Good Luck Tammy. You don't need to defend your decision. Just be comfortable and confident in it. Counselling is a good step. Hope your tummy lets you keep down some healthy food soon. Keep us all posted. Stay strong
I hope you find some peace and can regain your strength, both mentally and physically.
Only you know what is right.....but be WARY and keep your accounts in your name only....leopards DO NOT change their spots. He's broke and you have a place to live......I wouldn't buy into his line about not sleeping with her......
I'm not saying this to be hurtful, but the coincidence that your court date was this week and now what?
Last edited by marbleflys; 10-15-2005 at 05:58 PM.
Tammy, I think you must be a fantastically strong woman to be generous enough to take the position that you are taking. Like everyone else, I don't see that you need to justify your decisions, and the choice you are making. I too really really hope that you are getting some support to make sure that you do not have to take any emotional abuse. And lets hope that the medics can help you sort out the eating thing....
Tammy you don't have to defend your actions. You are going through a lot still and trying to sort it all out. I think that you do need to be on guard with him because you aren't sure of his motives.
As for your blog, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to post the link since I had it from when you posted here before.
Best wishes Tammy, I truly hope things work out. I won't say more, I think you have a good grip on what is going on and being on guard is a good idea. I will say though that my husband has been on anti-depressants because of his mood swings and then saw a physiciatrist who told him that he didn't need anti-depressants, that he need anger management... which actually he could probably use but he wouldn't go for the therapy. He went off the meds then started back up a month later because he didn't like the way his moods were. Also some of the anti-depressants can have sexual side-effects and your hubby may get upset if he is experiencing these and want to quit taking his meds. Just to let you know, this happened with the first anti-depressant my husband was taking.
I know why you feel like you have to defend your decision but don't. We stick by you no matter what you decide to do.
He tried to commit suicide on the 17th. He took over 150 pills. Most of them being serequil. He took them in front of me and then tried to run off. He did it so quickly I could not stop him. He had planned it somewhat because he had the pills in his pocket. My neighbor got him and then it took two other men to hold him down til the ambulance came. He's still in the hospital. Yesterday he was out of it for most of the day and was much more coherent that night when I went up there.
There is not much else I can say. I am shocked, saddened, angry, etc. Not helping is he took my Ativan and I am withdrawing from it. It's a drug you have to taper off. My psych doc does not seem to want to give me anymore even after I told them they could call and talk to the nurse at the hospital and confirm what had happened. So, I'm winging it now. I don't know how but I am.
I am so sorry about what happened. I haven't been around much as i have been in severe pain with my leg and having major husband problems, which has depressed me so much i want to eat everything at McDonald's LOL. anyway i haven't cheated considering i have the strong urge to eat McDonald's.
Anyway I would think the doctor should give you a prescription, it isn't your fault he took your meds and now you have to suffer. I know withdrawals from medications are not fun. I was on Effexor once and that's just an antidepressant, well i had to go through withdrawals for two weeks (i chose to discontinue it on my own as i hated the fact that if i didn't have the co pays and missed a dose i would have dizziness, sweating, and nausea). It took a few weeks to get back on my feet.
Hi there. Sorry to hear what happened. I hope you are realizing now that most of what has been going on is a result of his emotional problems. It is not anything that is your fault. You have been a good mom and a good wife. You've done more for him than a lot of women would have done.
If you haven't already, his command needs to know about the suicide attempt. If he is not mentally able to serve, he should NOT be in a position to defend this country. Command needs to know.
I am so sorry to here about this latest development with Seth. I hope that you are making tending to your own health a priority. Your kids need you well. Sending you peace and prayers. Denise
Tammy, I'm so sorry about this latest development. Frankly, it seems to me like a sad and cruel attempt to punish you. I hope that he gets the help that he needs to get his life in order and become the husband you need and the father his kids need.
Command knows. I called them that night when it happened.
He overheard me talking to my neighbor about how I could not take this anymore after I had learned he had slept with "her" after he had come home and pledged his undying love and so forth. I wanted him to leave. That is why he did this. He does not even remember telling me that if I was not going to be with him then he did not want to ever be with anyone else. Thus the reason for the attempt.
Basically what happened is he took me for granted for 2 1/2 years and then tasted what the other side was like and he figured out that he did love me and he did want to be a family. It's just to bad he had to figure this out by screwing around and hurting me so much.
I feel like I have post traumatic stress. I can still see him standing on those stairs taking all those pills. It consumes my thoughts. Just the whole thing. I feel traumatized.
I saw my family doc yesterday and he straightened out my pills. I have a nice family doctor at the clinic. Very understanding and willing to help.
You know I have two choices. We can work this out or I can just call it quits. I've decided we can work this out. He stood by me through all my mental crap. And there was alot of crap. I'm on a good anti-depressant now that has changed my life but that does not change the fact that he did not leave me before. I did not go out and cheat and stuff, but I certainly was not easy to get along with. I am hoping that he will find the same peace once he gets his meds right. He is at the doc's this morning. I told him that he has to be firm and tell them he needs to see the psych and can't wait for them to make him an appointment three weeks out. He needs medical attention NOW not when it is almost to late.
I feel in my heart that he is ready to be serious and make this work. Of course this has taken a great deal of trust from me to make this decision. Trust which I am not sure he deserves. I am just a firm believer in doing everything possible to make a marriage work. As you all know I won't let him emotionally abuse me every again. That starts again and I will not take that ever again. He is getting a second chance and hopefully he does not abuse that second chance.
I know that some of you may not be spiritual but I am. I have prayed this entire time. I never prayed for him to come home I prayed for strength and peace. God has given me my strength and to a degree enough peace for me to keep going. It was not Seths time to die. God spared Seth for one reason or another and for me I have to give him this second chance for our marriage.
We all make mistakes, and granted he made a huge one, I can't just say that I want my marriage to end. I just hope that he learned from his mistakes and carries those lessons into our lives and does the best he can.
I'm going into this blind and can only hope for the best.
