Good morning, people. I am forcing myself to write on here. I say "forcing" because you're all so motivated sounding and I'm not at all. My saying I will and everything is just me going through the motions. I feel absolutely nothing but this horrible feeling of I "should" be doing something but have no desire whatsoever. Oh well, big sigh, I hate this weather. It's so cold and I hate the cold and January and February are just the worst here. I need the warmth I've decided. I don't need cold, what for? Sure, if I were at a ski resort or something maybe but even that, yuck, who needs it.
I didn't get the bike uncovered. It involves a lot more than getting it uncovered. There is no room for it in my room and I have to make room but to do that will take a lot of time and I really don't know how to do it. You know, this is the biggest problem. I read Crime girl's questions but I don't really know how to answer them. This is the problem. I don't know what I want to do. Otherwise I would do it or try to do it. How can someone be so without a clue? Is that possible?
I'm thinking the whole idea of "support systems" other than such wonderful people like you all, is what is lacking in my life. I feel like in a vacuum, where nothing outside my life supports the one thing I DO know I would like, which is the sleek, lean, athletic body, with that slightly hungry look, no pasty skin, no sags. Ah, maybe not possible any longer but still I could do better than now. I've seen it and it has slipped away. I need the sunshine. I need the warmth! Help!
I am like my cats. They do nothing buy lie around seeking warmth. That is exactly how I feel. I so hate the cold. Ok, shut me up! You know it feels good to say these things. It really feels good. Maybe I have to start saying them more often, really find out what I don't like and then I can start finding out what I DO like. Maybe that is where I have to start. What do you think, resident shrinks and life counselors?
Ok, taking a look at you chatty bunch. What fun do see all your posts!
Jacque -- You are doing so well. I am impressed in a major way. Don't worry about losing your enthusiasm (did you write that here or on the other thread?) Yeah, you probably will, if you're human, you are human, right? But so what, that's the way it works. You get it. You lose it. You get it back again. I'm in between the second and the last of those.
Sitting on a fitness ball sounds good. I have one I never use. But, my cats would have their claws in it in no time. Maybe I could just bring it out when I'm using it so I could ward them off, the little devils!
stormy -- I wish I had seen your post before I left for work yesterday. I would have taken my gym things with me. As it was, I felt so disgusted with myself all day that I didn't do anything but eat when I got home, or rather, I continued eating after I got home. I have this all or nothing mentality and you can see which one wins out more. In fact, my present depression is, I think, from mostly exhaustion. IN the summer I was in **** with work and I was working out like a mad woman (uh oh!) and drinking tons of caffeine and I think I exhausted my entire system. My legs starting going numb. I couldn't feel much at all. They are still bad but much better. This is putting a damper on my jogging as well because I used to really get going once I got warmed up. This is one reason I wanted to cut back on the coffee because I know it is so bad on your adrenal glands. That, mixed with the angry adrenal rush I was experiencing every time I went into the office and often at home due to emails and phone calls, combined to I think really mess with my system. Anyhow, got off track there. Stormy, yes, I have to try to balance things more. By the way, I love the way you keep track of kjk and Crime girl's challenge!
I haven't forgotten our challenge. I have to get under 70 kg. by Valentine's Day. That's going to be a real chore and I wonder if it's even possible anymore. But I can certainly get closer, can't I?
NBK -- I spent time looking up maps of New Zealand last night and I found New Plymouth and was looking at the time zones. I see you're right on the date line. It seems that there are some time zones that are by the half hour, no? NZ is not really that much further east than Japan but there are lots of time zones and so the difference of 4 hours is so great. Or is it 5? Japan is pretty big but only has one time zone and there is no daylight savings time here. But if you have it that should mean you are actually closer in time to us in the winter, right? Hmm, complicated.
I am glad to have someone who knows horses and knows about cold-bloods. People here don't understand them or even warmbloods for that matter and it's sad because they just tend to think of them all as stubborn and get angry and give up on them and that of course only makes things worse. I respect a horse's personality and intelligence a lot. Have you read Podjasky's books? (not sure of the spelling) I love those books and I love the way his teachers would tell him the horse has to teach you how they want to be ridden. This is the way I feel it is with my horse. It's not that she is so stubborn or uncooperative as everyone says. She has a way of being and you have to learn to learn that and work with it. If people would learn to do this they would become such better riders, true horsemen and women. But here, they blame it on the horse and move on to another. It's so stupid. No wonder there are very, very few good Japanese riders. I think I would love to be in France or Portugal riding Lusitanos or something, if even just to feel there were others like me, who understand what I'm talking about and wishing for. Ah, ha! something I want to do!
Crime girl - I didn't mean you were "pushy!" Not push, you are relentless, exacting and focused, never losing sight or allowing us to lose sight of our goals, our reasons for doing things! I need but fear such people in my life! Don't change!
What is this "Desperate Housewives" thing? It sounds horrible! It sounds like the spam I get all the time in my email. Horrible stuff and recently it's about housewives looking for "action." I did a story yesterday at work on the People's Choice Awards. Headline, three pix, have no idea what any of these shows are about. I am culturally ******ed, well, U.S. pop culture that is, yes, and I think there was some mention of Desperate Housewives. I see other people tuning in to it on other threads. Please clue me in so I can disguise the fact when I am in the States that I have just beamed in from a distant planet!
Ok, I have to get some breakfast and continue this later. grass, kjk, michi, anyone I missed, I will be back!
Oh, by the way, the header I wrote is talking about my lifestyle, my habits (the bad ones). I am so sick of them!
omg
this all has got to go. . .
