Definitely! Well said! I am tolerating less and less bull**** as time goes by. I think the reason why I haven't ended up with anyone is because most of the men I don't tolerate when it comes to all the bull**** and wanting one night stands which gets on my nerves. I deserve better than that.

After lurking on this sight occasionally, I've finally jumped in. My issue with dating is the prospect of getting intimate with someone new. Who else worries what is he thinking? Does he notice this bulge, roll or other issue? Trying to work on self image. Heard someone say recently that if you're the only naked woman in the room you're looking mighty fine.

I am pretty happy being single infact I love my independance. There are challenges at the same time I think I will never be able to be one of those joint at the hip couple people no matter how much I love someone (family or friend) I need time away or I start to get really annoyed.

I love that I don't have to feel guilty about my food choices, I don't have a mate complaining that my cooking is too healthy etc. I make my own choices my responsibilities etc.

I have a single and thirty something and loosing weight question... How do you deal with the unwanted male attention? I used to be able to move through the world without being seen or at least not approached much. I am mostly flattered by the new attention but it can be awkward/uncomfortable. I have been a big girl all of my adult life. How do you deal with this... without slipping back up the scale and out of sight?

Jojo381972- It is nice to hear that other people can relate. I know a bad relationship is much worse then no relationship.

speedy2697- Clothing is great but at my size no man is surprised to find I am fat when the clothes come off. There is a lot you can do without being totally naked. Show a little or show a lot, take it slow, dress up. I think the point is to have fun with it. My body is not perfect now and it will not be perfect after I reach my goal weight but I can be sexy.

silentarctic- I agree there are real benefits to being single when making a life style change. I have been single for years and I really value my independence. I am looking for a man that has interest of his own and can amuse himself. I do not need to be attached at the hip to anyone 24/7. I am hoping there is some middle ground.

Single and no kids and very happy. I don't like children and thinks the whole 'marriage' thing is just silly. People always ask me about marriage and kids and when they hear I have neither they start to pity me and I find it incredibly annoying. Worse was this guy I once dated who thought he knew me better than myself and that I was really just in denial and that ALL women want kids and marriage. That relationship didn't last long.

5aday - All my normal weighted / overweight (but not obese) friends have that problem too. I think you can learn to become somewhat decensitised to it. I know that It wierds you out right now but time and experience you'll get use to it. Not sure what KIND of attention? (like being asked out, or just stares) without knowing that not really any specific advice other than I'm pretty sure the more you deal with it the less foreign and anxiety causing it should be

Speedy: Petrified, I don't even want to get intimate. I don't even know if I could, if I date I will be taking things VERY slowly. Hello i have stretchmarks and bra's are my BFF the 'girls' look so much better in them than on. Not to mentioned its been what seems like an eternity since I've been so much as kissed I honestly don't know if I will freak out or what if someone tries. :-D No advice but... you are so not alone in that. I am probably going to freak otu MORE as the weight comes off because of the skin (since i have so much to lose :-|)

I want to get married and have kids, but as I get older and this is looking less and less likely, I'm having a hard time changing the vision of what I want in life. Friends and a career are just not a replacement for the life I always envisioned. I have a really small family and I'm afraid of what my life will be like when my parents are gone. I'm content alone, but I don't feel fulfilled.

silentarctic-the attention is sometimes a look and I do not mind that. The comments are more awkward. I work in a male dominated profession and it surprises me when things shift from professional to personal. I am really good at professional. I am sure that with time I will get better at the personal. I think part of the issue is that I like to keep my personal separate from work. As I loose weight and clothes fit better and I feel more energetic I am undeniably a women. Before it was like I had to get dressed up and go out looking for the attention.

PrairieGirl- I feel you on this one. In my teens and early twenties I really wanted to have children. I turned 35 in 2011 and I am very single. I do not want to rush into something just because my clock is ticking. I have started to think about what the next 20 years might look like without children. I allow myself to morn the lost of opportunity. I think about adopting an older child. I believe there can be joy in a childless life and if that is my path I will to find the joy.

TheCuriosity- I love your attitude. The pity always sucks. People should trust that you know yourself and life is not one size fits all.

Seriously single here!

Although this isn't where I thought I would be at this age, I am not sitting at home moping about it. I travel for fun, I go to bed when I want to, and if I want to spend a Sunday in my pajamas, I do. I think only having to worry about cooking for me has made my weight loss journey a little easier. I was just talking to my oldest friend about this. While she is fascinated by the quick results I'm having on my plan, she isn't sure she could do it with her hubby and kids and their off-plan food in the house.

I'm starting to notice a little more male attention. I wonder - is it purely my physical appearance, or am I subconsciously more confident?

I'm sure with more confidence you'll open up and not be afraid to be more personal at work. Keeping personal and professional separate is a good idea. I've dated men that I worked with and if it ends badly you may not want to go to work and see him everyday. Congrats on losing weight and feeling better in your skin. I find I'm also getting more attention, but sometimes not the attention that I want. As I'm big chested I am used to guys checking me out to an extent. I often want to feel like more than a piece of meat and be respected for who I am.

I so hear you on liking being single! I find I'm getting more set in my ways as I'm getting older, and although I thought I would have kids by now and be married,, I'm rethinking kids now as I'm getting too old. I think not having that hubby and kids support can make things harder or easier depending on how you look at it. I find I don't have to worry about anyone else, but not having that extra support makes it harder to stay motivated. I'd love to have someone pushing me all the time..hehe. I have to push myself or no one else will.

I hear you to a large extent, but it is never too late to get more friends or change your vision of yourself. Maybe you will find something or someone to fulfill you in the future.

Yes! I've lived alone in a house that I own for 9 years now, and I have to think living with a man would be a HUGE adjustment.

I'm also thinking that I'm probably not going to have kids, even though I always thought I would. I'm in my late 30's, so by the time I find their father, I might be too old to have those kids.

While I've definitely had to motivate myself on my weight loss journey, I'm not going to ponder the what-ifs if there was a man involved. I am doing this for ME! If a guy comes along for the ride, great, but all of this is for me, not him, whoever he is.

Well said and I 100% agree with you.