Well, I'm paying the consequences for my binge yesterday. It was awful and I feel awful. I am killing everything that hasn't fallen anyhow and just keeping the three I've stayed strong with, booze, smokes and caffeine. I'll regroup and be back with new challenges soon.
No alcohol (round 2, 1 pause on round 1) -- Day 6 completed 0 pauses taken
No smoking (round 2, 3 pauses on round 1) -- Day 5 completed 0 pauses taken
Caffeine Cut (Round 3!) -- Day 15 completed 0 pauses taken
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Sara -- Thanks for your post. Unfortunately, as you can see, it preceded an imminent fall. This is what happens to me. I have no sticking power, no faith, all I do is come back time and time again. It's not enough. I can't be undoing all my work over and over again. True, it may keep me in the same place as opposed to my gaining more and more weight but it's undoubtedly just as disheartening, if not more. I try and fail and that eats away at my confidence more perhaps than not trying.
An interesting way of looking at things may be: NOT, why can't I lose weight, BUT, why am I so good at staying overweight? I feel awful, really, really awful, like there is NO hope.......
Day 10 I blew. Just a stupid rush of the blood to the head and the thought of hot dogs for lunch (but they were good - I just didn't have to eat so many)
So pause day all around. I did exercise, but it wasn't good stuff and after the day before I am not counting it.
1300 daily calorie limit - 2 pauses
Exercise - 30 per day - 2 pauses
Water - 1 litre of the pure stuff per day - 2 pauses.
And just because today is what is and because I can, I'm giving you all a rose for the Sunday good deed. I'm into good deeds today for some reason.
Oh and Red, ask the sister politely for t-shirts, caps or socks. I'd send you something but I don't know where you live. Red Balloon, Tokyo on the envelope just doesn't cut it somehow. I've never managed to work out how they organise addresses either. Here have another pic of the rose.
Ok, I'm feeling a LOT better now. As I was hoping (and mentioned yesterday) I think I can use yesterday's sugar binge to stop wanting to eat sugar. It was NOT worth it. It 1) stopped my weight loss 2) made me feel awful 3) made my health worse and 4) made me feel like a failure.
Do I need or desire ANY of the above. No! And yet, I got all four of them. How stupid are we? (that's me and my other personalities). Huh? How stupid? NOT stupid enough to keep doing this. So there!
Well, I got out riding and rode in incredible heat. Now back home and going to get this big A to the gym. You bet!
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Shad, Stop standing on your head and the blood won't rush to it! I know you live Down Under and all, but you don't have to take it literally. And I thought Kiwis were a bit smarter anyhow, no? Hot dogs? You've got to go veg, Shad, think of the poor dogs!
Anyhow, joking aside, we're off the pauses, both of us, so let's make some tracks! Thanks for the rose, the TWO roses! I think Red Balloon, Tokyo would work. I'm quite well known, you know. And come on, I'm not going to ask my sister for T-shirts, caps and socks! You are too, too funny. You see, I LIKE the licorice and other unmentionable retro-style junk. We've been through this. It didn't cause my binge, it only heightened it. (the after-effects were the same though ) Don't worry. There's certain things in life you just do NOT give up.
Sorry for your bad eating day, Red and Shad. But hey, we all have bad days, right?! As long as we have many good days, a bad day here and there shouldn't hurt.
Remember to take it one day at a time...one week at a time...slowly we will get there!
1.Exercise Daily - DAY 3
2.Eat 1300 calories or less - DAY 3
3.NO eating past 7pm - DAY 3
4. NO desserts - DAY 3
Not making any commitments right now. It's hard to believe that I've cut caffeine for nearly two months (well, it doesn't sound so long when I say it like that ). It's been tough. Not only because it left me dragging but because so much of time out and about in the city or meeting friends means I want to "go for a coffee." I just can't justify paying a lot for a cup of hot water with a tea bag thrown in it but that's usually what it amounts to, or having to ask if the juice is 100 percent. Besides, I don't like drinking juice....
I was thinking about it the other day. The city is packed with places to 1) eat meat 2) drink alcohol 3) drink coffee 4) eat sweets. With all these things cut out of my life, I may as well not be here!
I'm looking for a good vegetarian place now and everything is SO pricey and it looks like they spend more time worrying about whether it's organic or not, or just serving up some little work of art that leaves you HUNGRY.
I remember eating in some veg place in Seattle, hearty meals of beans and rice. It was SO good and cheap! I wonder why this kind of place doesn't exist around here (or much of anywhere for that matter). Sigh. Feeling very left out these days.
And I'm also not finding the joy of being (I guess) healthier without the regular doses of booze, cigs and coffee. Perhaps it truly is time to get out of Tokyo....
No alcohol (round 2, 1 pause on round 1) -- Day 7 completed 0 pauses taken
No smoking (round 2, 3 pauses on round 1) -- Day 6 completed 0 pauses taken
Caffeine Cut (Round 3!) -- Day 16 completed 0 pauses taken
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Sara -- Glad to see you're moving along. Yeah, bad days are a bummer. And I can't be allowing them. One bad day can easily cancel out THREE good days! Yesterday, I was thinking that too. I can and do work my butt off, but you wouldn't know it because I then cancel out my hard work but eating too much. What goes? Why can't I get this right?
1300 daily calorie limit - 2 pauses
Exercise - 30 per day - 2 pauses
Water - 1 litre of the pure stuff per day - 2 pauses.
Day 11 is done.
Red - it may well be time to get out of Tokyo. Are you thinking of getting out of Japan as well. Not wishing to tell you what to do, but you appear to have too much time on your own in the space you are in now. It may well be time for a complete change. My friend who used to live in Japan does a bit of translation work for a medical doctor over there. Don't know how well it pays but she is happy enough with it. Maybe you could find some translation work. I know you are not a country person, so staying in a city is probably a better option for you. But..... for what it is worth, thats my two cents worth
Sara- thanks for the kind words on my misdemeanours. Generally I am a fairly structured person, but for the moment I am at a crossroad and still trying to decide what is best for me and not all the other people who make money out of me.
so I am on day 5 yay all the days have been going
great! I haven't used any of my pause days so I think I'm doing alright
for the beginning of this. my start out
weight was200.5 and today I'm at 197.5 I am happy.
for todays goals I need to
drink more water and once I get home I need to do so e crunches like 80 of them LOL
Yesterday was a tough one. They all are. I seem to be retaining a ton of water (at least that's what I hope it is) and it is playing havoc with my mind and body. I am NOT happy.
I couldn't make it to the gym yesterday either. I was just too tired after a lot of walking with a heavy pack.
I am trying to notch up the journaling now and be more aware of how much is going in my mouth. Something seems to be definitely wrong with me, either my skewed perceptions of how much I'm eating or how much I'm exercising....something. Because if losing weight is this hard then I'm never going to be lean.
I am also going to look at the timing of my eating and try to see if changing that will help. I remember years ago, I used to walk into work, which was a fast 90-minute walk. I would always stop on the way and get a sweet pastry and eat that once I got to work. It didn't seem like much after all that work and yet it wasn't until I cut out that pastry that I started to lose fat. I think I am always overestimating effort with intake and cutting that out was not hard. I could have had an apple or something. So, I'm going to try to do the same and shake things up in this old bod!
No alcohol (round 2, 1 pause on round 1) -- Day 8 completed 0 pauses taken
No smoking (round 2, 3 pauses on round 1) -- Day 7 completed 0 pauses taken
Caffeine Cut (Round 3!) -- Day 17 completed 0 pauses taken
Wow! I've missed a lot. I'm going to read everything tomorrow and catch up. A summer cold hit me hard. I've basically slept through every day since Friday...so no exercise, no journaling...just sleeping. I'm starting to feel almost human and like I can breathe again....I'm off tomorrow as well (had planned to go to an outdoor concert in Chicago tonight....but that didn't happen because both DH and I have been really sick, and it's supposed to rain most of the night down there. I'll start anew tomorrow (though it might be Wednesday for the exercise).
I just finished my first fresh vegetable juice in months. Hurrah! I'm back on track. Trying to get healthy again and really trying to push through the tough days.
Meeting a friend in my old stomping ground tonight. Let's see if I can keep my hand from the booze and cigs....
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Shad -- You're well along, aren't you? I hadn't realized it was already 12 days. Any signs of fat loss?
diyana -- Good to see you again? I was wondering what happened. Sorry to hear about the nasty cold. Summer colds are hard to shake, aren't they? I look forward to having you back here. Your inspiration and support is wonderful. Too bad about the concert! Later!
paying the consequences...
rock those socks off!
You are too, too funny. 
You see, I LIKE the licorice and other unmentionable retro-style junk. 
We've been through this. It didn't cause my binge, it only heightened it. (the after-effects were the same though 
) Don't worry. There's certain things in life you just do NOT give up. 
what a slog...
). It's been tough. Not only because it left me dragging but because so much of time out and about in the city or meeting friends means I want to "go for a coffee." I just can't justify paying a lot for a cup of hot water with a tea bag thrown in it but that's usually what it amounts to, or having to ask if the juice is 100 percent. Besides, I don't like drinking juice....
Yesterday, I was thinking that too. I can and do work my butt off, but you wouldn't know it because I then cancel out my hard work but eating too much. What goes? Why can't I get this right?
to all!
juicing it!
I'm back on track. Trying to get healthy again and really trying to push through the tough days. 
