Sweet Pea-When it rains it pours, huh? One thing at a time, darlin. And I am so glad we are all here together. It seems we have some of the same issues to deal with. I see my therapist once a week. It has helped so much. I used to get self help books, but I just got so overwhelmed. He is able to walk me through my thought records, and change the way I think. I know I could not have done that myself. I was so frtunate in that I hit the bullseye my first time around. He is so wonderful, understanding, and knowledgeable. My insurance only covers 20 visits a year, though, and I am already up to 13. Hopefully I will be able to take it from here, and use what he has taught me. I definatley recommend therapy for anyone dealing with depression/anxiety. Just talking it out and hearing a different point of view is worth it!

Buddly-I would have loved to have a neighbor who gets up at 4. It would make the night seem much shorter. Hopefully after the meds kick in, and the side effects wear off, I will be able to sleep a little better. I have tried all kinds of herbal remedies, as my mother is totally into that kind of thing, but the only thing that works at all is melatonin. And even that only works some of the time. I eally wanted to take a nap today, but made myself stay up, so I will be so tired I will be able to sleep tonight.

Kristin-I just did the same thing. Every night I tell myself that I will start my diet in the morning. Morning rolls around, and I'm like, hmmm, twinkies! So here I go again. TOMORROW I will start again. My husband somes home in 7 weeks, and we are going on vacation, and he and the kids have decided it would be so much fun to go to a waterslide park. Um, right. 215 pounds shoved into a bathing suit? Not likely.

the dieting comments sound EXACTLY like me. in fact i often completely forget i vowed not to eat sugar and just go grab an ice cream without remembering. sounds silly but it's true

i wrote to the tax dept and asked if we could do it all by correspondence - i don't want them to come visit me!!! we will see what they say

i feel slightly better after going for a walk with the dogs. now i am trying to decide what to do tonight. whether to buy some dinner or go dancing or stay home. not sure if i mightn't be too emotional to go out. but i may be ok. all depends. sometimes the guys there can be annoying. depends who is there

i need to relax. off now to see what is on tv tonight:p

keira i am intrigued that the golite helps with sleep? how does it help sleep? i am desperate for decent sleep

Sweet_pea - the go lite changes your circadian rhythms. I use it first thing in the morning and then I find that I'm tired at a "normal" time. I was surprised when it started working. There is a test on the apollo site, and that is where I got my schedual from. All be it I haven't been using it consistently for the last week or so and I'm really off, I thought there was enough oomph in the sun, but not quite for me, I tell my girls I'm "solar powered" and they call my golite my "sun"

Marcie - I hope your meds start to work for you. I just thought I would mention the homeopathic things that I've had some success with. My neighbour has moved so its just me again. To be honest another thing that helped me was getting a dog, as I know he will bark if someone were to come in. My hubby is gone a lot so that made a huge difference. And of course the paxil helps with the rediculous door checking I had to do. I'm finally starting to consider some counselling. I asked my doc about it and he told me to just go to mental health and say I need help......well......that may take some doing. I've been told that meds and counselling together is the best treatment, so its nice to hear a positive testamonial.

Well I have to get off to bed I have to get up at 5:30am as we are leaving at 6:30 and I don't do mornings!!

Take care all and I'll "see" you next week,
K

Keira that makes sense on the circadian rhythms. my doc told me to go outisde in the sun as soon as i wake and not to get up in the night if i can't sleep as turning the light on will upset the circadian rhythms

dogs definitely do help. i got my first one when i was married and my hubby was often home late. it made me feel much much safer plus of course they are so loving and sweet. i wouldn't be without them

meds + counselling are the best approach i'm sure of it. i've done some therapy in the past, plus i've read a lot of self-help books that have helped me but might be time to try again. it's definitely worth thinking about K

off to bed now! feeling a little calmer. i was very panicky about the tax investigation and still am. i will have to "justify" everything and that could get nasty. never mind will worry about it later. hoping for a good night's sleep and that my house sells this weekend. that will be a load off my mind. altho of course i would then have to find another place :D and pack all my stuff.

the best thing that every helped me was rational emotive therapy which i read in a book and journalling. i don't do it often enough. i esp like journalling by hand. i find there is something about writing with my hand that integrates everything in my head and helps me make sense of things. a lot of the time i am too agitated to sit still to do it. i try to do at least 2 full pages of writing. i haven't done proper journalling for ages. i have tried many days to do some writing about things over the last few weeks but i end up writing half a dozen words and then running off because i can't sit in one place! anyway it is worth a try if you can't afford or are not ready for therapy. or of course as well as therapy. there are lots of good books and courses on it.

Hi everyone, things are going good today. I woke up this morning singing happy, happy Friday!!! Then today, I started figuring out the rest of my time off for work before July 1 (fiscal year - use or lose type of thing) and I'm not working a heck of a lot in the next two months. For a few weeks I'll be doing 3 day weeks. Since December I've been only working 4 days/week. Unfortunately the last 2 weeks of June and the first week of July I have to work the entire 5 day week. I don't know if I can do that anymore. :) I'm spoiled rotten.

Marcie, when your therapy with insurance runs out (don't use all of them so that you have some in the bank in an emergency) try the base family center. I know that there are resources for military spouses, especially when the spouse is deployed.

SweetPea, yikes, tax investigation. Are you self employed? I know here in the US that self-employed gets audited way more often then other returns. If you have all your receipts and such, you'll do fine. I know you to be honest so there's no way they'll find anything. You're in my prayers.

buddly, have a good time even though it's hard to go (I know you've probably already left). I'm glad that your DD is going still. Good job on the bike shorts. You're very smart.

Kristen, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Definitely don't push yourself. You're body will recover in it's own time. I got a cold in December and then another in January. I thought I was never going to feel better. Eating healthy (most of the time) and exercising (mild at first) was my way out of the virus cycle. Hugs to you.

Well, I should probably get soemthing done. :( Chat with you later.
Marie

Another sleepless night. I do have a great dog, but the problem isn't someone breaking in. It's other, weird stuff, like the kids getting sick. This week, several people in our homeschool group came down with a very nasty stomach bug, and that brought my anxiety and panic back to the surface, with me checking the kids all night. And last night my daughter spent the night with a friend who lives half an hour away, so I kept having thoughts of her callig me in the middle of the night, sick, and me not knowing how I was going to be able to go get her, since I'm home alone with the boys. BUT of course, none of that happened. I have GOT to get some sleep. My house is a mess, laundry is seriously piling up, and if the kids eat one more pop tart, I think they will turn into one.

Yeah, so much for starting the diet again today. I'm too tired to even try.
Sweet Pea-Do what you can in preparation, get your receipts, and accounts, etc. ready, and maybe that will help put your mind at ease. Good luck.

morning
one of the dogs peed inside last night SCREAM!!! not great when house is on the market. i better go have another go at cleaning it up. just waiting ofor it to dry before having another go at it. back soon :D

marie working 3 days a week sounds great. bet tht will take a lot of the hassle out of life. you're singng ;) how cute!!!

tax investigation is because i used to own a farm. so yes self employed. they are checking i paid the right amount of tax. i need to get a valuation to support the amount i charged and how i split it over building and land (different tax rates for each). i don't have a valuation so that could cause problems. not sure what else they will poke into but definitely the sale as it is the major amount.

marcie - did you talk to your psychiatrist about all your anxiety? i found when i was dx bipolar they sort of overlooked the anxiety. later they decided it was anxious depression rather than bipolar. it may be that you need something specifically for the anxiety. it's hard but somehow you have to tell yourself that everything is ok. you're safe and there is nothing to worry about

i am not sure what i will do today. i still have my daily headache. the antibiotics haven't cleared it yet and i feel tired. i took a sleeping pill last night but it was still a restless night. i feel defeated. somehow i have to keep things together until the open house on sunday and then i have to just take off somewhere. don't know where and right now i don't care what it costs. i just want someone to make me feel better. massage nice food etc etc etc.

today i need to mow lawns and do poo patrol and a few other things for tmrw open home. then tmrw all the vacuuming etc. i might buy flowers for the house altho if i'm going away they will be wasted!!!

Good evening, all. I'm doing better tonight. Sat outside in the sun for a while. That felt really good. Now that the weather has cleared up, the boys have been playing outside much more. Therefore, the house isn't getting as messy!!! LOVE summer.

Well, still gotta do laundry. Yucky.

OH ya this weather is the greatest
L

weather here was ok until i started mowing the lawns then drop drop drop. then the mower belt broke and i couldn't start it again - hey presto fine weather

anyway been out and about today. screamed at someone in a shop who interrupted but otherwise incident free.

not sure what i will do next. jsut try and relax i think. i bought some curtains for one room now i can't be arsed putting them up hehe. still a bit of daylight so popping outside

marcie i love summer too. glad today is better for you

okies!!! the decision is made. the dogs are booked into the boarding kennels from tmrw night and then i will be off to auckland for a couple of nights. i have booked a hotel so all should be situation go. i just hope nothing goes wrong. i'd hate to get to the kennels and have them say no ma'am your dogs can't stay here. should be ok. one is already up to date with shots. the other gets hers tmrw and she's only a few weeks late so fingers crossed

tonight i have to finish getting ready for open house. i am also needing to finish writing the article. i have taken a fresh look at it and it isn't good enough. i just hope i can get my brain into gear in time to submit it. i am meant to have 3 articles for them which makes it even tougher. i was hoping that i would write one that is so razzmatazz zinging good they wouldn't need the others!!! still time let's hope

really looking forward to getting away...

Hi everyone,
sweet pea i know what you mean about not having many real friends.
I haven't had real true friends in years, well my best friend lives in TX.
Highschool was easy, but then i moved away, i had one or two friends on and off, but not like best friends, something always...came in between us some how
and now, i moved again, i have one friend a neighbour..with 3 kids, she is moving soon from our complex, i hope we keep in touch, for each other, and for the kids...

My husband was my best friend for ahwile, but lately he is distant, he is a very quiet man to begin with, and keeps to himself, and lately he does that more, so i get very lonely....

My mom lives here too...but moms are too , i dont' know...they bring things up later, that you told them one time, in a moment of frustration etc..
like i want my mom to make comments about my husband...or something..
i don't think so..

in Fl...i had a terrific christian counselor at our church and for like 3 years i went to her...every other week, she wasn't a friend, but she felt like one, she gave terrific advice, and i knew i could trust her, with out her...i feel lost.........

We took Olivia to see Aquamarine on her birthday,and it is a lot about best friends, i cried a lot at the end, how i long for friendships like that again,
like i had in highschool.

anyways..enough of me babbling.
God Bless you all
Jenny