Thank you all for giving me some insight into the situation. I really needed that. I am feeling better about it now. It passed pretty quick which is a good thing. I'm managing. Just having to try to take everything in stride and keep an open mind. I still feel very positive. That has not changed. My confidence level is coming up. Actually, its strange, but I think it's better now than it has been in a long while. I'm not quite sure how such a devestating situation could make it do that but that is what is happening. Anxiety is a ***** though. Pardon my language. It drives me mad. There are so many medications out there and none of them seem to work. Exercise helps slightly but it's still bad. Thank you so much you guys. You are helping me pull through this and without you I would be a lost soul.
You don't know me, I've just started posting here. I've been reading this thread, though, and my heart goes out to you. I wanted to lend my support, and let you know that I'm in San Diego, too. If you'd like RL support, feel free to PM me and we can get together.
About the anxiety meds: I've been through two years of Panic Disorder with my DH, and we've picked up an understanding of what's going on. The trick about the meds is, perversely, you have to take it BEFORE you're in the middle of the attack itself. If you feel the beginning signs of increased tension, if you're going into a situation that you just know is going to push your buttons, you need to take it right then to give it time to kick in. Klonopin won't completely make the anxiety go away, but it will take the edge off and make it manageable. DH has also had great success with meditation. He listens to "Meditation for Beginners" by Jack Kornfeld, and he's become very Zen.
It sounds like you're hanging in there, and from reading this thread I know you have the strength to get through this. Hang in there!
I had to move from the klonopin to Valium. I have an anxiety attack right in the doctor's office. I think the Valium will be temporary though. Just getting me over the hump for now and then I think I can scale it down. I am on lexapro right now and that does help my anxiety when things are normal. It's just so hard getting the right combinations.
I go to the doc today. Something has got to give. I've not kept any food down for two weeks and have already lost two pant sizes, and I know that is not healthy to be losing that much weight so fast.
Mentally I am doing better. Kind of really in the anger phase now. Not many tears anymore. I come to find out that the "friend" that my husband was talking to was a prosepective romantic interest for him. The same one he told me was married and they were just so called friends. I'm getting a little more info out of him each day. I just want honesty so I can get some closure.
Ok, just got back. I had labs done. All were good. The doc is not that concerned with the weight loss since all the bloodwork looked fine. Actually he thought what a bonus it was that I was losing weight in spite what I was going through. Can't figure that one out. Just did not sit well with me. It's not like I want to not be able to eat.
As for the weight loss. I have lost 21 pounds in two weeks. I weighed Monday at 233 and today I weighed in at 227. 248 was my weight before all this **** started to happen.
He took me off Valium and put me on Neurontin. Don't know much about that med, so I am going to have to do some research.
Jen, I got your pm. I've not yet looked at the site. My mind just has been all over the place. I will look at it today. Thank you for sending me a site that is going to be helpful because we all know I can use a heap of help right now.
Seth and Kara get back home tomorrow. I am hoping his return does not set me back. I've made alot of progress since he has been gone. I'm going to do my best to keep balance in the house and just give him his space and let him do his own thing. Actually I'm scared to death of how his return is going to affect me.
I'm glad to see that your blood work looks fine, but I can't help but be worried, nevertheless. I'm really quite surprised that your doctor isn't more concerned. Losing that much weight due to your inability to keep anything down a bonus?? How's about a second opinion??
I'm glad your baby is coming back tomorrow; I know you've missed her terribly. I will be interesting having him back in the house again but remember, you are strong, and you will get through this!
Tammy--In my PM I told you about one of my friends who went through some of the things you are going through and she also couldn't keep food down and lost a lot of weight. I can call her if you like and find out if she has any words of wisdom to help you. The last time I talked to her, she was able to finally keep small amounts down and she sees military docs.
Well, he got back today. It went bad at first and then he really showed alot of compassion. I was a wreck. It was my birthday so that kind of made it worse. We went to eat. When I got home it all came up. What a waste of money. But for now he is doing everything possible to keep me happy. He still does not love me but cares for me as a friend.
I'm just so darn depressed right now. I'm hoping I can get back to the routine by Monday or so when he goes back to work.
I just feel so f'ing weak from not being able to keep food down. No energy at all. I'm at a very low point right now. That helpless feeling. I know that will change but this is just one of those days that are going to happen from time to time. I'm trying my hardest to get out of the rut. It shall pass. Just hoping soon.
Tammy, please, get yourself to a different doctor or to the ER. There's something going on for you to be unable to keep food down this long. Your mind and body need every bit of strength they can get right now. You need to be able to think clearly, to handle stress, to have the patience you need not only with your son, but life in general...So many things. Please, pursue this until you get to the bottom of it. You need your reserves.
Tammy, please stop eating regular food. You have to work your way back up to it as I referred to in a previous post. Take your anti-nausea medication 1 hour before you plan to eat. Start with clear fluids ie gingerale, jello, broth, tea or coffee with no milk, apple juice. When you are tolerating that try full fluids ie milk, soups, yogurt, plain ice cream, other juices, then when you are tolerating that then try regular food but start with really bland food, toast, oatmeal, rice. If you can't even tolerate clear fluids then at least you can say to the dr that you can't keep clear fluids down. I would think any dr worth his or her salt is going to tell you the same thing that I have done. These are basic orders for when someone has persistant nausea. You can't expect your stomach to hold anything down when all you've been doing is vomitting for 2 weeks. It isn't going to magically start working right, you've got to help it heal by starting slow and working back to regular food. I will guarantee you that if you go to the ER they will give you IV fluids with anti-nausea medication and give you clear fluids to see if you can tolerate that.
Tammy, you just can't go on like this. Go to a clinic or the hospital (anywhere but to that doctor who says weight loss from vomiting and diarrhea is a "bonus")
I'm sorry your birthday was so miserable and that we couldn't wish a better day for you. But I know we're all sending best wishes for you to keep up your strength so you can work towards a better year ahead starting today! It WILL get better, my dear.
