I have made an effort to avoid online dating sites this week. Even though I am still looking for Mr. Right and I have lots of free time this week I do not want to appear desperate. I will revamp my profile next weekend with the hope that people will be settled into the new year.

I have never had a romantic New Year's eve but so far I only spent a few alone. The last few years have been with family-parents, sisters, nieces and nephews. We have a sleep over at my parents' house that includes lots of snacking, talking, cards and board games. I am lucky to have family nearby that I enjoy spending time with... In my 20's I lived far away from family and I would attend watch night services or other new year's eve church events that lasted well past midnight.

Hang in there Tiffany and WhisperHeart. I hope 2012 is your best year yet!

You just can't control when love is going to come your way. I guess putting yourself out there and being the best you is all you can do right?

I've been off and on online dating and it's been hot and cold. I met a few guys that were all right, a few that were just atrocious, and one guy that I fell so hard for. We dated for a few months and it was amazing for about 2 months and then he turned out to not quite be what he advertised. Or he went crazy I don't really know. But now, every time I meet a guy he gets compared to that last guy and no one lives up.

Another new year's eve alone is in store. I got invited out with friends but I just can't do the bar anymore. I feel too old, I don't want to be laughed at for being a cougar and I just don't enjoy it anymore. I am doing a race on the 1st though, it's a resolution run so that should be fun!

I'm a 38 year old recently divorced mother to a 14 year old who is happy to be free.

My ex-husband is paranoid schizophrenic. One of the things that helped to break up my marriage was my weight loss. He couldn't handle the change in my looks and my attitude.

After 23 years in an abusive relationship, I'm not ready to date any time soon. I would like to find a good man one day. I feel I deserve a real prince after the crap I dealt with. But if it doesn't happen, I'm still 110% better off than I was.

Almost 51-year old single mother of two sons (19 and 14). We are spending the New Year at home. Just us. No drama, no trauma. Saved presents from Christmas to open tonight. Going to make a pot of chowder and some biscuits and watching a movie or two. Tomorrow, we're making cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate and then taking a drive into the countryside.

We've been free for three years from 26 years of a bondage to a self-serving a-hole disguised as an upstanding pillar of the community. Despite enjoying my freedom (and the boys are doing great), it's this time of year when I get royally steamed about the past. Even this morning, I'm riding a wave of anger and resentment that keeps revisiting me like the ghost of husbands past. I don't want to be in this state of mind, and yet, here it is. Makes me want to overeat!!!

I was dumped for losing weight, becoming strong, creating my own identity and building a great community reputation. It's strange that the woman I was replaced with a week after the divorce was final was a woman who doesn't speak English well at all and is about 1/2 the size of a normal American woman. And she's only there to service X's needs. She isn't even refered to as the step-mother. She's only "his wife".

Perhaps I'll tape a picture of X to the kickboxing bag I have in the garage and have a go at it. That should get my heart rate up.

(I feel better for unloading this morning...thanks!)

Happy 2012! I go back to work tomorrow. I am trying to have balance in my life in terms of personal and professional. I have a three social outings planned in the next two weeks and my goal is to follow through with attending the events. I often plan to attend fun stuff and then I back out. It might be that I am tired or do not feel like driving to an unfamiliar place in the dark or some other excuse. I am not standing up friends or breaking dates, these are things that I am attending alone or with a large group so I feel like I will not be missed. It is really not good for my health because when I stay in I am more likely to sit on the couch and snack. Does anyone else struggled with this, how have you pushed through? Once I go out I tend to enjoy myself, it is the getting out that get me. I tried inviting friends along but everyone is so busy with family and whatnot...

I'm single and getting tired of it. For the longest time it didn't really bother me. Sure I wanted the boyfriend for support and to have someone to do things with. But it wasn't a big deal to me. Once I hit my 30's the loneliness hit me pretty hard. I started to realize that I did want the husband and 2.5 kids. But my weight and health got pretty out of control and instead of dealing with it and getting healthier I spent a few years wallowing in it.

So this year I've really hit the whole weight thing hard. I've worked for the past 4 months really working on losing some weight and I haven't lost a pound. And no, I haven't lost inches either. I'm pretty discouraged. On top of that I joined online dating. I've been on for a year. All the big sites free and paid. And over a year I got maybe 10 bites and I found that they either had no profiles, no pictures, creepy pictures/profiles, or just wanted me because I was overweight. The whole experience has made me even more jaded and discouraged. And of course I had to do an experiment where I changed my picture to someone who was thin and averagely attractive. Not a super model, but not ugly. And overnight I got over 20 emails. So, yeah, I'm not really happy with the online thing. New Years day I cancelled all of my accounts. It was hurting more than helping.

So now it's 2012, and on Thursday I turn 36. I'm now considered high risk for pregnancy if I started tomorrow. But I'm overweight, single, with no kids and just plain lonely. It sucks. I wish I could say solidarity single people, but I'm just not there anymore.

As for why this post was originally started, yes I totally agree that we deal with different things than married folks do for weight loss. Just different challenges. So it is nice to meet some people who are going through the same difficulties. Good luck to everyone.

I struggle with this. I force myself to go sign up for things so that I'm out of the house. I don't have a big group of friends where I live because I haven't lived here long and all I do is go to school and work. But even just signing up to take a bootcamp and being friendly with the other women, or volunteering for a community event, or saying 'yes' to office after hours events forces me to get out there. I'd say pick something at least once and a week and just do it. I've never regretted going out, but I'll often wallow in myself if I stay home (and eat lol). Good luck!

aliasihaya- I also find myself unintentionally single, childless and 35+. Sometimes I am hopeful about the future and I can see enjoying a long life as a single woman or even as a part of a childless couple. Other days I seem to see babies everywhere... babies and couples. It sucks and I find myself mourning the loss of a life I thought I would live. I move through the stages of grief sometimes all in one day sometimes I drag through them over months getting bogged down in anger or depression... I am working towards acceptance.
Stages of grief...
Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

PrairieGirl- I am going to try to do one social thing a week. I have something identified for the first three weeks of January. This Saturday I am going to a live music event, next week it is open mic poetry, week three I will go to a Meetup over coffee with a group of about 25 people I met in December and the following day I plan to go to the art museum for a live jazz event...

I've had the opportunity to start all over again. I moved back to my hometown almost three years ago. It was very slow going at first, trying to rekindle friendships and reconnecting with family. Eventually, I accepted that middle-aged people who already have a life don't tend to make room for new people in their lives. And the people I used to be connected to years ago, needed me to keep being that person...and I'm not!

So, all new friends now. It started with women I met in my Pilates class and through work. They are all people who support who I am and want to be now. They needed someone fun and cheeky, who keeps it light and real too. I can do that! I needed people who would call me if I didn't show up to class, or who keep me involved with my professional development. I'm looking at groups through Meet-up as well. Didn't have a lot of luck with that at first, but I'm learning I need to spend some gas money to find more people with whom I have things in common. I live in a small agricultural town and there's not a huge community of people who have even left town to travel to the next state. I'm looking for people who have lived!

I need to find some new things that are locally available for me to do too. But I'm NOT a quilter, not into book discussion groups, don't feel like volunteering at the local school. There's a belly dancing class I'm thinking about attending, but again, it's all women. Been taking some classes at a local cheese shop, but the only men that go are married to the women that drag them there. I go to some wine-tasting events, but single men aren't there unless they're gay. I don't do bars or nightclubs. I don't do church.

Maybe I should get a gym membership just to pump weights with the big boys.

I understand what you are saying here. I often end up not doing much and it is easy to just stay in and be comfortable with not doing too much. I find after awhile it can get very lonely though. When I get to that point, I push myself to go out. Even going to the gym is helpful, although not very social for me either. Yeah, it is tough when most of my friends are married and/or have kids and are very busy. I have a few married friends that like to go to the bar partying, but even that I'm trying not to do as much because I'm not 20 anymore, plus I end up drinking and eating too much.

Congrats on starting over again. That takes alot of guts and grit to start your life anew and get rid of people that bring you down. It is hard to find certain types of people in small towns ime. I am in the wrong town for a person like me. Small towns can be boring and close minded. I joined the gym about a year ago, and I go often. It is nice to see people that are like minded getting in shape, and it is possible to chat up some people if you feel up to it. I highly suggest joining the gym.

Congrats on getting out of an abusive relationship. I bet it was not easy. Good for you girl! You deserve a prince... I think we all do (unfortunately there aren't many out there)..hehe. Enjoy your new freedom and life with your child.

My congrats to you too, Streudel for getting out of an unhealthy relationship.

I am single too. I'm not sure that I want romance in my life even though I still have profiles on the dating sites... One day at a time...

I am enjoying the new year healthy eating push in the media and among friends. For me this is one of the easiest times for me to be health concision. No one bats an eye when I brown bag my lunch or skip the office treats. No one is bringing in cookies, organizing potlucks or passing out fudge. Coworkers want to take a walk at lunch and people are willing to meet at the gym. I know it will not last... soon talk of super bowl snacks and valentines candy will take over. But today is a good day!