved to be away from the scary atmosphere.
This won't get easier for some time yet, but you're on the right road. Just try to hold out for a while longer. We're all here supporting you from afar.
Your son's flight to his father's home reminds me of the thousands of children evacuated from London back in 1939. War was soon being declared and children were sent to safety.
Hearts of both parents and kids alike were, I'm certain, strained to the breaking point! It was a horribly sorrowful time for all involved, but the safety of these innocents was of the utmost importance.
Right now, your personal homeland is in a state of war. Though right now it hurts like **** and it seems like you're losing him forever, your future with your boy is so much brighter than anything those families faced during WWII. Your boy's going to be with his father, a man who loves him and, like you, is putting the child's needs first.
Don't lose heart, dear! This is but a season. You're in our prayers.
Tammy,
I'm so glad to hear you are standing up for yourself and taking some action. I agree that you are showing so much courage right now. Everything will start to straighten out soon.
Tammy, hang in there....at least you have some sound legal advice and support.
and feel free to acknowledge the fact that his authority figures also know he is a big-time liar and a real dumbs*!@t too. The "nanny" story proved it along with the other entangled lie about the reason to request leave.
He attacked you personally, abused you mentally, caused you horrific stress/pain and then had the AUDACITY to ACCUSE YOU OF BEING AT FAULT! They were figments of his own making (to justify his own bad behavior pehaps?). Right now, many people think that he is a "terrible husband"...throwing his own words right back at him. can I say wattajerk?
you ARE going to be OK. during the next few weeks you will at least be able to come to terms with all that has happened and formulate a new plan & financial strategy for your family. You won't have him harrassing you constantly causing you extra grief and stress.
I was able to get a temporary restraining order through the courts today. We go to court on the 30th to see if we can make it a little more permanent. It was rough having to re-live all that again. It had to be done though. I was there all day long. For some reason there is no police report from Sunday when I called the police.
I did learn that I can receive spousal support and child support before the divorce. I have to fill out that paper work and turn it in. He thinks military legal was harsh he has no idea what it is going to be like to deal with California courts. This so could have been avoided had he put his kids first. I am fighting for these kids now. They deserve the best.
I miss my son terribly. It makes me teary eyed right now. He did get there ok and seems to be having a good time so far. Sometimes it's just hard letting go. Really hard.
You're making so much progress, Tammy. I know you're feeling so many emotions right now ~ anger, sadness, worry and so on, but you're getting what needs to be done in place and showing the strength that'll get you through this to the end. It all bodes well for your new life. Of course you miss your son, but he's in the best place 'til things get settled and he'll thank you in the future. You're a good mum and a good person!
I agree with Jilly. You're moving forward in leaps and bounds. I can feel your strength coming through the words you're writing here. You're reclaiming your rights and starting to believe in yourself. Keep at it, Tammy.
I have to third that, Tammy...
The progress you've made over the past couple of weeks is astonishing.
Keep it up...stay on this track and eventually you'll be OK.
You're doing the right thing!
I got my own bank account today. It's the account that he will have to put half of his paycheck in. Made me feel pretty liberated. His chief came by today to serve him with the restraining order. I have 60 days left in housing. Just taking it day by day. My daughter thinks we are going to be homeless and counts down each day til we are homeless. I am trying to tell her we are not going to be homeless. Anyways both girls are going to be going to counseling. His chief is going out of his way to help me. Tells me alot about how they are thinking about Seth.
Tammy, you're really taking back your power! I'm so proud of you--we're all proud of you. You're a wonderful mother. I feel for you having to let your son go, but as others have said, it's the best place for him until you get back on your feet. Everything will work out for you, Tammy.
Congratulations Tammy!!! You are taking control of a bad situation. My money is on you that you will persevere and come out of this, gain a better life and feel empowered, not down-trodden.
So your resources will help you find something to bring in some extra cash (BTW, medical transcriptionists work from home and get paid by the line, you get dictations via email. Good if you have young kids and can't afford daycare, learning the lingo is a short process).
Good luck on finding housing and moving into a stress-free environment.
Tammy - I may get to post every day, but I have been following your progress and I must say that I am so impressed by how far you have come!!! You go girl!! I am very proud of you.
I am wondering how you are holding up health wise. Are you eating?
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Keep at it, Tammy.
