Ani you'r quite welcome to jump on a plane and come here for christmas. lol. If only it were that easy hey?
Kel no you shouldnt have to change yr house for ANY children, not even yr own. They have to learn to live in our world. In saying that, there are a few things I put up from mine just because of danger, but anything else I try to teach them not to touch (doesnt always work though).
I have no goals for 2008. I guess I better get to work on them. Oh yeah I do... one is not to argue so much with my other half. We have been heaps lately and I am so over it.
I had a terrible nightmare last night. I dreamed that my husband had finally landed the perfect job and we were at some party celebrating, where he introduced me to the woman who is going to share his new life with. She was young, tall, blonde and THIN. After all this time of sacrificing and supporting him, he chooses someone else to share the benefits with. I must be feeling a little bit insecure at the moment.
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I had a shocker yesterday in terms of food. I was feeling irritable and at war with the world - so of course I ate everything that wasn't nailed down. How comforting to know that I've learned how to manage my emotional triggers without running to the pantry – NOT!
This sounds exactly like me Ani. After doing the same thing I've gone back to being well behaved again the last couple of days. I wish I could make myself eat well over the weekend.
For christmas this year: Get up at some ungodly hour with the kids to open presents. Get step daughter @ 10 for 2 hours (generous!) Drop her home again at 12. Lunch with my family, then off to the outlaws for a visit on the way home. Pretty standard day for us this year.
I have to agree I'd like to get a little closer to my goal of 95kg by Christmas, but I'm happy to maintain till after New Year too.
Just a quickie from me. Life not going so well at the moment so diet and exercise are on the backburner for now. Some of you may remember a while ago I said that I had a problem with alcohol, well I thought I had it under control but last weekend I blew out and got myself into a really bad situation and it's brought my depression to a head again. I'm off to see my counsellor this afternoon which I hope will help. Will come back when I'm up to it. Keep up your good work ladies.
Julia don't disappear! Please??? We're here to be a sounding board and it doesnt always have to be about weight. Know that my (and probably everyone elses) support is with you. And sometimes we have to tackle just one thing at a time and maybe at the moment alcohol is your thing to tackle. Don't worry about being here and not doing something with yr weight loss. We understand and wouldnt pressure you. Just being here will remind you that you have friends (albeit anonymous ones) that care.
Julia I can only echo what Vonni said. I think it's great that you're going to see the counsellor today … my memory might be hazy but I think you've responded more quickly to your binge this time, so that has to be a good sign.
Gen how was the new PT? Are your muscles falling off today?
I'm struggling a bit at the moment - it might be Christmas-related, or it might be that I gave my housemate notice a month ago (and she's still here), or it might be the intrusion of the landlord… or the unsettling feeling of knowing I'm moving soon. Or all of the above.
Whatever it is I am really finding it hard to want to stay on plan with my eating. In fact I've been off-plan for about three or four days now.
I'm also feeling resentful that I can't go home and see mum next month - all because of the intrusion of other people in my life.
But now I feel bad for complaining because I just heard on the news about those two kids in Queensland who were found dead in a dam this morning. I imagine their family would give anything to only have my problems!
Some people are going to have the most sad and haunting Christmas ever - maybe I need to slap myself and go and offer to volunteer to help feed the homeless people or something, and stop being a self-indulgent w@nker!
Julia, I agree with what everyone else said - we're here to listen if you want to talk.
Ani, just because other people have different problems doesn't mean yours aren't important.
I am SO sore today - legs, shoulders, arms. Jeez, she really killed me.
How dumb was I this morning? I bought a split system A/C unit a few weeks ago and had it in Mum's garage. Never gave it another thought. This morning, the A/C guy called and I went around to my new place and suddenly when he asked about the unit I had to say "Duh - I didn't bring it!". And it doesn't fit in my car, so the A/C guy had to follow me back to Mum's and load it up, then go back to my place. Doh!! At least it's only a few minutes away, but how much of a knob am I? LOL.
Thought I'd say hello, nothing much has been happening down here. I'll be back home for Chrissy, hopefully setting my mum up haha. With my best friends partners dad, no less. He's a nice guy, and they get on.
Julia - take care. We're all here, as you know!
Ani - sounds like everything is up and down right now. How's your back at the moment, can you go for walks to relax?
Vonni! I missed you while I was gone - how are things going?
Gen, I guess you haven't replied coz you're sooooo sore from the session that you cant type?
I realised today (again!!) that food doesn't cure unhappiness. No amount of hot dogs or chocolate is going to get my head straight. So I'm going to try really hard to stop binging on massive amounts of crap. It's expensive and silly, I know it's wrong but I just keep doing it. Ugh.
Location: You'll never, never know, if you never, never go!!
Posts: 810
S/C/G: 109.6kg/104.6kg/67kg (15/8/10)
Height: 170cm
So here I am at 4am. I can't sleep! And the fact that we have a nice storm happening right now is only part of the reason! And yes I know the computer should be off about now!!
My life feels like it is being thrown all over the place right now, not to mention what it is doing to my emotions!!! Eek!
There are going to be big changes in 2008 in my life, and I think they might just occur sooner rather than later. I won't get into the details here just yet, but I have to see the 'good' side to these changes! But ****!! They are taking me so far out of my comfort zone it is scary!
So, needless to say maybe, with all this emotional turmoil, my eating habits have deteriorated badly! I don't remember ever eating like this in my life!!! And the quantity!! I am disgusted! So why can't I stop it? I know it is wrong and it is not helping anything, and I feel worse for doing it...so WHY CAN I NOT STOP THIS???
Gah!!
Julia, hang in there mate. I am with all the others in what they say. And I agree that you have picked up on the problem sooner and you are reaching for the solution in the right way. Don't run from us, we'd love to be able to help our friend
Ani, I agree with Gen, and I should listen to her too. Yes others have problems, but that does not make ours any less valid. I reckon that house your are in is full of bad vibes for you - from your housemate experiences to your landlord. I think moving has to be a good thing!
Kylie, I am with you with the food does not equal happiness! Any ideas on how you are going to change this...I could use all the help I can get. Actually, I am even thinking or asking someone at work for advice. This woman has lost a sh*t load of weight and looks absolutley great for it, and has maintained it for a good couple of years now. I really want to ask her how she deals/dealt with emotional eating during her weight loss and now! But I will probably never ask because I hate asking questions that could expose how I might be feeling!
Alright, I gotta get up in a an hour and a half! I am going to try for a little more shut eye!
And if this post turns out to be all waffle and ramble I apologise! I should be asleep after all!
Last edited by Lindor; 12-19-2007 at 02:23 PM.
Reason: Grrrr...I was going to go to bed and not look for edits and typos in this!!!
Session with the counsellor yesterday was pretty good and I'm booked in for January as soon as she's back in the office. I've got a huge amount of self hatred going on and I know now that it needs to be dealt with. I've borrowed a book from her about understanding alcohol abuse and will read that over Christmas.
As a result of overdosing on alcohol during the weekend, I'm now badly depressed but I know that will pass soon and I hope to be back on form before too long.
Thank you all for your support, it really does mean a lot to me.
god i hate thinking everything will be different just coz the calender flips over to a new year... but BRING IT ON
i dont know what is going to change but as long as i do i guess that is all that matters
i have a headache i screamed at my parents so badly and stupidly last night
ani the same thing went through my mind about the little kids that drowned in the dam but gen is right just coz we have different problems doesnt make them not as important... everything is a matter of perspective
barb - dont you hate it when you dream stuff like that, then you wake up with this weird niggly feeling towards hubby and they have no idea what they have done..... you should not feel insecure around hubby though..?? i feel insecure around some 'friends' but not hubby
86.3kg today yippeee for maintaining! i know things i could have done different (like go for more than one walk this week) but need to relax as am working myself up into breakdown type feelings... not cool
kitchen dude left unfinished kitchen swearing and is not coming back so benji is going to have to finish it - not fair as i could have got benji to finish it months ago if i knew he was going to be such a tosser i asked him at least 8 weeks ago just to drop off all the materials and i would make it happen so i would have kitchen by xmas but he dodged me then comes with the last cupboard COMPLETLY wrong and upside down and one cupboard door that is too big and had trouble putting top trim on coz of my walls being uneven so i think that is why he chucked the tanty - he didnt want to do it - that is fine i think maybe i dont want to pay him full install price... i have told his gfriend that when the last door comes in we will organise pick up and money then gives us both a chance to chill out and then at least me not paying install fee yet is their problem not mine - he has installed 3/4 of kitchen even though he dragged it out over 6 months i have no problem giving him some money but the stress and stuff he has put me through is going to cost him
ani - i am so jealous you get to do what you want for xmas.... with jemima's first xmas we have to go to all the family all over town it will be overwhealming for everyone and is what we do everyyear... next year unless there is another baby having first xmas i think we will do our own thing and be controversial... my mum loves xmas and we all have to go to a meal together and sit there and pretend we have something in common other than being related
benji's family put on a real formal affair which i am totally uncomfortable with but i think that is refreshing for them as i just go with the flow and they loosen up a little
i have many times subscribed to the thread for emails when u guys post and it does not work everytime! it sucks, sometimes i think hmmm its been quiet i go in eventually and i have missed 3 pages......
anyhow keep on keeping on lets all stay the same for the next 2 weeks, losing weight like always is a bonus!
Went to a meeting last night - and as I was walking to the building I ran into three women who had been close friends of mine until about a year ago. It isn't that anything happened to hurt the friendship - we just kind of drifted a little.
These women spent the next ten minutes paying out on me. Having a go at my nail polish, and just bagging me out in general in a classic "herd-mentality" high school way. Even though I laughed at them, I did tell them to grow up at one point!
I didn't understand it at the time, but they were sitting in front of me in the meeting, and then I got it. One of them is 110kg, another is 105kg - and they started to do our Biggest Loser thing earlier this year. They've both gained weight, and I must have held up a distorted mirror to them. And made them feel threatened.
It was only because there were 40 other people there that I didn't pull them up on it at the time. But I will definitely let them know about it today!
It's pretty sad that losing weight and becoming the person I want to be has incurred the disapproval of "friends".
Now Lindor - emotional eating! Are you scared of change? Do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy, or to have good things happen?
Is it possible that the 'key' to your emotional relationship with food lies in your statement about why you're unwilling to talk to your colleague about weight loss? Better to swallow your feelings and anaesthetize yourself with food than to admit to another human being that you feel vulnerable?
Every time I lose 5kg I have a serious session with my journal, in which I ask the question: do I feel safe to unwrap another layer?
I honestly believe that weight loss is as much about learning to like who you are, and getting to know yourself better, as it is about the results on the scale.
Kylie it's great to see you back here, and give yourself a break about eating for unhappiness. Recovering from a breakup takes time - and you've got family stuff that has been huge this year too. Christmas tends to focus us on all that stuff for some reason.
YAY Julia! I'm glad you found the counsellor helpful and that you've got some 'homework'. You know we're here if you want to chat, or if you want to get some support.
Hey Gen what plan has the PT got for you? And can I ask what you do for your achilles? After months of mine settling down it is back with a vengeance this week. I'm going to go and get new walking shoes and a heel lift soon, but what cream do you use? And do you heat or ice it?
Kel I would be shoving a few kitchen accessories right up that tradesman's @rse! Honestly… how hard is it to put a kitchen together? Especially when you're being paid for it!
And good on you for maintaining!
I'm with you - at least determined to maintain until the end of the silly season. Bought myself a new pedometer yesterday, and I'm making a plan to walk to Broome in 2008 (not literally of course). My reward - when I make it - will be a real trip to Broome for a holiday!
Ani, it's unfortunate that some people feel the need to make themselves feel better by making others feel worse, isn't it?
Lindor and Julia, I SO hear you. The older I get, and the longer I try to do this weight loss thing, I realise that most of my problems stem from the fact that somewhere down deep, I don't think I'm worth any more. I'm a total perfectionist, which really hampered my life severely in many, many way. I totally avoid relationships because I don't trust my judgement of people after being hurt badly before, and because in some part, I feel like if they know what I'm "really" like, they won't like me. I find it immensely difficult to talk about my feelings. It's easier to eat stuff than to examine my shortcomings, I suppose. Sigh. I just don't know. I did feel a lot better when I was getting the psychologist sessions, but the thought of having to start again with a different counsellor is frightening, because it was hard enough to go the first time and I only did it because I was in a complete mess with depression.
OK well that was cheery. On another note, my new PT was killing me - very heavy weights and low reps, hard cardio intervals so I was tomato-faced and puffing for the whole thing. I'm still very bloody sore - but in a good way, it feels good to have done the work. I will go to the gym today and get some walking or cycling done as it's pouring rain - I think it will help loosen things up.
Ani, I've had a breakthrough with my achilles. Not sure of the exact reason, but I've been:
1. Not working and sitting around on my arse a lot (with orthotics in shoes)
2. Using ArthroAid cream (recommended by someone with same issue, doesn't matter what brand but you want glucosamine + shark cartilage). Been rubbing it in and stretching the tendon sideway and up and down 1-2 times a day, or whenever I remember!
3. Mum has an infrared lamp (from the op shop for $5!!) and I warm up the tendon, rub in the cream, then leave it cooking over the lamp for 20 mins. Immediately after, it's painfree for a while!
