Amie - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. That is something I have done my whole life. I'm getting better, but I still have times when I feel like nothing helps but what I stuff in my mouth. A therapist I had asked me once did it help my anger (or whatever feeling) to get FAT at the person I was mad at. I still try to remember if what I'm upset about is worth getting fat at. Sometimes the answer is "yes", but a lot of times it's "no", so that's progress. Now that I'm older (and retired with plenty of time) I try to write it out, hopefully before I eat, but even if I do eat, I still write. I am always surprised at what comes out when I'm writing. It's usually never about what I think I'm feeling, but usually long held hurts and beliefs about myself.
I hope all you midwesterners are staying safe. Weather things are so scary to me - I guess it's because it's something you have absolutely no control over (and I'm a person who is all about control). Everyone take care.
Hello everyone! It's been a little crazy here...I live in Manhattan, Kansas where one of the tornadoes hit on Wednesday night. Our neighborhood was completely unaffected, but it's a small enough city that you don't have to go very far to see the damage. And it's amazing to think, wow, that's right by my work, or that's right by DH's work. It's such a relief that no one in Manhattan died, but so sad that people in nearby towns have.
Amie, I saw what you wrote about the struggle with your SO. That reminds me of a relationship I was in. We dated for four years and lived together and everything, but things were pretty bad the last year. We both were unhappy but we were too afraid to break up. But at least your SO agreed to work through some of your issues. Things with my BF didn't work out, and the day I finally ended it I wanted him to go to couples counseling with me and he refused. So there's hope for your relationship, just in the fact that he's trying.
Now, I have a confession to make. I've been doing SlimFast this week. It's the anti-intuitive eating. I'm just doing it for this week because I've gotten so off-track. I haven't been eating intuitively. I've been stuffing my face and not stopping to think about what I'm doing. Once I finish my six-day supply that I purchased, I am hoping to have a new real appreciation for food and savor it, and eat slowly.
I also got a few new toys this week: A coffee pot for my office, and a breadmaker for my house. I admit to being a bit of a coffee addict. I drink it every morning before work and I usually want more at work. But I don't want to drink the office version of coffee, and I can't afford coffeehouse coffee on a daily basis. So I'm pleased with this purchase. I brew a cup and I'm good to go. It helps me bypass my officemate's chocolate bowl too. (That chocolate is one thing that I gobble up unconsciously because I'm bored at work).
As for the breadmaker, I'm so excited! DH has been discouraging me from getting one because he likes to make bread by hand. Well in all our time together, he's rarely actually made bread. So I just went ahead and got one! I made the first loaf yesterday. I need to adjust a few things but it was still halfway decent. Just the thought of making sandwiches with my homemade (with help) bread, yum. Our dinner last night was the bread, some brie, grapes, and a glass of wine. My perfect dinner and actually quite healthy. I forget that I love to eat that way sometimes, because I feel like I need to have meat, veggies, and a starch. This was a nice alternative.
Hey. Jeri, I think I'm going to take a little time to get to the writing place. I am at the very beginning ofthe process of trying to apply this IE consciously and consistantly. All I know is, I want to numb out, even though I know there will be shame and self loathing. I like the question of your councelor.
Amy, there are two of us, mine's just spelled differently. Four years is a long time, that must have been painful or both of you. I was afraid my SO would react that way, everyone else I ever dated has. As for slimfast, I vow every other day I'll go on a new diet, because I can't see immediate results, even though I couldn't stick one out six days, I'd be lucky to last two, they just don't work for me, but, I keep trying to punish myelf hoping they will. I love bread made in the machine, it's kinda fun pounding the bread into oblivian, but, my hand made bread always flops. Have you ever heard of those one cup brewers for coffee? I need to get the attachment that holds the water on mine replaced.
Actually, I don't know about this caffene thing. I've been off lithium and prozac for six weeks now, and the caffene really makes me jittery, even though I drink the two cups of tea I always did. I've been taking antidepressants for 15 years, and was tired of the side effects, hypoglycemia, a 30 pound weight gain, and feeling like a zomby. Feeling quite bipolar, but, I know there must be another way. Strangely enough, my family says they like me better, because I'm more alive. Called to make an appointment with my therapist, and went to see my instructor in the pagan ministry academy. She prescribed two hours of meditation a day, woe, that's a lot, but, I have complete faith in her. Only two and a half months til I start school, I'm so excited, though my daughter laughs, "Ha ha, mom's a witch, no wonder she's got five cats, that is so weird." I don't quite look at it like that. We learn a year of meditation training, then, a year of world mythologies, then transpersonal psychology and herbalism. I never said I was the most conventional girl in the world.
I'm gonna take a nap before I go off to pizza class. Have a great day.
Amie
Hi, ladies! I've been taking care of my grandchildren A LOT this week while my daughter and her husband take care of different things to prepare for their move. This is the first time I've had a chance to read this thread in days.
I hope all of you in the path of the midwest storms are able to remain safe. It's absolutely devastating with all the damage and lives lost in those states.
My eating has slowed down substantially since June 5, when I decided once and for all: no more diets. Of course, it's been too hot to want to eat a lot, and I've been very busy too, which has helped.
Though I decided to be pretty much scale-free too, I will check in from time to time, just for my own interest. I weighed myself this morning, and found that I'm down 2.8lbs in 10 days. Though this isn't much at all when I have over 100lbs to lose, it just shows that what I'm doing, right now anyway, seems to be working.
Two other things seem to be helping right now: Not talking about diets or weight with my sisters, and having a glass of iced tea with me at the computer. Several times recently the iced tea has been just as satisfying as the usual snacking that I do when I'm browsing.
I'm bringing the dessert to our family Father's Day gathering tomorrow, so I'd better get out to the kitchen and get baking.
Hi Becky. I think 3 lb in 10 days is great! I love iced tea, too, and find it very satisfying. It's good that the hot days seem to diminish the appetite. The flood is almost back in its banks now. Looks like clear weather next week. My husband has hay down so he's hoping no more rain for a little while.
Hi Becky. I think 3 lb in 10 days is great! I love iced tea, too, and find it very satisfying. It's good that the hot days seem to diminish the appetite. The flood is almost back in its banks now. Looks like clear weather next week. My husband has hay down so he's hoping no more rain for a little while.
Thanks, Carol.
I grew up on a farm, so I know how it is when you've got hay down in the field. I hope the weather stays clear so your dh can get it all in, and it's good to hear that the flood waters are receding.
Jerie--I ditto Amie. I love your therapist's question.
Hi Amy & Becky!
Carol--Regarding the weighing on a weekly basis. It did me in last challenge. It led to me bingeing. This time around I'm doing IE and it isn't as bad to weigh in. I love the challenges for the team aspect & the support. There are usually a few weeks between challenges so those will be my non weighing times.
I just had the best mango popsicle ever. A few weeks ago I had some mango sorbet. I'm loving mango right now.
They are actually called mango floe (I don't know what that word really means) and I got them from Trader Joe's. Sooo good! I'm always finding something new to try there.
Hi all - hope everyone is having a happy and safe (from the weather) weekend. It was 109 degrees here yesterday, and of course, my AC decided it wasn't going to work. Ugh, it was a miserable day and night. I was preparing myself to tough it out today because I'm not paying weekend rates to have someone come out. I decided to turn it on to see if it still wasn't working (this woman sometimes thinks things will cure themselves if I just leave them alone for awhile) and it is putting out cool air right now. If it croaks again, I may have to go visit my son, as it's supposed to be hotter today than yesterday. Only good thing about yesterday was, I didn't want to eat anything. Just drank gallons of nice cold water, and decided it was a perfect day to defrost my freezer.
Hey all you Kansas people - both my parents and all their kin were from Kansas. I have a cousin that still lives in Manhattan (I think-haven't heard from them in years). I spent a lot of time in Ks as a kid & my brother was even born there. I loved it - maybe because it was where my grandma's were, but was glad I didn't have to be there during tornado season.
I don't do the scales at all. I can tell by my clothes what's going on with my wt. I have my 3 mo diabetes checkup and blood work the end of the month, and they make me get on the scale, so I'll know what the scale thinks I'm doing. My problem with the scale is that I think I'm having a good day or week or whatever, but if the scale is not what I think it should be, I immediately start feeling bad about myself. It's just not worth it anymore. Maybe because I'm older now, but life is to short to let some machine tell me what I'm worth. I'm so much easier on myself since I gave it up.
Everyone have a great day, and be nice to yourselves.
Jerie--In the past the scale would send me on a binge. Because of IE I am doing better with it. I will not let that number on the scale determine my worth or how I will feel that day. That's giving it too much power. I'm such a concrete individual I appreciate what it does tell me. At some point in my life I will get rid of it but with me being morbidly obese I do want to keep an eye on the numbers.
Okay I so do not want to eat today. I haven't eaten since 8am. I do feel something coming so I will eat in a few. I've never not felt hungry and didn't eat. Usually I would think I would need to eat something and because I wasn't hungry nothing ever satisfied so I would eat more than needed.
hhHi, all. Seems like weather does crazy things, it's either broiling or storming. Hope conditions even out. I've wanted to eat less lately, but still wanna binge with difficult feelings, or because I didn't allow myself to have it for the last ten years, or whatever. My Dd made beautiful sugar cookies that we all enjoyed. I find myself very impatient for quick weight loss, I guess I'd better just let go and trust that it'll happen. Think I'll try the ice tea idea when I want to binge.
Amie
Here is what one woman wrote about her recent experience with IE.
*I'm not focused on losing weight
*I have freedom! No more writing every bite down, counting caloris,
grams or points! No more bondage to the scale or whatever diet!
*I eat what I want and I'm much more satisified. No more deprivation!
*When I do overeat, I assess why and rather than feel guilty or beat
myself up, I acknowledge it and find other loving ways to meet my
needs that food no longer fills.
*I no longer "graze" through my day becuase some diet is telling me to
eat every couple hours.
*I'm now intuitive with my exercise and listen to my body and don't
push my body and cause injuries.
*I accept my body - doesn't mean that I don't want to be thinner for
health reasons, but I love and accept my fat.
*I probably eat more balanced - not all protein, or all vegies and
fruit
*I really don't like chocolate that much (gasp!)- There are so many
other flavors I enjoy!
*I'm not thinking of food all the time
*I no longer have a problem taking home part of my food when at a
restaraunt. - When they suggested this at WW I had such resistance to
it, but now that I listen to my fullness level, I have no problem
doing so and actually look forward to the leftovers the next day!
In the past when coming up on a Holiday I would starve myself so that I could stuff myself. I started noticing that normal eaters just eat their meals and then indulge in the Holiday meal but not to such excess that they are practically sick afterward. What a concept!
These are the types of realizations that are so helping me. When I get down on myself and feel that no gains are being made I gently remind myself that my eating did not get out of whack overnight and it won't be fixed overnight.
I gave up weekly weigh-ins but out of curiosity recently weighed and had not gained an ounce (hadn't lost any either) but my clothes feels better and I am staying as active as possible with a stress fracture from my dance dance revolution experience.
Most recent + gains are that I actually crave healthy foods rather than sweets and fats.
