Hi guys! I am back from my mini vacation to the Smokies. It was so nice to get away. But someone explain THIS to me PLEASE!!! I go on a week long vacation where food is grammed at me the whole week and I LOSE weight - only to gain it right back when I get home. Then I go on a weekend vacation where people are completely supportive to my eating needs and I eat anything that won't eat me! I am terrified to get on the scales right now! Jeans are back in the closet for now. I was BAD, BAD, BAD!!!
Welcome doingmybest! You must be a very self motivated person to be able to work on a book at home. I wouldn't get past the first page! I use to have to have to go to a coffee house just to study. I would look around the house and come up with too many things I wanted to do instead. (kind of like I'm doing now with cleaning the place )
Crime girl - I had something very important to tell you but that was two pages of reading ago and I forgot what it was! I will remember again. All the sugar has been BAD for my brain I'm so glad BF is playing nice about the diet and weightloss now! Mine did the total oposite about eating out. He drags me all over the city to places where I can't find food but when he goes on Southbeach - the diet that every place has a special menu for - he can't eat out because he doesn't want cheat! I wanted to smack him - except that I'm not a "smacker." I'd look silly trying to.....
Red - I like the decluttering idea. How far did you get? Did I read all of that right? We are in the process of doing that too...mostly because the friends we spent the weekend with are coming back to NC next week and may stay overnight with us during their trip. We are pretty cluttered right now. Need to get rid of the junk and put things back in their places.
Stormy - your cruise sounds wonderful and a great goal/reward. Plus you get to spent precious time with your family. I use to do a mother daughter thing with my mom once a year but her new job doesn't let her take much time and she doens't budget it for our m/d trips - she's more of a "I want to take monday off" kind of vacation day spender.
Shannon - look at what you started I have 4 balls, thank you very much. One is much bigger than the others though - it's a volley ball BF found his gift. He likes it. Of course he listed the sports he's willing to try and suddenly Tennis wasn't on his list anymore - AFTER he saw the gift. He's a sporting snob. Use to be in perfect shape - a lean/mean cycling machine! Then he fell in love with big jump type bikes and became this teenager that overtakes office complexes after hours and jumps off their rooftops. I guess you can be chubby and still respected in that "sport." because suddenly he didn't care about his weight or what he ate.......now he is concerned again and wants to do NOTHING besides ride that bike. NOTHING!!! Don't get me wrong I love bikes too but he's a biking freak!
Well I'd better get to cleaning my house! Talk to everyone later. I might not check in today as it's Valentine's day and I want to spend as much of it as possible with BF.
I won't beat around the bush - I really need some help getting my plan back into action! I just dont' want to eat healthy food right now. Not at all. I know if I just get through 3 days I'd be fine but they seem SO LONG! Right now!! Help guys!!
For no apparent reason, I lost 1.5 pounds this morning...It must be the lifting of my spirits...
SHAN- congrats on the new decade! I love it when that happens! Dan, be careful of yourself...I hav NEVER cleaned so hard my hand swelled....
RED- sometimes you feel better after you do better. So just stay the course and give yourself some good self talk. Be your own best friend for encouragement.
How freaky to see a dude try to kill hmself on the pier! Santa Monica is a super -hip place...Quite honestly, I don't spend much time there...I'm more of the greenich-village alternative type.
The west-side of LA is too beautiful for me...
CG- 5 hours on one article? why WHY do people write like that? It's a crime
STORMY- Is it stormy monday? *giggle* I should listen to you all and keep a journal I KNOW that is what I need. it makes all the different. I can't control my behaviour if I'm not paying attention to what it is.
HOPPER- I love writing in coffee shops too. I'm lucky, there are some major good one switint walking distance.
As for trying to eat healthy...Youknow, when I start to eat bad things, it just makes me crave more. I find that if I can just focus on the healthy foods I like and get full on those It is easier to go forward. Good luck! If it were easy, everyone would do it...
Lots of people have asked me what I'm writing about...Okay:
It is a true story of how at age 18, I and my family chose to go to Far East Russia to become missionaries, arriving the day the USSR fell. It is a coming of age story, where the main character tries to come out of evangelical religious tyrrany at the same time as an entire country struggles to recover from political tyrrany.
As to what I used to do...I ran conferencing, mostly the It side for video/web/audio for big international firms. It was/is fun, but now they are hiring two peole to do my job. HA! I think everything works out for the best.
Hey! If you are interested, and have some time, I have a website where I made the story of my leaving into an allegorical parable. :blush: "Miriam the Camel Driver"
I'm proud of it.
Little Grasshopper - I am really glad you had a good time on your mini-vacation! It is always good to get away!
I know how hard it is to come back from relaxation, where you ate what you wanted and didn't think about it (b/c you were on vacation). It's really hard to get your mind wrapped back around eating right and healthy. My only advice is to look at all you have accomplished...do you want to lose all that and slide backwards? I would suggest slowly getting back into the groove. Start off slowly, like you were just beginning. Start incorporating better eating and exercise, adding more and more each day. That might help you out.
Okay...now for the bossy advice!! Yes, it sucks..going from carefree to super careful! Life would be so much easier if we could just eat whatever and never have to worry about where it lands. But, we can't! You have done so good for so long. I can't (and won't) let you give up now! So, buckle up and get back on the horse! Remember that what you put in your mouth today will end up on your butt tomorrow!
Okay, I will stop now. You can get back...just don't give up...
Morning all! A late riding lesson today so I have extra time this morning. I may put in a call to the father. It's still Valentine's Day there. Got two replies to mail I'd sent out about whether to go to Dubai or not. The mag in the States is sending someone so that means no work for me. Guy with the horses thinks the big race times are bad to get people's attention. I think he's right and besides I don't have the money to buy clothes and maybe right now, even if I kick *** for the next five weeks, I won'T look so hot, just sweaty. Friend there, no reply. She'll probably be busy. Hmm. Don't know yet what to do. Probably shouldn't go. Need to concentrate on work here. . . Thanks, everyone, for your congrats on getting to the gym. That felt really good to have done and it's so nice to get some recognition from you all. No one else is going to care anywhere else, in fact, if I tell people at work, they are more likely to feel about themselves and then try to make me feel bad about what I did. They only see the results and not the struggle. Why is it that people don't applaud success unless they know it comes with a struggle and even then would more often than not rather see you trip up at the last moment. Jealousy I guess, a ready excuse for their continued sloth and lack of discipline. It's every bit as hard for me as anyone. I think if I get anywhere it's only because I'm more stubborn. . . isn't that supposed to be a bad trait? Oh, wait, let's just call it perserverance, persistence, tenacity, sticktoitiveness instead. . .
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stormy -- yup, I spoiled those guys. Don't know why. And the production people were a loss because they took the chocolate downstairs and I never heard about it. Probably a lot of others ate it and they didn't know who it was from. It was good chocolate too! Oh well, I wasn't really looking for thank-yous and all. Couldn't bear to be stingy and not bring something. I waited to put it out in the morning on my desk. This means, all the guys, already horribly spoiled by the Japanese custom (and these are foreigners!) are going, "Heh, where's my chocolate?" I just say, "yes, where IS your chocolate? That was my very question!" and they don't pursue it because they know I will get angry and also I'm always bringing stuff in anyhow when there's no occasion at all 'cept for the fact that the money was burning a hole in my pocket and I passed by some good-looking stuff on sale or something and I'm a sucker! So yesterday, just when thay all figured I had nothing for them I brought it out and they all (perhaps) felt guilty. Ah, stormy, you got so close to making your challenge I am ashamed. I am UP from the start of mine. I don't know. It's so discouraging because I thought it was going to be easy. Well, congratulations! Eight pounds is a ton! Hope you're proud. You must feel great!
shanberg -- Hurrah for you!! How wonderful that you are below 260. Great! Great! GREAT! I'm so glad for you! Keep at it and you will soon be into the 40s. Eyes on the next step. I hope this lift will be like a strong tailwind pushing you toward your goal. Yes, with the guys at work, it can be fun and then not at all. It's tiring really so some days I just pull my head in and let it all go by without a comment. I think they feel my utter boredom then and it takes away from their fun. Guys are really like so many hot-air balloons. Wow, you have a house. That's cool. I too have more bills than married people with two or three kids because of my animals and the high upkeep costs. But that's my choice and I don't talk about it because most people think raising kids is somehow more important. I say it's not at all. We don't live in a country where they're trying to raise the population or make soldiers. It's their choice too. And a lot of our choices are linked to circumstance as well and decisions we made with what we saw in front of us and what we held in our hearts as being best for us. I have held out. Here, the pay scale is so lopsided, single women lowest, married guys highest. I have to find a way to get around it. Still thinking. Still hoping. I need a dose of courage.
grasshopper -- there you are!! I forgot you were going off again. Didn't you just take a vacation to your grandmother's! Or was that an obligatory visit and this was the real vacation? I'm just jealous. Glad you enjoyed it. It sounds to be like you do well when people are trying to oppose you because it brings out your me-against-the-world thinking and you're a fighter but when you're alone you want to pamper yourself with food. Sounds like you are like me in that you are feeling the deprivation of your restricted diet and overeat. It sounds like you still have to eat less. This is my realization too. I can't be working out like a demon and eating so much and then when the exercise slacks off still eat like an athlete in training. I have to learn to eat less and less and make the food that goes into be highly nutritious so I don't end up looking like so many people around me here, skinny but not healthy-looking and these are people in their 20s. What will they look like 20 years down the road? Like roadkill, no doubt! grass, i am trying to do little bits of decluttering because I now think of it as letting energy into my room, allowing it to flow, cleaning crud because I want to bring good, clean things into my life. I don't see it as becoming less of a slob or as wanting to look good for someone else, to be able to show off my room. I see it now as something purely magical like. It's great! I love the idea. So, grass, come on, get with it with your eating. You don't have to be a major health nut with the eating, just don't be pushing really awful stuff into your mouth. Nowadays, when people suggest a fastfood place, I simply say, nonjudgmental like, "that's not food." and say no more. The garbage is just not an option. That's the real bad stuff. The choices lie elsewhere. Maybe you need to try to find other reasons not to eat certain things other than you're "not allowed" it.
doinmybest -- congratulations to you too! Great that you lost 1.5 lbs! Who knows WHY you lost it. Just rejoice and kick on! You're going to come out A-OK!! Yeah, that guy jumping off the pier and then floundering around in the dark was spooky. It was like he chickened out. We heard the splash as someone went in and then heard him out there crying for help and realized he really wanted help. Luckily the rescue guys went in after him. They had a light and were playing it on him. They were hesitant to jump in I guess there are all sorts of kooks who would hurt you if you went in or who are just kidding. But the guy was calling for help, saying he couldn't swim and he was fully clothed of course and so finally the rescue guy stripped down and dove in and they were able to bring him out. He was crying and obviously just in a sad state emotionally. It was a quiet night and so people heard him. If the ocean had been rougher we wouldn't have been able to. also, though it was dark it was early enough that there were people down at the end of the pier. It's a beautiful place down there, beautiful but eery and scary. I could see how someone feeling fragile could just decide they couldn't handle things anymore and want to give themselves up to it. But hitting the water I guess awakens your survival instincts and the fact that it's not the welcoming place it so seductively seemed to be. I didn't really like Santa Monica as far as the atmosphere went. I mean, it was perfect for what I wanted, an ecape into a kind of fantasy world, which is really what this fling with the guy probably was all about. He is in film and that's why he was there from N.Y. helping with the making of the film. Westwood or something, some fancy area, that's where they were. I met the director and actors and all and it was just so, oh, grown people so full of themselves. So plastic and playing with life, out of touch I'd say, calling their egotistic, neurotic drivel art. Another friend works at the Japnese-American newspaper downtown and that was much more real. We get out of the car and some dude rolls over saying he'd fix our meter for the change. He pulls out a straightened paper clip or something and jiggled in around in the meter to add time. Ok, cool. He's making his living. I admire his resourcefulness. Guy's head is probably working a lot better than those film people. To me, that's life. I just wish people would learn to break out of their boxes and use their resources to better themselves, but how can they do that when no one's helping and they no doubt feel this is their place in life. doinmybest, I'll check out you writing later. I gave it a quick look. You sure are prolific! Have fun with it!
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shanberg -- hi there! just saw your post. Have your come down yet from your victory!?!?
Last edited by redballoon; 02-14-2005 at 05:24 PM.
Shanberg-congrats on your victory. Doesn't it feel great? You asked what I was going to school for. I work in Physical Therapy (been out for about 7 years) and I am now working on my Doctor of Physical Therapy. I work full time and go to school full time. It is tough but oh well.
Doin-congrats on your weight loss too. Every little bit helps! So you like Tae Bo huh? I do Tae Bo a couple of times a week. I love it! All of my tapes are atleast 4-5 years old. Have you tried any of his new stuff? I saw a cardio DVD at Walmart yesterday but I did not buy it b/c I do not want it if it is the same stuff as the old Tae Bo advanced tapes. Do you happen to know? Which Tae Bo ones do you use?
Red-you will lose for this challenge. I have a feeling that you are more determined this time. Losing weight is not easy but we can and will do it.
GH, I am glad you are back. Do not feel bad about vacation, let it go. You will pick up and get into your routine again. It takes time like everything else but I know you will do it. You seem to be one of those people who are very connected to their bodies. Listen to it! You know what it takes to make you feel good and function. I bought a new video last week. As you know I work out from home. I have been doing Windsor and Denise Austin's Pilates from home but I get bored with it. Well since I like the whole theory behind Pilates I decided to keep doing it. I bought a video by The Crunch called Burn and Firm Pilates. It is a lot of standing Pilates some done with light weights. I have never done much standing Pilates, mainly just mat, but I did like the video. She gives lots of verbal cues and tries to remind people to keep their Pilates form. It will give me a little bit more variety with my Pilates workouts. Do you do much standing Pilates in your class?
Hi guys - tomorrow I need to get back on track. I'll be avoiding the scales for a while. This has been a major back slide!!! I have two full days though so nights will be the big problem time. Thanks for the support. I do need it!! When I'm weak - I'm really REALLY weak!
Stormy - I have never done standing pilates. One of the trainers I really like is being trained on the machine they use. I am planning to train with her once she is finished with her classes.
Red - Go for the de cluttering!! I like it! I do that sort of - when life gets really hectic I clean my house. I use to clean my office. It cleared my head - and my office Today I spent most of the day cleaning. (partly because my new steam buggy arrived and I needed some time to use it
Shannon - thank you for the advice - I am going to print it out and keep it. I'll be needing it over the next few days. It's the 3 day hurdle i struggle with. I know I'll be fine once I'm over it.
Well I need to go spend the rest of my night with BF. He got me a tree pruner for V-day. I LOVE it!!!! Very practical and I really really love working in my garden and yard! He knows me so well
Hi people. Help! I am feeling stuck and hopeless again. I got on the scale this morning and even though it was AFTER I ate and I usually weigh before, and I had a lot of salty things the day before the number just made me sick. . . . I NEED a sign that I am indeed even ABLE to get this weight off again. I really don't understand it. I'm not eating more than I used to. I guess it is all the exercise and lost muscle mass. Amazing really, what a difference muscle makes. No wonder guys have it easier. Even without exercising they have more muscle. Oh, rant, boo-ho, boo-hoo. I'm just feeling sooooo fat! I went riding, went straight to the gym afterward, jogged, did some leg weight training, took the bus home though. My knees are hurting and my feet and I just thought I shouldn't push it.
grasshopper -- Yeah, I like shannon's words too. I wish I could use them too but I can't because this is the fattest I've been in years. Everyone is so sweet and saying I can do it and I'm really trying it SEEMS but nothing's happening. I just don't understand why this fat is sticking to me like this.
Sweet of the boyfriend to get your pruners. If it made you happy, then good.
What, by the way, is a steam buggy?
Well, how have you been? Any sign of strength yet? What do you think is happening? What do you feel like when you get "weak?"
stormy -- you see me ranting above. That's the way I feel, despite your sweet words. Why is everyone else seeming to be losing weight and I can't make it come off. My body is bulging really grossly, in awful places. I feel like I move so much too. Is perhaps something going wrong with my hormones that this is happening? I don't know. It is just so weird. I guess I'm just going to have to count calories as that's the only true way to know what I'm putting in my mouth everyday. This extra 10 lbs I think is making my knees and feet hurt and that never happened before. This is making me feel really, really out of shape. Ok, sorry for the rant. stormy, when do you ever find time to exercise to your tapes with your busy schedule? Are you doing WW, by the way? I forgot what people were doing what. Really need something to make me feel less fat. Jeez. What is this? Could giving up sugar be making me hold onto water? It's usually the opposite. Could the salty things I've been eating be doing it to this extent. Oh well, just stick it out, stick it out, stick it out!!!
Last edited by redballoon; 02-15-2005 at 04:14 PM.
Ok, guys, I'm going to bed. I decided not to go to Dubai after all. It was a really hard decision but I just have to pull my head in a bit with the finances and this wasn't going to be cheap. Sure, 5-star hotel was cheaper than it would have been but it was still expensive for me and what the heck what am I going to do in a five-star hotel alone!!? I feel bad about this because I told people I was going but what the heck, I think I need more of a break, a cheaper and more relaxing one. If I had gone I may have been able to work and get stories and sell them and cover expenses but then I wouldn't have had any holiday and a new country while you're working can be very tiring, especially when you have to focus on the race alone and not the rest of the place. Ok, just wanted to get that off my chest. Good night! Hope to see some life around here when I wake up.
Good morning guys. Well today is day one - again. I need to be really good and stubborn for 3 days in a row and then I should start feeling like my old self again.
Red - you asked what I feel like when I'm weak - it's mostly and emotional thing. Like I "say" I'm not going to eat that but 10 minutes later it's vanished, except for the crumbs I'm getting rid of still It takes me the first three full days of going "cold turkey" and then I start feeling more in control of my food....the first two weeks are the most difficult. I still crave things but it gets better daily. After two weeks it feels like a lifestyle again. And I'm usualy solid. I just played too much when I came back from vacation. Had wine too often, then dessert. Oh, and I tried to get rid of the rice cookies and rice ice cream and found that having no sweets at all in the house is pretty hard for me!! I ended up cheating on things that are bad for me - like peanut butter and honey. Peanut butter is full of hydrogenated oils - a HUGE cause of pain and swelling in the body! I don't touch the stuff, unless I have no other choice at all!!
I'm sorry you're having such a low point. I know it must be exhausting to up and down and I'm really sorry you're having to go through it. Are you reading any books that might help motivate you? Does getting on the scales keep you from gaining or just make you feel horrible about yourself when you do. They don't stop me from gaining - I'm thinking of getting rid of them! Seriously!! As for you hormone question - yes it can easily be hormones. Remember when I found out mine were out of wack and had to start walking 30 minutes a day for stress relaxation. I lost pretty easily then. I need to start doing that again. Any time you're under great stress your hormones have to struggle to keep up and produce the right amount of whatever you'll need at the right time.....all of that can make you gain or lose weight easily. If you tried to focus only on the gym - would you go everyday (or five days a week?) If you could do it 2-3 weeks in a row you'd probably start seeing results you like but the body needs consistency otherwise it stores for the famine.
I wish I was more creative - I'd write you a horoscrope too I'm not the creative one - I'm the one that hits my head against the same wall until I've hit it enough to knock it down. Sorry. I will check back in later. Have a great day!
Oh, Red, Red....I am sooo sorry you are having such a hard time. I can feel the frustration through my computer screen. I've been there, oh, have I been there. The work, the agonizing, the doing without...then the complete and total devistation of the scale. Where did I go wrong? Oh, yes, I know where you are coming from.
Okay, I try not to do this, because I feel like a preachy know-it-all, but I think this might help. I learned this in my psych class (thats right, psychology-not health!). When a person goes on a diet, then off, then on, then off...you get the picture...each time the body catches on much faster than the previous time. It goes into protection mode. It senses you are dieting and slows the metabolism down sooner than the previous diet attempt. That is why it is harder to lose each time a person starts a new diet. The body KNOWS what you are up to. That is also the reason people that alternate calories/fat lose faster/easier than those that do not. They are keeping the body from realizing what is going on. Some people call it shocking the system, but what is really happening is the body isn't aware you are dieting.
Also...you DO NOT LOSE FAT CELLS!!! They shrink as you lose weight (thus, lyposuction). When you stop dieting, your metabolism is still slow (in protection mode), but your intake of fat and calories increases. The fat cells start filling up. Since they were shrunk, they now hold less...which means in order for them to handle the excess material they split. So, instead of 100 fat cells, you now have 200. That is why people who go off a diet for a while gain so fast and so easily.
Okay...I know this isn't very reassuring, but I wanted you to know that what is happening could very well be a result of your body's reaction to your going off your diet. Your body is very smart.
Now, for my take on things....If you want to lose weight, you have to take control of your life. You have to make a concious decision that you are going to lose and you are going to eat right. I know you are having serious mental stress right now. That is definately contributing to your weight issues. I would suggest small, baby steps. Start with something you can change successfully. I had to choose something I knew I would succeed at...if I had failed, I would've stopped right there. You have already started with the gym. Maybe now you can change something in your eating. Add more fruit. Try to eat every two to three hours. Make small meals and snacks. Choose one day of "freedom" where you can eat whatever you want. But, the rest of the week you have to eat on plan and healthy. I know you don't really want to count calories, but I assure you, it is worth it. Once you see what you are eating and putting into your body, you will better be able to make changes that will help you shed the pounds.
I know you can do this. Right now you are having a really hard time just living life and getting through each day. Add your stress over your weight...it's no wonder you are feeling so down. I know you were trying a sort of carefree approach to your weight, but I just don't think you can do that. You want to lose too badly (I'm sorry, I know that was harsh). I think if you got back on a "diet," with your going to the gym, that you would lose weight.
Don't let the scale dictate your life. It is an inanimate object that feels nothing...for you or anyone. Anyone that can move to a foreign country and live can win the struggle over weight. I admire you so much for that. I would never be able to move to a different country to live. And you have such a great personality! You are funny and smart.
I want you to succeed. I will do whatever you need to help you get there. I feel like I was a little hard on you, but I am afraid you are going to give in to your grief and quit. If I hurt you, I am sorry, that was not my intention. Please don't give up. Even though I have lost, I still stick out in odd places. Especially my stomach. If that would just shrink my life would be almost perfect.
Red,things do not always happen on our time. Stay away from the evil scale. Keep exercising and eating as healthy as you can. Do not weigh. I know that it is hard to not do it but just don't. It takes time. You WILL NOT lose overneight. It takes about 8-12 weeks to even notice a change in clothes for some people. I have days like you that I feel really fat. You just need to pull yourself through it. Remember you have control over this and it will come. Consistency is the key!!! Also, for every pound overweight that we are it puts about 7 pounds of extra force through our knees. Crazy huh? For example, I am lugging around an extra 20 pounds. That is 140 extra punds of force through my knees. I have to look back in some of my old physical therapy books, but that may even be 7 pounds PER knee. In fact, now that I am thinking about it I think it is per knee. I am sorry that you can not make that trip. It would have been great for you to get away and also make some connections while you are at it. Well instead of looking good for that let's almost make a plan for you to lose it for your riding. Just think how light and graceful you will feel on Heidi. As far as me finding time for exercise despite my crazy schedule, I HAVE to. I do it for me. It is the one thing that I do for me that I know will make me more productive and also it will be beneficial for everyone b/c it allows me to focus more and have more energy. Months ago (like before Dec) when I wasn't as serious about losing weight, I only exercised 30 mins/day. When I did it, I did it half-***. For example, I would get on the elliptical and watch a tv show while I was working out. I would not concentrate on developing a lean, strong body. My heart was not into it but I went through the motion b/c I have always exercised and I knew that it was something I had to do. When I b/c serious about it and started to work out longer and put my heart and soul into it the weight started to come off. So now it is scheduled in my schedule each day like it is a part of my job.
GH, you will make it through this week. You may have threw your metabolism into overdrive on vacation and that it what made you initially lose a few on vacation. I know that if I eat out on cheat day and weigh myself a day or two later I have lost it. It happens sometimes. You'll do fine and you lose that little bit of extra weight before you know it. Have you got back into your exercise routine since you have been back?
Shan, you are a great support and motivator to this board. Thank you for being who you are!
When I was at my highest, at ~230, I had just been through a tough tough time. I was in a bad relationship, self-esteem in the toilet.
I had pretty much decided, at age 26, that I would never turn a guy's head again.
But then, I changed my mind. I decided that I wanted to be in control of my life, and that beauty was on the inside. That a woman is beautiful until proven otherwise.
I took the took to appreciate my body, and from the safe place of appreciating it and loving what it could do for me, I worked to improve it.
So, Red, and everybody, don't be disgusted with your body. Don't hate differentparts of it. Think about the good things it does for you every day. Appreciate your body and love yourself.
Then it is is makes more sense to do the things that help your body, and help you.
There is no need to stay being sad. Thre are many reasons to have joy at all the good things life has, and the good things our bodies can do and that we can do.
It's true. Turn your thoughts around towards the good things and leave the bad behind.
Hi people. Before 5 a.m. Was going to sleep in a bit but a big tremor had me out of bed fast! They said it wasn't that big but it sure felt big! and some stuff fell off some high places. Scary. I had my coat on. Don't know where I'd go but I just don't want to be under the rubble of my building, which is only 2 stoeys but I'm on the first floor (ground floor). That big quake in Kobe was early in the morning too. I hate these things!
Last edited by redballoon; 02-15-2005 at 03:28 PM.
Actually the initial reports (they have them on TV immediately) had the tremor lower but later ones said it was bigger. They use a scale here of I think 1-6 and it's just by feel. They were saying 3 but then upped it to 4 in Tokyo. The center of the quake was northeast of here where I would have been this morning if I'd gone to the racehorse training center. There it was a weak 5. Some stuff feel off my refrigerator and a mirror I have propped up against the wall shifted. That's all I noticed. The water pressure was down but now it's normal again. Oh well, just giving you quake reports. . .
Just looked up the time of the Kobe quake. That was 5:46 a.m. This one was 4:46 a.m. Funny.
Last edited by redballoon; 02-15-2005 at 03:27 PM.
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Ah, stormy, you got so close to making your challenge I am ashamed. I am UP from the start of mine. I don't know. It's so discouraging because I thought it was going to be easy. Well, congratulations! Eight pounds is a ton! Hope you're proud. You must feel great! 
Hurrah for you!! 
How wonderful that you are below 260. Great! Great! GREAT! I'm so glad for you! Keep at it and you will soon be into the 40s. Eyes on the next step. I hope this lift will be like a strong tailwind pushing you toward your goal. Yes, with the guys at work, it can be fun and then not at all. It's tiring really so some days I just pull my head in and let it all go by without a comment. I think they feel my utter boredom then and it takes away from their fun. Guys are really like so many hot-air balloons. Wow, you have a house. That's cool. I too have more bills than married people with two or three kids because of my animals and the high upkeep costs. But that's my choice and I don't talk about it because most people think raising kids is somehow more important. I say it's not at all. We don't live in a country where they're trying to raise the population or make soldiers. It's their choice too. And a lot of our choices are linked to circumstance as well and decisions we made with what we saw in front of us and what we held in our hearts as being best for us. I have held out. Here, the pay scale is so lopsided, single women lowest, married guys highest. I have to find a way to get around it. Still thinking. Still hoping. I need a dose of courage.
feeling stuck still. . .
It takes me the first three full days of going "cold turkey" and then I start feeling more in control of my food....the first two weeks are the most difficult. I still crave things but it gets better daily. After two weeks it feels like a lifestyle again. And I'm usualy solid. I just played too much when I came back from vacation. Had wine too often, then dessert. Oh, and I tried to get rid of the rice cookies and rice ice cream and found that having no sweets at all in the house is pretty hard for me!! I ended up cheating on things that are bad for me - like peanut butter and honey. Peanut butter is full of hydrogenated oils - a HUGE cause of pain and swelling in the body! I don't touch the stuff, unless I have no other choice at all!! 
