I have come to the conclusion that I really need to quit being so hard on myself about how I look now.
My niece gave me some clothes yesterday - hooray! Including a pair of size 3 pants. I can get them on but don't like the way they look mostly because of the loose skin around my abdomen. I was really bummed thinking I look just terrible. Dh (bless his heart) said "you're bummed because you can't wear a pair of size 3 pants? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Nobody sees what you think looks so bad except you."
I really have to work on this. I'm focusing on what I think are problem areas instead of looking at the overall picture and it's making me crazy. The loose skin will tighten up some over time (I hope) and if not it's a small price to pay for getting my health back.
It's an on-going process I think. I'm really pleased with how I've done, just need to get over myself and be realistic. Size 4 fits me just fine now and look good on me - I need to concentrate on how far I've come and quit beating myself up over my imagined deficiencies. Who knew that getting smaller would bring on a whole new set of issues?
I have come to the conclusion that I really need to quit being so hard on myself about how I look now.
My niece gave me some clothes yesterday - hooray! Including a pair of size 3 pants. I can get them on but don't like the way they look mostly because of the loose skin around my abdomen. I was really bummed thinking I look just terrible. Dh (bless his heart) said "you're bummed because you can't wear a pair of size 3 pants? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Nobody sees what you think looks so bad except you."
I really have to work on this. I'm focusing on what I think are problem areas instead of looking at the overall picture and it's making me crazy. The loose skin will tighten up some over time (I hope) and if not it's a small price to pay for getting my health back.
It's an on-going process I think. I'm really pleased with how I've done, just need to get over myself and be realistic. Size 4 fits me just fine now and look good on me - I need to concentrate on how far I've come and quit beating myself up over my imagined deficiencies. Who knew that getting smaller would bring on a whole new set of issues?
Sorry for the long "me" post!
You wanted to be PERFECT?
I can only laugh b/c we're buddies so I think you "hear" my support.
I've lost 90+ lbs but when I stand in the mirror before/after shower, I see the same lumps and bumps I saw at 260. (I have to remind myself that those hip/lower ab bumps are 15 inches smaller.)
I'm trying to learn that my body got smaller but it's overall shape isn't going to change into my view of "perfection" whatever that is. I'm also not 21 anymore (add 30). I abused my body.
Imagine a car. If you take pristine care of it, it stays pretty pristine but will still get a few stone chips and other "wrinkles" along the way (aging). Even the regular maintenace takes energy and money.
If you abuse the heck out of it, like I did to my body, then even if you get it detailed (IP diet) and painted (exercise), it never quite looks the same. The repaint job still shows flaws. Not all of the spots will come out of the carpet & upholstery. It'll be cleaner and better looking, but not the same as if it were never abused. BUT, it is still a good car and worth caring for. Do you stare at every flaw everyday? Nope. You hop in and take it for a ride.
The difference is that we can replace our cars. We get one body. Even plastic surgery will never return us to the 21 year old "new car".
I knew you'd see the humor in my dilemma Lisa! And I love your car analogy!
And yep, I'm 51 and getting hand me downs from my 21 year old niece and most of them fit and look good (she has good taste in clothes) - so I really need to quit b!tching and just appreciate that I have "battle scars".
I have come to the conclusion that I really need to quit being so hard on myself about how I look now.
I really have to work on this. I'm focusing on what I think are problem areas instead of looking at the overall picture and it's making me crazy. The loose skin will tighten up some over time (I hope) and if not it's a small price to pay for getting my health back.
I need to concentrate on how far I've come and quit beating myself up over my imagined deficiencies. Who knew that getting smaller would bring on a whole new set of issues?
Ruth Ann, in the short time I've been on this forum, you have become one of my "go to" inspirations! I can't even imagine the strength it took for you to keep going! I struggle with defeatist thoughts and I am trying very hard to conquer this. One of the sabotaging thoughts I have is "so you'll lose a lot of weight....but you still won't look good" - also because of the hanging skin/apron on abdomen and upper thighs that I know will not fully go away - even if I was skeletal. But now I try to stop and say "so, what are my options? I can stay fat, be unhealthy, shorten my life, and that skin will still be there, but instead will be gross, unsightly rolls of fat-filled lumps. Or, I can lose the fat, be healthy, the lumps will be 'deflated' and maybe someday I'll have surgery to remove the skin. In the meantime I'll camouflage it with Spanx! But the important thing is.......in which state would I rather be? Being fat, as we all know, is a miserable existence. I avoid all pictures (sadly, I have hardly ANY pictures of myself with my children when they were small because I avoided cameras like the plague), I am self-conscious about my looks always, I often limit social activities because of being so uncomfortable with my looks, or just not being able to physically participate......basically I am missing out on life!
I absolutely am not minimizing your observation that "getting smaller would bring on a whole new set of issues". As unfair as that seems, and optimistically assuming I will be successful losing the weight, I know I will be faced with that same dilemma myself someday. But from the outside looking in, I want to say to you, wear that loose skin like a badge of honor, girl! Like you said, the trade off was getting your health back, so the alternative would be to still be fat and unhealthy. You've done amazing work to reverse that and you deserve to celebrate your new, healthy body! And if you haven't yet tried them - check out Spanx! They help hide a multitude of sins
Hi the 20lb loss mark at my WI this past week! Felt pretty good so decided to haul some old jeans out of the closet, and all day yesterday I wore 8year old jeans that fit me when I was 36!! Holy Hannah that felt awesome LOL
Ruth Ann, I went to a Phantom fat class at my clinic this week. The owner said that many people continue to focus on the negative parts of their body because they have always done that. You are right about retraining your brain. Would you ever be so critical of someone else? She suggested making a positive statement every time you begin a negative thought.
The clinic owner said to look at your progress pictures to help your brain adjust to your new body.(that's why I posted mine) She said have someone draw an outline of your body to get a realistic view. Also stand in front of a mirror, close your eyes, put out your hands to the size you think your waist is, then open eyes to see if you are accurate or off base. People who do not work to change the Phantom fat feeling are more likely to gain the weight back, because they think, feel and act like someone heavier.
She said, "I promised to help you lose weight and get healthy. I did not promise to make you look like a supermodel. And.. those super models are airbrushed." She also said confident people accept compliments. They focus on their assets and do not point out their problem areas.
Hope some of this helps. I think that you are amazing! You keep fighting the good fight and always remain so positive. You are on the next step of learning to maintain both in body and mind.
So I've been thinking and I have a couple of questions. I noticed some conversation a few weeks back about chicken and store rotisserie chickens being life savers. So my question is I know we are not supposed to eat skin, but can we cook our chicken with skin on? I have been painstakingly cutting the skin off of whole chickens, can I just take the skin off my own after it's cooked? Also the whole veggie thing is starting to make me curious. I mean how many veggies you can fit in two cups depends on how you cut them. I personally love sweet bell peppers (the little ones). If I just slice them into rings it's 8-10 little peppers, if I chop them up a bit more for in something I can get more peppers in, the same with a lot of veggies. I mean we talk about cauliflower rice if I take two cups whole cauliflower before its cooked I can fit more in two cups if I chop it small, or 2 cups grated is a bunch and still raw... so I wonder how close I get to too many veggies when I cut them smaller?
Amber,
I just started reading the 100% thread, and saw this. The center I go to actually gives you weights for each different food based on their carb count. So you're not measuring volume wise (how much we can smoosh into a cup), you measure with a scale mass wise. Personally, I find this to be much more "reassuring" to me. It's not just an eyeball measurement, it's a definite, structured number. I've attached the list of select veggies and occasionals and their weights per cup. Hope this helps!
I just started reading the 100% thread, and saw this. The center I go to actually gives you weights for each different food based on their carb count. So you're not measuring volume wise (how much we can smoosh into a cup), you measure with a scale mass wise. Personally, I find this to be much more "reassuring" to me. It's not just an eyeball measurement, it's a definite, structured number. I've attached the list of select veggies and occasionals and their weights per cup. Hope this helps!
I have come to the conclusion that I really need to quit being so hard on myself about how I look now.
My niece gave me some clothes yesterday - hooray! Including a pair of size 3 pants. I can get them on but don't like the way they look mostly because of the loose skin around my abdomen. I was really bummed thinking I look just terrible. Dh (bless his heart) said "you're bummed because you can't wear a pair of size 3 pants? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Nobody sees what you think looks so bad except you."
I really have to work on this. I'm focusing on what I think are problem areas instead of looking at the overall picture and it's making me crazy. The loose skin will tighten up some over time (I hope) and if not it's a small price to pay for getting my health back.
It's an on-going process I think. I'm really pleased with how I've done, just need to get over myself and be realistic. Size 4 fits me just fine now and look good on me - I need to concentrate on how far I've come and quit beating myself up over my imagined deficiencies. Who knew that getting smaller would bring on a whole new set of issues?
Sorry for the long "me" post!
Ruth Ann...Kudos for how far you have come...You know you have scored big with this...you ARE the winner...
That being said..I would like to add the sizing for clothing in this country is an entire 'nother subject!! What with size inflation and the lack of standardization...it is a wonder we don't just wear caftans all the time...
However...take manufacturer into consideration...better pricier clothing is smaller and a 2 or 4 in Talbots will be smaller than something you find at target.. Also..misses clothing ...made for WOMEN...is even sizes...where as the odd sizes are usually juniors...and made for a younger less mature figure. You did not say how old your niece is...but she is prob younger than you...right? And why doesn't the 3 fit her at the moment...? Is it because her body is more womanly now? Does she need a 4 in misses or petites? And not saying WOMEN...can't wear jr sizes...but sometimes it just depends on how things are cut. Years ago...I was always in the smaller jr sizes as a young women...and remember when suddenly I felt like the Jr sizes just didn't fit the way I wanted them to and realized when I switched to the misses petites I liked my clothes better. Then I also realized my teenaged daughters shopped in Jrs...while I shopped in ms petites...but pretty often we did have things that were interchangeable...but not always. My girls are the same height as me...but obviously...younger!! Now they are ALSO in ms petites! What happened!! They grew up!!!
The number on the tag is meaningless...and once you start serious shopping...you become more aware than ever of that ...the lack of standard sizing can be a monster...esp when you are pressed for time!! Where to start!!
IT"S ALL GOOD!!!!!!! ENJOY YOU!!!
Hi the 20lb loss mark at my WI this past week! Felt pretty good so decided to haul some old jeans out of the closet, and all day yesterday I wore 8year old jeans that fit me when I was 36!! Holy Hannah that felt awesome LOL
Way to go!
I'm off to mix up a Raspberry Jelly (with 1/2c shredded zucchini) for lunch, then take a bike ride while it sets. Weather is BEAUTIFUL at the moment!
NSV: My shorts with the 44" waist (I wear men's trousers because I don't carry a purse and need the pockets) were so ridiculously large that the belt just barely helped. Granted, shorts fit more loosely than long pants, but 44s are officially out of my life FOREVER!
Ruth Ann and Lisa - your topics are always so helpful and right on the topic - what a great inspiration. I posted on the Daily Chat my experiences today trying on clothes. I made a point when I was struggling to get in to the size 12 and size 10 not to look until the dresses were settled on my hips.
I did not want to fall into a funk because of the "battle scars" and just wanted to see the effect of the dresses being worn. For me to be able to put on (albeit snuggly) dresses that size sent me into heaven. Inspiration, motivation and a bit of pride. What others see and what I see in the mirror need to be proud moments and I am going to work to try to reset my 'filters' to get to that point.
When I can get that size 10 on properly, then I will know I have really made it! Until then, 100% OP and I will be great buddies, going through every day together, by the book...no Easter candy, no 60th birthday cake, no Mother's Day treats...I'll take good jewelry instead?
Last edited by schenectady; 04-19-2014 at 05:45 PM.
We sure do beat ourselves up a bunch don't we? We worry we're too fat, then worry about what we'll look like if we aren't fat. Need to give ourselves a break and be proud that we are getting healthy. We don't have perfect bodies but, damn it, we're down here in the ditches doing the hard work to change our behaviors and get healthy and we should be telling ourselves how awesome we are frequently.
And I have a love/hate relationship with Spanx. Like I love how it smooths things out but I hate how uncomfortable it is and if it's comfortable it's probably too big!
Slipfree - That sounds like an awesome class! And I really should treat myself as nice as I treat strangers! I like those ideas you got.
65 - thanks 65, I know I shouldn't be down on myself and you guys have helped a lot. I mean really, how silly is it to complain that I don't like the way size 3 pants look on me?
And I'm with you on the sizing - I never realized how bad it was. I tried on two pairs of pants the other day by the same manufacturer, in the same style but different colors. One pair fit, one didn't. That's insane.
My niece is 21 and a clothes horse. I don't think she actually ever wore these pants. But what you're saying makes sense - which I guess is why they have try on rooms at the stores!
I'll get it all figured out and build a great wardrobe - trial and error!
schenectady Yeah on actually getting the size 10s on! And you're right, you don't want to focus on the battle scars. I'll bet you'll be beautiful in your gowns!
Thanks everyone for all the help - I feel less in a funk now. It's really good to know I'm not alone in my feelings or weird or anything. Okay, I am weird, just not that weird!
Hi the 20lb loss mark at my WI this past week! Felt pretty good so decided to haul some old jeans out of the closet, and all day yesterday I wore 8year old jeans that fit me when I was 36!! Holy Hannah that felt awesome LOL
Hooray for 20 gone! And hooray for smaller jeans! Congrats to you!
Kawaii1002 - that's a great list - thanks for posting it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fearciuil
NSV: My shorts with the 44" waist (I wear men's trousers because I don't carry a purse and need the pockets) were so ridiculously large that the belt just barely helped. Granted, shorts fit more loosely than long pants, but 44s are officially out of my life FOREVER!
That is just awesome! I actually took a stapler to the bathroom one day at work and stapled the back of the waistband of my pants because I was afraid they would come off. That's when you know it's time for new pants.
But the important thing is.......in which state would I rather be? Being fat, as we all know, is a miserable existence. I avoid all pictures (sadly, I have hardly ANY pictures of myself with my children when they were small because I avoided cameras like the plague), I am self-conscious about my looks always, I often limit social activities because of being so uncomfortable with my looks, or just not being able to physically participate......basically I am missing out on life! 
Like you said, the trade off was getting your health back, so the alternative would be to still be fat and unhealthy. You've done amazing work to reverse that and you deserve to celebrate your new, healthy body! And if you haven't yet tried them - check out Spanx! They help hide a multitude of sins 
Way to go!
