Yes, absolutely, I could be eating more calories, because I have never counted calories, weighed or measured food, or participated in any formal program or organized way of eating.
I just changed what I was eating, how much of it, and how often.
I do have a disordered eating history that spans decades, and I wanted to end counting and food journaling, which for me can spiral into obsessiveness in record-keeping. I have enough stuff to be obsessive over, I wanted to free myself from some potentially dangerous areas. (Although I'm not mathematical, so my obsessiveness was unlikely to manifest in that way.)
So I don't really deserve the label of "scrupulousness," as I've been trying to eat more like a normal person, and probably the price of that has been this slight regain, mitigated slightly by all the strength training that has changed my body shape somewhat.
Chéries, chéris - just wanted to tell you that I'm going to France for a week or so. The weather will be better than here. The food will be good. I'm going to focus on personal glamour, portion control, and fruit and veg. We'll have a small fridge so fruit and veg should be OK. Portion control - I'll try hard. Personal glamour - my wardrobe is minimal and doesn't fit me very well so I'll be using that as an encouragement to be sensible with food.
I'm looking forward to it enormously. Should I take my swimming costume?
Silverbirch, my semi-recent experience with France (summer of 2012) was that portion control was not terribly difficult (serving sizes are usually smallish), but beware food ingredients. No fruit or veg worth a d*mn unless you buy them at a market or order a salad; bistro/restaurant meals use veg as a garnish, typically soaked in oil, butter or cream. And, FWIW, I'd only take the bathing suit if you're going to a hotel with an indoor and/or heated pool. Even in France, it's in the lower 60s by late October.
Chéries, chéris - just wanted to tell you that I'm going to France for a week or so. The weather will be better than here. The food will be good. I'm going to focus on personal glamour, portion control, and fruit and veg. We'll have a small fridge so fruit and veg should be OK. Portion control - I'll try hard. Personal glamour - my wardrobe is minimal and doesn't fit me very well so I'll be using that as an encouragement to be sensible with food.
I'm looking forward to it enormously. Should I take my swimming costume?
ICUwishing: how are you handling these hard workouts in the evening? I remember you saying that falling asleep was hard afterward - is it still? I've never been able to fall asleep soon after hard exercise. And I completely understand about dealing with "increased hunger intensity". I've always found it hard to accurately increase food intake without going overboard when I engage in much more strenuous exercise than usual.
Saef: thanks for your reply about the wedding dress thing. It really shocked me that I was so hurt by the experience - I thought I was well beyond caring what strangers think of me. You said it so perfectly - it is craving the stamp of approval from other women. I could hear my mother's voice when I looked in the mirror and saw the bulges. Which is ironic, because when I was a teenager and gaining weight, she would be so furious at me for "getting fat" that she wouldn't speak to me for long periods of time.
Oh Jay. You hit the nail on the head about your mom. She must have been related to my mom. My mom called me fat amongst other horrible names. I still blame her for much of my eating issues. And you are far from heavy! I'm sure you look amazing and will look great in whatever dress you choose! I like Allison's idea (I think it was hers) of ordering dresses online through Zappos or another company. You can order a bunch and just keep the best!
When clothes shopping with my mom, she'd almost always say "you'd need to be skinny to wear that." If that didn't imply that I was fat, I don't know what did.
When clothes shopping with my mom, she'd almost always say "you'd need to be skinny to wear that." If that didn't imply that I was fat, I don't know what did.
Is there ANYONE who hasn't been criticized by their mom? I think, for a time, that moms were told (by the media and "child care experts" mostly) that they HAD to criticize us to teach us stuff. I'm glad a lot of that has changed.
BTW my mom struggled all her life with being overweight so my being so was encouraged. My mom criticized other aspects of my appearance, the worst and most repeated comments being
"too bad you got your dad's little piggy eyes" and "it's terrible that you have such bad skin". The intensity and frequency of the slurs increased with the amount of liquor she consumed.
JZJ - The sleeping after swimming is getting marginally better, thanks! I knew this was going to be an issue and it might be the biggest "con" in the list. Late-evening workouts definitely are not ideal. :P It's gotta be better than what I was doing, which was ... not a whole heck of a lot.
Good grief, I had no idea that nasty moms were that common! I was born into a pretty pudgy family and that is exactly why my parents started me in swimming at 6. I do not recall one single negative comment about my appearance from either parent. Friends ... different story! But for some odd reason, all the kids I grew up and interacted with on a regular basis were skinny little twigs. Me - I'm "built for distance". I knew early on that skinny jeans, empire waists, and padded shoulders were not going to be part of my world.
DS has his first high school performance with the swing choir tonight! They're only doing 3 pieces since it's an early-season showcase for all four of the school's choirs, but they will close the show as the "top performers". I'm geeked up for him!
I was never told I was fat as a child. For one thing, I wasn't. My mother was overweight, and we used to tease her. Now I am paying for that childhood cruelty.
I hated clothes shopping and was not stylish. My mother was a flamboyant sort who loved bright colors and pretty things. We had sad times together just before the start of school every year. I was just not the feminine little girl she probably had hoped for. But it was not an issue about size.
But for some odd reason, all the kids I grew up and interacted with on a regular basis were skinny little twigs. Me - I'm "built for distance". I knew early on that skinny jeans, empire waists, and padded shoulders were not going to be part of my world.
