I'm still riding my wave of feeling great here. Maybe it's the weather, impending vacation, or my dance classes which are super fun and make my body feel alive. Incorporating BoB into my IE practice has been a lifesaver so far. For a while I was getting bogged down with stress and diet mentality. One thing that IE has done is to help validate all my feelings , channel them and find appropriate ways to cope with them. Which I love! On the other hand it makes me indulge in every little thought and emotion that pops up. I've been drowning in them! With BoB I've been able to discern which thoughts are real and need to be engaged with and which thoughts are just passing through and are meaningless. Along with practicing mindfulness meditation I'm navigating those emotions effortlessly now (well not effortlessly but I'm getting better!).
There is a system of checks and balances with this approach that I'm really digging. Food is awesome. My body is happy. My mind is calm. My emotions are manageable. This is all I need.
Thats awesome Palestrina! I looked more into Bob and it sounds intriguing. I don't really binge anymore, I haven't in years but I do sometimes eat when Im not hungry which feels bingey.
I have changed some things here and I am feeling really good about food and how Im taking care of myself in general.
First, I have been having some blood sugar issues, being really light headed all the time to the point where it was hard to function. I started eating more protein at breakfast and I started snacking every few hours even if I didn't feel "hungry". I was really surprised to discover that I actually WAS hungry when I was eating my snacks, just not totally famished, like I had accidentally been waiting for when I was eating. when I started eating BEFORE I was famished, I stopped having such a hard time eating mindfully and stopped wolfing my food. I also started automatically making choices that felt better for my body and stopped craving sugar and treats. (which usually make me feel bad) And most important of all my lightheadedness has gone away. I feel like Im really taking care of my body and giving it what it needs and I don't feel STARVING anymore, like I guess I did feel often through out the day. I don't have that desperate feeling when Im around food or eating like I did. Im not sure how I accidentally fell into the must be famished before eating thing but that does NOT work for me.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 05-13-2015 at 08:06 AM.
@Pinkhippie good on you that you're tweaking your eating and getting even more in touch with hunger signals. It takes time to fine tune everything. Sometimes when I get super busy during the day I ignore my initial hunger pangs and put off lunch just because hunger is not frightening to me anymore like it used to be way back when I was dieting. But I've been known to let it go for a bit too long and then end up overeating. I try not to feel guilty about it but I get annoyed at myself when I should've known better! Lately when I know I'll have to put off lunch for a while I grab cashews as a snack and it does the trick.
I'm just so grateful and happy to have found this community. I feel so much more peaceful to know that even though I'm not perfect about eating intuitively I see real progress in my mind and body. It makes me incredibly sad when I read about dieting tricks and seeing people getting lost in the details of calories and fat and carbs, debating numbers and doing everything they can to make themselves hate food. It's especially troubling to see so many people call themselves addicts, living in constant fear of food. There's no way to win with food addiction, one is doomed to live a life of yoyoing back and forth between abstinence and rebound binging. I almost feel guilty about how much easier IE is, and how much gentler it is on the body and mind. Ok I'm not winning any contests in weight loss but I feel so different now than I did back when I was dieting. I still struggle sometimes with non-hunger eating but the binges are nearly gone, and I don't feel erratic around food anymore. I have to pinch myself sometimes that I've been able to accomplish so much following these principles, I had major major problem with binge eating, I couldn't control it even when I truly believed I was a food addict, especially when I was a food addict and tried to practice abstinence. I want to lose more weight and this is the furtherst I've ever gotten in my weightloss. I'm sure I will eventually lose more weight but in the meantime I feel so good living inside my skin! I'm able to look in the mirror and see my true beauty, I shake my booty and have a blast in my weekly dance classes and I wouldn't have been able to do that if I felt as self conscious as I used to about my body. I can stand next to my thin friends and feel just as valid as I thought they were. I still have a ways to go but I'm finally living from the inside out!
Last edited by Palestrina; 05-14-2015 at 08:06 AM.
In feeling unable to define what a binge is or if I am a binger . I know I was a binger, entering long periods of time when the only thing that mattered to me was food and eating as much of it as I could. By learning to eat intuitively I no longer find myself binging like that anymore. My binges were full of rage and shame and uncontrollable urges to hide all evidence of food. These impulses are a distant memory. However I still struggle with overeating sometimes, fear of being hungry and compulsive eating.
There is a world of difference between binging and compulsive eating although they might be related in a way. In my own definition as it relates to me compulsive eating means none hunger eating. I may not be doing it secretly or with the urgent fervor of a binge but I've done it enough to recognize that this is still a problem. It's brought on by a fear of being hungry, a refusal to focus on what really needs my attention (such as a deadline or chores) and complacent eating to avoid a bigger binge. These are all not adequate reasons to eat so I really have to practice some vigilance in meeting my mind and body needs.
Has anyone else ever thought at the difference between binging and compulsive overeating?
Last edited by Palestrina; 05-15-2015 at 12:28 PM.
@Pinkhippie good on you that you're tweaking your eating and getting even more in touch with hunger signals. It takes time to fine tune everything. Sometimes when I get super busy during the day I ignore my initial hunger pangs and put off lunch just because hunger is not frightening to me anymore like it used to be way back when I was dieting. But I've been known to let it go for a bit too long and then end up overeating. I try not to feel guilty about it but I get annoyed at myself when I should've known better! Lately when I know I'll have to put off lunch for a while I grab cashews as a snack and it does the trick.
I'm just so grateful and happy to have found this community. I feel so much more peaceful to know that even though I'm not perfect about eating intuitively I see real progress in my mind and body. It makes me incredibly sad when I read about dieting tricks and seeing people getting lost in the details of calories and fat and carbs, debating numbers and doing everything they can to make themselves hate food. It's especially troubling to see so many people call themselves addicts, living in constant fear of food. There's no way to win with food addiction, one is doomed to live a life of yoyoing back and forth between abstinence and rebound binging. I almost feel guilty about how much easier IE is, and how much gentler it is on the body and mind. Ok I'm not winning any contests in weight loss but I feel so different now than I did back when I was dieting. I still struggle sometimes with non-hunger eating but the binges are nearly gone, and I don't feel erratic around food anymore. I have to pinch myself sometimes that I've been able to accomplish so much following these principles, I had major major problem with binge eating, I couldn't control it even when I truly believed I was a food addict, especially when I was a food addict and tried to practice abstinence. I want to lose more weight and this is the furtherst I've ever gotten in my weightloss. I'm sure I will eventually lose more weight but in the meantime I feel so good living inside my skin! I'm able to look in the mirror and see my true beauty, I shake my booty and have a blast in my weekly dance classes and I wouldn't have been able to do that if I felt as self conscious as I used to about my body. I can stand next to my thin friends and feel just as valid as I thought they were. I still have a ways to go but I'm finally living from the inside out!
Thank you! I love feeling like I really am in touch with my body. I really can feel when Im satisfied now. Before I felt like I veered wildly between 2 extremes. Famished or Stuffed. Now Im exploring the more subtle shades of hunger and fullness and I love it. I also love your whole post Palestrina! That is SOOOO awesome! I feel like you summed up the whole point of the IE "movement." I call it a movement because it takes a lot of bravery to be happy and content with your body and shun dieting and body shaming. It's very different than what we are bombarded with 24/7. Good article you posted by the way. I have been looking at the book "When women stop hating their bodies." It has a lot of good stuff that I feel like I might be ready for. I was always reluctant to read that book because I still felt like my body was the problem. Now, I am starting to feel differently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palestrina
In feeling unable to define what a binge is or if I am a binger . I know I was a binger, entering long periods of time when the only thing that mattered to me was food and eating as much of it as I could. By learning to eat intuitively I no longer find myself binging like that anymore. My binges were full of rage and shame and uncontrollable urges to hide all evidence of food. These impulses are a distant memory. However I still struggle with overeating sometimes, fear of being hungry and compulsive eating.
There is a world of difference between binging and compulsive eating although they might be related in a way. In my own definition as it relates to me compulsive eating means none hunger eating. I may not be doing it secretly or with the urgent fervor of a binge but I've done it enough to recognize that this is still a problem. It's brought on by a fear of being hungry, a refusal to focus on what really needs my attention (such as a deadline or chores) and complacent eating to avoid a bigger binge. These are all not adequate reasons to eat so I really have to practice some vigilance in meeting my mind and body needs.
Has anyone else ever thought at the difference between binging and compulsive overeating?
I agree with your definitions. I think sometimes I compulsively eat but bingeing has been gone for me for a long time. I think I overcame that when I overcame my bulimia in my early twenties. Compulsive eating is trickier for me though. It really does feel like a compulsion sometimes and for me it is so true that it is brought about from being scared to be hungry, or something is going on that I don't want to look at.
I forgot another big change I made is that because Im a stay at home mom, I can make my meals whenever I want. I have started making dinner in the late morning, eating it for my lunch, and then popping it in the oven to reheat for the kids at dinnertime. (My husband has sensory issues and doesn't eat what I cook hardly ever) Dinner has been a problem for me for a long time. Im usually really really hungry in the afternoon and then eat so much that by the time dinner rolls around, Im not hungry. But I always feel that pressure to eat. I also want what I just worked so hard to make. Also dinner is STRESSFUL. At least 2 of my 3 kids are saying EWWWWW and whats in this and I don't want to eat it. My 3 year old will cry a lot of times and refuse to eat dinner. We are working on it.
Anyway, now I eat dinner for lunch, so Im nice and satisfied with a big meal, then when dinner rolls around I just sit with the kids and eat a sandwich or a bowl of cereal later. In peace and its just what I wanted. I don't really like big heavy meals at night. Maybe years of being single and eating bowls of cereal for dinner. Anyway, that has been a huge help and everyone is benefitting. It's also so great to not have the stress of kids home from school, dash around with homework and try to cook dinner. I love having dinner pre made!
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 05-15-2015 at 08:14 PM.
@Pink, kids suck. They really do lol. OT but lately my son (almost 4) asks for food... milk or a cheerios snack and then he doesn't eat even a bite of it. And then he asks for something else. It's torturing me! I'll never understand children. But otherwise he's a good eater, loves veggies and paces himself well.
I know that dinner time with the family is important but the important part about it is being together. I don't feel obligated to eat with my family when it's dinnertime but I do feel obligated to sit with them. Don't put so much pressure on yourself on WHEN you will eat, just keep paying attention to eating according to your own body's needs because nobody else really cares if you already ate and are just sitting there with them for the company. Just as long as you're there!
I have a strange schedule, I spend my days as a stay at home mom and then work on nights and weekends, but not every night and possibly not every weekend. Some weeks are more hectic than others. I was having a really hard time with feeding myself during the day. I no longer feel bound to making myself a schedule of eating although I used to rely on that. I'm much better about holding off on eating until I'm hungry and I'm flexible with meals. Most days I eat a very late breakfast around 10:30 and then I have my dinner meal around 5, possibly with a snack in between but very often not. Other days I have 3 full meals a day. Sometimes I have only one real meal and the rest of the day is snacks. I try not to analyze or criticize my eating, just go with it.
So I've been taking dance classes like I said I would. I change it up and do a variety of things. I've mostly been doing hip hop and african dance lol. I'm pretty good at hip hop. Yesterday I started a zumba class, had never been to one before. In all my classes I'm always the largest person in the class. I wish I wasn't but I am. I can't move as quickly or be as bouncy as the others but I'm definitely keeping up. One of the important factors i'm realizing is that there are mirrors in the classes. Everyone is staring at themselves. It's a really unique experience of not just looking at yourself, but also performing in the mirror. Everyone is checking themselves out. People are relishing in making their tushy jiggle. It's kind of cool! If anyone needs some mirror therapy then I strongly suggest you take a dance class! Dancing is helping me really feel and use my body. I can see in the mirror that compared to others I am a little stiff, a little inhibited, a little hesitant. But I also see and feel the potential of one day being like the other people in the class, totally rocking out like nobody's watching! Dancing is the best thing I've done for myself... ever!
Interesting observation, I've been fighting a sinus infection for about 10days. Although I'm feeling better I'm now experiencing a complete loss of taste. I'm not exaggerating, everything and I mean everything tastes like sawdust. I still feel hunger though so I eat and it's interesting to experience food solely in a textural way. It's nearly impossible to overeat when you're not enjoying the taste of anything and an unctuous texture does little to tempt me. It's sort of like seeing food in a colorless way. I hope this isn't permanent but it's interesting nonetheless.
It's been a year since I posted here. (I just checked!) I see a few new people as well as some old friends, including one who has had a name change.
When I left I had been working part-time at a Hallmark store along with doing some other jobs with Hallmark corporate. I was rocking along and doing pretty well (or so I thought). My eating was stable and although I hadn't really lost any weight I was maintaining and feeling pretty good. Fall brought some health challenges and I had to give up the corporate job at the end of the year. It was at that point that I had been diagnosed with some spine issues which were causing a lot of numbness & tingling in my left arm and hand (I am left-handed) as well as some pain. I started physical therapy in January and am sorry to say it really didn't help much at all.
Looking back, I see that I was self-medicating in the evenings - I would not eat much at all during the day but at night I was doing the wine/snack routine, which had gotten me in trouble in the past. But the most significant setback was the fact that although I was on my feet all day, I wasn't really getting any true aerobic exercise. So of course I began to put on weight.
Last month I finally went to my PCP, and I knew I was getting in some trouble medically. Sure enough, my BP was elevated, as was my cholesterol and my blood sugar. And it was all due to the extra weight. At 63, even a moderate weight gain is much more than a vanity issue. It really can affect your health, and apparently I am one of these people who simply cannot handle even an extra 35-40 lbs. without suffering significant consequences.
What a dilemma! Naturally my first instinct was to diet; after all, this weight HAS to come off, right? But it was pretty apparent even after that visit to the doctor that "dieting" as I have always defined it (calorie counting, etc) was never going to work for me again. So I re-evaluated and realized that I had to change what I was doing, but that didn't necessarily mean I had to resort to any type of food restriction.
I knew - and know - that in order to achieve any type of long-term weight loss and maintenance I was going to have to start exercising again. That's always been my biggest problem. So instead of worrying about calories, carbs, and all that nonsense I decided that I could make some changes that would significantly help me achieve better health, which is my ultimate goal.
First of all, I made a difficult (but necessary) decision to leave my part-time job at Hallmark. I did this because I knew in order to get serious about getting back into shape I needed to be able to get into a regular pattern of exercise, something which is next to impossible with the schedule I keep. It became a vicious cycle; I wanted to exercise but I was too exhausted to do so with any regularity.
Secondly, I wanted to set some sort of goal for myself but obviously not a weight-loss goal, so I decided to aim for a certain amount of miles walked by a certain date. (see ticker). That probably doesn't look like a lot, but keep in mind that I started last week and could only do a mile at a time when I started and could only do twice last week because I am still working. (I leave at the end of May). I have done more this week but I am ultimately aiming for 5 miles daily 5 days a week. It will take me some time to build up to that, but I think 100 miles by the end of July is doable, esp. after I am no longer working.
Finally, I have seriously cut back on the wine consumption at night. I don't ever say "You can't have any wine tonight" but a pattern was evident; on the days I worked, I found I could not unwind without a couple of glasses of wine. But on the days I did NOT work, it just wasn't necessary. Since I only have five more days to work before I leave, I know that I will be able to forego the nightly wine on most nights once my job is over - and no wine means no snacks, which is really the problem.
Sorry for such a long post, but I wanted to bring everyone up to date. I have been reading over some of the most recent posts and hope to be able to participate more fully after the end of the month. I am still striving to be able to ultimately live my life without ever thinking about food until it's time to eat. That pretty much describes where I have been most of this time, but it wasn't enough due to lack of exercise and too much nighttime eating and drinking. Hopefully with these two changes I can get myself back on track.
It's great to see you again Maven welcome back. I've thought about you over the last year and wondered how you'd been doing. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues but it seems like you are making great choices.
Maven good to see you! (I'm the name change, used to be wannabeskinny). Heck it's amazing how little life's changes affect out body. I think the cause of most people's dietary problems are grounded in scheduling and timing. It's not easy and I'm glad to see that you're taking the necessary steps to rework your schedule for your health. This may be a luxury that not many have. But you know what you're doing with IE and I know you'll straighten this stuff out, you sound like you are in a good place actually.
I'm sorry to hear about your spinal issues. I hope you don't mind me recommending something. For muscular/skeletal issues such as the one you describe there is no better doctor for this than an osteopath. They're not widely known but they are amazing doctors. Not chiropractors or physical therapists, osteopaths are fully accredited doctors of medicine that use manipulative therapy. You might remember that I had a very debilitating pelvic injury that caused me to limp and feel unbearable pain walking. I couldn't do any exercise for 3yrs. With the help of my osteopath I am now able to do all kinds of activities without fear of pain or reinjury.
Also, PT can take a long time before you see results. So hang in there and try to see an osteopath if you can. Most insurances cover it.
It's great to see you again Maven welcome back. I've thought about you over the last year and wondered how you'd been doing. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues but it seems like you are making great choices.
Thanks so much, Locke! I am happy to be back. I love this support thread and the people here.
I hope you are doing well. I've been trying to catch up with everyone by reading the most recent posts. I'm so glad to see you are still here!
