General Diet Plans and Questions General diet questions, support for various diet plans other than those listed below.

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Old 06-24-2015, 09:19 AM   #496  
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Hi, just getting back to 3FC after a break. Have been looking for a SUPPORT program vs. a weight loss program and this IE thread looks great. I too have been down the OA path...enlightening for sure, but ultimately gained lots more weight and learned to not trust myself. I know what food is best for me. But I need a support group to encourage me to stay on that path and deal with the strong addictive tendencies. Looking forward to spending more time here...
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Old 06-24-2015, 10:21 AM   #497  
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Hi, just getting back to 3FC after a break. Have been looking for a SUPPORT program vs. a weight loss program and this IE thread looks great. I too have been down the OA path...enlightening for sure, but ultimately gained lots more weight and learned to not trust myself. I know what food is best for me. But I need a support group to encourage me to stay on that path and deal with the strong addictive tendencies. Looking forward to spending more time here...
Welcome irishbabe. This is indeed a great support group for people who want to simply normalize their relationship with food! Learning to trust yourself around food is a challenging ordeal but I have found it has benefited all aspects of my life including career, relationships and body image. I will cautiously warn you that IE does not support the model of addiction to food and the belief that you are addicted to food perpetuates your mistrust of food and yourself.
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Old 06-24-2015, 02:49 PM   #498  
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I will cautiously warn you that IE does not support the model of addiction to food and the belief that you are addicted to food perpetuates your mistrust of food and yourself.
Thanks Palestrina. I actually strongly dislike the "addict" label and will happily leave it behind! Definitely looking for a more empowering model and way of thinking.
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Old 06-24-2015, 08:36 PM   #499  
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Welcome back Irishbabe
I'm just checking in before going to bed (I find that evenings are bad for me and I'm definitely struggling with just listening to my body/eating when hungry etc.) Sounds so easy right, lol. So I just go to bed as soon as possible after the kids are down to lower my chances of raiding the kitchen
ahhhh, all a work in progress!
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Old 06-25-2015, 10:40 AM   #500  
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So I just go to bed as soon as possible after the kids are down to lower my chances of raiding the kitchen
ahhhh, all a work in progress!

This is a very diet set mentality, why aren't you dealing with the feelings of why you want to raid the kitchen instead of avoiding them? Part of IE, from what I understand, is facing the reasons why we emotionally (or eat out of boredom) eat.

For IE to truly work, you have to have a long chat with yourself

But this is calling the kettle black in a lot of ways because my first instinct is to not eat anything at all unless I've earned it. But I'm slowly learning to address my feelings of control when I have no control. If that makes any sense
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Old 06-25-2015, 11:34 AM   #501  
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Most people who overeat at night aren't eating enough during the day.

I repeat:

Most people who overeat at night aren't eating enough during the day.

I've seen so many "workarounds" for this problem, including one woman who would SCREAM at her husband if he woke her up for any reason during the night because she would get up and binge eat. She wasn't eating enough calories or carbohydrates during the day. Your body WILL find a way to get what it needs.
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Old 06-25-2015, 12:54 PM   #502  
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This is a very diet set mentality, why aren't you dealing with the feelings of why you want to raid the kitchen instead of avoiding them? Part of IE, from what I understand, is facing the reasons why we emotionally (or eat out of boredom) eat.

For IE to truly work, you have to have a long chat with yourself

But this is calling the kettle black in a lot of ways because my first instinct is to not eat anything at all unless I've earned it. But I'm slowly learning to address my feelings of control when I have no control. If that makes any sense
Yes, BUT, as Locke says, overeating at night could simply be a reaction to not having eaten enough during the day. Couple that with emotional needs and you have one powerful reason to eat at night. It could be that your body is overly tired and is sending you signals of "either put me to bed or feed me because I need more energy!"

For me, late night eating or alone eating is a powerful sign of me wanting to take care of myself. You're all alone after a long day of taking care of everybody else. Eating at night is a way to nurture yourself. But what are you depriving yourself of if everyday you wind up alone eating and it's the only way you know how to unwind? What can you do along the course of the day to take care of YOUR needs? Eat mindfully? Exercise? Catch a nap? Have a good laugh with your best friend? Believe me, when you spend good quality time with your sled, taking care of your personal needs the option of binging at night will become less necessary.
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Old 06-25-2015, 07:41 PM   #503  
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Believe me, I hear what everyone is saying and I appreciate the feedback. But as I said, I'm still pretty new to the IE and mindfull eating world. I'm learning as I go and working with a therapist. For 20 years, I've only had 2 speeds: dieting or binge eating. So this is a work in progress for me and as far as dealing with my feelings? I'm still working on identifying triggers and how to deal. Currently my only coping mechanism is food so if I need to shut down the kitchen after a day of eating well in order to stop a binge that will potentially trigger me into a longer episode of similar behavior, then thats what I'll likely continue using for the time being. Again, I know its not ideal, but I'm trying hard to identify what works for me.
I'll definitely look closer at my food intake during the day as it is lower than usual and maybe thats a place I can make an immediate improvment.
Again, thanks for the feedback.
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Old 06-26-2015, 08:37 AM   #504  
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I hear you scaletosser. When my kids were young, i used eating at night in front of TV as a way to give myself some much needed "me time." It wasn't a healthy approach but it was a powerful coping mechanism. I eventually turned the TV off (never my first love anyhow) and started journaling with a cup of sweet tea. As I write that I laugh because that's not an image of myself that fits my self identity, but I do think it broke the cycle. This may not be your issue or solution but your post struck a chord with me.

I am currently struggling with not eating at mealtimes if I'm not hungry. I'm a stickler for sitting down with the family to eat...which might occur before I'm hungry because we've got to get out the door for practice, etc. Or, my only break during the workday is before I'm hungry....how to stay true to the IE principals when my life is currently pretty scheduled?
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Old 06-26-2015, 09:48 AM   #505  
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Irishbabe, changing a habit is hard work, good for you!!! I'm a stickler about sitting at the table to eat with my family too. Of course they'd rather lounge and eat at the couch while watching tv but I hate it.

Eventhoigh IE is about not restricting, I feel that it's important for me not to eat at the couch. It's a rule I implemented this year because the couch was the site of many binges for me. I hate even sitting on that couch anymore. No, meals must always be eaten at a table like a human.
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Old 06-26-2015, 10:57 AM   #506  
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Currently my only coping mechanism is food so if I need to shut down the kitchen after a day of eating well in order to stop a binge that will potentially trigger me into a longer episode of similar behavior, then thats what I'll likely continue using for the time being.
There's a different way to approach a binge instead of white knuckling through it. I used your method for a long time- try my hardest to white knuckle my way through not binge eating and try to learn as I go. Now I employ a different method, one that is recommended by the book Overcoming Overeating. I let myself binge eat. Yep, that's right. If I really need to binge to the point of having to throw food out so I won't eat it I will let myself eat. At this point I don't actually have medically defined binge-eating episodes. When I'm talking about binges I'm talking about eating when I'm not hungry or to the point where I'm uncomfortable full.

Letting myself binge eat (to me) in those situations is an act of kindness and self compassion. When it gets to that point I know that something is majorly wrong in my world. I practice self compassion and try to retrace my steps- why am I upset? What was the thought process that led to this? I try to find patterns. I let myself eat because it's a way I have of coping with something that is very disturbing to me.

In therapy learning to cope with negative feelings and self soothe in positive ways is like learning to swim. Binge eating, drinking, self harm, and other negative ways I have of self soothing are like a log floating next to me in the water. I'm learning to swim in small spurts- treading water around the log and doing my best to keep my head above water. Sometimes, though, I'm starting to drown and I need to grab on to the log. That doesn't mean that I haven't benefited from learning to paddle around the log. It just means that at this time it's too much and I have to go back to it for a moment to rest.

So instead of getting mad at myself I practice self compassion. I understand that learning to deal with my emotions and the stuff that life throws at me is going to take a long time and that I'm not perfect. I'm not so afraid of gaining weight from overeating that I will deny myself my old behaviors. If I overeat my body adjusts by making me crave exercise or not eat so much at the next meal. The body adjusts. Because I am not humiliated or ashamed because I overate I find it easy to go back afterwards. Binge eating becomes self perpetuating when you eat because you feel shame about overeating.

It's a different way to approach it than the abstinence method so I thought I would share.
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Old 06-26-2015, 11:43 AM   #507  
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Eating at night after the kids were down used to be big eating time for me. A few things really helped me with that. The first one is : I absolutely made sure to get a break and time to myself. My 3 year old goes to bed pretty early and I leave my husband to hang out with our 6 year old while the 12 year old has quiet time in her room and I go shut the bedroom door and get an hour long break. It started out as about 20 minutes when I first started this but over time as I overcome my guilt about taking a break it expanded to an hour or 45 minutes. I don't know if that is an option for everyone but it made a huge difference for me. It nurtured me and took care of me and instead of looking forward to a food free all in the kitchen to unwind and relax, now I look forward to my break.
Another thing that helps me is that I realized I do like a little snack before bed. So I think about what snack I would like, put it on a plate /or bowl and I sit at the table and eat it. Usually after my break. Over time I got used to going to bed without a full stuffed stomach and realized I like that feeling much better so I rarely overeat at night anymore.

And of course, I have done and continue to do a lot of emotional work. I have recently begun feeling what I really feel, realizing I have needs and wants AND expressing them. Even to my family which is a big deal. I used to eat a lot because I was angry but didn't know or feel I had a right to be angry so I ate instead. Im still working on it but I have come far.
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Old 06-26-2015, 11:46 AM   #508  
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I love what you said Locke! I agree with that as well. Self compassion is SO important. Another thing I'm still working on.
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Old 06-26-2015, 09:04 PM   #509  
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Irishbabe: You hit the nail on the head. I looove sitting on the couch with some food as a way of calming down after the kids finally go to bed (you'll notice I've phrased that in the present tense). I haven't done it in a few months but still think about it often as it was my favorite way of unwinding after a tough day....or any day really. Definitely trying to break that habit and I'm working towards what Palestrina and Pinkhippie were saying. I just need to find something else to look forward to rather than food because it's obviously not something that is working for me. Obviously better and more effective things to help me unwind at the end of the day and I'll keep trying different things until I have a better plan.
Locke: I actually have that book (Overcoming Overeating) but haven't yet read it. I have quite a few IE and ME books and havent gotten to that one yet so I may have to bump it to the top of my list.

Either way, I'm off to the cottage this weekend and won't be checking in again until Tuesday at the earliest. Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'll try to eat a little more during the day and be a little less critical of myself for the next while. I'll try to take breaks when I need to before I get so stressed that it becomes problematic and I'll make sure to inform my husband that I'll be doing this. Hopefully a little planning will help! Night all and thanks.
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Old 06-27-2015, 09:27 AM   #510  
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I've started a new thread since we've reached our 500 thread cap http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/gene...ml#post5178541
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