Hey all. Raven, ignore my earlier email, if you want. I understand turning away from people when you need them the most. I am a pro at that. Know we are here for you, through good times, bad times, and Sergeant Raven times. Let me know what YOU need from me. That's what friends are for. And never forget that while your past experiences may shape you, you are more than just your past. You are what you have made of yourself, and you are wonderful.
And yes, Chachee. I will remember not to sabotage myself. I stayed away from fast food tonight, even though it was hot and I didn't really want to cook. I did skip the barn though It was so hot and humid. And I still had tons of laundry to catch up on at home, that i just didn'tgo. I will pay Saturday. But anyway. I refuse to let Dad's behavior affect mine. I am in charge of my destiny, and I will not play the victim in my life like he does.
Have a good evening all. I hope you are feeling better Red. And Happy, I don't know what made me laugh harder "perky, perky, perky" or the image of you with big feet and ears.
Jolly, Happy, Chach... Thank you. After reading everything you guys wrote, I went in the bathroom here and had a really good cry. Then I left work early (it was Thursday, early off day for V's lessons) and went to the stables and we did horse stuff. I needed that badly. I can't tell you how much your replies helped. Each one of you said something I needed to hear. I've never really had support like I get here before in my life. It's made a huge difference in being able to work through things.
I just dumped a HUGE emotional load in my journal, too. That helped. I'm feeling much more like ME today, and I know I'll be ok. No panic, no anxiety about this all, just a kind of acceptance of what is.
I'm still very tired, but it's not that debilitating mental/emotional fatigue. I'm just tired.
I'm sorry I haven't been there to support you guys this last several weeks. I've been so focused on myself. I promise to do better from now on.
It's Friday and OMG I'm so broke. Shadow is still lame, may need x-rays to see if it's an old bone spur acting up. Nick rode Eve! Both of them did amazingly well! We definitely found our dressage training horse!! Eve knows far more than we do, that's for dang sure. She was a little jumpy, a little nervous, but I think the last 3 weeks of groundworking the snot out of her made a HUGE difference. Still have a long ways to go, but wow. It's obvious she's going to be great for us. Machine did great on his lesson. He's impatient, and doesn't like working on the basics, but this is a great way for him to learn about learning. It's something he wants, and badly, so he'll do it.
Food has been whatever I can scrape together, and probably will continue to be so till payday. Blah... you'd think I could get a handle on this money nonsense. I'm working on it, it is getting better, but I need to work harder. Water. Hm. Yeah. I need to drink that, don't I. Working out. Hm. Yeah. I need to do that, don't I.
Lets see if I can get this roller coaster ride to slow down just a bit, eh?
Raven: Glad we were all able to help you out. We're here for each other to lean on, and get lean with, right?? I know it's really a struggle at times, but look at what an incredible woman you are in spite of all you have gone through. As far as "not being there for us the past few weeks", we can't be everything for everyone all the time. Focus on the priorities, and everything else will fall into place. We know life happens and we will still be here. Heck, at least I will because I'm in it for the long haul!
Happy: PERKY PERKY PERKY is my new mantra! Who needs to meditate when I can chant that and have my mood immediately lifted?! That cracked me up. You know, that is what I told the doc when he said he would take me down to a 36 C. I almost jumped up and slapped him for telling me such a joke! He said I would be "perky", gosh, haven't seen that since 4th grade. Went straight from a training bra overnight to an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! So, the word "perky" doesn't get much use in my home. I might end up being one of those "girls gone wild" flashing everyone I can and telling them "PERKY PERKY PERKY"!!
Jolly: I am so proud of you resisting the fast food urge. I know that is a struggle for you, and to overcome it and stick with what you had planned is such a big step. I know it's going to seem overwhelming to you getting your house back in order, but know it's going to take a little while. Give yourself some time to just enjoy the peace and quiet again!
Alright, ladies, busy weekend for me. Helping my friend move, which means lots and lots of exercise tomorrow. Sunday I was going to stay home in pj's and veg out, but it's so gorgeous up here right now, I might plan a trip to the Zoo with my little big man. Summers are so short up here you have to take advantage of the nice days when you can, right Raven?
Chach - 36C! That's what I wear... I'm nowhere NEAR perky! Darnit. But you will be, that's for sure.
Summer in Alaska. Don't blink, you'll miss it. Though I know the last several summers have been unreasonably warm up there. And I wanted to say, too... about the housecleaning thing that you did for the pregnant couple. Wow. I can kind of sort of go there with the "gee they may have not wanted things touched" thing or whatever but.. wow. I can't believe someone reacting like that. Sorry, the first thing that popped into my head was "spoiled brats." *blink* I hope the friend you're helping move appreciates your help much more!! If you go to the zoo, have a great time!! Hug the leopards for me, eh?
Hey all. Raven, I am glad things are seeming better. Hope to have an "e" from you soon Chachee, good luck with the moving. And thank you SO much for your comments on my eating. I was still craving fast food, and there is a McDonald's right across the street. I had enough of "being good." I didn't care how nice it was to look in the mirror and start to see cheek bones, or have pants fit. NO matter how it affected the scale on Monday, I was going to go pig out. Double cheeseburger, McChicken, supersized fries, chocolate shake. I was having it all. Then I read your posts. On how good I am doing resisting. So I am now munching on the soup, veggies, yogurt and apple I packed.
Hey, y'all. Sure is lonely over the weekends. Had a good day. Had a nice ride on my pony. Good workout - including the dreaded weights - at the gym. So far, have not been a couch potato, though am enjoying it now. Thanks, again, to Chachee's posts, I have not gotten any fast food. I know the urge was binge related - I was stressed, a bit bummed, still sick. If it would have just been "having a taste" for it, where I could have just went and gotten a cheeseburger, that would have been one thing. Iwas prepping for a binge. It is going away now though. Though I do need to invest in one of those pasta measurer thingies. I love pasta, but need to keep it to one serving - not 8.
I hope everyone is having a good weekend, and that I hear from you soon.
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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Morning everyone,
Had a bit of a scare yesterday. Mom is staying by my sister's for the weekend. Yesterday morning got a call from sister - Mom woke her up at 3am complaining of chest pain and wished to go to the hospital. Had been having the stabbing pains since 10:30pm. And of course we all put off things for HOURS hoping they will go away. They called an ambulance and sister rode with mom to the hospital. Her blood pressure was off the charts too. A couple of nitro glycerin tablets seemed to calm things down. We got to the hospital as they were giving her a bunch of tests. She looked pretty good when we saw her. All things turned out to be normal, thank goodness. They had no explanation, said it could have possibly been a reaction to the spicy Italian food they had eaten for dinner the night before (or the fact that mom who LOVES her sweets had eating 1/2 a lemon pie in the evening So we wound up spending the day at the hospital. My poor husband spent the day sitting in a chair in the waiting room while my sister and I were up in mom's room. Once we knew she was going to be ok, sister and I were goofing around in her room entertaining her. I grabbed a rubber glove, put it on my face and blew it up. We also took her bra and I was dancing with it on my head and knees. We were trying out all the lights and instruments in the room, including the oxygen valve. Yes, we are worse than most 2 year olds. But mom had a good laugh or two and we are all very grateful that she is doing ok. Secretly we all worry - her included that as she advances in age, things might happen and we surely don't want to think about that...
So yesterday was a wasted day of sorts which leaves today to get the house in order, plan the meals, get the groceries and do the laundry. Also need to pick up the Sunday paper and check out the help wanted ads. Sent a resume in Friday to a company I worked at 13 years ago. It's in downtown Chicago so that would mean 12 hour days and commuting on the train again. But I'd have a good walk to and from the train station of almost 3 miles a day not a bad thing unless it's pouring rain, blistering heat and humidty or the frozen winds and snow that give you the "ice cream" headaches - which covers about 6 months out of the year for Chicago weather
Anyway, much to do today, best get the body moving along. Have a good one all.
Happy: I'm glad your mom is okay. Wow, how very scary. I would have liked to see you and your sister dancing around like that. Next time get it on tape! I'll be keeping your in my prayers for the job hunt. I know the right thing will come along for you, it's just tough right now.
Jolly: Pasta is my struggle also. That and pizza. At least you are conscious about it and know what a good portion size is and that you are probably over it. Heck, we all have areas for improvement, huh? Does your house seem lonely, or are you doing okay since your dad left? I went to McD's yesterday and got a crispy Ceasar salad. Didn't have the dressing, but man, it was WONDERFUL! It was 7 points on my WW slider, but well worth it. You might want to try it when you get those urges you can't overcome. Plus, I got another pedometer!
Raven: Big me to open my mouth. It's rained the last two days here. Typical, huh? At least it wasn't raining during the day yesterday when I moved my friend. Yes, I am going to change my name to Perky Chachee when it's all done!
Hi Everyone!
Moving was very strenuous, but a very good workout. Four hours, yes 4, of lifting up and down stairs. I was sweating more than I have in a long time. As a result, gained some muscle and was a little heavier on the scales this morning. I also understand that I have had two very good weeks for a loss, so my body needs to adjust a little to it.
I have had a very bad sweet tooth these last couple of days. Attended a bbq last night after moving, and was very tempted by all the baked ziti and cake. I had just about one cup of the ziti and then resisted the cake and had another portion of the fruit salad. It was tough, though. Came home and made a soda cake, which always helps with the sweet tooth.
I weighed this morning, for my home challenge, and am down another 2 pounds from last Sunday. Total lost since hubby left is at 13.5. I wanted to lose 15, so that is really close. I have three more weeks to go and I think I can do it! PMS and TOM are right around the corner, though. Egads!
Good morning all. Happy, I am glad your mom is ok. What a scare. Good luck with the job hunt. Chachee, glad you had a good, sweaty move.
We have had rain, rain, and more rain. I weighed in this morning, and, due to some poor food choices over the weekend, stayed the same. Well, here's to a better week. I have to say, the energy at home is much better now. I did work out this weekend, and was not a couch potato. I was even going to do my yoga tape last night, but ended up in the basement for awhile due to the weather. How fun.
Jolly - Sorry to hear about all the rain.. I guess we got it earlier in the week, and our weekend was pretty nice, thank goodness. Staying the same is sometimes just as much a victory as losing in a week. It sounds like you had some adjustment to go through with having the house to yourself again! Also sounds to me like you're doing really well! Pasta is interesting. I thought for a long time that 2 oz. was cooked, but it's the dry weight you measure. Right? I love pasta. And bread... garlic bread. *drool* With wine. *faint* Ok, I better stop now.
Happy - Wow. Scary. Definitely appreciate her while she's here, mentally and physically. But you already know that. I'm very glad everything is alright. Ok, that commute would definitely have mine beat. Yeah, I drive an hour each way, but it's a nice country drive with pastures and horses and cows and no real traffic most of the time. And no walk after I get either place. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Chachee - Wow, you are doing fantastic!! I *HATE* moving. Shall I say that again? No, because if I do I'll scream it. I swear the next time we move, I'm hiring someone. No WAY am I going through hauling washers and dryers and couches and beds and recliners and SNAKE TANKS and every OTHER #$&@(#(*&#@@#$ thing up and down stairs. It took me months to recover. *whine* Well, see what you did? You started me on a rant. It's all your fault. Speaking of salads... I've fallen completely in love with that chili's caribbean salad. I think I could recreate the salad, but I can't figure out what kind of dressing it is. I guess a honey-mustard kind of thing? I use very little of it anyway, so it ends up being a great balanced dinner - fruit, veggies, and chicken for protein.
Ok, so .. I'm doing the "gee what the heck is there to eat around here till payday" dance again. So food is just not even something I can think about. The only thing that comes to mind is "can I afford it" not "is it healthy." I would have been ok if I hadn't had to replace my car battery, but .. that's the way things go. Payday is Thursday morning. I'll survive that long. This month is shaping up to be a pretty complete washout as far as losing weight goes. But I am feeling better, and that's a good start. I'm back on vitamins again, which always helps. I've gotten my house a little bit more clean, I've caught up on the laundry, and I've taken care of quite a few things that had been hanging around nagging at me for months.
I worked out at the stables yesterday from 9:30 or so in the morning till about 7 at night. And I mean I worked. Machine was out there with me and we both were sore and tired when we got home. Between feeding, cleaning stalls, scrubbing and filling water buckets and troughs, and grooming, training, and riding horses - yeah. I'm sore. But I loved it. And progress is being made with Eve and Arashi - Machine actually rode Eve for the first time, and did it bareback! Bless his heart, he was so thrilled. I stayed right at her head the whole time, because it was pretty apparent she'd not been ridden bareback before and that was a whole new thing for her. But she did great, and I think it will really help Machine with his motivation to learn to be light with his hands and to really want to learn how to train now that he's actually been ON his horse. It's hard to imagine how responsive a horse can be to all these little cues you don't even know you're giving them until you get on one trained like that. Poor Ian was trying to grasp with his upper leg and she kept going faster and faster, till I showed him that he wasn't dissasociating his lower leg and it was clamping too, and that's why she was speeding up. He wasn't even aware that he was doing it. Anyway.. horse talk. My legs are so sore from riding for so long yesterday on my own horse, and then my arms, back and even abs are achy too. I guess that's a good thing, eh!?
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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Raven,
There's a bunch of websites devoted to copy cat recipes of restaurant dishes. Here's one for Chili's Carribean Salad. It does look very good and definitely in the healthy range. I would just suggest that when they say to blend salad dressing in an electric mixer that you follow directions and do just that - a blender will work just as well. Shaking it in a bottle just won't get it mixed enough - especially if there's oil in the salad dressing.
I might even try this for dinner tonight. That is if it ever stops raining and I can get to the store - I seem to have misplaced my wader's I think Jolly's getting it worse than us but it seems to roll downhill from her place
Sounds like you all had a busy and strenous weekend. Chachee when the time comes, can you help me move too? I can't even fathom the idea which is probably why we've stayed put for as long as we have.
Rainy and wet up here, also, but I did get my walks in today, along with Gazelle for 30 minutes this morning. The rain plus my naturally curly hair = springy curly hair for me right now. Would hate for the fashion police to come in and cite me!
Raven: Why do you hate moving so much? Heehee. I do too, but do enjoy the strenuous exercise. Sorry to have started you on a rant...um....sorry...... Oh well, it's all good, isn't it? You don't think you did as well this month, huh? Hey, we all are going to have those down times. Hopefully the scale will be forgiving. Your car is running again, right? yay!
Happy: I'll come help if you buy my ticket to come help! Just be all packed up, and I'll lug the boxes where they need to go! Thanks for the link on the salad. Sounds very good.
Jolly: How did payroll go? Did you ever put your yoga tape in?
Well, salt was my friend yesterday, so I am trying to flush that all out! Hate how it makes me feel. Puffy and bloated.
The Swan finale is on tonight. Yes, I am addicted to that show. Guilty pleasure! Going to pick up my son, make a nice salad for dinner, put him to bed, then get in my pj's and veg out to the show. Oh, what a full schedule I have!
Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods
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Hey girls,
I just looked at Chili's website and noticed there's mandarin oranges in their Carribean Salad. Don't know why neither of the 2 recipes didn't have that in there, so if you're going to make this, don't forget the oranges. I think I'm going to try that tomorrow for dinner - IF the skies stay clear enough to grill for 10 minutes.
Chachee, what's a soda cake? Do tell please... Did you watch the Swan? I admit to having this morbid fascination with that show too. I'm glad Rachel won, in my opinion she changed but looked the most natural of her transformation. The 3rd place winner was cute too. I told my husband that they must have still been a bit puffy or something after their "reveal" because I thought they looked even better on the pageant than they did on their reveal. I'm torn about how I feel about the show, I don't like the fact that EVERYONE got a boob job, brow lift, davinci veneers, liposuction and fat injected into their upper lib (well actually lip but if you saw them after surgery you know they'd be calling it ah lib - oh manph my lib rewwwy huzzzth ) Eee gads, kinda insane how you look after surgery, isn't it? It didn't seem to say much for everyone is different that they all seemed to get the "standard" set of procedures. However I sure would like a set of those veneers myself. I was complaining about my teeth and the dental assistant said that when you see someone with straight, even perfect teeth, either they've had alot of expensive dental work or they have fabulous genes. Most of us don't. I think my fascination is that even without the surgery, you can have a radical transformation if you're willing to put the effort into it. Oh well, to dream...
Ooh Jolly, ummm pasta we don't talk about that around here I think I like pasta more than anything in the world, tho pizza and cheeseburgers are not far behind. Chicken and fruit and veggies are my friends, - pasta and the others are the things I drool over and have maybe once a month. Although I am learning to really like veggie pizza. Hope you got your yoga in. It's finally cleared up for 2 days so you should be able to get some outside time in before the deluge returns on Wednesday.
Raven, sounds like you're getting back up on the wagon again. Hope you can stretch out the pantry on some semi decent stuff until payday rolls around. I think I'm going to go fix up that salad dressing now and make my menu for tomorrow - planning ahead is the ONLY way I can seem to stay on track. Night, night...
Hi everyone.
Hope the weekend was great for everyone.
Happy I am glad that your mom is ok and I am glad that you were all able to relieve the tension by being able to have fun and make her laugh. Wish I could have been there to see it to And by the way on being smoke free for over a month.
Jolly way to go on the gym workout. I am glad that you are enjoying having your place to yourself. What made you come to the realization that you were preparing yourself for a binge? on being able to overcome the urge to give in to that.
Chachee what can I say. Way to go. You are doing so well. Does the thought of your hubby coming home in the next few weeks help give you a little extra motivation to lose the extra 2 pounds that you want to? Have you been able to talk to him on the phone a little bit?
Hippy do you have a pool in your yard? Are you getting excited that there is only a few more weeks of school left? When does school get out there? It is out June 27 here. The count down is definately on. Heres hoping you get some days and you send the rain this way ok.
Sassy hi to you. What day did you say that you are getting married? I hope that I did not miss sending you well wishes already.
Raven well you sure have been busy. Is Nick still riding Eve? How is Shadow doing. So have you been working out at Rosa's like that every weekend? If you have you might be surprised that you still lose a few pounds this month as that is hard work. :
Wrote out a long post last week crying on everyones shoulder then it got lost in cyber land somewhere.
So here goes a short version.
3 weeks ago the little guy came home from a babysitters with lice. I will pause now so everyone can scratch. He was at 2 babysitters so I had to try and figure out which one he got it from. The regular babysitter had an absolute fit. Called me an unfit mother and refused to babysit anymore. Frantically had to find a new babysitter. The second babysitter that he had been at for 2 days said that she would babysit now. Found out it had come from her house. Everyone was treated and cleaned and was taken care of within 24 hours. Still mad at being called a neglectful mother.
Kristi was out riding in her lessons and the horse hit a deep spot in the sand. Horse fell, Kristi fell, sprained and strained neck muscles, sand burn on face, tooth through lip. Bless her, her first words were "Is Des ok?" Horse and her are fine now, but we had a few long painful nights. Quit my job as the owner of the company came in and was an absolute jerk. But the manager and district manager wouldn't let me. They said they would keep him away from me. Now Kristi has her learners license so we have been driving. And Cody is in Lacrosse and there is no other teams to play here so we travel alot to go play other teams out of town. I need a vacation.
I am happy to say that during all of this, I have not gained anything. I am down 1 pound. I know this seems a little trivial compared to everyones big losses, but it is good that I have not been turning to food to ease my stress.
Hey all. Happy, I will be glad to send you more of our rain. I have plenty - thanks. haven't seen the sun in so long. I love pasta. I just need to get better about measuring portions. It is easy with like shell or macaroni. It is the spaghetti's that are a problem. "Eyeballing" it just doesn't cut it. I hear you on the menu too. I don't ALWAYS stick with it, but it really helps. Then I don't have to think about it when I get home late.
Chachee, I didn't get the yoga tape in. It is really hard to do it during the week. I get home late, and you are supposed to do it on an empty stomach. By the time I get home, I am starving. So, I try to do it on Sundays.
Lucky, welcome back. Congrats on the loss - especially when it sounds like things have been crazy. I can't believe your babysitter. I thought lice was just an occupational hazard of kids. Because if one gets it . . . I am glad your daughter and her horse were ok. I remember having a run in with a barbed wire fence, and not even realizing I "lost" until I was checking out my horse.
Raven, good luck until payday. I need to make more salads. I have a real good recipe for one with spinach . .. .ymmmm. And I still admire you for riding bareback. My horse thinks I am nuts enough.
Well, I had a mini meltdown yesterday. I think it was just a delayed reaction to dad leaving, but some stuff happened at work, and I over reacted, felt that nobody loved my, everybody hated me. I binged last night. Hardly slept. And woke up feeling stupid. Even though I knew I was making a poor choice, I just couldn't seem to stop myself. I just wanted to rush back to my familiar response to stress - eat. Things are better today. I tried a spin class for the first time. Sweated out my stress. so, here's to a better day.
It was so hot and humid. And I still had tons of laundry to catch up on at home, that i just didn'tgo. I will pay Saturday. But anyway. I refuse to let Dad's behavior affect mine. I am in charge of my destiny, and I will not play the victim in my life like he does.
Shadow is still lame, may need x-rays to see if it's an old bone spur acting up. Nick rode Eve! Both of them did amazingly well! We definitely found our dressage training horse!! Eve knows far more than we do, that's for dang sure. 
She was a little jumpy, a little nervous, but I think the last 3 weeks of groundworking the snot out of her made a HUGE difference. Still have a long ways to go, but wow. It's obvious she's going to be great for us. Machine did great on his lesson. He's impatient, and doesn't like working on the basics, but this is a great way for him to learn about learning. It's something he wants, and badly, so he'll do it.
Working out. Hm. Yeah. I need to do that, don't I. 
Chachee, good luck with the moving. And thank you SO much for your comments on my eating. I was still craving fast food, and there is a McDonald's right across the street. I had enough of "being good." I didn't care how nice it was to look in the mirror and start to see cheek bones, or have pants fit. NO matter how it affected the scale on Monday, I was going to go pig out. Double cheeseburger, McChicken, supersized fries, chocolate shake. I was having it all. Then I read your posts. On how good I am doing resisting. So I am now munching on the soup, veggies, yogurt and apple I packed.
They called an ambulance and sister rode with mom to the hospital. Her blood pressure was off the charts too. A couple of nitro glycerin tablets seemed to calm things down. We got to the hospital as they were giving her a bunch of tests. She looked pretty good when we saw her. All things turned out to be normal, thank goodness. They had no explanation, said it could have possibly been a reaction to the spicy Italian food they had eaten for dinner the night before (or the fact that mom who LOVES her sweets 
had eating 1/2 a lemon pie in the evening 
So we wound up spending the day at the hospital. My poor husband spent the day sitting in a chair in the waiting room while my sister and I were up in mom's room. Once we knew she was going to be ok, sister and I were goofing around in her room entertaining her. I grabbed a rubber glove, put it on my face and blew it up. We also took her bra and I was dancing with it on my head and knees. We were trying out all the lights and instruments in the room, including the oxygen valve. Yes, we are worse than most 2 year olds. But mom had a good laugh or two and we are all very grateful that she is doing ok. Secretly we all worry - her included that as she advances in age, things might happen and we surely don't want to think about that...
I *HATE* moving. Shall I say that again? No, because if I do I'll scream it. I swear the next time we move, I'm hiring someone. No WAY am I going through hauling washers and dryers and couches and beds and recliners and SNAKE TANKS and every OTHER #$&@(#(*&#@@#$ thing up and down stairs. It took me months to recover. *whine* 
Well, see what you did? You started me on a rant. It's all your fault. 
I think Jolly's getting it worse than us but it seems to roll downhill from her place 
I think I like pasta more than anything in the world, tho pizza and cheeseburgers are not far behind. Chicken and fruit and veggies are my friends, - pasta and the others are the things I drool over and have maybe once a month. Although I am learning to really like veggie pizza. Hope you got your yoga in. It's finally cleared up for 2 days so you should be able to get some outside time in before the deluge returns on Wednesday. 
on being smoke free for over a month.
You are doing so well. Does the thought of your hubby coming home in the next few weeks help give you a little extra motivation to lose the extra 2 pounds that you want to? Have you been able to talk to him on the phone a little bit?
days and you send the rain this way ok.
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