So I'm sure that a lot of people try to hide their binging problems, because it's embarassaing to let food have such a strong pull, and there's no need to give people additional reasons to think I'm a total pig. So what are your tales of binging?
When I lived with my parents, I would always get strong lectures from my mom if she found any chocolate in my bag. So I would go downtown, in an area when no one would know me, buy like 3-5 chocolate bars as well as a bottle of 7Up, and if I have money left over, 2 trays of sushi (16 pieces per tray). Then I would go to this kind of vintage movie theatre where I knew I would never run into anyone I knew, and sit all the way at the back balcony section (there are 2 and the top one I usually have to myself). And I'd proceed to eat everything I could before it felt like my stomach had a brick inside it.
Another one is going to a restaurant (thai or sushi usually) and eat a meal for two people easily by myself. I'd then walk the street, turn, and get on a new street and go somewhere else (like McD's but very rarely) or Starbucks and get a drink.
If I was at home, and my parents were out, I'd just search the fridge and start random things that I didn't even like (like bread with jam) or start making pita pizzas or 2 servings of chicken. It wasn't uncommon for me to eat all that in the space of 3-5 hours.
So if you guys want to share your stories, that'd be awesome. I think it helps to write it out because you can see how stupid binging really is, and how it's a waste of time that only hurts us.
My binges are usually sweets related, though if "forced" they can be anything edible. Thank goodness they've dwindled to rarely, but...
I remember going to a grocery store with a piece of paper in my hand, to make it look like I had a list. And just grabbing a basketful of nothing but food like cookies and little cake snacks and even a whole cake. All the meanwhile trying to project this image that I was really buying for a party. I'd repeat it in my head. "I'm buying this stuff for a party." Like someone might read my brain, see that and think "It's okay she's buying for a party." As if someone who could read my brain wouldn't be able to look behind that and see "I'm ashamed, and I'm craving comfort, and I just want to stuff myself until I can't move." So I'd take this crap food home with me and only when I was alone in the house, would I eat it. Eating alone was always the most satisfying part of my binging.
I had many binges in my life... MMMMaaannnyyy...
But one that I’ll never forget is the one I ate so much I could not drink water even though I was super thirsty from all the sweet.
When this happened I was in college living by myself. So I went to visit my parents and it was a “paradise” of good food.
So after dinner everyone went to bed. I had just eaten but had to go back to the kitchen to grab the ice cream container and bring back to my room where I was watching tv, after that a can of milk powder (if you never had it, it is delicious).
Then I got thirsty, went back to the kitchen, filled up a nice and cold cup of water, but could not drink it because I was so full!!!!
I remember looking at the water and drooling, but it could not make to my stomach. Nothing else could. It was super full...
I know. It is sick... That’s why I believe people like me have a disease. We can’t control it. It is an addiction... We HAVE to learn how to live with it...
I think my most shameful bingeing event was this one:
We had gone shopping and had gotten one of my favorite cereals: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We both ate some out of the box. That afternoon, DH went to work and I was at home. I started eating the cereal, and before I knew it - I had polished off the box.
So, I drove to the store, bought a new box and even though I was totally full, ate enough out of it to match the level it was at when he left. Then I buried the old box in the bottom of the garbage. I still don't know why I felt the need to hide that.
LOL! It is not funny but yet it is. I did the same thing you did but a little different. When I went to fast food places I would order A LOT of food then order two regular size drinks, instead of super large, to give the illusion there were two people- this was only if I was ordering enough to feed two hungry men then the shame would consume me. Also, if I ordered two sandwhiches, I would order them differently (like for two seperate people) One with extra sauce and then the other with no tomato! I have alot of binging stories.
My life was one big binge. It wasnt like once a month or ever other. It was daily, hence, my original weight. Oh well....
Shameful: My bedroom was on the bottom floor and I had a sliding door. My parents bedroom was on the second floor. Anyway, I would turn my TV on and then actually sneak out to get food!! I would make sure all the lights were out at the neighbors, so as not to be seen, go out the sliding door, hover around to the front of the house, hop in my car and then drive away with the headlights out - if I felt there might be eyes watching - to get fast food. I would take about 15 - 30 minutes. I wasn't even "fat" then but I had a real relationship with food. My parents only ate healthy - so I snuck out for food! I have other stories to about that sliding door but thats for another thread. lol
Last edited by RoyalAthena; 08-26-2008 at 04:59 PM.
Reason: spelling isnt my thing
I think we all have similar tales. I did the ordering game to make it look like I was getting food for a crowd, the fake shopping list that I would look quizzically at and then even make up stuff at the cash register like "I hope this is what he wanted", the hiding, learning to eat crunchy things like fritos silently so nobody would catch on. I always took trash duty because I did not want anyone else to see the wrappers I hid. Several times the raccoons or some other critters tipped the cans over and I almost had a heart attack because they tore the bags open as well. I was Miss Clean-up like you would not believe. And all that time I could never actually enjoy a meal out with friends or family, or even a holiday dinner because I was afraid to eat much in front of people. Once we were working in a hospital and at first break the guys would go to the cafeteria and get food. I always just sipped a diet coke. One of them finally said "Are you afraid to eat in front of people?"- wow it was like a stab to my secret self. It has been a long journey.
This is a good thread, it's helpful to see that other people do these crazy things too. I really thought I was the only one!
I would hide food too, when I lived with my parents. My mom would always tell me to lose weight, so I never wanted to eat in front of her. I wasn't even all that overweight then. When I moved out and lived with roommates, I would hide food then too. If they'd leave for the weekend, I'd plan binges, buying enough food for the entire weekend so I wouldn't have to go out. I would also pretend that I was buying for party, thinking that people could read my mind!
After I moved to my own apartment, I'd go to different grocery stores so that the employees wouldn't see me buying so much food within just a few days.
If I'd go out with friends, I'd always come home and eat more--I never ordered what I really wanted at the restaurant because I was ashamed. I felt like "the fat girl should order something healthy". Now I know that I should order what I want because if I don't, I'll buy it for myself and eat way more at home, alone.
I think I have been in serious denial about my bingeing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl1024
I CRAVE MAC AND CHEESE!! LIKE A MANIAC!!!!!! I could eat the whole box and still be hungry...
I used to polish off a 7.25 ounce box like it was nothing. Then I developed my love for spiral mac and cheese. I was kinda glad it usually comes in a 5.5 ounce box because then I didn't feel so guilty for eating the whole box. I wish sometimes they made a smaller box.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiberlover
I think my most shameful bingeing event was this one:
We had gone shopping and had gotten one of my favorite cereals: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We both ate some out of the box. That afternoon, DH went to work and I was at home. I started eating the cereal, and before I knew it - I had polished off the box.
So, I drove to the store, bought a new box and even though I was totally full, ate enough out of it to match the level it was at when he left. Then I buried the old box in the bottom of the garbage. I still don't know why I felt the need to hide that.
Similar story but with drumstick sundae nut cones.
Eating alone was always the most satisfying part of my binging.
Oh my yes, when I was single I would plan entire weekends around binging (and purging ). I wasn't clever enough to use the *list* idea while I was "stocking up" but, because of the p word I actually looked very thin so I'm sure no one would have believed I was going to eat a whole grocery cart full of food by myself. Then I would spend 2 days in my apartment with the drapes closed only getting up from the couch to go to the kitchen (or the bathroom). Ewwww! I am sooo glad those days are far behind me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by fiberlover
I think my most shameful bingeing event was this one:
We had gone shopping and had gotten one of my favorite cereals: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We both ate some out of the box. That afternoon, DH went to work and I was at home. I started eating the cereal, and before I knew it - I had polished off the box.
So, I drove to the store, bought a new box and even though I was totally full, ate enough out of it to match the level it was at when he left. Then I buried the old box in the bottom of the garbage. I still don't know why I felt the need to hide that.
I didn't know anyone else did these things! I would regularly buy two sodas at fast food places so they thought I was buying for a few people. Sometimes I would order a kids meal as well. I did the grocery list at the grocery food store. I also would pretend to be on my cellphone, talking to someone, and asking them what they wanted from ____ (fill in fast food, or cookies if at the grocery store, you get the idea). Once, I had a fake argument in line on the phone, telling the "other person" that we didn't really need TWO kinds of cookies... but okay, if he wanted them.
Sometimes I can't believe the things I've done. Like buying cookie dough at the store, eating as much of it as I could before I got home, and throwing it away in someone else's trash can before arriving with the groceries.
I agree, it's kind of sad and it's kind of funny, all at the same time. It'd be more funny if I hadn't bought the two small diet cokes from McDonalds along with 3 cookies and french fries just last week. At least it was better than what I used to do... there was only one small french fry, and no burgers at all! but still, 3 cookies.
Oh, can I play?
Halloween was always my favorite because I could buy 5 or 6 big bags of candy "for the trick or treaters"! Of course I would do this several times during the month of October, and always ended up having to run out at the last minute for more candy so I'd have some to give out. I would hide the candy somewhere so the kids wouldn't get into it, but really it was hidden so nobody else could keep track of how much of it I was eating. I basically spent the whole month of October feeling nauseous and eating nothing but candy.
I'd always eat bad stuff when nobody else could see, because if they couldn't see me eating the food they would never guess that I was a morbidly obese lady that loved to eat all the wrong stuff! I'm so glad I don't do this anymore.
Oh my god. I was just reading this forum, and got the biggest craving for chocolate. I wish I could just go to a convenience store somewhere far away and get like 10 bars. I'd get Bounty - i love those bars. And Snickers, and a kitkat. It's a good thing any near by stores are far off. Ok I feel a little better.
I'm just glad i don't have any chocolate in my room because I would eat all of it.
Oh wow. I thought I was the only person that did this stuff.
Order 2 drinks to pretend the food is for 2 people? check
Talk to people on the phone and get what "they" want for lunch? check
Buy new food and eat enough to match the old box? check
ONLY order healthy food in front of people, or drinks-no food, cuz the fat girl shouldn't eat anything else? check
Wow. I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone, and other people struggle with this. Thank you ladies for sharing.
Personal binging tales
Addiction
). I wasn't clever enough to use the *list* idea while I was "stocking up" but, because of the p word I actually looked very thin so I'm sure no one would have believed I was going to eat a whole grocery cart full of food by myself. Then I would spend 2 days in my apartment with the drapes closed only getting up from the couch to go to the kitchen (or the bathroom). Ewwww! I am sooo glad those days are far behind me!
- more than once 
