saef~years ago I was diagnosed with a heart "condition" and my doctor told me to lay off the caffeine. I did. It went away. I started back on coffee and it comes back from time to time. And my BFF had a scare last year. Her doctor said she had something wrong and scheduled her for an echocardiogram as well as a few other tests. She has severe heart troubles in her family, so she was really concerned. Everything came back perfectly normal. I'm willing to bet the extra caffeine in your day yesterday is the culprit. Good luck on the test!

Saef: ditto with hoping everything goes well with the echo, and that there is nothing of concern. The comment from the medical assistant is definitely one of those that is seemingly very benign (and really a compliment, I think - she is impressed that you are aware of your body, your weight and your health) but can have unintended meaning to us weight-sensitives.

Saef - I have a minor heart murmur as well, not diagnosed until after my weight loss and I had started running. It is nothing, they told me that some 80% of people have one.

Self-discipline test happening right now!

We are having a joint farewell party here at work for several employees, one of whom is in my group. It is a few doors down from my office. I brought in a bunch of (healthy) food for the potluck. For lunch, I ate veggies with hummus and a tiny veggie sandwich, and several pita chips. All good so far. Here comes the test: one of the supervisors just brought in three HUGE cakes, all from a really expensive bakery in town. So these are not supermarket cakes, they are the kind covered in fruit and chocolate curls and cream and full of decadence. And there is easily enough cake for ten pieces per person, at least.

I immediately came down to my office to write this. I can't hide in here because I need to go back to this party to say something later. So, I am making the commitment here in front of you all that I will go back in and NOT have the calorie-laden cakes that everyone else is currently snarfing down. You are my witnesses.

Me , too.diagnosed years ago and Doctor says nothing to be concerned about, right now

JayZee, it is many hours later. I know it's too late to root for you, but I bet you succeeded anyway.

Saef, in medical school, the definition of a heart murmur was "what you hear if you're actually listening through the stethoscope" :>) The implication was, it is very common if you listen carefully. Mild ones are quite harmless.

After yesterday's binge, I'm back on plan today. Unfortunately, by my calculations, if the difference (for me) between weight loss and weight maintenance is 300 cal, I need to diet for 4 days simply to recoup the weight I had before yesterday. If I have a 1200 cal binge on average only 1 day in 7, it will take about 6 months to lose 6 pounds :>(. I am feeling exceptionally bitter and frustrated right now.

Saef, count me in with the ranks of the "faintly murmuring". I think the only time it ever came into play was when I was applying to the Air Force Academy in high school, and even then, it wasn't anything considered a deal-breaker. It seems to also follow the observation, "Hey, you've got two legs!" Which goes along with what Andrea says.

JayZeeJay - I hope you were successful with your cake avoidance! Events like that are where I play up my artificial coloring sensitivities to the hilt. In the rare event that something decadent and handcrafted still meets my criteria, I will be the one who takes the small piece, and then disappears to eat it slowly and reverently.

Andrea, I'm sorry you're having to work with such a narrow margin, and I wish I could offer up something (anything) that you could try. It's a b!tch to make changes when days are highly programmed with work, kids, home, etc - everybody needs their piece of you and it leaves very little time to carve out a niche to do the necessary experimenting to get your own needs met. I totally understand bitterness and frustration.

I'm still above last week's average, three days into the new week. I will have to cut myself a little slack with the sunburn and the swimming. On a real control plan, the sunburn is considered a "flyer" - something unusual to the process and not likely to recur. The swimming is, however, a true process adjustment and now that I'm 46, I really don't know what that will do over the short term. Watch and wait ... and try to keep all the other factors close to the same. I took some "before" pictures yesterday with the expectation that if the scale never changes, I'll still be able to see some outward signs of progress before the end of the year.

Jay-- hope you succeeded. Those are the most difficult challenges sometimes!

Andrea-- I understand your bitterness. I was (am) trying to get a few (okay-- I'd take one or two) pounds off before we go to Napa this weekend. I know that I'll indulge and even though it is only overnight, the damage I do will take me months to come off. My weight yesterday was up even after being a perfect angel so I was just cranky. Today it's down. I'm tired of the roller coaster.

Andrea - I have the same narrow range, it is very frustrating.

Thanks all for the support. I did manage to not eat any cake. This felt like more of a victory than usual - my willpower did not feel very powerful, after a series of 14-hour days and some family crises. I don't usually feel horribly tempted by food at work. Yesterday was a rough exception.

You are smart to have an out that doesn't require you to tell everyone over and over that you actually are NOT going to have cake. People yesterday were eating large pieces then carrying giant plates of more cake back to their offices. It became that situation where you make other people feel awkward or guilty for their cake-binge because you are not joining them - several people said "well, I know I shouldn't be doing this either, but oh well", or "I don't care", etc. I felt a bit bad - it's hard to not appear judgmental of others in that instance, even though I really was only thinking about myself

The part about taking a piece to eat "slowly and reverently" hit home with me: this is probably a hangover from my binge eating years, but I only feel like decadent foods are worth the calories if I eat them by myself (or rarely with my fiancé). If I eat them "with an audience", I do not enjoy them. It worries me a bit that I still feel this way.

JayZeeJay, congrats on successfully navigating the cake, and even more so, the peer pressure attempts! I get the worry part, too - I've gone a few rounds with eating in secret myself. With something like the aforementioned piece of cake, it falls into the category of portion control for me. I eat a little of something particularly indulgent, but I make a point of throwing 110% of my attention at it to derive the absolute maximum enjoyment from the minimum serving. Being around people becomes a distraction and then I end up annoyed that I ate whatever it was too fast, or I missed a flavor or scent nuance - it's gone and then I almost grieve over it, because not going back for more has become an ingrained habit. Funny, I never thought I had any strange food rituals, but now that I've written it down it's very clear that I do.

Well, I went to my second swim practice last night. When it was over, the coach actually apologized to me for that particular workout happening to fall on my second time in the pool. It feels great to be back with a team and I'm really looking forward to seeing what regular workouts do to/for me. Even if I did wake up twice last night totally drenched in sweat ... nighttime workouts are not my favorite.

First week and the three free workouts accomplished. I actually did get up early and make it to the Saturday morning workout. The rest of the day ended up passing in a bit of blur - I do remember sitting in the "comfy" chair, sort of staring and drooling, waiting for the coffee to work and yet knowing it wasn't going to.

I was up .3 for the week, mostly due to a few high days following the Florida weekend. I'm optimistic about this week. I have a 4-mile "Run4Wine" on Thursday evening with my girlfriends, so I have to add the running back in a little sooner than I would prefer. I feel like I'm doing a little too much too fast for my age, but nothing hurts and I think I'm getting enough recovery time. I think my body knows that if it doesn't let me do this, I will go back to being a sofa spud!

The Run4Wine sounds fascinating, Becky.

Wow, I think we all must be struggling with this weight loss business right now, seeing how virtually no one is posting.

I managed to stay on plan with eating for an entire week after last Monday's binge, then had another fierce one last night, exactly a week later. Now I wish I had actually tracked more of them, because I'm wondering if 2 Monday nights in a row is coincidence, or a real pattern - I typically don't notice what days I binge. I'm pretty sure that what triggered it is my usual trifecta of feeling sorry for myself, easy access to foods I feel I am being deprived of, and family stress (kids needing too much attention/loudness/ arguing).

I am so good at moderating my intake when I am being watched, especially by people outside my own family. Maybe I should train a video camera on myself after dinner every night? I swear, if I could even arrange for DH to not let me out of his sight all evening, I wouldn't do this. Realistically, it's not possible- he has errands to run, work to do, kids to wrangle just like me. AUGGH.

Yup.

In my mind I'm "tolerating" this gain and inability to lose with the rationalization that the longer I maintain where I am and not gain more then when I really get motivated the weight will come off easier (at least the first few). I know it really doesn't make sense, but that's what I'm telling myself. Am I lying to myself? IDK