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Old 05-25-2004, 12:00 PM   #106  
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Hello Ladies!

Happy: I wish the short Cindy girl would have won. She seemed to have changed the most emotionally for the better, plus with that old witch's nose gone, she's a stunner! The girl that won was nice looking also. I'm with you on the veneers. Would love to have that done, also, but my boob job is first. I know what you mean about all the girls having mostly the same surgeries. Really telling about the culture we live in, huh? that cracked me up what you wrote about the lids! Did you see the one with the girl and all the pock marks? That laser surgery they did was amazing, but she looked like the Elephant man coming out of her surgery!

Lucky: Wow, lots going on in your life! Glad you are doing so well considering all that has happened. No loss is trivial! A loss is a loss is a loss. Anything in the negative direction is positive!! I am totally more focused with my hubby gone. That is why I did this mini challenge! It's really easy to stay focused when I am cooking for just my son and myself. Really easy to do, plus not as many dishes!!

Jolly: Don't beat yourself up, girl. We all have those stress times. My downfall is also emotional eating. Why can't I train my brain that when I get stressed I should get on the Gazelle, not into the fridge? You'll be okay, just don't kill yourself over it.

Okay, my soda cake. This is really really good and very easy. Take one cake mix, and type, one can of diet soda and combine in your mixer. Don't add egg or oil! Mix for about 30 seconds on medium speed. Then mix on medium-high for 2 minutes. Spray a 9x13 pan with Pam, heat oven to 350, or whatever degree your cake mix says. Put cake mixture into pan, cook for aproximately 30 minutes, or until the cake tester comes out clean. Let cool, then take one small tub of Lite Cool Whip, spread over the top, cut into 12 pieces, and enjoy! If you do WW points, it's only 3 points per slice. Very good portion size!

I have done the following: Lemon cake with Fresca, Vanilla cake with Diet Orange soda, chocolate cake with Diet Cherry soda. They are all good, and each has a very distinct taste. My favorite is the lemon with Fresca. Very refreshing!

Alright, I am recovering from my salt problem this weekend. Had a great night's sleep last night, and worked out 30 minutes on Gazelle this am. Hoping weigh in tomorrow will be an okay one.

Happy Tuesday!

Chach
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Old 05-25-2004, 02:21 PM   #107  
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*takes a deep breath* Well hi there, ladies! I think I'm actually back from the land of eat-whatever-I-want. Sort of.

Lots of stress related eating, lots of emotional stuff, blah blah. I made a big ol' journal entry about stress, comfort levels, all that happy stuff. That and coming back. Practice. Life change. Changing how I react to stress. It won't happen overnight, but it is happening.

So. Thursday. Payday, shopping day, getting the house stocked with good food because honestly I'm tired of eating crap. Junk has ceased to be a treat and is now just making me vaguely ill all the time. I don't WANT to be living like this. And in a way, that's a very good, very welcome feeling. I'm relieved to be feeling this way. I feel like I'm coming home. Last time this happened, I was off plan for ... oh .. 4 months? This time, a month at the most. I'm getting better. I know where I want to be, I know how to get there, and I'm ready to get going. Again.

Happy - Thanks for the tip, I'd completely forgotten about copycat sites. Obviously I'll be picking up the ingredients for that salad when I go shopping. I think I could eat that thing every night for a month and not get tired of it. How are YOU doing?

Lucky - Holy crap woman. *saying a quick prayer of thanks that Kristi and the horse are both ok* No stitches for the lip? Is she back to riding again? That sounds like one of those scary falls. A hazard of riding, no doubt about it. Give her a hug for me. Been there done that. Lice ew gross that's nasty yick!!! But yeah.. uhm. Kids get them sometimes and you deal. What crawled up your babysitters undies? Lice, maybe? Sorry, but that's stupid of her. Of course you haven't gained anything!! You don't have time to breathe let alone eat!! We're ok. Shadow is lame, and it's relatively serious, she has a bone spavin. I've got the vet coming out, hopefully it will be cortisone, bute, and supplements and all will be well. If not.. we'll figure out what to do next. Eve is turning out to be more than perfect for us. Arashi is .. Arashi. Sweet, slightly stubborn, but my best friend. If I may anthropomorphize briefly.. sometimes I think he does stuff for me with that "ok.. now, you know I'm only doing this because I really like you.. I don't HAVE to do this. You do know that, right?" kind of attitude. So of course I'm ever so grateful to him when he does something wonderful, like.. oh. TROTS. I think he and I are far too much alike. Ok ... so you quit but they wouldn't let you. *lol* Did that come with a raise? A 1 pound loss is a loss. Just like Chach said. Don't trivialize it, because I'm not going to. ****, I've GAINED. Happy now? Don't stay gone so long, I miss hearing from you!

Chach - You are just amazing. Do WW points translate loosely into calories somehow? I'm just curious how that would work in my plan. I'm definitely going to have to try that, though... doesn't it turn out kind of dry?

Jolly - I already wrote an e-mail about all the stuff I had to say about your post. I hope today is going well for you. Stress sucks.

Alright. Peace seems to be creeping back into my little soul for whatever reason, and I seem to be finding my path again. Tonight the stables with V - going to go and work Shadow lightly from the ground, and I'll work with Arashi more. Tomorrow is stay at home and try to scrounge up something for dinner... peanut butter and jelly? Egg salad sandwiches? Tuna sandwiches? Water? Then Thursday shopping, V's riding lesson on Eve, and eating right! Woo! I don't even really want to see what I've done to my weight this month. *sigh* I'll weigh in on the 31st when I start next month's thread, and just deal with it and move forward.

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Old 05-26-2004, 01:28 AM   #108  
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miss you all........ popped in today to catch up, feel terrible that i wasnt here for some of you when you really needed. i am sorry.......

~blows a tender heartfelt kiss~

congrats on all hurdles met!!

i will try and get back as soon as i can........ first wedding is this friday, second a week later, the closer we get the more things go crazy. survived my 40th b-day, bought a gass grill...... still in onederland...... i know this is short but hopefully sweet ~grinz n winks~ have to get to munich to pick up my best friend and a very dear one.

sincerely,

sassy
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Old 05-26-2004, 01:41 AM   #109  
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Raven, I am so glad you mentioned that chicken salad. We had it for dinner tonight. Yummmmm. It's not something that I ordinarily would have ordered off the menu and wasn't sure I'd like it at first but it's fantastic. The only thing is if you make it from that recipe, I'd reduce the amount of sesame oil from 1 tbl to 1 tsp or a few drops at best. The oil was a bit too overpowering I thought and I mixed in a bit more honey and lime juice to tone it down. I made the salad dressing last night before I went to sleep and and tossed the chicken tenders in a baggie this morning to sit in the refrigerator with the teriaki marinade. Put the rest of the salad together as I was cooking the tenders so all was ready in about 15 minutes of preparation and cooking time. Not bad at all. This is definitely going on my summer salad dinner list. Thanks!!! Hope you enjoy it too when payday rolls around and you can go shopping again.

They just opened a new Meijers store down the road from me today. It's one of those discount super Walmart types with the grocery store and discount store combined. I talked hubby into going there today - was the grand opening. Must have been 3,000 cars there. Far worse than the shopping mall at Christmas. Oh wadda store The prices are a bit cheaper than the local grocery store and they will definitely give Walmart across the street some much needed competion. I think I'll have to do my shopping at 11pm to avoid the crowds - people in cars were actually following people with carts to get parking spots. Amazing... not like we don't have a gazillion stores around here already. But then again, ask me why I just had to go there TODAY myself I'm just a sucker for food and grocery stores...

My butt cheek still hurts with the sciatica. Rotten sciatica. I keep stretching and moving and taking Motrin but it makes sitting very difficult. I have to go to the office tomorrow and I'm not sure about driving. Have to drive along this forest preserve also with a river that is overflowing it's banks. The closed the road due to flooding a bit down the way but I'm sure I'll get stuck in traffic if the road's still closed. Because of the forest area there's only 2 main roads to get there and if one's closed, the other gets jammed. And I have to get gas to so there goes probably $40 for that. Geezzzzz.

Chachee, thanks for the soda cake recipe. That sounds really good. Add some fresh fruit and it's a great, light summer dessert too I bet. I also have a pan I bought a while back that you can use to bake a cake in - the cherry coca cola cake I think - so I can try that cake on my stove top without heating the oven. Cindy - yes that was the girl's name from the Swan. She was pretty hot looking. And that Gazelle seems to be working out very well for you. Keep up the good work!

Raven, I'm sorry to hear about Shadow. Hopefully something more can be done. I hope you can get your focus back again - but I understand how it's easy to feel overwelmed with all the demands, not even considering all the stuff we heap on ourselves. Priorities, ok and you can't be everything to everyone.

Lucky, I can't even imagine WHY that first babysitter would say such an awful thing. Irresponsible would be to not say anything and let everyone get infected. People, cheesssshhhh Don't let it get to you. What a few weeks you have had congrats for not stressing it out in the kitchen.

Jolly hurry for you for doing a spin class. I've heard those are awesome for weightloss. Afraid to try them myself. Was embarrased that I wouldn't be able to do more then 4 minutes without bursting into tears. No more stress eating this week, ok? It is sooooooo easy to slip back into that habit. I know, I feel the same about running back to the cigarettes - temporary fix and less calories than stress eating. But we both have to be strong. Just remember that it only made you feel yukky all night long - losing sleep is not the losing we're looking for here. Remember, you have set some great goals for yourself - keep the forward momentum because you can do it!

Speaking of sleep I'd better get my keester in bed too.

Happy belated birthday Sassy - good luck and congrats on wedding number 1 (already????) - may you have a beautiful day and the start of a long and happy life together.

How are you doing Red - back on track again yourself?
Night all...
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Old 05-26-2004, 07:22 AM   #110  
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Hello all. Sorry I haven't been writing. I have been giving the messages a quick read but have just had no time to reply. Like sweetnsassy I also apologize for not having been there for some of you in some very difficult times. You all are such a fantastic bunch of warm and caring ladies, I really am inspired. Just reading your support of each other practically brings tears to my eyes. Believe me when I say that I am with you in spirit if not in print. Very sorry but it's something I will try to rectify when things get a little less hellish here.

sweetnsassy, munich?! I used to live there. Many memories. What are you doing in Austria? Are you from the States or are you Austrian. I have a soft spot for Bavaria and Austria.

Happy, your kind inquiry is what prompted me to write this quick note. No, I'm not back on track but, like Raven, I realize what I am doing (the same, stress eating) and I'm not liking it and I think that is definitely progress.

Raven, I wish your lame horse the best. Isn't it strange how we seem to pick horses that seem to be very much like us. In seeing them I think it helps us better see ourselves and through wanting to do better by them we, in turn, do better by ourselves.

Well, I'm very sorry. I really must go but I will be back soon. I wish you all the best.
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Old 05-26-2004, 09:09 AM   #111  
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Good morning all. Sassy, Red - glad to hear from you. I hope to hear more when you can.

Get out your boots. I need a few kicks in the rear. My eating is not totally off, but I am just not thinking things through the way I should. And I don't want to back slide. Forward. That is the only direction to go. so, a few kicks would be appreciated. Thanks.

Have a good day all.
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Old 05-27-2004, 01:16 AM   #112  
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Hello Ladies!

Weigh in went well, again, tonight. I think I'm on a roll, or getting rid of one around my tummy! Down 2.2 to 227.2. Total loss since joining WW Feb 18th is 27.8. Slow but sure!

Raven: I am not sure how many calories are in it, as I don't have the box, but it does loosely translate. Just pick up any cake mix, figure the calories based on the mix, not "as prepared" and then add zero for your soda. It's really moist, actually, more so than any other cake I've ever had. Tastes like a brownie! Hope your survival on pantry food has been okay. Tomorrow is Thursday and you can shop your little heart out! Buy healthy!

Red: Glad to see you! We've been missing you. We all get busy and understand when we don't hear from you. We just miss ya! Hope things calm down and you can rejoin us soon.

Sassy: My girl! I'm sending late bday wishes, hanging my head for forgetting! And EARLY WEDDING WELL WISHES! I know it's going to be beautiful in that castle. We DEMAND pictures once you recover!

Happy: That store sounds cool. My sciatica is KILLING me lately! Mine is on my right side. Nothing is really helping it, other than Tylenol PM, and that knocks me out. I can't take it during the day, although some people might like me better that way!

My cousin had her baby today. A little girl named Nichole Marie, 7 lb, 9 oz, 20 inches long. I went shopping tonight. I should have shopped earlier, as I knew what it was going to be. I'm good at that sort of thing. You guys ever get preggers, let me know and I'll tell you what you will have. That's why I argued with my doc when he said the three ultrasounds said I was having a girl. I just knew he was wrong. Good thing I kept the tags on the clothes I bought, huh? I'm 5/5 of the last babies I guessed on, and about 14/15 all in all! I should go to Vegas!!!

I may not have a chance to post tomorrow, as I am testifying in a Murder case. Just a perk of the job! I get to deal with the most wonderful clientle!

Have a great day!

Chach
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Old 05-27-2004, 09:41 AM   #113  
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Ok, I figured out how to break a sweat and not leave my chair. I just look up Vin Diesel pictures online. Yeah, I know, not everyone goes for that look, but holy crap he's .. hot. Yep. I was looking for *ahem* inspiration. Oh, I'm inspired alright!! Woo!

ANYway...

Sassy - Happy Birthday!!! I hope you had a wonderful one! And Congrats on the wedding(s), and I understand busy and crazy. Just don't forget about us!! We want pictures!!

Red - Crap happens, yaknow? I'm just glad to see you're still with us. Check in when you can, I know life can get really lifey. I hope everything is ok.

Jolly - I told you this in my e-mail, but .. darlin' just go peruse Vin pics... you'll be dying to go work out. Or something. But it sure will get you going!!


Happy - Thanks for being my guinea pig! I usually love citrus in my food, so that was a natural pick for me. I was very pleasantly surprised with it myself, and now am slightly addicted to it. I'll make sure I follow your suggestions!


Chachee - Ok girl, you're putting me to shame here. I don't even want to talk about weigh ins right now. I have a lot of work to do, lets just leave it at that, eh? A murder case. How lovely. *sigh*

Chach and Happy - I occasionally hit another thread here too, and on it there was posted a good stretch for sciatica. I'll see if I can't find it and post it. It did help mine a bit, so who knows, It might help yours, too.

I feel GOOD today. Ready to hit this hard, ready to run down my insecurities and fears like a speeding 18-wheeler. Time to get myself back OP, get the weight back under control, and start thinking about my goals for next month. This one is pretty much toast except for damage control. But I'm back. I think my goal over the next however many months will be to get solidly into the 150s. I hear them calling my name. And that will put me just a hop skip and jump from my goal of 135. Time to start hitting the weights, I wanna feel macho again. Time to start running - get some new music and get my blood pumping. Time to work on pilates and get those core muscles tightened up and find my waistline again. I've come so far and I know I can go the rest of the way.

For your viewing pleasure, if the scenery interests you...
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File Type: jpg vin3.jpg (13.0 KB, 18 views)
File Type: jpg vin4.jpg (11.5 KB, 22 views)

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Old 05-27-2004, 10:55 AM   #114  
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Raven, oh my. LOVE those pictures. You have to appreciate what steroids can do for a body. . . . Actually, the wroking out has not been the problem. It has been thoughtless eating. I need to get back on track with healthy portions and choices. My mood has been down, and I just haven't cared what I put in my mouth. The other down thing is that now both of my ankles are acting up. I think I will have to wait a bit to try the jogging. This isn't a good thing.

Chachee, congrats on the loss! Way to go.

Everyone, hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day.
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Old 05-27-2004, 11:54 AM   #115  
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Raven: Um, YUMMY! He is so fine!! You know what does it for me? That voice. Holy crap! Better than Barry White anyday. Thanks for making me drool all over my computer. Dang, now I need to get a paper towel. Hope boss wasn't looking.

Jolly: Please explain to me exactly what a spinning class is. I think it's a biking class, but don't know for sure.

Hello everyone else!

Chach
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Old 05-27-2004, 11:13 PM   #116  
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Hidey hey ladies!!

Well my first day back OP was ok. Sort of. My schedule was weird today, and I had nothing to take to work to eat for lunch, and I didn't want to go buy something because I was leaving early, then when I left I had all these things to do and .. yeah. I ended up eating a bowl of cereal in the morning until about 10 tonight. And because I didn't end up having time to do the "real" shopping at Walmart, I ended up picking up neccessities at Publix. That will do until tomorrow night, then I can go to the Walmart by work before I go home. But I did pick up a healthy choice thing for lunch tomorrow, fat free yogurt, fruit, all the things I need to survive a day on plan. And tonight was Chili's Caribbean Salad. The real thing, because I had Richard call it in from home and I picked it up on my way from the stables. Oh, and I discovered these wonderful Tropicana Orange Creamsicles with only 80 calories. YUM! So I was very easily within my calorie limit for the day. Now... water was another matter entirely. I need to really focus on getting more of that back in the mix. And I did a small ride on my pony, nothing major, mostly just working him on the beginning steps of training. But Nick had a very educational lesson on Eve. That was the first time I've ever seen her look completly overwhelmed with information, but it was great. So much to learn, so many things to practice!! And Eve, for the most part, was wonderful. She's so young that yeah, she's going to act goofy sometimes, but she is such a sweetheart.

Jolly - I'm sorry to hear about your ankles. Could it be the shoes? I know I had to take it really easy because I ended up with shin splints. It was hard to back off, I wanted to keep pushing. But I was a good girl and toned it way down for about three weeks till the spints departed, and then things were fine again. I've been the queen of thoughtless, stress and emotion driven eating for about the last 5 weeks. I can really sympathize there. At some point, maybe already, you're going to want to stop that. You'll know when it happens.

Chachee - Yes.. his voice. The whole damn package.
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Old 05-28-2004, 12:50 AM   #117  
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Hey folks,

Three day weekend always a good thing. Now do I spend it cleaning house, dejunking the basement, getting in a little extra training time or just goofing off. GOOFING OFF YOU SAY? - well maybe just one day. After all, it is a holiday and the start of summer

Would appreciate that stretch if you find it Raven. This back is the pits. It's getting better slowly but I can't sit in a chair for long periods at a time, at least every 2 hours I have to get up for 15 minutes and walk around. I've been icing it too and trying to regularly take the anti-inflammatories. I am torn between working through the pain and teetering on the edge of doing serious harm and winding up flat on my back - which has happened when I got stupid and pushed too much. I am frustrated too because I have gained almost 10 pounds since I quit smoking and I am feeling quite the right now. It's cooler outside so I'm really hungry. Have been trying to make decent food choices, but have been eating more than a reasonable portion. I think the biggest problem is that I have fallen away from my routines once vacation set in. Time to hog tie me and boot some sense into me - just watch the back

Raven, I've had those Tropicana bars you speak of. Yummm. I am having a love affair with Edy's Grand Light 50/50 Bar Creamsicle ice cream. 2.5 grams of fat / 100 calories for a 1/2 cup. It's really delicious. And no, who eats a half cup - but even a full cup for a serving if I've been otherwise good isn't too bad. I did compare it to hubby's Ben and Jerry's and I feel positively virtuous. I do hope you can get settled down and back on program again and stomp out that junk in your past deep underneath the hoofs of your horsie pals as you go riding in the wind. You were doing really well and we need our inspiration back - don't make Chachee shoulder everything herself

Sorry to hear about the ankles Jolly. Some day you'll get to do that Halloween run yet. Can you power walk or something that's a little more gentle on the joints but would still build endurance and stamina for you? You were doing kickboxing, weren't you? Dumb question but is there something you can use to support the ankles?

Sassy, congrats on wedding number one - hope everything goes smoothly and it's a day made for dreams and happiness for you!

Chachee - congrats on the new baby in the family - is that a second cousin? Those things make me nuts. If I get preggers you all better clean up your act because it will be the second coming no chance of THAT happening. TG!!! Gee you hubby will be back soon, won't he? It seemed like it was going to be such a long time and then, time passes quickly, doesn't it?

Red, glad to hear from you. I know things get busy, just hope you aren't beating yourself up over whatever you are eating. My knees are kind of scraped from dragging along the bottom of the wagon but once I get some firm footing soon, I'd be glad to lend you a hand.

Sending a hello to Lucky. Enjoy the long weekend for those of us getting one. Have a picnic to kick off summer but make it reasonable! Myself I wish I could go camping this weekend - it's our kind of weather for it but I'm sure the campgrounds will be nutso buttzo this weekend. Maybe next weekend.

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Old 05-28-2004, 09:53 AM   #118  
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Aaaannnnnnnd she's off! Yep, I did the treadmill today.

Happy - Speaking of feeling positively virtuous, I feel that right now. Day two of being back OP. Seems so trivial, but I know if I can make it through one day, I'm on my way.

Happy and Chachee - As I promised. Originally posted by little grasshopper... I hope she doesn't mind me sharing.

Quote:
RT here is a good stretch. You're looking for the one titled piriformis stretch. There are a couple of changes or notes I would add to it though.

1. hold the stretch for 30-40 seconds. You want to lull the muscle into relaxing my giving it a nice soothing stretch - not bully it into submission..that doesn't work nearly as nicely! Repeat it 2-3 times on each side -whether or not you have pain. This will prevent it while you're riding as well.

2. make SURE you lock your pelvis into a nuetral position. It's very easy to let your hips round up and make the stretch easier to do - BUT this keeps you from isolating the piriformis. It's much better to lock the pelvis in place and hold the smaller stretch!

Another thing I have tried is to get a tennis ball - lie on the floor and put the ball under your glutes. Mover around over it until you find what feels like the most tender spot. You want to hold it here. Just relax and let the tennis ball sit in place for a couple of minutes. (do it while watching TV or reading ) Once things start relaxing you can move it around a bit. It gives you a good massage. If you are too tender to try this lieing on something hard you can always try lieing in your bed but it's a much lighter pressure! Keep a ball in the freezer for times when you're really in pain!! You can get an ice/pressure point massage at the same time!

I hope these help! Good luck and stick with it. This is one of the most common tight muscles I treat so you're in a huge crowd of company
Some very good URLs on this particular issue...

http://www.rice.edu/~jenky/sports/piri.html
http://www.jaxmed.com/massage/pirformis_stretches.htm
http://www.halhigdon.com/15Ktraining/Stretch.htm

I have found that since I've been including this stuff in my routine, my sciatica has almost disappeared completely. Now... that's just me. Be careful, because I don't want anyone to get hurt!!

Here's to a three day weekend!!! Woo! And because I'm feeling slightly and very pleasantly obsessed lately with our sexy boy Vin... another couple pics to take your mind off your worries and pains for a minute.
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File Type: jpg VinWater.jpg (11.6 KB, 12 views)
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Old 05-28-2004, 04:39 PM   #119  
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Hello Ladies!

Happy Friday to everyone!! Nice long weekend for most of us. I'm going home tonight and getting all my cleaning done so I have three days to play!

Raven: Okay, welcome back to being OP. You are going to set up the new thread on Tuesday, right? Good. Thanks for the info on the stretching. That sounds like it might really help. The links, too! Alright, now you are just being mean!!!!!! Putting those pictures up and letting a woman who has been minus a husband for six weeks is just plain cruel! What kind of a sick individual are you?? Alright, must maintain composure...must not look at pictures...must refrain from slobbering...must........damn! Um, thanks for the pictures...

Happy: Heck, I don't mind shouldering the responsibility. Gives me nice looking shoulders! Nice and pumped up! Heehee. Hubby due back two weeks from today. (Not that I am counting the time.) Nice to have some alone time, and that lasted for about a week. So much has been going on, just doesn't seem like I got ahead on anything. Puppies, son, house, meetings, etc. I will be glad to have him home to give me some help. I am honestly feeling exhausted right now.

That exhaustion has led to some not so healthy choices on the food, but nothing I can't recover from! No bingeing or anything like that, just not as smart as I had been. But hey, if I am going to do it, Thursday was the day to do it as I have 6 days to get it all off!

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! I'll try to check in, but not promising much. Don't want you all to see me in my pajamas, no makeup and hair in a ponytail, as I believe that will be my dress for most of the weekend. Do you think they would mind if I showed up to the wedding like that? Geez, people can be so picky sometimes!!

Chach
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Old 05-28-2004, 06:34 PM   #120  
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Thumbs up Holding steady before the storm

Hello people,

I'm here, occasionally getting a chance to read over the posts, hearing you all on your ups and downs and, as usual, with you in spirit.

Nothing bad is happening here, just so bogged down with work and they keep heaping it on. I should be happy but I'm closer to tears than shouts of joy. I just breathe steady and carry on, calm under enormous pressure. Raven, this is where what you learn from dressage riding comes in, taking yourself out of the emotion, staying collected, staying calm and finding a way to do what you've got to do, not allow yourself to cave in to what seems to be an impossible situation. Above all, calm under pressure and stayed focused and tuned in to the work at hand (in hand, under body! )

Alas, I DID cave in somewhat and as always it's in the area of eating and working out. Well, really, there is simply no time to work out much as I want to. The problem is I complicate things by overeating instead of cutting back and that coupled with the drop in exercise means a rise on the scale and happy, yes, I, ever the perfectionist, do beat myself up somewhat. Well, I just feel disgusted, absolutely disgusted with myself for not getting it all together.

By they way, happy, keep off the cigs. You're doing great. Weight gain is natural and a given in the beginning. When I quit I gained as well. It's the body healing. It's not you. Even if you ate exactly the same as you did when you were smoking you would gain because the body is getting healthier. This is where you have to say, health over weight, which is what we should always be saying. Just read a report in from the U.S. surgeon general yesterday and he was saying the findings on smoking are worse than ever, that smoking "significantly harms every major organ of the body." He said, "we always knew smoking was harmful but now we know it's even worse." So, stay the heck away from the stuff.

So, today's a new day and I have one last breather before a week of absolute ****. Deadlines galore and a major interview (with an ambassador). Here's where the Leoine confidence will be but a front as I quake inside. But the nerves actually help at times, but God, is it exhausting! THESE are the times I binge as a means of calming myself and I am determined not to this week. I can blow the stories and the deadlines but I'll be darned if I'm goin' blow the eating this time. It's time to do something for ME.

You know, jolly, you were saying you needed a kick in the butt. Well, the other day I was talking to some people and they were asking how I quit smoking and I said, it finally just got to me, it bothered my pride in such a way that I could no longer pick up a cigarette without feeling such a self-loathing that I just said, ENOUGH!! I was sitting there saying this, that I had a lot of pride, and I got to thinking, OK, kiddo, where the h@ll is your pride when it comes to stuffing your face and downing tons of beer? Huh?! Where has that pride of yours gone?

Well, OK, maybe, self-loathing is not the right word. It's not that I hate myself, it's that I'm saying, you can do SO much better, cut out the crap!! Jolly, maybe you can do the same, use your pride to shake yourself into shape.

Well, gotta run. Good luck to you all.

Last edited by redballoon; 05-28-2004 at 06:41 PM.
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