Andrea. Just something to consider though. I am 2 inches taller than you and I weigh 135-137 lbs. I don't see fat all over myself although, according to your standards, I must be close to "overweight|". I am quite happy that my body is strong and healthy and that I eat the "right stuff" most of the time.
I have flaws, both physically and in my diet. But they no longer dictate how I feel. I'm looking at the "good stuff" that I have, rather than letting the negatives bring me down.
This is coming from a person who has had a negative self-image drilled into me starting when I was a small child. I'm 56 (almost 57 now) and am finally starting to follow my OWN "inner voice", rather than react to all those clamouring around me about how imperfect I am.
????? Maybe the charts and standards aren't all that we should use for our judgments of ourselves? And maybe the judgments shouldn't be so harsh?
Dagmar, I KNOW you're right. And when I was at a "happier" weight in the low 120s, I was amazed to find that I had become MUCH less self-critical than in my "youth" (my 30s :>)). Most days, I would get up and feel completely satisfied with my physical self, and the degree to which I focused on my appearance during the day was minimal. Like for Saef and Michelle, the regain has unleashed a torrent of negative thinking that feels almost outside of myself to control. And, I believe, it is less the actual pounds of fat than the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness that I get from watching pounds come back on without being able to control the process.
Magical, the calculator I am using is supposed to be one of the most accurate ones on the web, and "approved" by the ADA: http://www.health-calc.com/diet/ener...iture-advanced. You may be confusing REE (aka RMR) and TDEE; the former is what you burn simply to keep yourself alive, and for me that number -based on the calculator- is 1304 at 120 pounds. If I then use that calculator to dial in a "sedentary" day (8 hours of sleep, 1 hour of standing/walking and 15 hours of sitting), it gives me a TDEE of 1734. Since I typically do more than that amount of activity during the day, and because I actually weigh 132 right now (which bumps my TDEE up by about 80 cals) eating 1700/day SHOULD result in a gradual, slow weight loss, NOT a skyrocketing fat-gain.
The above notwithstanding, I had my RMR (REE) measured this morning as a first step to getting a sports nutrition consult. I am, for better or worse, completely average. Measured REE was 1325, while the online calculator estimates 1359 - within the margin of error. I thought I would actually get to talk to the dietician today, but apparently it is a separate service and will be done next Wed. In the meantime, as much as my reflection pains me, I will continue to eat ~1700 cal/day while trying to be as active as possible.
Neurodoc: good luck today and yes, please let us know everything you learn. I hope that it is really useful to you. What you said about the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness with the weight regain - it is a terrible feeling.
(Also, journal podcasts?? I didn't know such a thing existed. I'm fascinated but also afraid to switch out my rockin' workout music for "Figure 2. SDF-1 expression is upregulated in bone marrow blah blah blah..." I may doze off on the treadmill mid-run.
Mudpie: yes and amen to listening to your inner voice. I am still learning to not look to external sources to fuel my self-esteem.
ICU: thanks for the advice and encouragement, and you are absolutely right. There are a number of ways that I can make sideways moves without leaving my profession altogether. I need to get over the idea that it is failure to change what I do currently for something different (that feeling of "giving up" on your work).
Hope the vegans provided something yummy!
Ah sit! DH is now eating large amounts of "healthy" nut and dried fruit mixes. I keep trying to tell him that calories from healthier foods are still calories and he's picking very high sugar/fat foods but he's not listening.
We already have all the holiday treat stuff to deal with and now he adds nuts into the mix - something I find very hard to resist.
Tomorrow's my weekly weigh-in day. It feels like it's coming toward me like something I'm about to skid into, having lost control of whatever it is I'm driving.
I'm not eating way too much, or eating any of the wrong foods, I've simply lost some of my obsessive-compulsive zeal & vigilance, and I don't feel like I have the energy or the will to go back to severe restriction.
We'll see. Maybe the number won't be as bad as I think.
My body feels like it's letting me down this week. I've had some difficult spin classes, during which I disappointed myself, and I understood today how inept I am as a runner, and though I haven't missed a workout, it's been hard dragging myself out in the cold & early darkness, and I've done a lot of later workouts because of oversleeping.
I expect the scale will tell me I'm sad and have been eating more to make myself feel better.
Magical, the calculator I am using is supposed to be one of the most accurate ones on the web, and "approved" by the ADA: http://www.health-calc.com/diet/ener...iture-advanced. You may be confusing REE (aka RMR) and TDEE; the former is what you burn simply to keep yourself alive, and for me that number -based on the calculator- is 1304 at 120 pounds. If I then use that calculator to dial in a "sedentary" day (8 hours of sleep, 1 hour of standing/walking and 15 hours of sitting), it gives me a TDEE of 1734. Since I typically do more than that amount of activity during the day, and because I actually weigh 132 right now (which bumps my TDEE up by about 80 cals) eating 1700/day SHOULD result in a gradual, slow weight loss, NOT a skyrocketing fat-gain.
Hmm, I got 1372 and 1371 respectively for two TDEE calculators (not BMR/RMR) for a woman, 5'2", 120 lbs (which is what you would be aiming for, yes?), 45 yo and sedentary.
I don't know how reliable these calculators are - I simply googled "TDEE calculator" and got those two as the first two in the results. For me, it seemed quite accurate as I maintain at 1500 sedentary (estimated) and both gave me a TDEE of 1492 at sedentary.
I had a look at yours - it was too complicated for me, lol!
Anyhow, at least you know that there isn't anything wrong with your metabolism as such since you're average. Hope you get some really good advice from the dietitian. Fingers crossed she will be able to offer a solution for you.
Andrea, if that calculation is correct, then by eating at closer to 1200 while doing regular exercise, you really would have been stressing your body. Eek. BTW, I ran my numbers on that online calculator and got over 2300 as my TDEE and almost 1500 as my BMR. Hmm....
JayZeeJay, I had things pretty well settled for a long time, and was regularly going to a gym. But life has ways of changing the game. I don't go to a gym at all anymore now, and for months I've had to work long hours and often weekends to keep up. I don't like it. In my case, it may be time to ease into retirement. But re changing jobs--I've done that, too, a few times, and it's not easy. Not to discourage you from it, but plan way ahead and have your alternatives in mind if you decide you need a change.
Mudpie, surely you can't be surprised that DH is doing this. It's an old familiar song, isn't it?
magical, I used that first calculator and got a TDEE of 1681 per day. Hmmm.
This is why I don't trust online calculators.
saef, I know how hard you work. I think you are exhausted to the point where your body just says f it, I ain't goin' there. But also, your expectations are very high, as you know. Doing later workouts because of your oversleeping needs to be seen in the context of your getting up at 4 a.m. every day to get to the gym. Take it easy on yourself, girl. You're not a failure.
I'm going away next week with my partner to Homosassa Springs and Crystal River, north of here. I am not taking any work with me. This isn't because I don't have any, but I'm just not working on vacation anymore. It will be a happy, relaxed time. We'll go visit a state park and watch manatees.
Well, what do you know. My thinking last night was overwrought and inaccurate. I was not correctly perceiving my body. My weight barely changed. The scale says so. My profile weight is accurate.
Unfortunately when I flip back my calendar, I was at 143.5 at this time last year.
Both weights are higher than what Andrea could deal with emotionally, but they're within a good range for my 51-year-old body and to maintain this, I don't need to workout more than two hours a day or restrict to the point that my bingeing returns.
In other news, I overslept again past 5 AM, so I'll have to change up my trip to the gym today. Haven't worked out yet whether it will be lunch hour or in the evening. I need to visit the grocery store, too, as there's an impending snowstorm this weekend.
Jay, yes, I am feeling tired and it's catching up with me. I'm training a new hire with a lot of intense one-on-one meetings daily, and this person sends me instant messages on & off all day long, so it's like constantly being on call and open to interruptions. (Oh, my God, having a baby is a heroic act then -- I am in awe of Jessica for voluntarily subjecting herself to such disruption!) What makes it bearable is that this will taper off as she ramps up and finds her way on her own. And that will happen sooner than it takes for a baby to grow up, thank goodness.
Jayell I don't take my work with me on vacation either. Although after about 3 days of vacation I DO tend to start going up to strangers in whatever place I'm at and asking to pat their dogs.
Jayell I don't take my work with me on vacation either. Although after about 3 days of vacation I DO tend to start going up to strangers in whatever place I'm at and asking to pat their dogs.
Dagmar
I always do this on vacation from day one! I miss my fur babies so much when I'm out of town.
My Jozi (almost 10 year old Great Dane) seems to have a new leash (ha) on life these days with her new food (Honest Kitchen). She has more energy, is more playful and is gaining weight (I didn't weigh her before-- wish I did). Can't wait for dh to see her to see if he can see the difference. He was grumbling about higher food costs but he loves her!
BMR from 1394 to 1720 (two were close at 1394 and 1396). TDEE from 1673 to 2251 (the same two were close at 1673 and 1675). All based on sedentary. Hmm. Makes one think.
Since Thanksgiving I've lost about 6 pounds (however that week I probably gained 4). I think most due to being sick earlier this week as I'm not really trying but I have noticed that I'm not eating as much, especially in the evening.
Magical - I just spent a good amount of time with Andrea's calculator and the ones that you put up. Andrea uses sedentary to describe "8 hours of sleep, 1 hour of standing/walking and 15 hours of sitting" - I think the calculator you use would call that lightly active, not sedentary, looks like it isn't accounting for the one hour standing/walking. Also, I tend to exclude the Mifflin StJeor results, as they are always drastically lower than any of the other formulas. I used Andrea's calculator to program in one of my real laze about days - I found one where I got 12 hours of sleep, took a 3 hour nap and laid around all day and it said my TDEE would be 1620. I found one of those days when I was wearing my BMF and it said I burned 1612. Pretty close.
Saef - thinking about you. Nothing great to say, just thinking about you.
My mini rant about crap in the workplace continues. I just had to dodge all of my coworkers crowding around a table full of junk to get to the restroom. It is "December Birthday" celebration. Today's assortment of junk is supposed to be "make your own trail mix"-- there are bags and everyone is filling up with everything from cookies, to chips, to god knows what. Seriously, people?
Yesterday, right before lunch I had a class in the library. The teacher was complaining to me that she's never been "so fat" in her life. I would kill for her body. Possibly literally. She is complaining that she's gaining weight because she doesn't have time for her occasional runs (her only exercise) due to taking night classes. She can't understand why she's gaining weight (um....where?). Not five minutes later she was in the break room grabbing a big piece of pound cake and laughing away. Ugh.
Ok. Rant over for now. Just had to get that off my chest.
Michelle: So, does "make your own trail mix" really entail putting cookies and potato chips into a bag? What trail are they planning to hike?
Saef: Good to hear that your weigh-in was less than anticipated. I can predict my weight within a few pounds most of the time, but there have been occasions (like yesterday) when I have been substantially off. I think that shows how my emotional state in general influences my body image, apart from how my body actually looks and feels.
Dagmar: I too spend vacations asking to pet people's dogs. In fact, that was the second sentence I learned in German (the first of course being "ein bier bitte").
I've never used those RMR/BMR/TDEE calculators. It wouldn't change how I approach weight management, and I suspect I'd just be frustrated if my body doesn't behave how it "should" (according to an oversimplified population-based algorithm).
. Just something to consider though. I am 2 inches taller than you and I weigh 135-137 lbs. I don't see fat all over myself although, according to your standards, I must be close to "overweight|". I am quite happy that my body is strong and healthy and that I eat the "right stuff" most of the time.
it! DH is now eating large amounts of "healthy" nut and dried fruit mixes. I keep trying to tell him that calories from healthier foods are still calories and he's picking very high sugar/fat foods but he's not listening.
Although after about 3 days of vacation I DO tend to start going up to strangers in whatever place I'm at and asking to pat their dogs. 
