Hi djunamod, glad to see someone else here. I was beginning to think I was alone. I have just started IE also but I haven't read any of the books on the subject, just the article at the beginning of this thread.
I read The Weigh Down Diet which I thing is similar. In case you haven't read it, the jist of it is, eat when you are actually hungry, stop when you are comfortably full. Nothing is off limits only eat till you are full.
Sometimes you have to wait for actual hunger so you have to find something to do to occupy till hunger arrives. That's the hard part for me but It has really shown me how often I ate before. I actually ate to pass the time! What's up with that? LOL!
Every time I want to eat and it's not time to eat, I do all the things that I used to put off with food. I'm keeping a cleaner house, reading, taking leisurely walks, (not exercising, that only increases appetite), I've done some sewing. The other day I just went for a drive. Anything to keep your mind off of food.
I finally made up my mind to do this once and for all because I was sooo sick of being a slave to food. Do you know what I mean? Like it controls you, instead of you controlling it. I realized that this over indulging in food is no different than over indulging and drug, alcohol, or cigarettes. They are all addictions.
OnEaglesWings, I definitely know what you mean about being a slave to food! For me, food is all about control. I was emotionally abused as a child by parents who had good intentions but were simply immature mentally to know better. They basically had to keep me a mental child to make themselves feel powerful and superior. They controlled everything that I did, refusing to allow me my own identity. As a consequence, I was never allowed to feel good about any decision I made - in their eyes, I didn't know better and needed their guidance. So I started binge eating at 14 as a way to say, "screw you, I'm gonna eat what I want."
So IE has been very liberating for me in that I finally feel like I am learning to know what is good for me and my body rather than have some "authority" (with my parents no longer controlling me, the diet doctors I've been turning to have been the substitute) tell me what's good for me.
Today I had a kind of anxious moment though shopping at the grocery store. For the last 6 years, I have been to my friends and family "the vegan girl" because I've tried and failed many times to be vegan. I saw as part of my exploration of IE that I love eating dairy and eggs so I am back to being a vegetarian. I haven't bought dairy products for years but today I bought eggs, cheese, and yogurt. I had a lot of voices in my head accusing me of being a horrible person because I was causing animal suffering by buying these products (which is how sometimes the vegan community makes people feel). I am still struggling with that feeling but I am starting to calm down. Right now, my priority is to heal my relationship with food.
Yeah in the WDD book she talks about how we give control to the next diet or diet drs as you mentioned. Still someone else is in control. Even the vegan diet and community can take control. That is what I love about WDD and IE. You alone are in total control.
I may or may not lose a lot of weight on IE but I am finally free from the bondage of gluttony. I have that same resolute feeling as I did when I finally quit smoking. Freed from the bondage of cigarettes.
I also love the freedom of Weigh Down Diet. I can eat absolutely anything I want as long as I stop when I'm comfortably full. Today I wanted something sweet so as part of my small lunch I included 2 small cookies. I wasn't stuffed but I satisfied my sweet tooth.
Yes the stopping negative self talk is hard to do! Im glad you are getting something out of the book.
That is good to hear Palestrina, Im glad you are not giving up on IE.
So, today I was sitting there thinking about my life lately and food and I realized that the programming goes deep. In these past two weeks, an old friend committed suicide leaving behind his 3 young children. He was very close to my husband and we have both been having a very rough time dealing. Also, my paranoid schizophrenic (in denial) mother is now homeless because she can't stay anywhere for long because "they" are after her and I had to deal with that coming to a head today. I had to disconnect, lay down boundaries and tell her what I could and could not do to help her. So, all in all an insanely turbulent emotional couple of weeks and what am I thinking about? My body size and how unhappy I am with it. The fact that I gained 5 pounds and how to take it off. In the meantime, I am just emotionally eating all over the place but totally ignoring that.
....
Today I randomly started doodling and drawing and it felt really good. I haven't drawn in years. NOt that I am good at it but I hadn't realized what a valuable emotional outlet it was. Also, for the first time in weeks, I have no desire for dessert. It's pretty weird. So, that is me. As always, hoping relaying my experiences can help someone out there.
That is a lot to deal with, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It's difficult to understand what goes on in the mind of someone who wants to leave this life, it must be tremendous strain and anguish. You must be torn to bits about this. I didn't know that about your mother, I don't know what I would do in a similar situation but I do hope that she is receiving treatment at least for her family's sake. A colleague of mine has dealt for years with her adult daughter's schizophrenia. The daughter refuses to continue treatment. After many years of counseling my friend has reached the very difficult decision to cut her daughter out of her life. It was at a point where she was being hurt more than she was helping her daughter. It's a terrible disease.
You and SouthernMaven both have mentioned artistic expression as an emotional outlet. I'm a professional musician myself so I can appreciate the merits of art, if only my profession didn't make me a stressed out lunatic most of the time lol. My husband is an artist and illustrator and he often laments that while grown ups may continue to appreciate music and dance in their adulthood most do not continue to draw or make art past their school years. Maybe it's time for you to take a class, engage in art in a meaningful way!
Last edited by Palestrina; 08-31-2015 at 09:13 AM.
I think that is what is tricky about emotional eating for me is its not as black and white as oh I feel upset, I want these cookies and darn the torpedos. No, its more like I just am eating a lot more and I don't know why. Even though logically I can see that IM going through a lot. I guess because I was feeling my feelings about my friend, crying a lot, feeling my feelings about my mom, talking to my family I didn't think that I would continue to eat for self care. But, I still have been.
I wanted to comment on this specifically because it's an issue that is true for me. I can always go back and assess that I was stress eating or emotional eating. But at the time it really just feels like hunger. To me it's like compartmentalizing. I'm working hard to not fall in the traps of emotional eating but I've come to realize that I cannot work on emotional eating head on. It's not something I can stop in its tracks, I have to accept that. Maybe some can redirect their emotional hunger but I cannot. What I can do is deal with stress before it gets out of control. I know that when I'm overeating it is because I don't want to feel something in particular, and I don't want to face a situation. I have to let go of trying to control the eating part. What I can control is facing up to my stress at other times. Deal with my procrastination. Deal with the paperwork. Answer those emails. Put aside time to do my work, because if I let it pile on that's when I want to hide and eat and I will avoid everything until I'm so full and out of food and have no choice but to go back and do that work that I put off.
When I tackle my stress preemptively, the situation of emotional hunger does not arise.
Hello everyone. so glad I found this forum. I had read The Weigh Down Diet book back when it first came out but for a number of reasons, I didn't follow it. Recently I re read it and it really seemed to click this time.
The concept seems so basic and logical to me now. I like the term Intuitive Eating. It really sums up the WDD.
Anyway, I started Intuitive Eating this week and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it. As someone else mentioned, It's difficult waiting for hunger because it sometimes takes a while. This is so true. Before, I was eating every couple hours. Now I can go several hours before actual hunger happens. For instance, I get up at 6 am every morning and first hunger doesn't hit till 9 or 10! I was always eating by 7am before whether I was hungry or not. I'm diabetic and waiting till hunger hasn't affected my blood sugar. I think it's helping.
Because I'm not eating all the time, my house is much cleaner. lol. Every time I think about eating, I just get up and do something. A cleaner house is one good thing to come out of it so far. It's only been a few days and I already feel "lighter". Prolly haven't lost anything yet but I feel better already.
Hello and welcome to IE. It is also called hunger-directed eating so call it what you like. I'm glad you're having some success in recognizing your hunger, for many of us we were caught up in the diet mentality for so long that we weren't even aware of what our physical hunger or fullness truly felt like, you're steps ahead! I urge you to read the IE book, there are many benefits to understanding the principles of IE. There are also other books you can read that pertain to IE, I'm sure we have a list here somewhere if someone can dig it up.
Hi djunamod, glad to see someone else here. I was beginning to think I was alone. I have just started IE also but I haven't read any of the books on the subject, just the article at the beginning of this thread.
Every time I want to eat and it's not time to eat, I do all the things that I used to put off with food. I'm keeping a cleaner house, reading, taking leisurely walks, (not exercising, that only increases appetite), I've done some sewing. The other day I just went for a drive. Anything to keep your mind off of food.
I finally made up my mind to do this once and for all because I was sooo sick of being a slave to food. Do you know what I mean? Like it controls you, instead of you controlling it. I realized that this over indulging in food is no different than over indulging and drug, alcohol, or cigarettes. They are all addictions.
Hope we can be a support to each other.
What do you mean it's not time to eat? Why are you trying to keep your mind off food? Exercising can be a lot of fun, there is no reason to fear an increase in appetite. Not having read any of the material on IE yet I can tell you that you might have the wrong idea about what IE is really for. Keep an open mind here and hopefully you'll reap some of the benefits of following this philosophy. IE is not for weightloss, it's not meant so that you can control food or control your appetite. IE is a way to get in touch with your body's true needs and accepting that hunger is not a bad thing.
Also, the IE philosophy does not endorse the idea that food is an addiction. We do not believe that we fall victim to food. Food is enjoyable and there has been some speculation that sugar lights up the same part of the brain that heroin does as if that is some sort of indication of addiction. But in reality that part of the brain lights up when we have sex, listen to music, or feel any pure joy. IE is a path to making peace with food and enjoying it even more than you think you enjoy it now. When food finds its rightful place in your life and you're not using it to deflect your emotions and stress it can be an extremely enjoyable and guilt free experience.
OnEaglesWings, I definitely know what you mean about being a slave to food! For me, food is all about control. I was emotionally abused as a child by parents who had good intentions but were simply immature mentally to know better. They basically had to keep me a mental child to make themselves feel powerful and superior. They controlled everything that I did, refusing to allow me my own identity. As a consequence, I was never allowed to feel good about any decision I made - in their eyes, I didn't know better and needed their guidance. So I started binge eating at 14 as a way to say, "screw you, I'm gonna eat what I want."
So IE has been very liberating for me in that I finally feel like I am learning to know what is good for me and my body rather than have some "authority" (with my parents no longer controlling me, the diet doctors I've been turning to have been the substitute) tell me what's good for me.
Today I had a kind of anxious moment though shopping at the grocery store. For the last 6 years, I have been to my friends and family "the vegan girl" because I've tried and failed many times to be vegan. I saw as part of my exploration of IE that I love eating dairy and eggs so I am back to being a vegetarian. I haven't bought dairy products for years but today I bought eggs, cheese, and yogurt. I had a lot of voices in my head accusing me of being a horrible person because I was causing animal suffering by buying these products (which is how sometimes the vegan community makes people feel). I am still struggling with that feeling but I am starting to calm down. Right now, my priority is to heal my relationship with food.
Djuna
Welcome to IE! You are like most of us here, using food as a way to control our lives! I think we've all done that to some extent here, me very much! I want to assure you that this form of rebellion that you did, of taking control of your food intake, came from a place of strength and independence. You were young and you didn't know you were opening up a whole other can of worms. So appreciate this for what it is, an act of courage.
But now, like me, you've come to the realization that this act no longer is benefiting you. It's not solving any problems, it's not claiming any more independence for yourself, this solution is now resulting in problems of its own. So good for you that you are getting in touch with what your body really wants!
Palestrina, Thank you for the warm welcome. I was a yoyo dieter for 25 years before I finally broke free. I would "watch it" real good for a few weeks and get to feeling better and something would happen and I'd be binging again. I've tried low carb, high protein, coconut diet, liquid diet, low fat, low calorie, etc. LOL. I had a severe allergy to some diet pills I took one time and I swore if I ever got through throwing that stuff up, I'd never take another diet pill again. I haven't either! I have been through what every other dieter has been through.
Until I started "hunger directed eating", I hadn't felt actual hunger in years! I'd never let myself get that far. The first time I heard and felt my stomach growl, I was surprised. It was so foreign to me.
I'm just starting on the journey. I weigh about 200 and feel like a good weight for my age, 52, would be around 140. I guess I should start one of those scale trackers.
beginme, I love this quote! I am right with you on this.
"My goals are not measured in pounds, but rather by the self love and trust gained through Intuitive Eating. I accept that there are no quick fixes. That there is no miracle diet or drug. I will never give another $1 to the $50 billion dollar weight loss industry that fails us time and time again. I welcome the journey back to my own wisdom."
Been off the thread for awhile. Been busy. We had a vehicle drive through one of our stores, so dealing with insurance companies. Had 1 worker quit and another will be leaving. Now what I struggle the most with IE is eating by the clock. I will eat and then in my head will say ok you just ate at such and such a time now you should be hungry about such and such a time so then I watch the clock. So I am trying to figure out how to get that out of my head. My other problem is food groups. I will eating and then get the thoughts of ok I am having a carb so I need a protein and how much fiber, etc. etc. I am trying to get those thoughts out of my head!! Anyway I need to get back to work. Have a blessed day all!
TamTam, sorry to hear about your troubles. Yes, waiting for hunger is difficult. Try not to think about how long it's been. Your stomach will tell you when its time. If you are too busy to eat when it is time, just let your body take a meal from its fat stores and hunger will return in about an hour. I've tried it and it works.
As for getting the proper amounts of everything, I don't count anything anymore. I eat what I crave, what sounds good and what I have on hand. I believe my body will let me know if I am lacking in anything.
I do try to keep a good balance of healthy foods on hand so I have plenty of variety. My lunch today was a rotisserie chicken sandwich with swiss cheese on ww bread, 5 strawberries and water. Nearing fullness I took off the bread of the second half. Just ate the meat and cheese. So I had protein, fruit, grains and calcium. I think it was a balanced meal.
TamTam, sorry to hear about your troubles. Yes, waiting for hunger is difficult. Try not to think about how long it's been. Your stomach will tell you when its time. If you are too busy to eat when it is time, just let your body take a meal from its fat stores and hunger will return in about an hour. I've tried it and it works.
As for getting the proper amounts of everything, I don't count anything anymore. I eat what I crave, what sounds good and what I have on hand. I believe my body will let me know if I am lacking in anything.
I do try to keep a good balance of healthy foods on hand so I have plenty of variety. My lunch today was a rotisserie chicken sandwich with swiss cheese on ww bread, 5 strawberries and water. Nearing fullness I took off the bread of the second half. Just ate the meat and cheese. So I had protein, fruit, grains and calcium. I think it was a balanced meal.
Thanks! I am a work in progress. My lunch was baked ham with the pineapple and cherries, rice dressing and baked yams. My husband cooked yesterday and said he should not have to wait until November to enjoy "holiday" food. I agree.
companies. Had 1 worker quit and another will be leaving. Now what I struggle the most with IE is eating by the clock. I will eat and then in my head will say ok you just ate at such and such a time now you should be hungry about such and such a time so then I watch the clock. So I am trying to figure out how to get that out of my head. My other problem is food groups. I will eating and then get the thoughts of ok I am having a carb so I need a protein and how much fiber, etc. etc. I am trying to get those thoughts out of my head!! Anyway I need to get back to work. Have a blessed day all!
