Wow so many stories I can relate to, kinda sad but funny. I've done the pretending to shop for a party thing, splitting my shopping up into separate orders as if it's not all mine, commenting on my imaginary flatmate's choices etc. I also used to grab healthy stuff, like a couple of apples and a cheap bag of salad leaves, to try and balance out all the bad stuff in my basket at the supermarket...I'm sure no one was fooled and, needless to say, the healthy things were usually left to go bad in the fridge. I was also a professional at going to different supermarkets and shops in my neighbourhood to buy all the food I wanted for a binge. Partly it was because I would get one specific item in my head which I HAD to have NOW (things like Mars icecreams or a certain brand of potato chips), and I would know exactly which supermarkets sold each item. I was also too ashamed to go to the same supermarket repeatedly in case the cashier remembered what I bought last time, so I had to shop around to get my binge foods.

I've had good or bad phases of eating, but for a few months up to February this year, I was eating breakfast and lunch plus lots of snacks at work, then maybe a pizza for dinner and then in my room at night, a family bag of potato chips, a box of 6 icecreams and a packet of biscuits or a full bar of chocolate, all washed down with soda. This was almost every day! You know it's bad when you binge so much in secret that having a big meal out with friends, which many people would consider a blow-out, is actually the healthiest you've eaten in weeks...

I'm happy to say that I haven't binged or even felt like it since getting back on track 2 weeks ago. Long may it continue!

i've done the party list/ fake phone call so i could double order / calling to an empty house/ splitting supermarkets and the bathroom stall thing (thats the most embarrasing thing, i really do not enjoy eating in a bathroom)
i was on a course on monday, on our lunch break my first thought was to eat in the bathroom because i hate eating in front of people. but i forced myself to buy just a sandwich and a bottle of water, took it back to the office and ate with everyone else. i felt really uncomfortable, no one was staring and everyone was busy eating their own lunches at the same time, but i still felt so selfconcious. but i was glad i did it, instead of eating in the bathroom. i never want to do that again!

I can really relate to everyone's stories. I've even gone so far as to buy birthday candles or wrapping paper when my shopping cart was full of candy and chips, to make it seem like I was buying for a birthday party.

I once made an entire tray of deviled eggs for a work party and then ate them all in my office. I was so ashamed that I skipped the party completely.

Another time, I bought a dozen fresh bagels from Panera's and asked them to include butter and jelly for "people who wanted that instead of cream cheese" and then I went home and ate it all myself. I couldn't finish everything so I made a special trip to our dumpster so I could throw away the evidence before anyone got home.

I've gone to buffets by myself during slow times and sat in a corner by myself to just gorge. I'd just eat plate after plate and try not to look at anyone else. I'm sure they were staring at me though. It was just so cheap compared to my usual binge and sometimes finances would win over my shame.

I've ordered huge amounts from fast food drive-thrus and then gone to isolated parking lots to binge in my car. I've even done multiple trips in one go... order a meal from McDonalds, eat it on the way to Burger King and order something else there, etc.

I am also a member of the "this order is for two people" club when going through a fast-food place. I would order four cheeseburgers, two fries, and a medium and a small drink. I even remember what year I did that in: 2003. That was my "thing".

I would also buy a 12 pack of donuts and hide them in my oven so my boyfriend (who is now my husband) wouldn't see them on the counter when he came over to my apartment. What would I have done if he had opened the oven only to find donuts?! How embarrassing if that would have happened. I've told him about my binges and he's been great not judging me. He's surprised that he never found the donuts.

I am also guilty of buying bags of nonpareil candies from a specialty candy store up the road from work (delicious...) and eating so many of them that the caffeine from the chocolate made me feel like I was on speed. Very scary. I did that 4 or 5 times.

The scariest binges happened to me right around Christmas last year. I would stand in front of my cupboards and fridge and eat anything and everything I could fit into my mouth. I was in a total daze and it felt like an out of body experience. I probably had about 6 of those within a 2 week span, and I knew I had to stop and start digging deeply into my emotions to see what the heck was going on with me! I haven't binged since January 3rd and I think it's largely in part because I am counting calories and that is keeping me accountable. Granted, I still have massive cravings and urges, but I do everything I possibly can to not give in. It's a tough struggle, that's for sure.

I don't know if I am a binger or not - but I do know I have no control over food. I will think about something until I can finally eat it. I keep candy all the time in my desk at work and I will chomp on it all day. I won't be hungry for dinner but I will make and eat it anyway. My problem isn't as much large volumes of food as it is constant food, although I do eat portions that are too large. Whether or not I am classified as a binger I do know that I plan for food, I get upset if I don't have the wanted food (ex: home alone with no snacks!), eat alone, hide what/how much I ate. It seems like if I am not eating I am thinking about eating. How does a person even start to overcome that? You can't quit eating and I can over eat on grapes and yogurt just as good as I can on candy and chips. I'm up like 30 lbs since November - I have not been on here in a long time so I have no idea what the ticker will say when I post this...but add 30. I feel out of control - any ideas on how to get started and get some control over food instead of it controlling me?

Wow. So good to know I'm not alone. I eat chocolate all day at work, and i'll move around the stuff in the trash can so that the chocolate wrappers aren't on top. Or wait until the end of the day when everyone is gone before i take the wrappers out of my desk drawer and put them in the trash.

I'm addicted to chips, fast food & buffets. Sadly it's how I've gained most all my weight. I eat "normal" at home but binged on fast food & buffets 2-3 times a week. I think my husband is still confused about how I've gained so much weight over the years because he thinks I eat the same meals as him.

But anyway.
I'd get the 50 piece McNuggests with bbq sauce yes you heard me right, the 50 piece, a super sized fry or a double cheeseburger & a sweet tea and eat myself into a stupor.

Whopper value meal big sized with an extra whopper or other sandwich.

The whatever pizza deal they had at dominoes just as long as it was at least 2 or 3 pizzas and eat them all over the course of a day or maybe have some left over for breakfast the next day.

Tailgate chicken meals from Bojangles or KFC. I'd eat as much as I could in one sitting and then come back and eat the rest later.

I'd hide in the corner of what ever buffet I could get into before or after the rush and eat as much as I could. I still cant eat in the middle of the room no matter what restaurant I go to.

Whole half gallons of hersheys chocolate ice cream.

Whole bags of doritoes, bbq, sourcream & onion or ruffles chips & lipton onion dip.

My family makes this breakfast called Egg Gravy which is basically 1/2 dozen scramble eggs made with gravy(the kind made with browning white flour in lard or oil and adding water or broth) and served over white bread. It's meant to serve 4-5 people but I could easily eat it all in one sitting with 1/2 loaf white bread at least.

When I cook a meal at home that wasn't the healthiest but one of my favorites I'd make myself a regular portion & eat with the rest of the family but when I'd clean up I would eat more of it if there was any left, but I would leave just enough to send to work with my husband the next day.

I've even been known to cook a ribeye steak dinner for 3 people just for me for lunch when no one was home.

I'd gorge myself until I could hardly move and was nauseous because I was so stuffed. I even tried to be a purger at one time but I really cant throw up at all, I even took 2 bottles of ipecac syrup to vomit and I still couldn't vomit. I was very miserable and almost went to the hospital to see if they would pump my stomach but I didn't out of fear of embarrassment.

It's been 9 days since I've had a binge. That is a HUGE deal for me.

Are we related? I just moved sme papers so hershey kiss wrappers would fall to the bottom.
As you can see, today is not going to well. Tomorrow is another day.
I think coming back here will be the biggest thing to help me! xoxxoxxo

I have this thing with cereal...if there is milk left, I have to add more cereal, but, then I need more millk, so I add it. And I'm back at the beginning of a cycle that only ends when there is no cereal left.

I would routinely binge usually every couple of weeks, I'd start my 'diet' up again, which day to day would be a about 550 calories plus exercise. Usually it was yoghurt/steamed veg and some kind of protein-usually quorn or something.

I'd keep this up for 2 weeks, sometimes 3-4, then come home after a Friday at college and binge like no tomorrow. Usually chips, large pizza, pint of ice cream, lots of chocolate, peanut butter and maybe something like garlic bread.

I can't really comprehend eating that much now, I want to sometimes, but it's never enough so I just stop myself from going so ott.

It's kind of comforting to see other people have done the same buying for a party excuse and so on, but also sad that people feel ashamed like that.
I remember feeling like it wasn't enough to just say "it's my friends party" to the cashier, I'd walk around the store thinking it over in my head-I felt so transparent and was sure someone was going to call me out on it.

i've done the trash thing too! i genuinely thought i was the only one that did that. funny thing is, i even did it at home when i would be the only one who would see the wrappers, maybe because of my own shame, trying to deny how much i had eaten.

Wow I read the whole thread and at first thing I thought was "I wasn't like this" but sadly I was.

I used to make dinner and then right after dinner continue eating all night until bed time! I remember my husband once said "are you STILL hungry?" It was so embarassing for me

My husband used to go to school Wednesday nights and on those nights I would "treat" myself out. I'd usually order enough food for two people OR go to two separate places and get two meals and eat it ALL!

I haven't binged like this in ages thank goodness. I found most of my overeating came from boredom/loneliness and took steps to occupy my time.

It's funny cuz now I might think "omg I binged" only to find out I might have eaten at most 1800 calories- I know my old binges were EASILY 5000+ calories!

This may just be me....but most of my life, I knew practically nothing about bulimia or huge binges.....so it would not have fazed me at all if someone heavy had a whole bunch of snacky-type foods in their cart at the grocery store.....and I would tend to think that the average person out there would probably not really suspect anything and just think, "oh, this lady should not be giving her kids all this fattening and unhealthy food".

And then the ones who DO know about bulimia, binging and binge foods....would already suspect and would probably not be fooled by the fake shopping lists or cell phone calls.

Nobody that I know is very familiar with this stuff and the worst they would think would be, "man, this woman keeps a lot of junk in her house", or "this woman is buying a lot of junk for her family". It would be the rare person that would suspect that the person is planning to leave and binge massive quantities of the food they just bought.

Similar thing with the fast food drive-thru's.....I would never suspect a thing if someone ordered too much food for one person....even if they only ordered one beverage. I would just assume she was taking it home and that there were others there (who might want to drink something in the fridge). I had sons who preferred to have juice in the fridge rather than a soda with their McNuggets.

IF....I saw someone go behind a building and started shoving an entire box of donuts in her mouth, I might suspect something.....but buying food in the grocery store? Or at a fast-food place? No. And *I* know a heck of a lot more than everyone else I know about eating disorders and binging behavior.....and this is mainly because I've learned all about it on the internet because I was specifically interested in it.

I think that often, when WE are hiding a secret, we think others can easily see it.....but that's usually not true. I'd bet that most people would not even suspect what was really going on.....unless they hid the same secret themselves......and they wouldn't be fooled anyway because they'd probably done the same things themselves to hide it.

I think that most people tend to look to see (in restaurants, etc.) if someone is eating healthy food....in this age of healthy food awareness. But a person would have to really be shoveling in a whole lot of junk to make people stare, etc. I think that if you had real food but in usual amounts and averagely healthy, nobody would even blink.
And I think that what WOULD catch someone's attention would be if the person was seen surreptitiously eating and trying to hide it. Furtive eating behavior would probably be noticed (the person's behavior, not what they were buying).

But this is typical of having secrets (and we all have them). We think that no matter how hard we try to hide them, others will easily see them anyway and can read us like a book. But the reality is probably that most of the other people we think are reading us, are generally oblivious (and too worried about and thinking about themselves, to be honest).

deena

my trigger foods are sweets.....the thing I've binged on the most would be those huge family sized/party sized chocolate chip cookies that grocery stores decorate with tons of frosting. I can eat a whole one myself and they are huge. The more frosting the better. I have hidden my binges by eating in the car when I am traveling for work stopping at one exit for a bunch of fast food and the next exit to run in and grab several candy bars for dessert. Having four little boys it's never crossed my mind to hide what I was buying or to pretend it was for someone else, because I guess I hadn't ever thought that the cashier would be suspicious. Probably because I am so used to buying so much for a full family. ....I haven't binged in quite a while, but the urge is often still there...

I agree with you, Deena, regarding those tricks and games people play with cashiers and delivery people. I don't think these people notice or care that much.

I read this entire thread. I look at binging as eating beyond the point of satisfying hunger in order to satisfy an emotional need.

I have a food addiction and lately I've been having a lot of binges. The other night I had dinner with friends and I left dinner and went straight to McDonalds and got another full meal. I even planned the trip to McD while at the dinner with my friends (where I ate a normal meal - and I was no longer hungry).

I also ate an entire box of Snackwells cookies the other day at work...and yesterday I did the same thing. I. just. couldn't. stop. It was very upsetting. I'm trying to get a handle on this behavior. This isn't me and I'm sick of it!