Good morning ladies, and Happy April Fools Day!! Time for everyone to report in with their successes (and failures ) for last month, and re-establish goals or create new goals for this month! Where do we stand?

I did pretty well. I weighed in this morning with my water retention still being a little bit of an issue, but not as much as yesterday. I'm at 177 now, which puts me at a 9 pound loss for the month. I missed my stealth goal by ONE pound, but that's ok, I know I was there, and I know I'd still be there if this weren't PMS week. I can live with that. My calories, water, and sleep were all really good overall. I had a few days here and there where I'd go under on calories and forget to drink water. I'll resolve that by getting myself a big cooler and filling it with bottled water and healthy food for the stables. As I mentioned last post, my exercise has been slacking off as my summer starts to get busier and busier. I'm going to have to recommit to that, and if I can support Hippy by pushing harder and making that promise, then so be it. My riding has definitely improved. But I didn't make the two point trotting goal. I blew my weight loss goal and my original stealth goal out of the water. THAT makes me feel good.

Ok .. Goals for April!!

Calories - 1200 - 1400 per day as they have been.
Water - 6 bottles or large glasses per day.
Sleep - In bed by 9:30, up by 4:30.
Cardio - 30 minutes on the treadmill Tue, Thu, Sat mornings. I need to hit the 2 mile in 25 minute goal still.
Pilates - Mon, Wed, Fri mornings.
Weights - Erk. This was an area in which I was STILL not consistent last month. I'm revising the goals a little bit. I'll give myself some flexibility, but I need to do squats/lunges at least twice a week in the evenings, and UB at least twice a week in the evenings. They don't take long, so I need to stop making excuses and just do it.
Riding - Continue aiming for 3 times a week. I will use Copper at least 1 day a week to get a substantial posting trot workout and work on my canter. My goal this month will be to do at least 4 laps around the arena in each direction at a posting trot and one complete lap in each direction at a two point canter. Additional goal - remains the same at being able to do a two point trot at least once in each direction around the arena.
Scale Victory - I want to drop 5 pounds by 04/30/04, putting me at 172.
Stealth Goal - Drop 10 pounds and hit 167 - That's the weight I was at when I moved to Georgia in November of '95. Huge goal. If I can do this I'll be one hella happy chickie, lemme tell you. Again, 160anything would be awesome.

Out of the blue, someone finally responded to my horsesitting website and I may have picked up a week long sitting job. It's right on my way to work, so it's cake, and she wants to pay me $34 a day to do it. Really, I offered to drop all trip fees because she was so easy to get to, but she said the other lady she called charged $17 per visit (two feedings per day) so she couldn't pay me any less. She has three beasties, all rescues. I go to meet her tonight, and I hope it works out!! Today is payday, that means too much to do, as usual. But it also means good groceries again! And Happy, you're absolutely right, sodium isn't as bad as calories and fat. If that's the worst thing I have to deal with, I'm doing ok. Girls, I think we're doing so well. Hippy - you gotta hang in there. Happy made me cry with that post of hers, and she has so many good points. Chachee - look at you go!! Sassy - I'm so glad you've joined us, and I can tell you're ready to hit this month hard and accomplish your goals. Let's make this a good month, ladies!!

Good Morning!!!

I'm crying again Not because I'm losing it but because you all are so sweet!!

I think this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am wondering how to give up these 2 cigarettes a day since they have now become my crutch. The first thing that I must do is rip these cigarettes up, throw them away and refuse to bring more into my house. This will be hard because right now they seem to be my sanity but I will remind myself how terruble they are for me and how I do not want cancer.

I did wake up this morning with a new way of thinking. I got Jordan off to school, had a few cups of coffee, I EXERCISED!!!!! and am drinking water all ready. I so appreciate you all making sacrifices for me, what a wonderful thought! I knew I couldn't possibly let you all give something up for me and be sneaky and not do anything to help myself. Therefore, I exercised! I can't let Raven hurt herself doing all of the exercise and Chach, are you sure you want to give up some of your favorites I promise to work hard to lose these pounds but it might take awhile!

Happy, you had some very good ideas. I'm going to write all of this stuff down and post it all over my house. Thank you so much for reminding me that I am not a loser. I do feel like that. I have tried to quite smoking so many times and can never succeed. Gary also threw them away and never picked them up again. He thinks I should be able to do the same but that has never worked for me. I don't know if you felt like this when you quite but to be honest I don't know what to do if I don't smoke. What do non smokers do??????? I try to stay busy, focus on how much better I feel, how much better i can breathe but I associate smoking with everything that I do so I always want to smoke. Talk on the phone, light a cigarette, fold laundry, light a cigarette. I guess I just don't know how to break that habit. I have been chewing gum and sucking on sf hard candy but my mouth gets so sore. I have tried the patches, the gum, I use them and still smoke Anyway, I am not giving up. I will do everything my power to kick this habit and I will do anything for you that I can.

Sassy, the Smoke Away that I took had most of those ingredients in it, all natural, and I have to say it helped me alot. Thanks for the info.

As for all of you as a group, I am so proud of all of you for your weightloss accomplishments for March!!!!! You are an excellent group of women and I am so glad that I have all of you to rely on.

Okay, I'm off to battle the battle of not smoking and not eating every 15 minutes. I will eat healthy, drink water, exercise and be smoke free!

Have a great day!!

OMG, it's April already????

Ok recap of the month. I am exactly at the same weight I was March 1. During the month I have gained and lost the same 2 pounds over and over and over. I am a testiment to the saying "if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always be where you always are"

Didn't stick with any of my goals. I've been slacking on the water - big time. Food - not really eating sin foods as much as I've been hungry and have been eating to satisfy rather than practicing portion control. Exercise - pffft - what's that? I've been thinking about it but for some reason stubbornly resisting it. I don't think I've gotten to sleep at a decent hour more than once this month. I daudle on the computer, playing games, surfing here and the Internet instead of doing what needs to get done around the house and for my own best interests physically. And I need to really buckle down with the school and studies.

In short, I have spent the month giving in to the stubborn part of myself that addresses the short term wants rather than the long term needs. And the results show it. It's a constant tug of war between you should and nope, doan wanna And in the end it just makes me feel like a lazy, schluff off loser. Maybe I'm just a mental case. Or maybe I'm just content to drift along in life.

The month of April will bring particularly tough challenges. I will be on vacation for 11 days mid month. At the same time I am going to force myself to quit smoking which a tiny bit of me definitely does NOT want to do. They raised cigarette taxes in our area by 82 cents a pack today as a deterent for people to give it up. That adds another $8+ a carton to the price which brings it to $45 a carton at the discount stores. $200 a month I'm burning up literally to poison myself each day. How can I justify that anymore? And on the 27th I will have to face the fact that like it or not, I will be 50 years old which just bums the heck out of me for reasons I can't explain, even to myself.

I have 2 goals for this month:
1) develop a new habit - self discipline in all aspects of my life
2) each day focus on and count my successes (no matter how small) rather than giving in to failures

My new mantra for this month is "You get out of it what you put into it..." I can be frumpy 50 or fabulous 50. It's all up to me.

Hello Ladies!

I am on a roll not having gained this week! Isn’t that funny how I was not going to weigh in because of fear of a gain, then my good friends here encouraged me to face the music and hit the problem head on. I believe it was Raven who said, “Why take a pass when the problem may have resolved itself by the time you have to weigh in”. Exactly right, my dear friend! I did my big happy dance off the scale and had a wonderful meeting. My first plateau since I joined in February, so I am okay with that! (Secretly Chachee hopes for a 5 pound loss this week…..)

My goals for this week are:

1. Exercise 5 times this week.
2. Leave 2 points over each day
3. No ice cream/desserts in support of Hippy. (Oh man, those darned Skinny Cows are calling my name now. Well, Moo right back at ya! I’m helping out my friend this week.

My goal for April is:

Be down 8 pounds by April 28th.
Make working out more of a lifestyle, rather than a choice.

Happy: Great post on last month. Some really good suggestions. I liked the one about the butts in the jar. Amazing what that will look like! I love the new mantra and it looks like April will be a tough challenge for you to get through. Remember to post here often and get the support you need! And so we can also send happy birthday wishes to you!

Hippy: Congrats on the exercising. You know, you will look back in a few months and say, “Man, why did I stress over those two cigs? That was nothing to get over!”. You are going to be so much healthier and happier once that habit is gone! Remember we are here for you and will be struggling with our own demons!!

Raven: My stealth girl! Or should I say Drill Sarge!! Great goals for you and you know what? I think you are going to more than succeed with your stealth goal this month. I am almost at my lowest since 1997. I only need 3 more pounds on my scales at home (8 on the WW scale) to see that goal. I am going to do the happy skinny dance. We can dance it together come April 30th!!!

Okay, off to work. I am working the last double/split shift tonight, then I am off Friday. I’ll check in at home this weekend. Let’s have a wonderful month and reach all our goals. We can do it and with each other, we are going to be the biggest group of winners that are losers!!

Chach

greets sweets! hope ya played at least 1 funny today....laughter is exercise to yanno ~cheeky grin~

i have been thinking long and hard on this "Show Your Support for Hippy" and well, considering i just jumped on this bandwagon of health. already doing my best to eat right and exercise daily that it makes no sense and would seem kind of hollow or shallow if i gave up a food ( cuz i already did ~laughing~) or tried to push myself harder on the exercise. i really dont want to hurt myself i have been so sedentary for years. that the only true thing i could do in support would be to......... CUT BACK ON MY SMOKING. <~~ i wrote that big so when i come here tomorrow morning it will be in my face......~laughing~ right now i smoke at least 2 packs a day. and like you Hippy ( or the old you) i smoke doing everything. the only thing i can think of that i dont smoke during is sex. right after You betcha, but not during. fire hazard or i havent figured out how to yet i dont know.. ~laughing~ did i really right that??!! so for those two crutch cigs you smoke, i wont smoke those 2. this may look menial but in actuallity it isnt, not for me. because it will make me concious of what, when, and how much i am smoking. and you gotta start somewhere right ~hopeful look~

for those of you who didnt make it thru my last diatribe, err stats and goals ~sheepish grin~ i repost it correctly here....for those of you who did....... a fast scroll would prolly be your best option right now ~laughing~

<< i have aquired MasterCook 7.0 AND DietPower to go along with my WW Palm! loving these software programs!! had my face in them for days. i could go on and on extolling their virtues and how wonderful they are for me. if any of these programs could be of use or service to you........ i am but a pm/e-mail away ~smiling her bestest and brightest~ thats what we are here for to back up and support one another, so please if there´s anything i can do to help you in your journey......... nutrition analasys, points......whatnots, anythings, joe-whose-so-phats....just ask!!

as its March 31 here are my stats for the month. we are suppose to do this right? ~sheepish grin~

i have walked that dog o´ mine 30 out of the 31 days, most times twice a day. ( alex and i have a schedule, i do mornings, he afternoons, and we evenings ~grinz~) starting out at 15 minutes wheezing walks going up to 45 with no problems!! yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh me!

March 1st i weighed in at 211 ( i cant believe how hard that was to write, i have never ever been so heavy. if i went over 175 i used to panic...... old tapes ...going back )

March 31st weighed in at 202.
this should be so exciting for me i know, 9 pounds gone. but its not. isnt that awful, i wont be getting excited until i am in the 180´s and still losing. getting back to the old me as far as figure and shape. right now i still see the roly poly wench, hating what i see. but on the brighter side....... there will come a day.......~wink~

goals for April.... last week i stair stepped twice (man were my legs sore doing that and walking). i adore house invaders and wont miss it. so i decided that while it was on i would step up ~sniggering at her pun~ and do some step work on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays...... to rest my sore legs, i will stationary row for my arms.

i will keep walking Bosko ( of course , spoiled pup cant get enough of these walks. he fetches his own leash when we say the word.....laughing) but here is my goal. our path is gorgeous, wooded, on a hill, where you can look down and see the Enns river back dropped Austrians call them hills, being from Michigan them thar hills look like Mini Mountains to me ~laughing~ anyhoo..... there are these stairs that twist and turn that i am terrfied of. not because there dangerous or anything, but beacause what goes down....~swallows hard~ yes.......... must go back up. alright which one of you can throw a bullet the hardest!! ~laughing~ shoot me now for even thinking about these stairs..........Motivation behind this endeavor, that pampered pooch and his needs. ya see i have met along this path 2 adorable lil old austrians who walk their dogs every morning as well. warm, friendly, just the sweetest peeps who speak english with me. bless their lil hearts. her dogs love Bosko and they get along famously. his little corgie on the other hand is older and does not like this young studley movin in on his territory.. Bosko likes him though, so hopefully they can come to a truce of sorts soon. back to why....... down the stairs, across the bridge, and to the left is a doggie play area where everyone congregates with their pooches letting them roam free and socialize, while we catch up on the latest happenings in the nieghborhood. doesnt that sound nice??!! nice enough to get me down those stairs come mid month?? hey happy, how bout i use the date you set to quit smoking. you put them down and i will go up......... (this all looks good on paper ladies. i am soooooo going to need you come the 16th)

food and program wise, keep setting up and doing what i am doing, cuz so far its working!! there are 5 fridays in April, and 5 saturdays in May, toss in tuesdays in April, and wednesdays in May for weigh in´s and come the first Saturday in June (my wedding day) how could i not be lighter then what i am now. it is so hard not to be number obsessive.>>

Addendum: minus 2 cigs a day. April has 30 days, thats 60 cigarettes, or 3 packs less this month............ not so little after all eh ~laughing~

have a good one ladies..........

sincerely,
sassy...who is showing her sweet side ~winks n grinz~

Raven, I am so thrilled for you that someone responded to your website with a horse sitting job. I hope it's the first of the longgggggg line of requests for your services. Well, may you have "enough". Enough to bring in a bit of cash to do some guilt free spending on your passions but not enough that it takes you away from your own riding and training. Wow, to hit the 160's by the end of the month - how awesome would THAT be? You can do it little engine friend And I'm sorry I gave you the sniffles this morning - thank you so much for caring that much

Hippy, when I started smoking again in 1998 after my short quit stint, I vowed not to smoke inside anymore. Actually I quit smoking upstairs in '96 when we redid our kitchen to all light walls and cabinets. For 2 years I smoked in the basement - in the laundry room of all places! Then I thought how dumb is that - I've just washed clothes and now they smell like smoke. I'm amazed poor hubby put up with me - but in 98 I did stop altogether inside. In the good weather I sit outside on the front porch and in the cold I smoke in the garage. I almost don't even know what it's like to smoke indoors anymore And that helped me break alot of my former habits associated to smoking. Of course it also meant I spent alot more time in the garage If you can give up the 2 you're having now full outright - go for it - that would be best. However if you need a bit of time to do some head games on yourself and prepare, that's ok too. Apparently you've tried this before so you know what will work for you best. I am in the psych up my head phase now. As a show of support for you, when I want a cig I put it off for 30 minutes. And then another 30 minutes. Tonight I got as far as an hour and a half waiting. The funny thing was, I was watching TV. Each time the commercial came on, I'd think to run out for a quick one but I'd look at the clock and say wait a little longer. About an hour into this game I found myself thinking - hmmm what can I munch on? I remembered you saying every 15 minutes you feel like eating something and "what do non smokers do?" It made me laugh so hard that I completely tossed out the idea of eating and did wait another 30 minutes before I finally had a smoke. So thank you for the helpful comment that is going to stick with me for quite a while when I need it most!

Sassy, I think you have a good plan outlined for yourself for this month. So you are getting married in June? Big wedding or just a small intimate affair? Do you speak enough German to make the wedding plans? That ought to be an adventure - silly woman has ordered pumpernickel for her wedding cake

Chachee, I really liked your comment that echoed what Raven said about making this a lifestyle CHOICE. I think if you put it as a choice, then there's not so much resistance to it when you're doing something you WANT to do instead of HAVE to do. Hope your shifts go fast and you can get some fun time and rest on Friday.

I had a not too bad day today. It's supposed to be warmer and sunny tomorrow so I'm making sure I work in a lunch time walk. And being very specific on my meals has really helped me stick to plan this week more than before so guess what I'll be doing Sunday night? but until then... Hooray for Friday!

Good Morning!!

Happy, I'm so glad I helped you out and gave you a good laugh I'm sitting here right now laughing because I honestly don't know what non smokers do! I asked my brother who has never touched a cigartee in his life and he said," We drink beer" That cracked me up!! I need to move closer to you! I couldn't afford to pay for a carton of smokes there!! They are around $20.00 a carton here for Marlboro lights. I am impressed that you put off having a smoke for so long and most of all for not eating! You will have a lovely vacation not smoking and you will be so busy that maybe you won't even notice that you aren't smoking!!

Sassy, those 2 cigarettes a day will add up!!! I smoked 2 packs a day also, cough..choke

Raven, horse sitting? What a great idea!!! Something you love to do and the extra money will be great!! Are you exercising hard? The ONLY reason that I am exercising is because I can't stand the thought of being lazy since you are helping me out!! It would be wonderful if you could exercise for me too BUT I have to do my share!!!!

Okay, yesterday I pumped myself full of water all day. My eating was better. I still ate some things that I shouldn't have but it wasn't an all day event. I felt better the whole day and I know it was because I exercised. Did I smoke? Who asked that question? Okay, I'll fess up... I did I'm trying girls! Today when I go to Wal Mart I'm going to look for some crafty things to do to help keep me busy. The weather is breaking so soon it will be time to plant flowers and the garden so this will help too. I can work in the garden be smoke free and have lots of fresh veggies to eat!

I have to go this weekend and gets Jordan's tux for the dance. I am making his boutenere, how do you spell that??????? and his girlfriends corsage. They are going to be so damn cute!!

Have a lovely Friday!!

Heeeyyyy ladies... I'm so tired. It's been such a week. My period started 4-5 days early, and I it always wears me out. Plus I just had so much to do all at once.

Hippy - Toss those cigarettes, dear!! Yes, I've been doing my workouts. I have to admit they have been less than enthusiastic, because I'm so tired, but I've done them!! My treadmill time yesterday was a little slow, but I kept my routine in place. Pilates this morning was more "going through the motions" and I have got to put more push into it. I think tomorrow I'll try for another run and maybe an UB workout. I need to be careful about that lower body, I'll do that on Tuesday night. If I do it Sunday I won't be able to stay on my horse Monday night! But hon, you're so right that when you start the day out with exercise, the energy level is higher. Will we get pics of the adorable couple?? What do non-smokers do? Log into 3FC!

Happy - Silly gurl, of course I care. I keep thinking it's so amazing that I've found such a wonderful group of ladies who will listen to me ramble and support me along the way. All I can do is try to return that favor. You're such a strong and determined lady, I admire that you're in school and working so hard. So .. are you gonna take a laptop along on your vacation so you can report in???

Sassy - A wedding! Aw, a blushing bride. How sweet! Yeah, what Happy said ... what kind of wedding? Are we invited??? I think your plan is very doable, and I've already offered to come boot you down those stairs...

Chachee - Good for you!! For being accountable AND for not showing a gain! Sometimes I think that learning all this new lifestyle stuff hinges a lot in facing our misconceptions and fears about food and eating. I know my ideas about calories and portions were all out of whack. I *thought* I knew what I was eating, but when I started logging into fitday, it amazed me how much I thought I knew was wrong. And all the stuff about the scale fluctuations, and how so MANY things can affect our weight on a day to day basis... and learning to not be afraid of that.

Thank you guys for being all happy about the horsesitting. I know some people would think I'm insane, but .. I'd give so much to just leave off with the darn 8-5 and design web pages and horse sit with my daughter. I'd give so much to have the freedom to go to an all summer training school to get certified to train horses, then add that to the mix, too. Who knows, Happy... maybe your hopes for me will turn into a reality, and this is just the beginning. Someone commented in my journal that the horses seem to bring out the best in me, and I have to admit... I think they're right. Between my horses, kids, and 3FC - this has been absolutely the most rewarding year emotionally and spiritually for me since long before my mom passed away. Financially can't be far off, right!?!?!

And HEY!!! I'm a Super WalMart freak, because it's so much cheaper than the regular grocery stores, you know? But I have to drive over 30 minutes to get to the nearest one, so it's been a real pain! BUT!!! I was driving home tonight and I noticed they've broken ground for one about 5 minutes from me!! WOO! Score!

Ok, off to check the meatloaf (made with lean hamburger, of course) and cook the broccoli... Hope everyone's Friday was GREAT, and the weekend is wonderful!

Evenin' y'all

Raven, I am so proud of you for sticking to your workout even though you were tired AND dealing with TOM. Guess it don't get done just thinking about it, does it? I read your post and dropped on the floor and did 50 crunches. Just cuz if you could do it then I had no excuse either. It does sound like you're getting one heckofa LB workout just riding - so if that will continue to strengthen things along with the treadmill work, go for it. Also, I am one of the world's biggest believers that you CAN live your dreams. One of the keys is that we talk ourselves out of getting to the steps of what we need - that's silly, we can't afford it, we'd look like a fool, what would people think? And you have to take a what dah heck attitude and sometimes walk into the scary unknown. Admittedly though, it is harder when you have kids to think about. No matter what changes or sacrifices you're willing to make for yourself, you can't always impose your needs on others. However, you definitely have one leg up on the game by being creative to meet your dreams. The horse sitting, the bartering Rosa for lessons - it's those kinds of think out of the box methods that help bring you a little closer each day. Just keep doing those kinds of things and someday you will be running a rescue shelter. And you better keep up on the losing weight and getting strong kick because you'll be working the rest of your buns off getting that shelter up and running Don't let your life pass you by... Just don't spend it all at the new Super Walmart! They are building a Mejier store just down the street from me. It's a massive store from the looks of it. Never been to one - saw them up in Michigan but they are just coming around here. I'm sure it will give the Walmart a little competion and that's good.

Hippy - that's pretty good to go from 2 packs a day to quitting. More than half the cost of the cigarettes here is "sin" taxes. Everytime they want money they up the taxes on cigs and booze. Pretty soon we will all quit and then where will they get their money? So what kind of flowers are you doing for Jordan and his girlfriend? (I can't spell boutinier either ) It's got to be somewhat bittersweet seeing them growing up.

Well I have set my quit smoking date firmly for April 16. I might have a few that morning, but once I get on the plane for vacation - that's it. I am calling my doctor tomorrow - I'm going to try Zyban this time around and if I can't deal with the urges, I'll add the patch too only because that will really keep me from smoking. I told my husband of my plans and said he'd have to be especially understanding for a while and not get mad at me and leave me on the side of the road on vacation if I got nasty. Through my husband's work I can sign up for an online smoking cessation program and I've plugged my date in and started reading up and getting myself psyched. If you can get past the "I wanna" Hippy I can too because I know you are so much like me that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I'm scared to be honest. Scared of my inner self sabotage. Scared of changing and more than anything scared of the inevitable weight gain. It's possible that I might gain everything I've lost so far and go beyond my highest weight ever and I don't know if I can handle that. The one positive is that as we hit the better weather, I will be more active. My husband wants to lose weight too and one thing we like to do is walk together. He just walks alot faster than I do and I get winded but I know that part will go away as my lungs clean out.

You all have faced your own personal challenges so that doesn't make me any different or special or deserving of excuses. I think one of my motivators for staying quit is going to be imagining telling my mom that I have cancer and seeing the look of profound sadness on her face. I lost my older brother 6 years ago to bone marrow cancer. I think it would put Mom in her grave if she lost 2 of her children before her and that would leave my sister all by herself. I just can't do that to them.

And no Raven, I am NOT taking my laptop with me. I am looking forward to 11 days without a computer believe it or not. I might be able to check in part way through the trip when we go to his aunt's house. I wonder if Las Vegas has internet cafes? Geez, I'm having a hard enough time figuring out how I'm going to pack and still get under the 50 pound suitcase limit!

This will be a busy weekend. I need to go through my clothes and figure out what to take and start to make my little packing lists so I don't forget anything. I also want to give the house a good cleaning. It's much nicer to walk back into a clean house from vacation than to see one that was torn apart in a last minute packing frenzy with stuff all over the place. I also have to buckle down on the homework - have a mid term test to study for on Tuesday and a web site to develop for my project. I have to also work ahead on the homework as I will miss almost 2 weeks of school - I'll never catch up if I put it off.

So I hope you all have a grand weekend. We go to daylight savings time on Saturday and lose an hour of time. How come they never institute that on a weekday in the middle of the work day? Why do we get cheated out of an hour of a precious weekend? Inquirig minds want to know but then again I truly appreciate that extra hour in the fall, even if it does mean it's getting darker sooner.

Hello ladies.

Ahh.....a day off today. It's because I worked my hours after that graveyard shift last night at the Jail. That's tough working 8a-4:30p, then to the jail 10:00 p-2:30 a. Wow, I'm glad it's over, but it sure is fun to go down and see how the "other half" live! One guy in a holding cell last night was fluent in dropping the "f" bomb and was sharing that with all of us. He was calling us "f"heads and that he wanted his "f"ing phone call. Yeah, once he realized we weren't going to drop everything and help him at the precise moment, he started to kick at the windows and door. They shackled him to the metal bed and we were done with that one! Too fun!

Guess what I did today???? I went SHOPPING. Yes, I know that I had said I didn't need to because all the smaller ones were fitting, but I realized I had pretty much mostly black clothes in that size. So, I went on a bargain shopping mission. I am happy to report that size 18 clothes are fitting and a little loose. When I first started this back in February I was in a 22. Something is working! I am addicted to Tommy Hilfiger clothes, and when I waltzed over to the clearance rack, low and behold all the Tommy "women" clothes were clearanced out, then it was an additional 70% off that. Oh my goodness, I almost wet myself at that point! I'm glad I used the bathroom before I started. I ended up getting two pairs of navy pants (one pinstriped), a cream colored zip up cardigan, a multi blue striped sweater, a navy and cream sweater, a cute plaid "schoolgirl" skirt and a red shirt. Ladies, I bought all that for $97.50!!! Oh my goodness, I was dancing all around that store. Walked a few extra laps around the mall also! Put my son in his stroller and we cooked around that mall. I was pretty much nonstop after those bargains. Modeled the clothes to my hubby tonight, which I haven't done since we met because I got so big, and he was so excited for me. He said they all looked nice and it was really showing how much I was losing. Aw, shucks! Gave him a peck on the cheek for that one!

My weekend now is going to be pulling out the other sweaters that are bagging out, donate them to the abused women's shelter and then bust out a bunch of scarves for my project.

Hippy: Take up knitting, crocheting or working with FIMO clay. Your hands are busy and can't eat or smoke while you are doing it and it's a very inexpensive craft. That's what I did when I wanted to occupy my hands so I didn't sit in front of the tv and eat. Now I sit in front of the tv and knit! It's really helped. You can't eat when you are working with the yarn because it messes it up. You don't want to smoke because then whatever you are making will smell like smoke and you might drop ashes on it! Seriously, check into it!! And I know Raven is plugging through those exercises, but don't forget about me and the lack of Skinny Cows!! Heehee. They are right there in my freezer waiting for your 5 pounds to go away! Actually, it's helping me stay my 2 points under.

Happy: April 16th, huh? Okay, that's the day we all are going to up the support to you to beat this addiction just like Hippy is doing. How wonderful you are both tackling this at the same time. Baby steps is the way to go and don't think you are a failure if you have a little slip up!! Sounds like you are going to be real busy. Oh, and no laptop?? I'm crushed!! Ha!

Raven: You know what was funny when I was reading your post? I remember you before the horses. I remember the struggles you had and how stressed out you were about a lot of things. These horses have brought such a calm and peace to your life it's incredible. I'm so happy these things are working out for you. Your refocus came about the time of the horsies. I'm so thrilled you are able to do that and get so much out of it! I know you were busy and run down this week. Just be good over the weekend and you will do fine! I have no doubt you will be to your stealth goal by the end of this month.

Sassy: A wedding in June, huh? Congrats! I love your sacrifice for Hippy. It doesn't seem like a lot, but those 2 cigs a day will add up in no time at all. Think of how much your lungs will love you for that! And the extra money in the pocketbook. You know we expect wedding pictures on here, right? Oh yeah!! You are going to be so much lighter by your wedding. I would guess you to be at least 20 pounds lighter, but more like 30!

Okay, I stepped on the scale this morning and I am two pounds from my lowest in over 7 years. If things hold out for this week, I should be down around 5. That would put me under my lowest that I remember in "recent" history. I'm hoping it happens, wait, I'M GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! When I step on that scale on Wednesday morning, it's going to say under 235! I just know it!

Okay, off to bed. Big hugs all around. You know we need to schedule a time we can all get together once we all reach our goals and go shopping! I figure it's going to take me a year, but we all need to get together! Whatcha' think?

Later, taters.

Chach

Good morning

Chach, I in no way forgot about your skinny cow sacrfice! I just didn't mention them because I didn't want to throw you into a I WANT A SKINNY COW SO BAD THAT CAN'T STAND IT FIT You might not have to wait much longer, I weighed this morning and 3 of those 5 pounds is gone. Maybe I was retaining water or something. Now we are just looking at 2 pounds until you can have a skinny cow!!!

I have tried knitting and crocheting but I can't understand the instructions If someone shows me how I can do it but I can't make heads or tails out of those directions DUH!!!

Raven, You are strong!!!! Exercising during TOM. I get PMS really bad and cramp and bloat and whine, so I sure don't want to exercise!! I have exercised this week and boy can I feel it. I keep telling myself if I keep it I won't have to go through the it hurts so bad phase again!!!

Happy, I think you are going to be quit successful on not smoking! Anything that you learn through your support group will be so helpful and I would appreciate any hints that you can keep passing on! That's a great thought about your mom. I have been telling myself the same thing about Jordan. I am so sorry to hear that you lost a brother. I can't imagine that pain.

Yesterday was very stressful. As you all know my brother is going through a divorce. His final cout date isn't until July. They had their first caout date in January. Anyway, this is killing him financially. He has to pay the van payment, half of the utilities, house and auto insurance, $100.00 a week child support. He doesn't mind the support but these other bills are keeping him from being able to save for his own place and so on. This is his weekend to have Alex but as usual when he got there she wasn't home with him. He came home, called his lawyer and found out that Monday morning his lawyer is going to file criminal charges against her for keeping his court ordered visitation from him. I know it sounds terrible but it serves her right, I hope she gets into some kind of trouble. She is hurting my brother and she is hurting Alex. They love eachother so much and even though she is hurting she doesn't have the right to interfer with Chris and Alex's relationship. I could see tears welling up in his eyes when he got home because he hasn't seen him but 1 time in 6 weeks. My heart broke for him and I just sat down and cried.

I did get a bit of good news yesterday. First off Gary is thinking about quitting his second job after vacation!!! I am so excited. I have forgotten what it's like to have him around! Second, it's long distance for me to call anyone in my family and friends that live away from here. It's long distance for Chris to call Alex and his lawywer so anyway my phone bills have been running anywhere from $130.00 to $180.00 I changed companies yesterday and got my local, long distance and internet for $80.00 a month! I can call anywhere in the US and don't have to pay long distance charges! I'm excited because I have friends in California and Illinois and I can call Mom and Grandma and so on!!!! That's still alot of money for a phone bill but I will be saving alot!

Jordan went with Gary today so so much for getting to get his clothes! We are on Spring Break So I guess we will go one day through the week. I would love to post some pics of my little guy for all of you to see but I don't know how I will ask him to show me!

It's a beautiful sunny day so I am going to go outside for a walk today. Flowers are blooming and the fresh air is wonderful. I might start working on the pool some. It's a little early but it's a job to get that thing ready.

I have talked your heads off so I better be going!

Hello to Sassy!

Have a good day!

Hey ladies! Just a quickie right now - trying so much to get organized. I have so much on my plate and I'm thinking I really need to get a handle on all of it before I start dropping the ball on things.

Food good, I figured out how to keep my water up on the weekends finally. I carry a 1 liter bottle with me wherever I go, and I just make sure I drink a minimum of two of those. How simple is that? I think I can handle it.

Weight back to 175.5 today.

Today going to Rosa's to try to fix her computer problems. Can we say operator error? *sigh* We rebuilt her machine with 2000, told her to under NO circumstances let her son (who is 23 or 24 btw) log in with her admin account and/or download crap music software (remember kazaa?) onto her machine, and guess what she did? Now she's trying to say it's 2000. Then she tries to install the OLD version of Quicken over the top of the NEW version because the old one was business, the new is personal, and it screwed up the software completely - oh, but that's 2000's fault, too. Ok, I will be nice about this. Up to a point. Oh wait there's more. She has an old Brother printer (don't get me started about Brother) and they still sell the stupid thing, but they don't offer any drivers past 98 or ME. So now she's ticked because her printer doesn't work with 2000 and wants ME back on her machine. Yeah. *cough* Till she tries to install new software or another piece of hardware. *twitch spazz* Hm. Sorry about the rant, I didn't mean to go off in THAT direction.

Then off to feed for the TGAAH customer (wow I have one!!!) and then home to make spaghetti and start designing my new website. I bought a domain, we're going to be www.songofthebird.net. (Once it's set up, that is.) That will give my daughter and I a place to practice our crap. I need to upgrade it to perl/cgi because I got the cheap cheap hosting, but I can do that in a month or so once I get some sort of layout set up. I'm really babbling here.

Right. I really need to go. Hope everyone is having a great Saturday, and I'll be back later to catch up with all the posts!

okies ladies just going to let my fingers fly thru this post and answer the questions or comments directed at me. feeling a lil selfish for it too, but i have no time right now. hopefully tomorrow morning ....forgive me

Alex´s grandmother´s (Oma) 80th b-day party is in 6 hours, after the party she will be coming to spend the next few days with us. its his Mom´s mom..oh the pressure ~laughing~ i spent yesterday cleaning the no-see-ums, saving the floors for the very last...... been seriously considering changing Bosko´s name to "That Molting Monster Mutt" ~laughing~ his hair is everywhere! and i just know after a brushing i have way more then enough stuffing to make 2 pillows! Spring has finally Sprung in austria my friends ~nodnodnodnod~

i am nervous about Oma coming, i dont know the language well enough to have an actual conversation with her. which is so disappointing for me cuz i would love to get to know her better and hear all about the family history yada yada. in case you guys havent gathered.i love to talk and the next few days will be like silence, struggling for words. there whew. got my wah wah whiney out ~pathetic pouty puss~ i do have solutions though ( remeber me basses covered girl..winks n grinz) Oma used to make those lovely intricate doilies as did my grandmother ( and when mine past i was given her yarn and needles, being the craftsey one in the fam) so along with my crochetting ( i am in the process of making another blanket as well) i have the doilie supplies in my yarn bag as well. Oma is also an avid gardener. i love gardening, so i am hoping she will help me with designing our garden. what kind of flowers (blümen) do best where..... they have alot that i am accoustoned to, plus so many more that are native here. also bought the fixings for a mini Herb garden. maybe she would like to help me plant that too. i dont know......~laughing~ she likes to walk so naturally i will invite her to go with bosko and i, plus in the opposite direction is an adorable lil mall complete with the ultimate bakery/ coffee house. so we will walk that way too, enjoy a cup of coffee and then return. and lastly but not leastly i will show her my lessons, from what i have heard about Oma she is really looking forward to this visit and helping me learn austrian. intersperse that with our love for cooking and well that ought to take care of the first day ~laughing~ any suggestions for next 2-3 ??


the wedding..... the REAL one, or the one we americans are used to with a clergy and the dress and the works will be the first Saturday in June, on the 5th. ~tick tick tick tick~ marrying is so different here. the Official marriage is the 23rd of this month. you have to married by the state before the church for it to be legal. so that will give me 2 anniversaries!! the state one consist of about 30 of your closest friends and family then a dinner afterwards. nice dress is required but not formal wear. ooooooo you ladies are going to love this!! i am getting married in an old castle!! (which has been turned into the government housing.) in a 17th century rectory! another of my passions is history. so much to say so little time.......... ~pant pant~ the church wedding ( 200 guests) will be held outside, in the garden next to where the reception will be. they have never had a request like that before so we had to get special permission and a permit to hold an outdoor wedding. if it rains, not even an option! it wont Jesus and i are good buds dontcha know ~winks n grinz~ so it will be a quick dash to get inside, but the flower girl 5 ( his neice ) and i have decided we look Fabulous wet, so it wont matter either way to us ~laughing~ the whole to-do will be bilingual in english and austrian and a cross of traditions. i have peeps coming from america and the UK. so YES your all invited, just tell me where to send the invites!! i am making our invitations and wedding favors, his Mom has decorations and flowers, a close friend of hers is doing the cake. Alex is taking care of food, booze and music. and right now whistling thru this my brain decides to fart..~laughing~ meaning i forget who is doing what.... i will tell you more of our plans when i slow down a bit. i will need to pick your brians as well so be preparred........~wigglin her brow playfully, angelic lil smile~

pictures, if you would like them you bet i will supply them. inserting a link like i did for a previous post.

Raven: i appreciate you booting me down But the real test of friendship would be.......ARE YOU TOSSING ME A ROPE TO CLIMB BACK UP??!! ~laughing~

okies i so got to go this has taken me an hour to write ( who would of thoght?? ) wishing you all nothing but the very best of successes this month!

sincerely,
sassy

Good morning ladies,

Sassy - hope you enjoy your visit with Oma. I think if you start cooking and gardening you can overcome the language barrier. And no doubt you will have some entertaining moments when you are both lost for words! Your wedding plans sound wonderful, interesting that you have to have a civil ceremony first before the church one. That's the first time I heard of that, though I am no expert on the ways of different lands. Sounds like you will be one very busy woman!

Speaking of busy - RAVEN - whoo, I'm tired just reading about all you have on your plate. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out trying to be all to everyone. And yes.. I sure don't envy you with Rosa's computer. Sonny boy is sure going to mess things up royal. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth the offer to help. Especially when you're dealing with people who just don't understand no matter how much you explain. Good luck.

Hippy, that is so awful about your brother. Should be against the law for divorcing people to use the kids as a means to hurt the other. Just give ex-SIL a good on the back of the head. On the other hand, that's great news about Gary. Hopefully you'll have some good summertime fun together.

Chachee, what a cool shopping spree and how cool to be nearing a new low weight goal. Makes you feel like this is doable, doesn't it?

I am mentally preparing myself to quit smoking. Have been taking deep breaths alot (smokers breathe deeper than non smokers and deep breaths simulate the inhaling habit of a cigarette). I'm trying to make a good effort to smoke less. And when I think of having one, I tell myself (to borrow from Miss Chris' excellent comment in her journal - pretend as if you are not a smoker anymore - just work through it and tell yourself you won't smoke). I will tell you one thing, as I smoke less I am thinking about food more. Last night I had some reduced fat potato chips and a Coke. As soon as I finished them, I regretted it. Told myself I can't swap out one bad habit for another. I'm going grocery shopping today and I'm going to make extra sure I have healthy nibblies or snacks and make sure that I list my food plan and stick to it this week. I've already got the water bottle out.

Lots to do today so I'd better get with it. Bad enough we lost an hour today for Daylight Savings time. I really miss that though I do enjoy the extra hour we get back in the fall. Have a good one ladies and don't run yourself ragged today.

Congrats to all who've sustained a weight loss

G'morning chickies!

Let's see if I can't catch up a little bit here.

Happy - You know.. it means a LOT to me that you say the things you do about my daughter and I trying to create this dream life of ours out of thin air. I mean.. Yes, it is a dream. A big, huge, amazing, incredible, maybe unattainable dream. But it means so much to her, and so much to me - I can't just pull the "we can't do this" on her. I know when I was her age I would have done nearly anything to be able to work to earn lessons, or earn board for a horse. But my folks were pretty typical and went the standard "we can't afford that, you don't know what you're getting into, you have no idea how much responsibility that is..." They never gave me a chance. And so, with my daughter on the one hand - I have to give her that chance. I just have to. And on the other hand, in giving her that chance, I'm giving myself the opportunity to be 14 again and live the dream. My son is younger, only just now turning 12, but he's already wanting to be a part of it too. All I know is I have to try. What is Mejier? Another WalMart like store? I read the part about how you'd imagine you were going to tell your mom you had cancer, and about your brother. That must have been so hard on all of you. I'm so sorry. Of course it made me tear up again. You do that to me a lot lately. Fear is really something, isn't it. It can stop us from doing things because of things we imagine might happen, or because we're scared of the unknown. Fear of losing weight has been very frustrating for me. My daughter and I ran head on into one of the fears we both face, bless her heart. See, she may be only 14, but she looks much older. She's around 5'7", and is already wearing a C-D cup. She's lost about 20 pounds now, and is starting to be very attractive. Not that she wasn't before.. but there's that invisibility factor. She and I are both starting to realize people are "seeing" us again. I wish I could help her through it, but I'm just as awkward with it. There were two guys working on a car (we're not talking kids here.. these were young men - 20s or so) a couple houses over, and they stopped working on it to stare at my daughter while she was waiting for her brother to get in the truck. One of them even waved, smiled, and asked her how she was doing. This is a completely new thing for her, and I watched her blush, turn away, and push her brother into the truck so she could climb in quickly and get away from the attention. That's when she talked to me about her invisibility disappearing, and how frightened she is of that. I just hope her fear won't stop her from continuing to be healthy and fit. Just like I hope your fears won't stop you from quitting smoking. You're right in that we all have our fears to face. I hope you know that we're all here to help you work through those fears if we can.

Sassy - I really hope your visit with Oma is going well! that language barrier can be so awkward! But she sounds like a lovely lady, and I'll bet that all the effort you're making towards bridging that barrier will be greatly appreciated, and I'm sure, reciprocated. I personally love the idea of the legal and religious ceremonies being seperate. I wish the U.S. would get their act together and do the same thing. Of course, I'm also of the opinion that anyone who wants to should be able to be legally bound in a partnership agreement, regardless of sex, religious beliefs, whatever. *shrug* Your wedding in the castle sounds like a fairy tale! So beautiful! Gives me goosebumps. I hope it's everything you dream it should be! And .. a ROPE!? Bah! Climb up those stairs, girlie! (But don't hurt yourself, ok?)

Hippy - I'm so sorry all this is happening to your brother. I could never understand why some people behave the way they do during a divorce. I told my ex when I told him I wanted the divorce that all I really wanted was for him to be happy, for me to be happy, and for those wonderful kids of ours to be happy - and that was never going to happen if we stayed married. I walked away and left him with just about everything. I didn't want STUFF or money, I wanted to live and smile and enjoy a relationship. And I didn't want my kids to grow up thinking that a relationship was all about fighting and passive aggression and lies and tears. Yes, it can be difficult, but it's a labor of love. And if it isn't, then why be in it? And you're right that she needs to stop getting in between her ex and his son. It's not right, it's not fair, and it will only, ultimately, end up with her son being very, very angry with her for it. That boy needs his father. She's being a selfish idiot. Great news about Gary! I hope that can work out for you! And saving money is ALWAYS a wonderful thing!

Chachee - Oh great.. now you're making me cry, too. You're right, of course. I think if Arashi and Shadow hadn't come into our lives right when they did, I would have had a nervous breakdown. Between the job thing and the dad thing and cars and weight and everything else - our horses have kept me sane. They ground me, they do give me focus. Horse peace. They've been my four-legged angels. So cool that you went shopping, and SO cool that you modeled for your husband!! I think that's awesome! Talk about an NSV! Maybe you'd better wear some depends the next time you find a sale, just in case. And the scale is being good to you too, what a month, eh!? I think it would be unbelievably fantastic to get together. Ok, one of us seriously needs to win a lottery about now. The one down here is up to 75 Mil... would that do? Ok, I'll plan on winning that one here in the next week or two.

Wow. What a weekend. Does cleaning a stable for 3 hours count as a workout? How about arm-wrestling my kids for another hour - it sure seemed like it anyway! Dang ... my son is left handed and can nearly beat me with that one. My daughter is getting STRONG and can nearly beat me, too! I'm gonna have to start upping those UB weights! Can't have the offspring beating up Mom yet! I rode Mt. Shadow on Saturday, and I have to say - now that my seat has gotten better, she doesn't seem quite as tall as she used to. And her little hi-jinks don't scare me anymore, either. I can ride them out and feel fine. But I can really see where my daughter's leg muscles are getting their workout. She's a horse you really have to hang on to when you're up there, and you have to tell her EVERYthing with your body. She's a very willing horse, but she's young and only partially trained. What a love, though. I worked Arashi on go forward cue using the John Lyon's method, and I have to say, I love the way it works. He's a pretty smart little guy, if a wee bit stubborn. I'm very excited about being able to train him myself, even if I kind of feel sorry for him being my first real green horse. I'm going to be learning along the way, but at least I found a great discussion board on the John Lyon's method to ask questions on... that plus the books should keep me from screwing up TOO badly! I hope.

Food has been pretty much on track, no screwups. Water was much better this weekend because of the 2-liter method. I confess that yesterday I didn't do any "workout" other than cleaning the barn because I was just too darned busy between the horsesitting, working for Rosa, working with my pony, getting her computer up and running, then the horsesitting again... and yeah, I lost an hour on top of that! Agh! Today I'm counting my riding lesson as my workout, because it sure as heck is one. Rosa will beat us into the dirt I know it. I just hope she doesn't remember she wanted us to start posting with no stirrups. Weight is still 175.5, which is fine. I'm still amazed I've made it this far, to tell you the truth. I'm really looking forward to my three day weekend... we're off Good Friday, not sure why. Richard is not off - so that means it's just me 'n the kidlets!! Horse day, here we come!! Hope it's good weather!

Happy Monday everyone! Hope the week started out on a good note for you all!