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Old 02-15-2005, 03:39 PM   #31  
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I have to tell you about something my horse did yesterday that was just too cute. Sorry to sound like a gushing parent as your eyes glaze over but . . . I had cut up carrots and hung them in a bag next to her stall while I got ready with other stuff and before I picked out her hooves. I always do some stretches with her with the carrots before we head out to get tacked up. I don't think the stall door is usually closed but today I had left it open.

I wasn't away for long, but when I came back in and from the end of the row I see carrot slices strewn all around her stall! I called out her name in a stern voice and when I get to her stall she's up against the back wall looking at me like, "I don't know, it wasn't me. I've been back here all the time."

It was so funny that she thought I was going to get angry. I guess she knew she shouldn't have been trying to get that bag off the hook and eat the carrots! It must have been hard to do too because even with the door open there's a bar across the door and the hook is pretty far away. She must have really, really stretched and then to knock it off the hook too. Ah, it was funny. I just scolded her with my voice a bit but I certainly couldn't be angry. My fault for leaving them there and all and of course she's going to go after them. But that back against the wall!, so funny, so cute. She came forward when I went to pick up all the carrots in her stall and in front and then I said sternly, "Heidi, you're a bad girl!" and she went running off to the back of the stall again. Gosh, the way she reacted you'd think I was really mean to her which of course I'm not. She just must have thought she'd done a really naughty thing.

Ok, just thought I'd share. I will write about all your lovely responses in a bit. . . .

Crime girl! Where are you?

Last edited by redballoon; 02-15-2005 at 04:22 PM.
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Old 02-15-2005, 04:33 PM   #32  
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OK, this must be a record, four posts in a row. It's kind of sad, don't you think, that I'm sitting here writing to myself. No, just kidding. You guys are so sweet that I just love writing to you. It's like, someone actually cares. . . DON'T tell me if it's otherwise! The earthquake, my horse yesterday, these are my high points in my sorry life. Just kidding again! I love my horse too much I think. The reason it was so cute is that she seems like a very tough horse, very stubborn and headstrong but I have always felt she was very timid actually inside. It's just that she is smart and that's why she is difficult to ride. But she never does anything bad, has no bad habits. Actually, I am hoping to have her as a horse for handicapped people. I think she would be absolutely perfect! She is small, sturdy, has smooth gaits, is healthy, super gentle, is not taken to running off and she is soo cute that everyone just loves her (until they try to ride her) But I am trying to have her do things that are actually against what a disabled rider at low-levels needs, which is a horse that will just move slowly and one who is not spooky. Dressage is all about big movements. But I think she is smart enough to make the distinction and that she could in fact do both. I'm not trying to take her to high levels anyhow. She really looks at the rider and changes her response to "get away" with slacking if she can. I think she would understand there was a handicapped person on her back (other than me!) and would adjust her actions. Anyhow, sorry about that again. . . .going on about nondiet things too much. . . .

OK, well, it's morning and I'm just going to continue doing what was I doing and give it a little more push. I have not had sugar or three other high-calorie things I gave up for Lent now since last Wednesday, a week ago. The sugar is hard but there is no way I'll eat it. I got past Valentine's Day. This is not a hormonally challenging time of month, however. But, I have done this before so I absolutely know I can do it. Funny how past successes give you that sense of just "knowing" you can do it. Great stuff, that.

*********

grasshopper -- reading your post I once again realized just how hard you have it with the incredible amount of restrictions you're under. So, when you say, you're doing bad and cheating and all, it's on an entirely different level from what I may be doing when I'm "cheating," which is more like all stops pulled, bring on the laden wagons, this glutton is chowing down!! So, I really feel for you and all I can say is your "weakness" is just being normal. To do what you need to do to stay "on program" takes a **** of a lot of discipline. To then want to lose weight on top of that, well, that is superwoman stuff. In this way, maybe the pain is a good thing, well, in that it may prevent you from eating the things that give you pain, but wow, I can't really say much except maybe look at the things you CAN eat and try to come up with new and interesting ways of preparing them using new spices and so. I am slowly buying every spice there is and really getting into them. It's fun to use them too because most people, say, at work, are just buying stuff from the convenience store to eat and to be smelling herbs coming from the microwave from my food and saying I've used 10 different spices in the vegetable curry I've made is just sooo different.

No, not reading any motivating books. The scale is a problem but I think the reason I got here in the first place these past months was because I didn't get on the scale at all. I should have probably. As for the gym, my workload is unpredictable and so heavy that I can barely justify going to the gym. When I do go, I have this feeling of I shouldn't be, the same with riding. There is so much work sitting here to be done from the publisher's and I can't bring myself to do much of it. It's so boring and so tedious and involves more sitting, sitting, sitting. I want to scream. I hate writing! editing, proofreading. Rant, rant. And grass, you don't have to be creative to write. Anything is fine and you're ahead of me with the wall-hitting. You hit til the wall comes down. I hit till my head cracks!

stormy -- damn! I should have taken your advice. I thought I would stay away from the scale but then thought, I think I'll see a drop in the numbers, got on and they were UP! I almost smashed the thing.


to be continued. . .
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Old 02-15-2005, 05:22 PM   #33  
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There, I did a little bit of proofreading and my legs fell asleep and hurt so much. I am having circulation problems or nerve problems, I don't know, with my legs and this sitting on the floor at a low table is really bad for me but I don't have anything else and no space anywhere. There is no room on the computer table because of the big monitor and another computer. This is why I can't spend much time proofing. Really have to do something. You know, that guy in from Hokkaido sneered at the proofreading work and it really has made me hate this stuff even more. It is so NOT me but I have just learned to do this **** because it is work and I am good at it. I am good at a lot of things I don't like at all! More rants. Sorry guys, I am so pissed off at things these days. By the way, I got out a pair of pants that used to be loose on me and I could barely get them over my butt. It's amazing I could as they are not stretchy and that's another thing, this stretch material is killing me! I can ignore a gain in weight so easily. I should force myself to only wear stretchy stuff on "fat" days. OK, so I get these pants on and there is a handspread width between the two sides at the front. Damn! But I will use this pair as my measure, since it's not stretchy and because I can see me getting into them by Easter. . . stormy! did you hear that?!

Last edited by redballoon; 02-15-2005 at 07:36 PM.
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Old 02-15-2005, 09:12 PM   #34  
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Okay- I have not been on because I didn't want to bring anyone down and frankly I can ignore when I royally screw up because I am not forced to write about it. I am at wits end. My bf and I both just threw things out the window and ate ALL kinds of REALLY bad things for us. Burgers, candy, fries, big breakfast with fattening foods...etc..etc. I am really upset with myself and fear I will always look like a blimp. I don't want to be fat- I am good at saying that and meaning it until things go bad in my life. I have been under SO much stress lately that I fall under the delusion that I deserve to eat how I want because I am stressed and hate my life. Help!
I am sorry I haven't been responding to everyone but I am also thinking maybe I should turn the reigns of the board over to someone who is not such a screwup. Hate my body like this and have zero willpower to stop myself. Maybe I should get my mouth wired shut. Think that might help???

Now I feel guilty I have dumped all over everyone but didn't want anyone to think I am staying away because of anyone or anything said on the board.
I need to go now- sorry! Red- I am sorry there is such a lack of support. I am happy you are OK through the quakes. Be careful! Your horse story was cute by the way and made me laugh for the first time today so thanks.

Need to go study- have to work tomorrow and have a midterm next Tuesday!
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Old 02-15-2005, 10:17 PM   #35  
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Angry ok, you're askin' for it!

Okay, Crime girl, enough of your nonsense, take it from the biggest moaner on the board, if you think that was a "screwup" you are Little League! And if you think that was "dumping all over everyone" let me tell you that I have been holding back big time!

Oh, come on, stop with the "zero willpower," "I suck," "hate my body" (did I miss anything?) oh yes, "will ALWAYS look like a blimp." If you didn't screw up occasionally I don't think I would want to talk to you because I ain't supposed to meet saints till I get to the pearly gates and down here I kind of like someone I can identify with! If you aren't going to dump on us why would you be here on this forum and why would we be here? Do you think we're expecting to hear your life is great and you're losing weight every day and you and your boyfriend are in perpetual bliss. If we were we'd be chatting about our lobotomies not our problems! Zero willpower kind of people don't make time to study after working all day and "I suck," besides being a personal ad crowd pleaser, is a very relative term. Just who are you comparing yourself to? You better not hate your body because it's the only one you've got and it seems to be holding up well. And always a blimp? well, only if you have food orgies like every day now for the next few months, then I may start to worry. Like someone told me, it's just food, no big deal. You shoveled it in. It's over. You're not going to explode and it's not the end of things. It's just another day. Calm down. You don't have to run to the back of your stall and cower. We want you out here because we love you and we need you (and need more people to dump on too!) and we will have no one else as our leader so you better get your act together 'cause we know enough about you now thanks to your little questionnaire! ha! that we're goin' to come lookin' for you if you don't get your butt back here soon!! So THERE!
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Old 02-15-2005, 11:12 PM   #36  
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hi - looks like I missed a lot. Red - you really know how to write a pep talk!

Crime Girl - On and before Valentines day I had totino's pizza rolls, Ben and Jerry's chubby hubby - the whole thing - cheese sticks, mexican burrito roll things...all I know is they were fried. over the course of 4 days I had 4 bottles of wine...several other kinds of drinks....Cracker barrel...more ice cream, Wendy's value meals - supersized and all twice, mountain dews - enough to keep me awake for days!! And all the candy bars I could fit in my face!!!!! What I'm trying to tell you is I know what I feels like to feel so low because you can't stop putting food in your face. I work in a health food NUT HOUSE!!!! They know EVERY SINGLE time I cheat. I hate going there when I've cheated because I'm letting people down - the docs that treat me for free - the patients that see me as a rock they can get inspiration from......sometimes I just want to knock them off my table and say "It's my turn to cry and whine okay!! Not YOURS!!

I am not trying to say my situation is worse or anything CLOSE to that!! You are in the middle of a REALLY hard year - remember that!!!! I know what it feels like to get that frustrated with yourself, and feel that you've let everyone else down. No one here feels let down.

We want to be here for you - just like you're here for us!! And if that means we listen to you rant and rave all the time - that's what we do!!! You're not even CLOSE to that mark!!

My last year of school I gained 30 pounds, lived on valium, drank way more than I shoudl have and hid all of it but the weight because I was in school for a care taking job - and working in an alternative medicine meca! Add a drug addiction in there and I'd have been their version of an anti christ!! I'm so sorry things are stressful for you - but don't beat yourself up because life is incredibly stressful!! You're allowed to fall down - you're allowed to pig out sometimes and you're allowed to feel more stress than you thought possible and never want to come back to this board!!!!!!! You're allowed to feel all those things......but do me a favor - after you feel them...take deep breaths and pop in to see if anything we say makes you feel better. You deserve that!!

I am impressed with how much you deal with daily. I'm impressed with how well you handle the stresses that are constanly pushing you down while you try to climb high. I felt fat and ugly and like a total failure and still do a bit - after my vacation. We all do at times. You're not alone!!! And you can lose this weight - just like the rest of us!!! Like stormy said - sometimes things don't happen in our time......Breath - and then breath again.

We're here for you - no matter what. You're the perfect person to lead us. We don't want perfection - we want sincerity.
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Old 02-16-2005, 06:26 AM   #37  
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Thumbs up got to the gym again!!

OK, finishing my replies to everyone here. Shanberg, stormy and doinmybest, sorry for the lateness. It wasn't that I thought any less of your fantastic posts or anything. I was just writing away and ran out of time. Thank you SOOO much for all your help this morning. I tell you, it made all the difference to get up and read those messages from you. It really helped turn my day around I think. Thank you so so much.

shanberg -- "a great personality," "funny and smart"?!?! Wow, can I hire you Shannon. I need someone like you around me ALL the time. I will send you a monthly bank transfer if you just keep telling me things like this, OK? And, you had me laughing with your apologies. You don't have to tread easily with me, no walking on eggshells, in fact, you're welcome to throw eggs at me if you like. Then again, you were so sweet, maybe it is the best thing for me. . . yeah, I was really down and have been these past few days. I hear you on the on again off again dieting. And you're probably right, my body really, really knows how to put on fat. It's unbelievable really. You talk about splitting fat cells, 100, 200. I must have about 2 trillion of them! I mean, you should have seen pictures of me as a baby, we are talking ringlets of fat. I looked like a shar pei pup. (See photo below)

Actually, I don't know what's happening to tell the truth but the only way I've ever combatted my fat is through exercise. Nothing else seems to work for me. Well, thanks shan, for your kind words and encouragement. They really meant a lot to me.

stormy -- thank you so much as well. Like I said, I should have stayed away from the scale this morning but didn't. I got back on track though for a bit of exercise today though really, it's not all that much when I think of the hours I spend sitting around doing work. Yes, I hear you on the extra weight burdening the knees. And yes, Heidi, I'm sure would appreciate a lighter me. I owe it to her. Her knees I have to worry about. I did kind of want to go to Dubai but I'm OK with it now. I have to get things together a bit more here. It's too crazy, not having any money ever and then just hoping I'll make some connections. I think you're very right about me just having to put more effort into things. I thought about your saying you do it for yourself and that you HAVE to find time. I used to be like that and had gotten away from it recently. But, you're so right, I must do this. The problem is others use it against me, but I've learned to just keep quiet about it. I have you people to tell so that's more than enough!

doinmybest -- thanks you too. yes, I will love my body. I try to and usually do. It's me inside that I get down on. I am so glad you changed your mind about turning guys' heads and talking control of your life. You are an inspiration doinmybest, reminding us of all the things that are important. We have to shine on, right! Thanks for caring.

This here below is what I looked like at the age of 1 or so. Not nearly so cute though!

Last edited by redballoon; 07-23-2006 at 05:46 AM.
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Old 02-16-2005, 10:41 AM   #38  
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Morning!
Hope everyone is having a good day.

Red - You sound like you are feeling somewhat better. I am glad you finally poseted something about my earlier post. I was beginning to worry...I am glad I don't have to walk on eggshells. I just have to be careful because I can get really mouthy if I don't watch it!

Your story about Heidi in the stall was great! It reminded me of a story about my dog. He was part Golden Retriever and he loved water. He had a chain outside near my dad's work building. Several years ago, it rained and rained for like a week straight. There was water everywhere. I went out to check on him and could not believe what I saw...he had dug a hole big enough for his body to fit in. It had filled with water. He was in that hole just a bouncing around having the best time! I knew my dad would have a cow because the hole was so big (he was a big dog!). I went and got my mom and brother and we all stood at the edge of the house watching him play. When my dad got home, Buddy tried to jump out of the hole before he was caught, but he was so waterlogged and down in the hole he couldn't get out. My dad yelled out his name and by that time he had made it out of the hole. He looked at my dad with a look that said, "What are you yelling about...I didn't do anything!" He was covered in mud and water and just ran over to my dad like there was nothing wrong! It was soo funny. He knew he was in trouble, so he just pretended like nothing had happened. He wouldn't even walk over to the hole at all! Like it didn't exist! Animals are great! I can totally relate to your relationship with Heidi!

I can't believe you had a quake! I woulda been freaking out and running around yelling, "a quake, a quake!" Nothing like stating the obvious when you are in a panic!!!!

Don't worry about those pants. You will get back into them without any problems.

Little Grasshopper - Wow-you really had a great time on your mini vacation, huh!

How are you doing on your 3 day push? Are you hanging in there? Remember to just take it one meal at a time. If it gets to stressful, take a meal break and then jump back in.

Stormy - Thanks for the sweet words. I have really enjoyed being on this board. I really like everyone and am having a blast writing all the time! Hope things are going well for you.

Doinmybest - How are ya? How's the book going?

Crime Girl - Shame on you for thinking you could bring us down! You don't have to worry about that. I don't know if you all have noticed yet, but I tend to think I can fix everyone else and their problems. Not my own, mind you, but everyone else is fair game!

Okay, so you fell off the wagon....so what? It happens. You are under a great deal of stress at the moment. I am surprised you only fell off your diet wagon and haven't gone completely postal! You have nothing to apologize for. WE all have been there!

I lurked on this website for a very long time before I choose a group to join...yours. I read your posts and really liked the comraderie and support. I read a LOT of threads and yours was the best. You all do a great job including personal info and still remain on topic of weight loss. There are a lot of other threads that seemed to want to talk about anything but weight issues.

You don't have to hide. We will never judge you. I might fuss at you and give you a scolding, but I will never judge or talk down to you. You are a great motivator and thread leader. You can't abdicate! Sorry, no one else wants the job!

Here is what I am thinking. I think you are putting WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF!!! You want to lose for graduation and everytime you fall off the wagon your guilt is doubled. You need to stop that immediately! It is okay to slip..and it is okay to slip big time!!! Those slips are what motivate us to keep moving. Maybe you were being too strict on yourself and that is why you caved...your body was telling you something was up and you need to rework your eating. PM your email address. I will send you my diet sheets. I eat what I want when I want. I just count calories. Pick your number and then eat to that number. When I first started, I wasn't sure I could do it. It was a lot like counting points with weight watchers. But, after a while, it got easier and easier. Since I was counting everything I was eating, I didn't feel guilty about eating it. Yesterday, I ate a half a bagel with a half a tablespoon of peanut butter for breakfast and 14 baked lays for lunch...I left work early to get my taxes done and knew I'd be near fast food. I then had points to go get me something. I ate Zaxby's. I still stayed within my points b/c I ate so little during the morning hours. I also know that if I don't eat a big meal in the evening, I will snack all night long. So, I eat small, lite meals throughout the day so I can eat a big meal at nite. These are just some tricks I have learned to help me with my weight loss. That is what you need to do. Make mental notes of what works best for you.

I know that there are some people who can diet 24/7. They eat healthy every single meal! Have you ever read one of the food threads on here? Some of the things people eat are amazing to me. There is no way in hades I could eat those things...especially every meal! I know my limitations and weaknesses. I just accept them and work around them. I have slowly changed them and shaped them. Example, I used to buy a large chicken finger meal at Zaxbys. Now, I buy the regular. I am almost at the point to where I can eat the snack and be full. Small steps. Do I still order the large...heck yea! Sometimes I even eat it all! But its okay. It's a work in progress. That's what dieting really is. It is never ending. Check out the maintainers thread if you think it is. Even though they have reached their goal, they are still fighting the fight!

So, what am I saying...you fell off the wagon and tripped the horse. You know what you did wrong. Get over it. Move on. Its okay. Stop beating yourself up about it. Lose the guilt. Stop apologizing. Take a breath and start over. Only, start smaller. Make small changes. And, most importantly, DON'T HIDE!! How can we help you if you don't tell us what is wrong? This thread works both ways. You don't have to be perfect...just be here.

Okay, I've said enough.

Will check back in later....
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Old 02-16-2005, 02:43 PM   #39  
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Hi everyone.

CG-do not feel bad about what you ate. Everyone breaks down and eats like that sometime. It is okay. Just get back on track. People are so hard on themselves. I hate to see that. So what, you messed up-you will get back on track and you will lose the weight. I ate two pieces of chocolate cake yesterday. It was my hubby's bosses birthday and so he brought home the cake. I could have just had one piece but no I had two. Oh well. I worked my butt off working out today and I am not going to let myself feel guilty. If you deny yourself too much you are bound to cheat and sometimes the cheating goes overboard. There is no need to look back it is over and done. CG, I know exactly how it is to be under tremendous pressure. I know that you will get through this. Forgive yourself!

Shan-Goldies are my favorite dogs. I want one but I have three cats and I am way to busy to give a dog attention. You are so tight about small steps. Everything should be done in small steps.

Red-do not worry about what are people think. Really, who cares what other people think? You need to do this for yourself. Did you make it to the gym today? I hope that you are trying to stay away from the scale. This is an example of how evil the scale is. I weighed myself Monday for my Valentine's Day Challenge. Since I began my Easter challenge yesterday I decided to weigh myself. Guess what I gained 4 pounds b/t Monday and Tuesday. The scale lies so do not believe it.
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Old 02-16-2005, 03:03 PM   #40  
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Hi, Stormy!

You have three cats? Wow! That's cool. I like kittens, but not cats. Weird, huh?

How was the cake? It's TOM for me and I am really wanting chocolate right now! Lucky for me, the snack machine is broken, so no cheating for me!!!

Are you the one that does Tae Bo? My brother just bought the new dvds...something about a bootcamp workout? It had a meal plan, an exercise plan, three dvds, resistance bands, and dog tags(no idea). He is totally psyched about it! He used to do Hapkido, so I think this will be good for him.

You are right about those scales...they are evil with their own agenda! You can meet your Easter goal! I will even join your crusade...what is the challenge? Maybe between you, me and red we can all drop some weight in time for the big Easter binge!

Have a great afternoon.

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Crime Girl, where are you? Are you okay?

Tootles.
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Old 02-16-2005, 03:42 PM   #41  
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Hey everybody! I am so excited today! I am packing and getting ready to go to Belgium tomorrow. I'll be having a week vacation with my darling boyfriend. He's in a tizzy, he worries too much.

So I am going to go play all week and see old builings and art museums. Yay! I'll tell you all about it when I get back!


CG- yes, it's disappointing to be weak and do the thing that you don't want to do...But I try to tell myself, 'perfection is not required, but persistence is'

My kitty will miss me.
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Old 02-16-2005, 04:12 PM   #42  
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Smile I'm going to do this!!!

Morning all. Will try to type fast as I have to get going. I spend so much time on this forum but it IS most definitely worth it. Thank God for ADSL. Before I used to have a dialup connection and it was so expensive and bothersome.

shanberg -- I'm so sorry I didn't get right back to you yesterday but I didn't want to just say thanks and then run off and I typed so much that I ran out of time and had to put off replying to everyone. I tend to be from methodical because I don't want to miss people. I feel bad when I've typed a ton and then get no comment on it. Actually, though, other times I'm glad people have just let all the blabber go by. You will know me better the more you write, Shan, although hearing as you were a longtime lurker! you probably should already. I think people should be generally less touchy. It's arrogant and egoistic to be touchy about what people say to you, I think. Be glad people bother to talk to you at all is my philosophy. It's like here, people are the champion eggshell walkers of the world and I think it leads to enormous and serious problems. You get people unable to express their emotions, no, unable even to FEEL their emotions and then on the flipside you get a lot of talking behind one's back, backstabbing and a general malaise of passiveness. That I think is the worst. People don't DO anything. They have to follow others. This is the land of no initiative. This is one of the things I love about Americans. They are (or as I remember them) still relatively awake, or willing to be. They still have a good bit of curiosity about life.

Loved your dog story. Animals know what they want and try to get it. I hate to see the way people here relate to horses and animals in general. With the horses especially, they are always trying to shut them up, never communicate, never listen to what they're trying to say and eventually the horses stop trying to talk. I see the horses come in from Europe and they are dying for someone to talk to. Most Japanese think of them, well, as they do their children, put them in a mold, tell them not to stray from it, and don't try to ever talk with them. It is rare to find people who have explored their thoughts and feelings enough to be at all interesting. They like me because I am "so frank" but really I am much more reserved than most Westerners. The older I get though, the more I say.

I have four cats, by the way, shan. I can understand your liking kittens but not cats. They are very different at first glance, but once you get to know them, you'll see they're not really. And all animals will reflect their owners if they have been with them long enough and not traumatized or deeply influenced by someone else from an early age.

Quakes we have all the time. I'd look like an idiot if I panicked about them anymore. But inside, I am panicking big time! All of Japan has tremors constantly. The other day I was at the stable when all of a sudden all the horses (about 25) kind of startled in the barn. My horse was in the wash rack and she startled too. I couldn't feel anything but one of the stall doors was open and started banging so I figured it was a tremor. I went inside the club house and turned on the TV and sure enough there had been a tremor. They immediately put the report on of how big it was and where it was centered and if there is danger of a tsunami. Since Japan is surrounded by ocean there is always danger of tsunami for the coastal areas. A couple years ago, a whole little town was wiped out up on the north island of Hokkaido by a tsunami. Of course, we all know about the recent one. Japan is up on report and warning systems for them that's why they offered to help. Unfortunately, tsunamis are really rare in that area. That's why they was so much devastation. People didn't realize what could happen.

So, shan, how was your weigh-in? It sounds like you are doing great with your steps and eating less, working on things you can change without putting on too much pressure. Keep it up! You're doing great!

stormy -- Hi there. Yeah, the scale, obviously it is just registering water weight with you, there's no way you've gained four pounds. You have the incentive of actually having gotten so near your challenge goal for VDay. You'll do it for Easter. I did get to the gym yesterday. Didn't do all that much except the weights, which was chest and back and I do go heavy with that. I got on the bike for 15 because I figured my knees needed the rest. That makes it four days straight to the gym! At all hours too, straight after riding twice, once early morning before work and yesterday after other work but not late. I feel tighter. I am really like a rock with all this padding on me. I look in the mirror and see the fat but know there's a ton of muscle under it and I just think I have to melt the fat off the top. Instead of getting down about looking like a hulk, which I do, get down about it AND look like a hulk because I'm strong, I have to realize that the fat is from my weeks of slothful ways, NOT what I'm doing NOW. I tend to do well and then see the fat and get discouraged. . . like it was going to disappear all of a sudden just because I've gotten my sorry butt to the gym for a few days! Thanks for your encouragement storm!

doinmybest -- have fun on your trip! Take care and come back and tell us everything!

Crime Girl, grass, NBK, kjk, Jacque, anyone I've forgotten! looking forward to hearing from you real soon!!

Last edited by redballoon; 02-16-2005 at 04:19 PM.
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Old 02-16-2005, 04:26 PM   #43  
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Default Okay...okay...

I admit it - I freaked out and frankly I am still freaked. Thanks for all the kind words- they help more than you can possibly know. You all had some good points and I think maybe I am sabatoging myself by expecting perfection in my diet routine. I will try to give myself some breathing room and chill out a tad. Thats from me to you because you guys keep me in line and I can see a glimmer of hope even when I am at my lowest.
I can only be on for a minute- I have a midterm next Tuesday and need to study like a fiend until it is over. Sorry I am not responding to each of you. I hope you are all doing great and life is treating you well. I may not be on much until next Wed but I am fine and will try to get back on track and back in a tolerable mindset.
Need to go- thank you all!
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Old 02-16-2005, 04:44 PM   #44  
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Default One last check in...

Jumped on for one last check in before I head out.

Doinmybest - Belguim!! Wow!! That sounds great! Try to remember everything and give us the 411 when you get back! Bring your kitty a present back since he (she?) will be so miserable without you!! Have fun and be safe!

Crime Girl - Glad you posted a quickie! I was a little worried you had decided to hibernate in the sand! Glad you are at least a little more calm! Hang in there with the studying. Good luck on your exam!!

Red - You are da bomb, girl! You are so great! I cannot believe you live where there are quake tremors and threats of tsunami's!!! I can't wait to tell people I talk to someone that lives in Tokyo!!!!

I am glad you are so good to your horse (and the others, too, I am betting!!). I am like you. I hate it when people get animals, then treat them so terribly. And I don't just mean abuse! Animals are smart. They love people and communicate in their own way. I hate it when people ignore that, or, like you said, try to break them of that! What's the point in having an animal if you aren't going to bond with it???

And you are right about animals taking on their owners personalities!! My dog would tell on me! Actually tell and try to get me in trouble!! I'd tease him with his treats and he'd look at my mom, bark once, look at me, look back at my mom and bark again. He'd keep doing that until she got on to me! It was so weird!!!

Your work environment sounds dreadful. I am not sure I could work there. Then again, I did work at Wal-Mart for five years! There was definate backstabbing, backtalking, and some undbelieveable vendictiveness...and those were just the employees!!! No wonder you have so much stress over your job!

I was thinking earlier about what you said when you are proofing and have to sit in the floor. I saw on tv an advertisement for this tray that you can adjust. It has special legs that slide under the chair you are sitting in so you can use it anywhere. I think it is 20 or 30 dollars, but the offer was you buy one and get another one free (plus shipping and handling). If I see the commercial again, would you like me to write the info down? Is that something you'd be interested in?

I haven't weighed since Monday. I only weigh once a week. I'd go crazy if I weighed every day! I think I am doing okay. My eating is pretty good. It always gets pretty bad during TOM, but I try to keep it under control if I can!!!

Okay, guess that is enough for now. Will be back tomorrow. Hope everyone has a great afternoon!!!!

Tootles
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Old 02-16-2005, 04:49 PM   #45  
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Crime girl, yeah!! glad to hear from you! Hang in there, kid, you can do it all!!

Shanberg, you are the sweetest!! You make me laugh you're so sweet. How have you ever survived in this cruel world!! Take care and I'll write more later. Off to the horses.
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