JZJ - Holy moly. That's not a guardian angel - that's a superhero. Please tell us the driver stopped to see if you needed help? Yikes!
Silver, thanks - yes, it's hard to believe that was 3 1/2 years ago. Phew! Sorry to hear about your aunt - I am not sure expecting it makes things any easier. I support you entirely in waiting a while to weigh!
saef, I'm glad to hear your funk is lifting a bit; my mood sometimes does tend to mirror the level of control I have at work. I am facing my first true "impossible" workload and need to convince myself that making a plan to eat an elephant is not a waste of precious time.
I am facing my first true "impossible" workload and need to convince myself that making a plan to eat an elephant is not a waste of precious time.
Becky "Making a plan to eat an elephant" would perfectly describe how I sold, bought, and moved into a house. I find it's always good to plan ahead for the big tasks.
I think my weight yesterday is a "true" weight. I have been drinking water all weekend and am now @ a hydrated 136 lbs. I'm good with that. My winter maintenance range is 135 - 138 so I'm well within that.
JayZeeJay, have you gotten on the bike again? I wonder if it's like getting back on a horse after a really bad fall while riding.
Personally, after I got hit by a car, I had a long period of wariness over crossing at intersections, and I can't say it has really ended, as I am a lot more cautious than fellow pedestrians.
Did this happen in the dark? I thought people were more cautious on Halloween! This is my nightmare on that holiday, in those years when I have to drive to CT that day -- hitting a trick-or-treater who darts out or wears black. I roll around in neighborhoods like a 90-year-old lady.
Did the car stop? Did witnesses come over? Did you go to the ER?
JZJ - Holy moly. That's not a guardian angel - that's a superhero. Please tell us the driver stopped to see if you needed help? Yikes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by saef
JayZeeJay, have you gotten on the bike again? I wonder if it's like getting back on a horse after a really bad fall while riding.
Personally, after I got hit by a car, I had a long period of wariness over crossing at intersections, and I can't say it has really ended, as I am a lot more cautious than fellow pedestrians.
Did this happen in the dark? I thought people were more cautious on Halloween! This is my nightmare on that holiday, in those years when I have to drive to CT that day -- hitting a trick-or-treater who darts out or wears black. I roll around in neighborhoods like a 90-year-old lady.
Did the car stop? Did witnesses come over? Did you go to the ER?
Prepare for the insurance wrangling.
The driver did stop. He was really nice, and utterly horrified that he hit me. Ironically, he is the director of the county crime lab. He texted me constantly to check on me the first few days, and he is paying for my new front wheel and brakes, and any medical co-pays. So far, everything has been so inexpensive that I don't see any reason to report it to insurance (around $120 total expenses).
I went to urgent care, had radiographs and a splint put on. I can take it off to shower, so that's nice. It seems like everything is healing pretty well, so I'm hopeful that nothing lasting will result from it. I got off easy. Strangely, our good friend was hit by a car on her bike commute home exactly a year ago, on Halloween. I wonder if parents are rushing home to get kids dressed and out the door, and inadvertently mowing a few cyclists down on the way.
Whether I will keep riding... not sure. I hope so! I can tell that I'm a bit shaken up still, so it may be a few weeks at least. My BF was pretty upset by it so he went online and ordered me super fancy brakes and a new helmet, and he got both of us ultra-reflective vests, new spoke and wheel lights (in addition to our 700-watt headlights and blinky tail lights) and reflective tape for our fenders and panniers. We will look like a circus coming down the street, but that's the goal.
Meanwhile, I had gotten used to my bike commute being my built-in weekday exercise. Now I have to go home from work and motivate to run in the dark, and therefore on paved streets instead of on the dirt mountain trails that I much prefer. Yesterday I didn't do it. Today I WILL do it. I had already slid into the 140's before this happened and I am now actually starting to wonder if I am close to 150. Years of weight loss progress, now gone. Incredible.
JayZee - Bodies get puffy after trauma and extreme stress. Maybe the idea is to puff up like the Michelin Man in order to buffer any more impact. Give yourself a bit of time to recover and come down from the experience before you assess. No matter what, the years of progress are NOT lost - you have that knowledge with you and it just means employing those techniques again. You've been through the wringer lately and sometimes life sets your priorities for you ... and the only real choice is to roll with it until things take on a semblance of normality again.
So says me ... who views this time of the year and the impending holidays like a peaceful walk on the beach and then noticing that the surf is racing way, way back, beyond the low tide line. My planner has room for only 36 tasks in a day, people - when it's full, I lock it up and hide in my sofa cushion fort.
Last edited by ICUwishing; 11-06-2013 at 08:37 AM.
Just a horrible day yesterday. I was trying to write something. It wasn't working. The words weren't coming. I couldn't find them. I kept writing the same cliches. I paced the room. I sat down & got up again. I went on eBay, then off. I drank can after can of Diet Pepsi, maybe six or eight, one after the other. I wished for sugarfree gum, but I'm trying to break myself of that habit. I bit one nail down to the quick, till it bled. I ate half a bag of pistachios. I ate one apple after another, maybe four. I had a big lunch of chickpeas, roasted veggies, quinoa, almonds and parmesan cheese on top, instead of a salad. I mixed sugarfree chocolate pudding with Greek yogurt and ate that, and had to force myself to put it away. I told myself, "You'll be glad you put it away tomorrow" but that seemed like such a remote thing that would never happen. There was no future in that moment, no time beyond the pain of the present where I would look back on this day and it would seem like a relatively slight struggle.
I wrote maybe five paragraphs over seven hours.
And so of course, the scale this morning completely erased any progress I'd made over the past three weeks and puts me at a high weight I haven't seen since spring of 2012. This isn't just due to yesterday but also due to some nervous eating earlier in the week. I have so much to do, so much to do.
Not feeling good about myself today.
And wondering why I hurt myself like this when the problem is with my workload.
I am desperately unhappy today as I used to be after desperate binges -- the same cycle of emotions, as if I hadn't learned anything over the past few years.
And there's the ghost of that really fat girl looming over me like a big Macy's day parade balloon blocking the sky. "This is who you are really ... why did you think you could NOT be her? ... how long did you think you were going to get away with your impersonation?"
Dark, dark thoughts indeed.
Back to work. There is no way I will get out of today's due date.
Wow Saef. I'm so sorry. I don't have any real advice. I wish I did. I hope you are feeling better today and will stop beating yourself up. I know you aren't feeling better but maybe you will soon. Are you seeing your therapist soon?
I've just read this in an email from a friend: "I am making some headway on chapters for the book I am editing but mighty glad that I don't write for a living. I have endless admiration for you who do."
Writing and editing *are* hard. You're good at it. And you're also human - so some days you're not so good at it. And you're badly overworked.
You're a lovely person who's badly overworked. Stress is splurging out of cracks, no matter how tightly you've caulked yourself.
Today is another day. Tomorrow is another day. Think about the beauty of the autumn leaves. Feel the breeze on your face when you walk to the gymn. Admire the sparkling rain in your hair. You're not going to become that really fat girl again. Fact. Yesterday was a bad day, and it's over.
saef - I know the feeling all too well of wanting - needing - to write something and just not being able to get it out.
I'm glad you are here today.
I wish I had some miracle words to make it all better, but I don't.
As a fellow Northern NY chick I want you to know this - and it comes from a place of honest sincerity - if you ever want to get back to basics my door is OPEN for you at any time. If you need a time out and want to come back up here I have a guest room that you are welcome to hang your hat in!
There is a low ticking noise coming from my furnace when the heat is running. The first tech last week couldn't find it, said it was just a vent twitch. It has gotten louder.
Second tech, the 'troubleshooter', found it today. It is the two center plates on the blower wheel ticking together. Troubleshooter says he has never heard one do this before. He says that they either are quiet or they are screeching and the wheel won't work and motor stops blowing. Not mine. Mine is apparently making 'about to go bad' noises. Another 'this never happens' diagnosis for my HVAC system. I'm sick and freaking tired of it. No idea how much it will cost to buy the part or replace it.
Two condenser coils, now a blower wheel. By the time I'm done with 'this never happens' repairs I'll have spent enough for a whole new unit.
Halloween candy won't fix this problem. I need to finish work and pack for my trip and then walk on the elliptical machine instead.
Here's the latest installment for Maintainers* working their way back down from "yo-yo-ing on a bit too long of a string", as we say, or maybe just want a little extra discussion centered around getting the scales to budge downward as opposed to staying put. Join us!
*Veteran Maintainers, Wanna-be Maintainers, soon-to-be Maintainers, or anybody who's held off an unwanted pound for a day or more.
I'd like to join you here. Fall still has 6 weeks and 2 days left; I plan to MAINTAIN my 55 pound loss, which requires losing a regain of 5 - 10 pounds. With vacation and air travel bloat upon me, I'm giving myself a few days of clean, on plan eating before I check to see where I'm at.
Quick intro: I've yo-yo'd in weight since college (in other words, for the last quarter century -- yikes!), sometimes thin, sometimes not. Now I'm aiming for that old "walk the dog" trick with the yo-yo, where it just stays put in the down position. The weight is gone (again) and I am committed to keeping it that way. I have maintained now for 6 months...
Last edited by newleaf123; 11-06-2013 at 09:44 PM.
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You've been through the wringer lately and sometimes life sets your priorities for you ... and the only real choice is to roll with it until things take on a semblance of normality again.
My planner has room for only 36 tasks in a day, people - when it's full, I lock it up and hide in my sofa cushion fort.
Heidi Welcome!
