Horse moved yesterday. I rode in the van with her part of the way. She never found her legs. I think it must have been exhausting for her. She's at the new place and I'm worried sick. It's SO different from where she's been. I just have to keep hoping things will work out for the better. It's SO hard for me to get to this place. I am worried sick these days.
Gotta run. Just wanted to let you know I'm here.
Coming home on the train from way north of Tokyo, there were four suicides on three different lines, including mine, but I made it home with only a bit of delay. Three were already being reported when I got on the train and one happened along the way. It's SO depressing, but hard times have boosted suicides WAY, WAY up. It's already over 30,000 a year in Japan. Is that depressing or what?
Last edited by redballoon; 01-27-2010 at 06:30 PM.
Horrendous figures Red, but you can not take it personally and try to help every man and his dog. You have to look at what you can do for you and then the surrounding countryside. Hope the horse comes through the changes and you get to like the place where she now is.
Red - That's just AWFUL about the suicides! 30,000 per year! Don't let that get you down. You can't take it personally. I couldn't have said it any better than Shad. Everyone goes through rough patches, but the key is to move forward and get through them. I hope you and the horse quickly become acclimated and happy with where she is. Sending you LOTS of
Shad - I hope the d*ckwits get a clue soon.
Marcia - Thanks for catching my typo. But if the truth be told, since I achieve more success and insight through tracking my food, I will likely have to keep doing it for the next 145 days and probably the next 1,450 days as well.
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I was really tired last night, and not feeling well. I had to run out and get a few quick groceries for dinner. Then by the time I got dinner started, I was too tired and nauseous to even do a bit of Wii Fit, so I took the night off and relaxed.
So I took a pause on my exercise challenges, but I got my eating/water challenges done.
Journal everything AND count WW points - 0 pauses allowed - Day 16 completed
64 ounces of water - 0 pauses allowed - Day 16 completed
Stay within WW points - 3 pauses allowed - Day 16 completed
5 servings of fruits and veg - 3 pauses allowed - Day 16 completed
1/2 hour cardio - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 15 completed
50 crunches - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 15 completed
Well, I have to go back and write in my challenge log. That still counts with me, as long as I put something in for the days.
Feeling very irritated with life and myself for not being able to get things in hand, "things" meaning money.
Know hard work is the key but because I can't find any, I've been floundering. But, I'm thinking that "hard work" can also be in the realm of discipline, exercise and eating habits. So, I'm going to attempt to crack the whip again on myself.
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Shad -- Oh, don't worry. I certainly don't take the massive numbers of suicides here personally. If someone wants to top himself, that is his choice. The "getting me down" part is more just having to be confronted CONSTANTLY, every damn morning by suicide notices and delays on the train. It's being faced with the actions of people I know nothing about and yet having to be personally affected by it all. I don't mean that in a harsh way. It's a shame that they took things into their own hands. Maybe my strict Catholic upbringing, in which we were told we have NO right to kill ourselves and that suicide is a mortal sin, is coming through. In Japan, there is no stigma against suicide. As you all know, it is in fact, as history has shown, a bit of an honor in many situations. I see suicides on the train tracks in particular, since it affects SO many people, to be an act of violence against the innocent.
Thanks for the wishes for the horse. I saw her yesterday, only briefly. I am really disgusted with the whole thing. I hope things can work out.
Message on my phone yesterday from people at the old club saying how sad they were my horse was gone. Yes, I am sad too and the whole thing just made me cry after a long day yesterday.
diyana -- Yeah, the suicide thing (see reply to Shad). Yesterday morning again. It's early. I am moving through mobs of people going to work and feeling very tired and weak (cat is keeping me awake all night) and then am yet again confronted with suicide notices. Luckily, it wasn't my train line. I understand why people take this easy way out. They simply want a release. I want a release. I'm not taking it and that's what makes me angry with them. I am not feeling sorry for them. Perhaps it sounds heartless. I don't know. But, that's the truth of it.
Thanks for the wishes too. I am afraid I got myself into a lousy place, one that has NO money and is inundated with the volunteer mind, which can seem nice at first but doesn't really help anyone in the end if they can't afford to be volunteers themselves.
On another front, I am being constantly asked to do more volunteer work for an animal welfare group I helped when I was at the paper. I have asked for some payment, some regular work with payment, even if the pay is low, but my requests are ignored, yet they continue to ask for more help with rewriting, polishing and copy writing. I finally put my foot down though it means I risk not having the support of the group should I find a homeless, helpless animal that I just must help but would be hard put to on my own. But, I feel I am truly being put upon by these people. They are too used to exploiting the goodness in people and using that to deal with the bad side of others. Such groups have to learn to operate more as a business, especially in a country such as Japan, where corporate benevolence and private donations are not common practice. Something is not right with the whole equation.
Last edited by redballoon; 01-28-2010 at 05:16 PM.
Feeling a LOT better. Saw my horse today and she had an exciting race around the new place's arena. She looked exhilarant!
Two more jumpers stopped two more train lines on my way back. Ok, I will stop with the suicide reports.
Happy Friday (or Happy Saturday for Red and Shad)!
Red - Good for you for keeping up with your journal. You are going through an extremely tough time in your life, and to be able to thing of good things and write them down is a credit to you! It's all fine and good to return to the discipline of healthy eating and exercise, but don't crack the whip too hard. Be kind to yourself, okay? Good for you for letting yourself have a good cry of release. And I've TOTALLY been where you are in terms of volunteerism. I did volunteer website work for a non-profit for many years. Then, as money started getting tighter, I had to take on paying clients and more paying clients until finally something had to give. I explained the situation to the non-profit - that I had to spend my time on paying clients and would come back when I had more time available. The founder had become and still is a dear, dear friend, and she understood. Good luck with that situation. Your number one priority has to be to yourself...your physical, emotional and financial health. Volunteerism is wonderful...but sometimes other things in life have to take precedence. I am soooo, soooo happy to hear your horse is doing well at the new place! I could almost see her running happily around! Big hugs to you my friend.
Shad - I know you're crazy busy and have spotty internet availability. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope that you're doing well.
Marcia - How are you doing? Did you get the cold front in Houston? It was 1 degree when I left the house this morning, with a -10 windchill.
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I had a great strength training class that kicked my butt, followed by a really, really fun Zumba class. The entire class enjoys it...so much so that we make requests for certain songs/dances! It's a blast! I had a decent weigh in yesterday. I was down 0.2 lb which is not nearly as much as I would've liked, but a loss is a loss. And since I have no plans for big fattening dinners this week like I had last weekend, I should do better.
I'm scheduled to donate blood in about 1/2 hour at a work-sponsored blood drive. Hopefully my iron count will be high enough for me to donate. After that, I'll be counting down the hours 'till the weekend!
Okay. I wasn't able to donate because my iron count was just a teeny bit too low. I was really bummed out and wanted to comfort myself with some of the cafeteria's delicious bread pudding that they hardly ever make but made this morning. Bread pudding is my absolute all time favorite treat, making it extremely hard to resist. Luckily, when I went to the cafeteria to get more water, coffee and, yes, bread pudding, there were two women from my WW at work group who have both been extremely successful (they've lost like 30-40 lbs each so far) and they do it by staying OP. I went up to one of them and said, "I'm sooo glad you're here at this moment." She said, "You were going to be bad weren't you." I told her I was up here for the bread pudding. She suggested other alternatives, but none sounded as good. So I got my water and coffee and went back to my desk, where I took out a Fiber One Peanut Butter bar. I'm enjoying that right now and it's very yummy. And it's 2 points as opposed to 13!!
A long day and very little accomplished. My gosh, things just seem to get worse.
Thanks, diyana, for your kind and supportive words. They are very nice to read and I am grateful. Thank you so much.
Red - I consider you a friend and I care. I am hoping and praying that things get better for you. But until they do, know that you are not alone. You do have people who care about you and are here for you.
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I realize that I forgot to post my challenge tracking yesterday. And today, I am tired and sore. I did an intense, fast-paced hour long Zumba class (twice as long as the class I usually do) followed by 1/2 hour of strength training. I hope I can keep my eating good today...usually when I work out this much, I'm hungrier all day long. I've got lots of website work to do this weekend, so I'm glad I got my exercising out of the way early.
Journal everything AND count WW points - 0 pauses allowed - Day 18 completed
64 ounces of water - 0 pauses allowed - Day 18 completed
Stay within WW points - 3 pauses allowed - Day 18 completed
5 servings of fruits and veg - 3 pauses allowed - Day 18 completed
1/2 hour cardio - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 17 completed
50 crunches - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 17 completed
Again, for the record because I've been lax about reporting where I am on my challenge...
I completed my Good Things Log challenge and will say I immediately started another round. So, here's the tally. From today, the goal is also to at least write something ON the day, not later, which I was allowing previously.
Good Things Log Challenge Round 2 Day 3 completed 0 pauses taken
Thank you, diyana. That is very sweet of you.
Last edited by redballoon; 01-30-2010 at 04:47 PM.
Well I have a new internet connection which will allow me a fair amount of freedom on the computer again. So I will need to think up some challenges which will fit with my new lifestyle down here. I'll be back with them soon. My constant companion down here seems to be constipation. Sorry if that is too much information. I'll have to make a concerted effort to fix that and soon. Not sure what it going to take as I am pretty good with food and vegetables especially these days, but something is causing it and I need to know what it is.
Red - difficult to try and sort something out for you to help you get over the hurdles in your life. It's obviously very difficult for you, and telling you that something will come up is not going to ease the misery. This is Japan we are talking about. Jobs will go to the Japanese first. And you have some responsibilities such as the cats and the horse. And at this point in time, I think you are so far down the depression track that you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and if you did, you might think it was a train coming straight at you. Bad analogy but there you go. Is Japan still shedding staff in the workplace? Is that the reason for the multiple suicides? Times must be tough over there and unfortunately, the young people (Y Generation mostly) are not strong enough in the mind to have plan B or have a plan at all. Live for the time - or as my step nephew says ' here for a good time, not for a long time'. A truly horrible mantra. Have we failed them so much that they have no ambition or competitiveness. Get off the Shad.
Time to go eat, and then go out to see what is out there. I think I will take the car and just drive into the hills. See what's out there.
Red - Good for you for completing the Good Things Log challenge, and for continuing it. Thinking/remembering the positive things is always good.
Shad - So happy for you that you have a better internet connection! As for your "constant companion", I'm sure stress has something to do with that, and there's probably no relief to that in sight. In the meantime, can you get any high fiber foods where you are, or are you already enjoying those types of foods. Hope you had a nice drive in the hills.
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I'm a little sore today, but not as bad as I thought. I'm also tired and would rather be sleeping still, but I've got website work to do for a few hours and then I'll do a bit of Wii Fit.
Journal everything AND count WW points - 0 pauses allowed - Day 19 completed
64 ounces of water - 0 pauses allowed - Day 19 completed
Stay within WW points - 3 pauses allowed - Day 19 completed
5 servings of fruits and veg - 3 pauses allowed - Day 19 completed
1/2 hour cardio - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 18 completed
50 crunches - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 18 completed
Quiet weekend here...I hope everyone is doing well, both in general and on our challenges!
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I'm still feeling a bit of soreness/stiffness from Saturday's workout, and going up and downstairs yesterday for laundry. But I managed 40 minutes of step aerobics yesterday on the Wii Fit, and tonight will be 1/2 hour of Zumba. I was going to do strength training and two 1/2 hour long Zumba classes...but I think my body will likely tell me that one class is plenty for today along with my crunches, of course.
Journal everything AND count WW points - 0 pauses allowed - Day 20 completed
64 ounces of water - 0 pauses allowed - Day 20 completed
Stay within WW points - 3 pauses allowed - Day 20 completed - thank heavens for the extra weekly points - I seem to use a lot of them on the weekends!
5 servings of fruits and veg - 3 pauses allowed - Day 20 completed
1/2 hour cardio - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 19 completed
50 crunches - 1 pause taken - 2 pauses left - Day 19 completed
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It's all fine and good to return to the discipline of healthy eating and exercise, but don't crack the whip too hard. Be kind to yourself, okay? Good for you for letting yourself have a good cry of release. 
Big hugs to you my friend. 
I was really bummed out and wanted to comfort myself with some of the cafeteria's delicious bread pudding that they hardly ever make but made this morning. Bread pudding is my absolute all time favorite treat, making it extremely hard to resist. Luckily, when I went to the cafeteria to get more water, coffee and, yes, bread pudding, there were two women from my WW at work group who have both been extremely successful (they've lost like 30-40 lbs each so far) and they do it by staying OP. I went up to one of them and said, "I'm sooo glad you're here at this moment." She said, "You were going to be bad weren't you." I told her I was up here for the bread pudding. She suggested other alternatives, but none sounded as good. So I got my water and coffee and went back to my desk, where I took out a Fiber One Peanut Butter bar. I'm enjoying that right now and it's very yummy. And it's 2 points as opposed to 13!!
Shad.
