I am starting with Beck again--did it a couple years ago. I think the difference then was a belief that I had to do it perfectly or be a worthless failure, and since I couldn't do it perfectly, I stopped. I know this is ironic, considering its designed to combat distortions in thinking! But those old beliefs are very powerful. I'm starting again though, from a better place, though the beliefs about food are more entrenched than any of the other stuff I've dealt with. I look forward to checking in here.
Coaches/Buddies: Seriously, I can't believe I did it again. I posted a whole long post (personals and all!) and then as I finished responding to BillBlueEyes post, I started trying to remember the last part of what he had written, but couldn't remember. As I hit, "submit reply" I remembered and it was too late! I had forgotten to save my post and sure enough-- poof-- it was gone
So, here is my best attempt at replicating the missing post.
I was feeling very blah (although a bit better now that I've had some coffee ) I realized though, that there has been so much going on the past week or so. As much as I loved having my dad visit, it was still difficult because I'm worried about his health both physically (he's gained a lot of weight since my brother died and he's not healthy to begin with) and emotionally. There was also the whole dynamic of him spending time with Ross (my ex) and the kids-- because my dad is more of a father to Ross than his own dad ever was. I also had a number of serious talks with my dad about the divorce agreement, etc. I haven't gotten much sleep in days and oh yeah, I'm trying to purchase a house. So, I'm stressed. And typing it out has helped me realize that I have a very legitimate reason to feel stressed and not "on top of things."
All that being said, I'm still not doing too badly.
Yesterday, I logged everything I ate and ended the day with about a 400 calorie deficit
I went to my sibling loss support group
So far today I have weighed in (-1) , checked in here (x2 since I lost my original post) and spit out some pasta I found myself unconsciously putting in my mouth while preparing some for my daughter
Ate my breakfast slowly and mindfully
ChinaMaine: Ugh, I know the feeling of missing meds, sorry to hear you are dealing with that. I'm thinking about you today and hoping the transition back to work goes smoothly.
I haven't actually made the Response Card yet (), but I did think about it- lol!
twilit tera: I continue to be impressed and motivated by your persistence with the program! Congratulations on all that you've accomplished so far. How are you doing with people noticing the weight loss? The reason I ask because it's been a difficult issue for me in the past. Especially when it's other people who need to work on their health and weight-- I have this feeling like I'm abandoning them. I'm doing much better with that this time around though.
Thanks for the suggestion about picking a specific time of day to post. I am going to try first thing in the morning (although of course after doing that this morning and losing my whole post, I didn't have to re-do it then!)
wndranne: Wow! Just wow! How incredibly inspiring you are. I've contemplated doing a tri at some point in my life, but I'm not a strong swimmer and your description of the guys trying to swim over you was a bit much for me to think about right now What an incredible way to celebrate your 40th.
Hope your migraine goes away quickly!
RobinW: I so hear you on the all/nothing thing. Congrats on your loss and yeah for the end of a plateau.
GreenvilleBeth: Congrats on giving yourself credit. I always seem to struggle with that one, but posting here forces me to do it-- another great reason to come here daily!
I know what you mean about not wanting to stop eating (I personally struggle a lot with that because I've already "counted" those calories) even though you're no longer hungry. I'm thinking this too will get better with practice (I certainly hope so!) Maybe making a Response Card to read in those situations would be helpful.
BillBlueEyes: Kudos to you for not eating the 2nd ear of corn! Also, I really like that point about the first bite-- I think I'll try to remember that one. Nice job also on not supplementing your lunch and realizing that it's okay to be a little hungry.
I have been saving this post in another file AND I will be doing the [CONTROL] A/C thing this time too! (AGH!)
I really appreciate you sharing your routine and thought process behind it. It's also really good to know how much time you put aside for it, because I think that's part of my problem; I think, "oh, I'll just take a few minutes and post." I will continue to work on my own routine.
I love being home! Don’t get me wrong, I love to visit my Mom too, but there’s no place like home…
Food – op, Exercise – i exercised 32 minutes today which isn’t quite op, but it’s cool with me. Credit!
Fatigue - 1.2 (1=Felt Great, 5=Extreme Fatigue). I’m happy to say that I feel fine today, and I worked 10 hrs today. At my Mom’s we were active all day every day. There was no cardio involved, but we didn’t stay still very long. In my usual workday, I stay still all day long. So my fatigue may just have been due to that change in activity level.
Anne It’s fantastic you did the triathalon on your b’day. You are amazing!
Tera Folks noticed your ever-shrinking-frame! And ignoring the pizza in your Mom’s fridge is what got you to this skinnier place, Credit!
Hmmm – your peak pain level is hanging in at 6 pretty steadily (if memory serves). I hope you aren’t feeling too badly. I’m glad you rested. My poor Mom’s arthritis is really acting up recently. And she has some other hip pain, that may or may not be arthritis. Based on your success, I suggested a chiro for her hip issues. We’ll see if she goes for it. She never got in the habit of going to doctors, I’m not sure she’ll do it…
Robin Congrats on relaxing the all or none thinking! WOW down 7.5 lbs!! re eating when hungry – I’m a big fan of doing what works for you. I think there’s rarely a one-size-fits-all solution.
Re working through mud – uggh. I hope the day got better…
Trish (pattygirl63) I’m glad that Beck has changed you, worked for you.
Greenville Beth Down 1.8 lbs Kudos for taking your time through the skills. They are the core of the program. Re wanting to eat when you are not hungry, I think the exercises in skill 6 will help. Hope I’m right!
You are so right about work always being there. It took me decades to learn that. But I do like to push through and work the 9-10 hour days a few times a year, when there really is a good reason to do so.
Bill Credit! – using an unopened can of sardines to prove that ‘Hunger is not an emergency.’ That’s doing Beck old school!
one by one decluttering – credit! A reasonable plan to move in 3 months – credit! It’s great you’re choosing real food and getting exercise every day. There will be more to follow the 2 lbs you just lost.
It’s funny – I used to love potato skins. Yesterday the only GF option I had at an airport was potato skins, and they just sounded too disgusting for words… After choosing real foods for a few months, the fattier, processed foods will become less appealing. (Not that I don’t eat pizza every 2 weeks – I’m not a saint!)
McBeth Can you get a Beck book at your local library, just until your own books come in?
Nuxmaga all-or-none-thinking is so common, and so seductive. It’s something I have to confront almost every day – and I’ve been using CBT for about 4 years now. I’m glad you’re back and I think this time will be different.
Kim lost post i always write my posts in a word or text doc and I never have to worry about losing it all to the 3fc gods – just a thought…
It’s good you take stock occasionally and recognize you are going through an awful lot. I hope the sibling support group was helpful.
It’s great you logged all your food, and had a 400 calorie deficit. And dropping a lb is great.
Hi BillBlueEyes--
I learned of Beck in 2007 when the first book came out, and she did an interview on the radio. I came across this thread while checking out all the possibilities on 3FC, and was pleased that there was one for Beck.
Thank you for the warm welcome!
Hello, All. Today was Day Six on the program - Select a Diet Coach.
I don't really have anyone in my personal life that I feel comfortable with asking to fill that role at this time, so I am going to use this board, for now, to fill the void.
Today was an interesting day. For some reason, I really wanted to go off plan and eat a bunch of junk. I don't know why. I'm coming to think the "why" isn't as important as having ways to cope with the urge. I simply didn't care. I know, I really do care, but it is amazing how strongly I can convince myself, without any real effort on my part, that I don't care.
I was at the store, so finally, I told myself that if I stuck with my plan I would buy myself some non-food treat. I think a big part of why I over eat and eat junk is because I feel like I have nothing else to look forward to and eating "fun stuff" gives me something to look forward to. I figured that if I could buy myself something non-food to look forward to this evening, that might work. It seemed to this time. I just got myself some drawing paper that I needed.
The odd thing is that I really do have things to look forward to. I paint and I've had several shows since the start of this year, and I just won a juried art show a couple of weeks ago, and I have a show starting a week from Friday. I am even starting a new job next week. The perfect job for me, actually. I'm going to be the new Business Manager for a professional theatre in town. I have a degree in accounting, but I also have a BA in Creative Writing and I went to grad school to get a MFA in Playwriting. It's not every day a person can run into a job that needs accounting and theatre skills!
The point is, I do have things to look forward to, so I don't know why I feel like I don't. The truth is, for a long time I didn't. All of these good things have come about because I've forced myself out the door to get involved in the Arts community here. Perhaps, my brain hasn't caught up to my new reality.
Credit me for: sticking to plan, reading my ARC, telling myself several times today that hunger is not an emergency.
I am also going to start to put my daily weight on my posts and the up / down of the scale. I'm doing that because I find it uncomfortable to do so. I think it will help me be accountable.
Nuxmaga - I'm new here as well.
MaryBeth - as well!
ChinaMaine - I'm glad the day went well for you and that you're feeling okay. I know what you mean about being home. I love to travel, but there is no feeling like returning home. Credit for the exercise!
Bennyhannamama - It sounds like you've had a great Beck day! Credit on the 1 lb down!
Onebyone - A start is all you need. Sounds like you got one with getting rid of the books and such...credit!
Twilit Tera - Sometimes we need a day of rest for whatever reason. I hope you enjoyed it. Credit for realizing it was needed and taken.
RobinW - I hope you have that great day and worked through the mud.
BillBlueEyes - Major credit on the not eating more just because you could. It is certainly something I continue to struggle with. It is so helpful to see someone else do it! It gives me hope that one day I will get there.
Coaches/Buddies My weight is still up from the weekend's festivities and the usual electrolyte rebalancing after a race. The headache is now, finally, completely gone after about 24 hours. Today I went mountain biking in the morning, and did an aquathlon (swim/run race) this evening. Tomorrow is a rest day.
Things still feel nuts around here. We are going to the mountains for the weekend, so I have to do all of that tomorrow since I've been too busy to deal with it at all yet.
After the weekend, I'm going to stop running around like a crazy person and get some more focus back on my weight management. I sort of feel like a pinball right now.
Beth Welcome back! Glad to see you with any username. Sounds like you did a great job with eating slowly. Later you tackle leaving food and stopping before it's gone. One thing at a time.
Bill Mmm, corn. Nice work on getting to eat it twice. A bonus for leaving some food on your plate! Thanks for the sleep wishes. I did get some nice sleep, at the cost of lost work time. Oh Well.
RobinW Sorry about your food hangover for no reason. Weird. You might see if it is tied to any specific thing if it happens again.
Tera Hurray for giving yourself permission to rest when you need it. That is a tough lesson to learn.
onebyone Congrats on a solid plan for the summer and small but concrete steps to get your place cleaned out for your move.
Mary Beth My input is to come hang out with us for a couple weeks until your book comes. You'll find you need Coaches and/or Buddies. We can do that.
Nuxmanga I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you need to do the Beck system perfectly or not at all. I have to remind myself that some is better than nothing. I think I have it on a response card somewhere. I should read that. Tomorrow.
Kim Sorry about your lost post, but glad you did a do-over. for your complicated family situation.
ChinaMaine Welcome home.
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. I feel like I'm past my little snit, whatever it was. Turning 40, stressing about the tri. All good now. Just need to get work all settled (making progress) and it'll be back to whatever passes for normal around here. Once again, I may be scarce this weekend, but I'll be around Monday.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Rushed to the gym after work even though heading out to a book group; CREDIT moi. Watched a guy doing chest presses with 100 pound dumbbells as I was using 35 pounders. Thank goodness I don't compare, doesn't cross my mind, no, not me. Or not very much. Or too often. Oh Well.
Planned to have those sardines from yesterday with lunch, but forgot until about half way done. Then, for the second time, chose not to have them; CREDIT moi. Seem a bit much to take credit two days in a row for the same can of sardines. And it remains in my bookcase at the office so I might just get another opportunity.
Passed up the opportunity for dense, chocolaty brownie like things and chose fruit salad instead; CREDIT moi. Had golden beets, perhaps for the first time ever - tasty, like red beets, not sure that I could tell the difference if blindfolded.
onebyone - Kudos for ridding yourself of excess stuff and giving yourself credit for it. Sounds like a solid plan for the summer.
Thanks for the insight, "We really do eat with our eyes." Neat thought.
Robin (RobinW) - Ouch for the food hangover without the joy of first getting stuffed. Scolds to me for carrying the thought that getting stuffed is a joy. Oh Well. Congrats for having a loaded whiteboard of business to do even if working through mud is the price you have to pay.
Anne (wndranne) - Yay for bursting out of your stress/BIGbirthday/triathlon/migraine fog into a double athletic event in one day. You da Energizer Bunny all right.
Good news that some progress is happening at work; hope you find a path there.
Tera (twilit tera) - Yay for so on plan. Kudos for giving yourself permission to rest when needed and for searching for strategies to get moving.
ChinaMaine - Congrats that your fatigue level is down. Kudos for doing your exercise on top of a ten hour work day.
Love the thought, "That’s doing Beck old school!" in reference to a two year old program, LOL.
Kim (bennyhannamama) - Ouch for the lack of sleep on top of the stresses associated with your father's visit. Kudos for taking care of yourself with your sibling loss support group.
Yep, I concur, you're not only "still not doing too badly," from here it looks like you're doing well.
bucket (bucketwithapurpose) - Waving. Continuing to send supportive thoughts.
Beth (Greenville Beth) - I accept your request to be one of your Diet Coaches and ask you to be one of mine also.
Kudos for wrestling with the "I don't care" Sabotaging Thought, and for such a creative strategy to bring it to the mat. That devilishly clever Sabotaging Thought, "I have nothing to look forward to" reminds me of onebyone's statement that anything worth fighting for fight back.
Mary Beth (mcbeth) - This is just the right place to post for introduction.
You can start the Beck diet for Life using the workbook; at least one person posting regularly only uses the workbook - doesn't even own the book. Just start marching through the Program days. It's neat that you'll be marching along at about the same place as Nuxmaga.
Nuxmaga - Kudos for identifying Distorted Thinking; it's such a big thing to be able to step outside ourselves to make observations.
And Kudos for starting in the second time.
Readers -
Quote:
Success Skill 9 Get Back on Track - Right Away . . .
To help yourself respond quickly to mistakes, I'd like you to use a Cheat sheet (page 104) every time you eat unplanned food. It will help you view mistakes as learning experiences rather than catastrophes. Instead of feeling guilty and bad about yourself when you make a mistake, you will be able to benefit from the experience. The Cheat Sheet will help you evolve from thinking, I've blown it ... I might as well start over tomorrow, to thinking, Big deal, I made one mistake ... I deserve a lot of credit for stopping now ... This is a good sign that I'll be successful in the future. . . .
Yesterday was slightly more productive than the day before, using the "do something whenever I get up" strategy, which I intend to continue. I seem to have caught a mild cold from B. (isn't it wonderful to have someone to share EVERYTHING with?)
Even still, I will be on plan today.
onebyone: for taking decluttering steps. every bit counts. for staying on track with food, water and exercise!
Mary Beth: Congrats on ordering the books! You've found the Beck thread. While there's no "right" way to introduce yourself to the forum, making an introduction here is a good way to get started sharing Beck insights.
I understand wanting to get started while your motivation level is high. For what it's worth, you've already gotten started, just by reaching out to folks here.
Nuxmaga: Most of us have to admit needing to combat the all or nothing attitude. That kind of perfectionist thinking held me back in many areas. Congrats on identifying it and working on a more productive framework.
Kim: You don't have a legitimate reason to feel stressed -- you have SEVERAL! for being gentle with yourself through this trying period. I wish you tons of luck with getting a house. It's a bit of a dilemma... with all the other stressors, emotionally this might not be the best time for making such a major purchase, but this is such a great market to be buying in. I hope that you find just what you're looking for, at just the right price.
for all the broccoli! Especially spitting out unplanned food you'd automatically put in your mouth!
I feel pretty good about people noticing the weight loss. Of course, with people who need to do the same, I'm always hoping that my success will inspire them. my thinking is that:
I'm responsible first and foremost for my own health and wellbeing. Others are responsible for theirs.
If I'm successful, others may follow the example. If I don't try, they'll have no example to follow.
That approach seems to be working with my Aunt! She wrote me yesterday to say that she was recommitting herself to the BDS. She's made a start before, but I get the impression that this time is different. I think it's because, at last, she's emailing me mostly about her insights and breakthroughs rather than her trials and setbacks. I've invited her to join us, but she's never been much for online community.
ChinaMaine: for the OP-ness, and hoorah that your fatigue level is down again! Sorry to hear about your mom's pain. Good luck with encouraging her to seek help. When dealing with chronic pain, it's easy to get into the mindstate that the pain is a permanent feature - that this is just the way it is.
I seem to need adjusting fairly frequently. C stopped doing the myofascial therapy, since teaching B how to do it seems to have worked for that, but the longer I go between adjustments the higher my pain gets.
I'm looking forward to finding out what I can from the Methodist health system.
Beth: Very interesting insights over your temptation and I just don't care. (Congratulations on your career success by the way!)
It sounds to me, like perhaps (and forgive me if I'm reading too much into it) you are not in the habit of doing nice things for yourself "just because". I think getting yourself the art supplies was a fantastic idea. So maybe, to prepare in advance, you can think of a list of caring things you can do for yourself, then do them regularly, before the desire to eat kicks in?
Bill: It may have been the same can of sardines, but it was a different occasion. So yeah, you x2!
I'm working on my Advantages Response Card. I had a long list, but I realized it's stuff I think I "should" make a priority rather than what really motivates me.
So now it's down to:
1. Choosing what I want to eat rather than what my old beliefs, thoughts and history tell me. It's ok to take of myself, and have a sense of peace.
2. Keeping my cholesterol down so I don't have to be on a statin drug.
3. Fitting into my clothes better. That feels good.
Beth Congrats on your job with your unique skill set! I have an MFA in Creative Writing/Poetry, although now I am doing visual art. It does take awhile for my mind to catch up with positive changes in my life--it feels unfamiliar and at times scary, but ultimately good.
Coaches/Buddies: Yesterday was a rough day and I made it worse by getting to bed way too late again I was dealing with trying to purchase the house all day and my daughter came home from school sick. The stress of trying to buy a house on my own, reading contracts, etc. dealing with a Realtor I don't really like, etc.
Logged everything I ate
Ended with about a 300 calorie deficit
Read my Advantages Decks x1
WI-down 1.25 lbs. Made a plan, but I still haven’t gotten my cards back by my coffee machine, so they didn’t get read again today. Food – op, Exercise – op. Credit!
Fatigue - 1.0 (1=Felt Great, 5=Extreme Fatigue).
I got some bad news today – my hubbie lost his job. I’m a bit blue even though I know with some significant belt tightening we can make it work for 6 or more months.
Greenville Beth I use this group as my diet coach – it has worked well for me. And we’re glad to help! It’s an interesting insight that you reward yourself with food. It was a great idea to proactively reward yourself with non-food. Credit!
Anne Sounds like you are getting back to normal – for a day or so… Credit for the aquathon, and enjoy your rest day.
Bill Credit for good food choices, and for squeezing exercise into a busy day.
Tera for the lowered pain level, and for losing 2 lbs. Credit for calorie counting and swimming. When is that Methodist appt again?
Robin ouch for wine and chips. (although I’ve been there, done that…) I hope work calms down soon.
Nuxmaga Credit for creating an advantages list that really will motivate you.
Today's weight: 233.0 down 2.0 lbs First goal: 231
I'm down two pounds today which is great, but I expect my weight to go up in the morning. My sister and I go out on Thursday nights and even when I am on plan, as I was tonight, the scale always goes up the next day. I'm assuming it is water weight due to the sodium in the food.
Today was Day 7 - Arrange Your Enviroment - I didn't actually have anything I needed to arrange. I live alone and don't have any junk food in the house as I've been dieting for awhile. Besides, when I bring junk food into the house it ususally ends up in my stomach soon afterwards! I had also already gotten a smaller plate to eat off of.
I do start my new job next week, so I have no idea what the food situation is there. Since I have been teaching college part-time, I haven't had to worry about it. I go teach my classes and then come home. I'm hoping food won't be an issue at my new job.
First off, I just wanted to give everyone a "great job". Everyone seems to be doing so well. Credit All ! I feel like I know all of you better than you know me, because before I joined the group I read all the posts for May.
ChinaMaine - Yeah on the 1.25 lbs. That's great considering you've been at your mothers. It's always harder to stay on plan when you're not at home. At least for me! Credit I'm sorry to hear about your husband's job. Hopefully, that will turn around quickly.
Bennyhannamama - Buying a home is always difficult. It is quite the emotional process for the buyer and seller. Credit on doing so well under all the stress. I hope the little one is better soon.
Nuxmaga (Margaret) - My mother's name is Margaret. Do people call you Peggy as well? It seems to be a nickname for Margaret. Don't ask me why! She goes by both. Credit on the MFA in Poetry. I'm actually, currently working on a MFA in Fiction - I must have a death wish. Also, credit on the ARC. Mine has a list of 20 things...I tend to be long winded!
RobinW - It happens to everyone. Here's to the rest of your evening / day going well!
Twilit Tera - Sorry to hear about the cold. That's never fun! You seem to be doing really well on your program. I've noticed that you've really been losing at a steady rate. Credit Thanks for the good words about the job. It truly fell into my lap.
BillBlueEyes - Major credit on going to the gym even with other plans. It is so easy to find reasons not to go. Passing up a brownie thing...I'm beginning to think you're Superman! Super credit!
I find it interesting that you don't enjoy lifting weights. For me, I hate cardio. I find it so boring that I can barely get through it. I've always enjoyed, however; lifting weights, not that I ever do mind you.
Also, thank-you for the support as a diet coach. I'd be honored to be one of yours as well.
Anne - Turning 40 isn't so bad. 30 almost killed me, but 40 wasn't to bad. Major credit on the mountain biking and all the exercise! I love to bike. When I lived in Florida, I rode about 30 miles a day. Here in SC there is no where to ride that I feel I can ride without getting run over. I've never been into the mountain biking. I like a nice flat surface! It was great in Florida as I lived on the beach. I do miss the bike riding! Again, great job!
New to Forum
) I realized though, that there has been so much going on the past week or so. As much as I loved having my dad visit, it was still difficult because I'm worried about his health both physically (he's gained a lot of weight since my brother died and he's not healthy to begin with) and emotionally. There was also the whole dynamic of him spending time with Ross (my ex) and the kids-- because my dad is more of a father to Ross than his own dad ever was. I also had a number of serious talks with my dad about the divorce agreement, etc. I haven't gotten much sleep in days and oh yeah, I'm trying to purchase a house. So, I'm stressed. And typing it out has helped me realize that I have a very legitimate reason to feel stressed and not "on top of things." 
and ended the day with about a 400 calorie deficit 
What an incredible way to celebrate your 40th. 
Home again, Home again, jiggety-jig!
It’s fantastic you did the triathalon on your b’day. You are amazing!
And ignoring the pizza in your Mom’s fridge is what got you to this skinnier place, Credit!
Kudos for taking your time through the skills. They are the core of the program. Re wanting to eat when you are not hungry, I think the exercises in skill 6 will help. Hope I’m right!
Can you get a Beck book at your local library, just until your own books come in?
i always write my posts in a word or text doc and I never have to worry about losing it all to the 3fc gods – just a thought… 
It gives me hope that one day I will get there.
for your complicated family situation. 
Can't wait for the weekend...
Also, credit on the ARC. Mine has a list of 20 things...I tend to be long winded!