Moviegirl and surfergirl, your experiences sound like mine!
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Originally Posted by surfergirl2
So glad to see i'm not alone! I felt really sad after my last breakup, and then i was trying online dating which sucked. Finally i decided to just forget about dating and focus on myself. I'm just going to work on losing weight and getting fit. An added bonus of not dating is that i don't have to figure out how to fit the dinners and drinks into my diet. I really hope i meet a good guy someday though. I don't see that happening anytime soon though...not very optimistic about the whole dating thing right now.
This is exactly what I decided to do after I got my last "thanks for playing but you're not a winner" card a few weeks ago. I'm trying to be more positive about this whole dating situation, but when you keep getting the same result over and over again, it's hard.
Not to mention Singles Awareness Day (also known as SAD) is coming up...LOL. Kay, that party sounds fun!
Moviegirl and surfergirl, your experiences sound like mine!
This is exactly what I decided to do after I got my last "thanks for playing but you're not a winner" card a few weeks ago. I'm trying to be more positive about this whole dating situation, but when you keep getting the same result over and over again, it's hard.
Not to mention Singles Awareness Day (also known as SAD) is coming up...LOL. Kay, that party sounds fun!
Here's to us!!!
Yep...and I was particularly glad to see this thread on the 30somethings forum because I feel it just gets harder as you get older. It's especially hard at my age (33) because everyone is having babies and I'm really starting to face the fact that I may never. Which is ok...but when you combine that with a breakup, it adds up to a whole lot of feeling sorry for yourself. But that's all in the past now!
Around 28 most of my friends had gotten married and had children which left little room in their lives for their single pal. I made new younger friends and lo and behold they went ahead and got married without me too. The second round of weddings was worse. It could be perceived but I have had independent corroboration that this second group of friends really just treats me like an oddity for being single and what they now consider old. I put up with it for a long time in the name of fun but have started distancing myself because I need no help feeling bad about my situation. Anyone else experience this?
Around 28 most of my friends had gotten married and had children which left little room in their lives for their single pal. I made new younger friends and lo and behold they went ahead and got married without me too. The second round of weddings was worse. It could be perceived but I have had independent corroboration that this second group of friends really just treats me like an oddity for being single and what they now consider old. I put up with it for a long time in the name of fun but have started distancing myself because I need no help feeling bad about my situation. Anyone else experience this?
That's been my experience as well. And there were times where I wondered if the exclusion was intentional...for example, one of my friends back home started hanging out a lot more with people who had children. Even though I might not want to be involved in "kid friendly" activities all the time, they might do things like have a girls night out and somehow she "forgot" about me. WTF?
But I must admit, I've had a few good friends though who haven't treated me like an outcast because I'm single and childless. I made a vow that I wouldn't be "that person" if I ever find a husband and/or have kids.
But I must admit, I've had a few good friends though who haven't treated me like an outcast because I'm single and childless. I made a vow that I wouldn't be "that person" if I ever find a husband and/or have kids.
I'm envious, I had a single friend who was very active and lots of fun but when she got a boyfriend that was it. Sometimes she would make plans and cancel them as I was sitting in her driveway waiting for her.
I am right there with you all on the friends issue. For years I struggled with trying to keep friendships I had out grown or at least we were at very different places in our lives. I have recently found the meetup groups are good for making new friends. I stopped going to the singles focused ones and now attend ones that come together around a shared interest. Some people are single and some are married but all are out and often open to making new friends. I have a diverse but small group of friends ranging in age from the 20's to the 60's. Some have children and some do not. Some are married or in relationships and others are single. life gets complicated and relationships change so this year I am working on strengthening my current friendships and cultivating new friends. Even though I do not have children or a husband I have changed over the years. One example is now that I am trying to live a healthier life style it strains some friendships that are based on bonding over food. I keep suggesting we try new things that do not involve eating like browse the museum or volunteer together or attend an event. When you go out with friends what types of activities do you prefer?
It is also very hard to make or keep friends when you become a single parent. I meet a lot of other moms through my kids' activities, but the minute they find out I'm single, they tend to act differently. I guess there is still a stigma for all of us single mothers. I am an educated woman with a career, but a lot of other mom's just can't get past the fact that I am a single mother.
so as of 5 hours ago im now a singleton. we were together for 8 years (since i was 18). not sure how i feel about it yet.
I am sorry Rechyl, I am am new to the single world too (we had been together for 11 yrs and married for 6). I have my moments of feeling great about it and other moments when I feel the doom and gloom of divorce. Honestly I feel pretty bipolar lately since it's all a roller coaster. Just last night I was watching AFV and laughing hysterically at some adorable baby and then instantly feel like crying since I wont have one for years to come if at all. I know that time heals though so I am doing well. I hope you are feeling optimistic! You will probably have your highs and lows but you aren't alone!
Well my F V-day party went well. And my close single friend is going out with me for valentines lunch tomorrow... we are having a potluck in my office and I just didn't want to be there and hear the questions about how my husband is doing (people at work don't know I am going through a divorce).
Anybody else have any plans for V-day? I think I might be my own valentine... make myself a damn good dinner, watch a movie of my choice and soak my feet or take a bubble bath or something.
I plan to ignore the fact it's valentines day which is a holiday I've always found stupid.
I will instead plan a mini celebration for what I hope will be a weight loss at my weigh in tomorrow
It is also very hard to make or keep friends when you become a single parent. I meet a lot of other moms through my kids' activities, but the minute they find out I'm single, they tend to act differently. I guess there is still a stigma for all of us single mothers. I am an educated woman with a career, but a lot of other mom's just can't get past the fact that I am a single mother.
I'm lucky in that I have a lot of people that I've kept close friendships with over the years, but I completely agree when it comes to new friendships. Most of my friends don't have relationships or kids, but there are a few that have children much older than mine, one of which is a very good friend who is also a single mother, and her daughters have adopted my daughter as a "little sister." As a matter of fact, my other friends with kids are also single, so maybe that makes a difference.
I'm the only mother who doesn't sit outside of my daughter's dance class (her school assumes responsibility at that time), but on the off-chance that I've been able to leave work early, I just can't relate to most of the other mothers' conversations. My daughter is with my ex husband every other weekend, so I still have "me" time where I like to go out and socialize. Judging from the weekend plans they discuss, it feels like we have very little in common.
I'm also lucky that I like to go out alone if none of my friends are available when I'm free. I love karaoke, dancing, trivia, and I have no qualms about just striking up a conversation with a stranger.
Munchy- I wish I were more like you. I seem to avoid new people the older I get. I don't think I have ever gone out to eat by myself. And as much as I love to sing and would love to do karaoke... I would need at least 3-4 drinks before that happens. LOL
Hi everyone! I'm so glad to find this thread!! I was fixing to start my own for the same reason lol. I am single (have been for a while) and I had tried all those dating websites (I yell at eharmony when it comes on lol) and the guys in my area that are on there are just looking for one thing or they aren't attracted to me. I know that there is someone out there for me but I don't think I'm where I need to be mentally and and health wise for God to introduce us...lol if that makes sense? I'm hoping to lose 100 lbs this year and after that I'm going to focus on dating again
I know that time heals though so I am doing well. I hope you are feeling optimistic! You will probably have your highs and lows but you aren't alone!
And my close single friend is going out with me for valentines lunch tomorrow... we are having a potluck in my office and I just didn't want to be there and hear the questions about how my husband is doing (people at work don't know I am going through a divorce). 
